Okay since I have nothing else to do, I'm updating again. Wait…I should be doing my homework but I really, really don't wanna. I'll just do it later.

Lots of flashbacks in this chapter.

Chapter 11

Roger knew it was bad, the way Mark was acting before he left the loft. Well maybe not bad, but definitely not Mark. He seemed kind of worried about something, and Roger just couldn't put his finger on it. But then again, Mark has always been a little strange. That's why I love him so much. Roger smiled, he always smiled when he thought about Mark, and he just couldn't help it.

Back when Roger had first realized he had feelings for Mark, was when he noticed the constant smile. Roger would be out with one, or all of his friends, and just smiled and the mention of Mark's name.

Collins and Roger both stumbled out of the Life Café. They had gone there hoping to get totally wasted, which didn't happen. When they walked into the café it was so crowded. It took them 20 minutes just to get into a spot where they could see a small section of the bar. They decided it wasn't worth it and just decided to go back to the loft.

"Well Mark should be happy now, he doesn't have to take care of two grown men, drunk off their Asses." Collins said

Roger smiled, "Yeah"

"Well you guys still got alcohol at the loft, I'm sure. Will just go there, that way all three of us can get drunk."

"Yeah" Roger responded still smiling

"Mark's always cute when he is wasted anyway. Not like it takes a lot to get him there."

Roger's smile got even bigger "Yeah" Mark's always cute. Always.

"Do you know how to say anything other then yeah?" Collins asked well walking up the stairs to the loft. "And why they fuck do you have that grin on your face?"

"I guess I'm just in a good mood," Roger said walking into the loft.

"Why are you in a good mood?" Mark asked "And why are you guys not drunk?"

"We decided to come here and indulge in the alcohol of the famous loft. And you get to join us" Collins said while going straight to where Mark and Roger kept all the alcohol.

"Yeah Mark, lets get drunk" Roger said taking his choose from the bucket of beverages.

"I guess so. What else have I got to do tonight?" Mark said grabbing a beer.

"Rooooogggyyy!" Mark yelled for Roger loudly, who was sitting right next to Mark.

"Yeah Mark?" Roger asked the very drunk Mark an hour later.

Collins and Roger just laughed at Mark; both only had a very light buzz. When they started drinking Collins remembered the class he had to teach in the morning and Roger remembered his job interview. They knew they needed to stay sober, but Mark apparently didn't. Not like he would have had a choice. Once Mark starts, he can't stop.

"My drimks all gooone!" Mark still yelled.

"Then get another one"

"Okay"

Mark staggered up off the couch and staggered over to the counter. Mark stood leaning on the counter for a minute waiting for everything to stop moving and come into focus. Once it did he grabbed the bottle of scotch and tried to poor it into his plastic cup. When he realized he wasn't getting it in the cup he just took the bottle and staggered back over to the couch, where me promptly plopped down.

"Little troubles their Marky?" Collins asked between laughs.

Mark held out his middle finger, or tried to at least and said, "Luck you Collinds"

So they sat talking for about another hour, Collins and Roger laughed while Mark talked, till Collins decided he should head home. He went over to Mark and picked the boy up off the couch, into a hug. He felt Mark go limp and lifted the boy up so he was carrying him and started walking to the filmmaker's room.

"Collins wait," Roger said

Collins placed Mark on the table so he was sitting on it when Mark woke up, so Collins didn't really have to hold him steady as much as he would have had to.

"Yeah"

"Never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow"

"Okay. Can you get him to his room?"

"I think so"

"Bye"

"Bye"

Roger Collins walked away from Mark and out the door. Seconds later Mark slid off the table and onto the floor, hitting his head on the leg of the table.

"Ow" Mark cried drunkenly.

Roger ran over to Mark to make sure he was okay.

"You okay Marky?"

"No"

"No?"

"It hurts"

"I'm sorry bud"

"Make it go away Roger."

"I'll try. How do you want me to make it go away?"

Mark closed the gap between him and Roger and kissed him passionately. And the rest was simply history.

Roger climbed out onto the fire escape and looked out over the East Village. It wasn't the nicest thing to look, but it was his home, so it was nice to him. It was nice until he looked over at the alleyway. That's where The Man always goes to sell all his drugs.

Roger had done a lot of things since he had been clean, hard things. He went back to his old band, which still shot up. His old 'friends' had offered him drugs and he has even talked to The Man, twice! But going back into alleyway was just something he couldn't do. There were to many painful memories that go back to that alleyway. They were mostly of him and April, shooting up. Sometimes it was just him shooting up, after April was gone. He can remember the last time he shot up, well almost shoot up.

Roger was sitting in the alleyway, just about to shoot up. What else was new? He was alone since April killed herself. The Man gave him his drugs and left. Roger couldn't leave though. The only other place he could go was to the loft, but he refused to go there. He refused to let Mark watch him shoot up. Sure Mark had seen him high, but he has never seen him shoot up, and he wasn't going to let him.

Just when he was about to plunge the needle into his arm he heard something. He listened for a minute and heard…giggling? He then saw someone stumble into the alley. He couldn't tell who it was, but he knew he had seen him before. The man came closer and he could tell who it was.

"Mark?"

Mark looked up and saw Roger he waved, and then fell flat on his ass. Roger went up to Mark and quickly hid the needle. Not that he will even remember if he sees it.

"Mark man. You Okay?"

"I tthinnkk I ad a littllle tooo mch du trink"

"I think you did to. Maureen again?" Mark didn't answer. Roger had a choice, he could take Mark back to the loft or he could shoot up.

No! I can't shoot up, Mark is here. I promised myself. But it's not like he will even remember it. No! When Mark is drunk he remembers one thing perfectly. This would probably be that thing and he wouldn't let Mark witness that.

So with that settled, Roger picked Mark off the ground, a little to fast apparently. Mark puked where he was just sitting. Mark put his head against Roger's shoulder and passed out. Roger sighed and picked Mark's feet off the ground and carried him to the loft, where he stayed with him while he was sick all night.

That was the day I chose Mark over The Man, over April, and over drugs.

Roger was still looking at the alleyway when someone when he saw someone going into it.

"Mark?" No, it can't be Mark. Mark would never use drugs…no never. But Roger couldn't shake this bad feeling he had. He climbed down the fire escape and headed for the alleyway. He ran down the street and stopped just before passing the alleyway. He leaned against the side of a building, breathing deeply. I can't do this. I can't go in there. I have to Mark's in there, he might be in trouble. Roger stepped into the entrance of the alleyway to see Mark hit the ground.