Growing Pain- Why thank you. The whole car scene was my lame attempt at writing action, I never tried it before. I was disappointed over how it came out, so it wasn't just you. Although you'll have to wait a little bit to see what Valon does next because this chapter doesn't have him doing anything. Yeah, I think I rushed too much so there were errors, but it happens. We all make mistakes, right? Lol! Yeah Mokuba is a pro, he should teach a class, 10 things to do when your held against your will, or something along those lines. To answer your question, this wouldn't work without Mai unless I took it in an entirely different direction, but I'm not so ya for Mai.

5animefan- I agree, Mai is a character that you can do so much with, that's why I love to write about her. Realistically, she could end up with anyone. Thanks for the compliments.

Disclaimer: YGO is owned by someone somewhere who is not me. I know, I'm upset about it too. LOL. Oh and I don't own the little song things I usually start off the chapters with.

"All my work and endless measures
Never seem to get me very far
Walk a mile just to move an inch
Now even though I'm trying so damn hard
I'm trying so hard
This world can turn me down but I
Won't turn away
And I won't duck and run, cause
I'm not built that way
When everything is gone there is
Nothing there to fear
This world cannot bring me down
No cause I'm already here, oh no!"- Duck and Run, 3 Doors Down

Machines beeped continuously. People in white suits, and some in blue, dashed around the room in a fast paced manner. He could hear somebody beside him crying. He could hear the other person sitting by him muttering.

None of it mattered to him though at this point.

Because her blood was still on his hands.

"I hate you." he heard the words in his head again for the hundredth time since the drive to the hospital. His insensitivity was her downfall, again.

Not that he could change that now. He couldn't. She was still in there, suffering. Mokuba was gone, Kaiba had apparently gone crazy and Valon . . .

He can feel his hands close into fists voluntarily. His short nails dug into his palm and he knew that it would leave a mark, but he needed to do something to release the pressure. He thought that guy had a chance, maybe that Valon could redeem himself.

Yet the fact that he didn't wasn't a surprise.

Everything around him was blurry and bright. He couldn't focus and the past few hours seemed to have taken centuries. He didn't even remember what time he arrived here and he didn't know what time it was now.

Slowly, he was coming back to reality to discover that he was in a hospital, apparently in a waiting room. He hated hospitals, almost as much as he hated the off-colored blue chairs that were displayed in them. They look comfortable, but they aren't. It's like the hospital tried to fool people.

That, unfortunately, wasn't his biggest concern though. He's just looking for something, anything to get rid of those feelings that are taking over his body.

Grief, guilt, anger, pain, friendship . . . everything he's ever felt all rolled up into one tiny ball seemed to be stuck in his throat. It was hard to describe and he felt that if he tried he would have chocked on them and fallen onto the floor.

At least the tears stopped, but that was probably because Serenity was here. He was always one for putting on a mask. Everyone thought they knew what he was feeling, but nobody could even understand the intensity of it. Just knowing he could have prevented this . . . nobody else would ever understand.

"Joey." Serenity said in a quiet voice. It was the first word she had spoken since Duke brought her here. She requested it when Joey phoned home, but she wasn't prepared for it. So she, like the rest, just sat in silence until she couldn't bare it anymore. He finally looked up from his musings.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Um, maybe you should go wash up." she said. The sight before her made her stomach ache. She was sitting by her brother and the blood on his shirt sickly fascinated her. It belonged to the woman who was her role model so long ago. Serenity knew something happened in between all of those years, something had obviously changed in all of them. Yet right now, sitting next to her stained brother, she wondered if maybe she changed too. She reached down to grab his hand, to try and give him the support he always gave her.

Joey glanced down at himself. Laughing bitterly to himself, he knew it would never come off.

Sure he could wash it off, but in the middle of the night the spots would still be there. He would also see them, feel them. He would always hear the ranting and rambling that made no sense and yet so much sense at the same time. Joey felt that the burning smell would always be stuck in his nostrils.

Joey decided to burn the shirt when he got home.

"Excuse me, are you family of Mai Valentine?" a woman asked while she approached the group. She was wearing an off-blue colored nurses outfit. Joey rolled his eyes at it.

"Yeah." Serenity answered, because she felt it. She didn't know how everyone else felt, but Mai was like family to her no matter how she changed.

"You can go see her if you'd like." the nurse said. Joey nodded, but walked toward the bathroom to wash himself up a little bit.

Serenity decided to wait for her brother, for she felt that she couldn't emotionally handle walking into the room by herself.

That left Duke standing in the doorway glaring down at the pale woman in the bed. He walked across the tile floor that they all had seen so many times for so many different reasons.

Pulling up a chair, he sat down and looked at her for a moment.

She lazily opened one eye and looked at him. A small sigh escaped her lips. Luckily the accident wasn't life-threatening, but she was still weak. After all, it was still a bad accident and one doesn't usually bounce back from it right away.

"Go ahead." she whispered. Duke looked at her confused for a moment.

"Well tell me." she demanded. Her voice was hoarse, but both eyes were closed now. Duke was convinced that she was sleeping and talking to somebody in her dreams, but he decided to answer nevertheless.

"Tell you what?" he asked rather softly. Everyone knew that he was no longer on her side, if he ever really was. Now though, she seemed like a totally different woman than he previously knew. This wasn't the woman who drove them all at record speed to find Joey for Serenity. This wasn't the woman who tried to help Joey through his duel with Odion. As she was lying there, she didn't even look like the woman who had tried to steal Joey's soul.

She looked broken, like a shadow of the person she once was. Duke wasn't even sure if she knew who she was anymore, nobody else did.

Her eyes fluttered for a second at his response. She took a deep breath before considering her answer.

"I deserve it." she said, emotionlessly. Duke stared at her for a while. He didn't know how to respond, or what to say.

"You can't say it . . . but we know." Mai added. She was shaking slightly now, but sounded resolved in the matter. Duke didn't know what to think. The incident was karmic, but he didn't think she deserved it.

Luckily, Serenity and Joey had entered the room to save him from any more conversing. Looking down at the ground, Duke left. He couldn't handle being in the same room with her. Duke wondered if she'd ever discover who she really was as he walked out the door. He had to tell Abby what happened.

Serenity took his seat and Joey just stood beside her. He placed his hands in his pockets and shifted back and forth on his feet. He couldn't handle this type of thing. He could jump in front of ancient gods but he couldn't handle being in the hospital.

He knew Mai hated the off blue color that surrounded them too.

"It's like back in the day . . . only without the evil soul-stealing freak . . . wait, I guess that's me." she whispered bitterly in between coughs. Her eyes were open now, but she wasn't looking at them.

Not yet, Mai couldn't look at them yet. Instead her gaze was fixed toward a crack that happened to be on the nearby wall.

Joey couldn't answer her either. He, like Duke, didn't know what to say or where to begin. He felt that if he started that he wouldn't be able to stop.

"It is like de ja vu." Serenity spurted out. Mai and Joey both looked at her.

"How long have I been here?" Mai asked.

"A while, almost the whole day actually." Serenity answered. Mai nodded, but didn't really pay attention. Her mind was focused on one thing, but at this moment there wasn't anything she could do about it.

"Um, what did they say, the doctors?" Mai asked. The silence that filled the room seemed to seep up the air so that staying quiet was making it impossible to breathe. Honestly, all she wanted to do was sleep. Her life wasn't so messed up then, she wasn't so messed up then.

"You'll be okay. It wasn't life threatening. Um, they'll probably give you some medication, but they gave you x-rays and stuff earlier." Serenity explained, trying to sound thorough but failing at it.

"We called Yugi, but he wasn't home." Serenity said, also feeling the awkwardness of the room.

"Yeah, he's probably busy." Mai concluded as she took a deep sigh. Somewhere, deep down, she knew she could never be ok.

"Kaiba? Have you found anything?" Yugi asked as they drove down the highway faster than Yugi would have dared.

Kaiba nodded vigorously. He knew about the accident, after all, it was all over the news. The road had been cleared, but the guard rail wasn't fixed yet.

They pulled over to the side of the road and it was sheer luck that Yugi had a car. Sure it was a Volkswagen Beetle, but it was still a good vehicle. He liked the fact that after such a hectic life, he could be almost invisible to anybody around him. Yugi could never see Kaiba or Mai in such a car though.

They got out and started to descend into the forest.

"Where are we going?" Yugi asked. He wanted to know. After all, this wasn't normal. He followed Kaiba anyway, somewhat afraid of the man doing something crazy.

"Look." Kaiba said as he pulled a tree branch that was blocking Yugi's view.

The small amount of light from the sun setting was being blocked from the tops of the trees. All that was left was the shadow that covered the ground.

Yugi could feel his jaw drop from his mouth in horror.

"Isn't that Mai's car?" he asked somewhat unsure of himself. He thought he saw her in it, but secretly hoped he was wrong.

The car was smashed and it was just balancing on a tree it had knocked over. Slowly, before he even realized it, his feet were walking toward the mess.

Glass was all over the ground and it was colored red as if somebody had painted it. Yugi felt differently.

He gazed into the car, or what was left of it, and saw that the inside was also damaged. The doors were pushed in and glass sat everywhere.

"How'd you know about this?" Yugi asked flatly. His voice was shaky and different visions ran through his head.

"They found a KaibaCorp helicopter blown away. Witnesses said it was attacking the car. I calculated the blast. The cars, they said, were also mine. Well they claimed." he explained.

Yugi, who had been trying to pull the door open, glared at him.

"Were they yours?" he asked.

"No.'' Kaiba answered quite seriously. Yugi only stared, Kaiba's eyes seemed to be penetrating his own.

Luckily the rain had stopped sometime ago, or they would both be soaked by now.

"I can't get this door open." Yugi said after some time. Kaiba didn't answer.

"Want to help me?" Yugi asked, as if he was trying to get some response from Kaiba.

Only Kaiba wasn't looking at him. His gaze was fixated on the ground. The fact that he stood there quite still for a long time bothered Yugi.

After sometime, Kaiba kneeled to the ground and wiped away some somewhat damp dirt from the ground. Ignoring the worm that slithered over his hand, he kept digging. Something shiny had caught his eye.

A few seconds later he reached the object. It was a cell phone, at least half of it. The other half was near it, but they were split apart.

The screen was cracked and Kaiba assumed somebody stepped on it. Her name was displayed on the back in jewels, but some were missing.

"This was her cellphone." Kaiba said after what seemed like centuries to Yugi.

"Are you sure?" he asked. For some reason the hopelessness in his voice almost made Kaiba want to lie. It almost made him want to ignore the whole ordeal and pretend that Mokuba was sitting at home eagerly awaiting his arrival.

That, unfortunately, was a lie . . . and he couldn't keep living a lie.

"Yeah." Kaiba answered roughly. His voice sounded hoarse, but he would never admit to it.

His eyes happened to meet Yugi and an unspoken grief had filled the forest.

Serenity had fallen asleep on the other side of the room. She was curled up in a chair and was snoring softly. They had been there for a long time, and nobody objected to the idea.

The only sound in the room was her snoring and the low hum of the machines. Other words there was complete silence, although Joey could have sworn he heard his heart beat rather loudly.

The silence wasn't one of understanding or awkwardness. It was the type of silence one experiences when they meet a new person for the first time and doubt usually fills the air.

"Do you have my phone?" Mai asked. She had been preparing herself throughout the whole time to talk to him. Fear, anxiety, pain and guilt all clouded her mind and it made her stay silent.

"No, it broke." he responded in a low voice. He knew that it cracked but he was past the point of caring. He saw her nod from the corner of his eye, but made no effort to continue the conversation. The low hums of the machine were rather soothing to him, and helped him not to think.

If he started thinking or feeling for that matter, he couldn't guarantee what would happen. He did predict crying though.

The ticking of the clock had also become unreasonably louder. Each time the small red hand moved, Mai's heart beat louder. She was convinced that everyone had to have heard it, but then she realized the foolish thought and bitterly laughed.

She could be so stupid.

Upon thinking of that, she could feel her throat start to close and her eyes weld up with tears.

Joey looked at her with concern. At one time he would have told it was okay to cry, but not now. He couldn't handle it. The old Mai Valentine didn't cry and sometimes he just wanted her back. Sure she might have been a smartass, but . . . it was a hopeless thought altogether and Joey knew it.

"You know what I have to do." Mai said in a low voice. Joey just nodded automatically.

"I can't let you." he replied. Her head turned quickly to him in a manner of rage.

"No, I guess you can't. To bad I won't listen." she responded. She was putting all her energy toward getting off the small bed. Luckily she achieved it so that her legs could hang over the side and so that she could sit.

She was still hooked up to some machines, and what they did were foreign to her. Glancing down at the needles in her arm, she gasped.

"Mai, don't be stupid." Joey said sadly as he sat beside her on the bed.

"Little late for that." she answered with a heartfelt sigh. He avoided her gaze. He couldn't look at her.

"I have to fix the mess I made." she added.

"You can't." Joey answered. It was true. She couldn't bring someone back from the dead. She couldn't give Kaiba his pride or his perfect reputation back either. She could give him Mokuba and that had to mean something.

"I have to find Mokuba. I've got too." Mai said as she closed her eyes and pulled the needles out of her arm. She quickly placed some gauze that was laying on the bedside table over it . Luckily there was a big enough bandage there to wrap around the gauze.

"It's too dangerous, look at what Kaiba did to you." Joey said in an angry voice. She couldn't risk her life again. He wouldn't let her.

"What are you going to do about it? Huh Joey? What can you possibly do?" she quipped back, her voice drenched in sarcasm.

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself because you want to make something up to Kaiba." he replied, agitated. Mai rolled her eyes.

"This isn't about Kaiba. This isn't about Mokuba. This is bigger. Somebody died because of me . . . this is about every little thing I've ever done. Think about all of the lives I destroyed. I need to fix it, as best as I can. Because I won't be able to live with myself . . . especially after . . . this is about what's right. It's the right thing to do. You've got to have faith in me Joey, because if you don't, nobody will." she said, her voice was quivering more with each word and tears that she thought had gone away dared to come back.

"I know you did do a lot of damage. But I won't let you do this, not now." he responded, in his previous low voice. Mai made a huffing sound.

"I can't believe you don't get this. It's like one of those macho things. There is no other way. I have to find Kaiba and then rescue Mokuba." she replied but for some reason she was laughing. Basically because she was explaining to Joey the one thing he always did . . . selflessly help people and now it was her turn.

Joey sighed in frustration. She wasn't listening. She was having a hard time sitting up and was obvious by her shaking.

Yet Joey did know, he did understand.

"I'll come with you. It's too dangerous for you by yourself." he said, finally giving in to her. Her mood didn't change and she answered him with a no.

"Mai, it's dangerous. You can't keep doing these things by yourself. You won't admit it, but you need help." he replied, his voice became shaky. Joey Wheeler hardly ever pleaded for anything, but Mai was different. She always was, probably always will be.

Mai only looked at him. For once, she looked older than she was. Even with mascara running down her face she was still beautiful, but something was different. Her eyes were unreadable and that only bothered Joey, for he knew whatever it was that she was about to say he wouldn't like. Mai only looked away from him and decided to study the off blue color of the tile floor.

"Joey. In life, there are things you have to do by yourself. This is one of those things. I can't let you get in the way of that. You're right. It'll probably be dangerous. Who knows what will happen . . . I don't. But I've got to have something, maybe it is faith, that somebody somewhere will make it turn out okay. I don't know that though . . . And I can't risk you, not now, not ever. You've come so far since the Duelist Kingdom days. See that girl sleeping there, that is what you fought for . . . you've got family Joey. You have a sister and a wonderful yet slightly odd woman who is in love with you. You can't desert them for me. I can't let you throw away your friends and family to come with me. I won't let you make that mistake." she said. A few tears fell from her eyes, but she didn't care.

Joey wanted to argue, he wanted to call a doctor in and make them put her to sleep. He wanted to wake up and realize the past few years were a bad dream. There were a lot of things he wanted to do, but didn't.

He only nodded and watched her push herself up and start to walk out the door, in the same bloodied outfit she arrived in.

"Mai . . . if you need me,'' he started to say, but she only glanced at him.

"I won't." she answered as she turned her back on him.

"I might call anyway." she yelled back into the room before walking out.

Joey sat in silence for a moment, feeling completely drained of emotion. That didn't stop him though as he dashed out of the room. He followed Mai out of the office where she just signed her release papers. Something in him wouldn't let her leave like that. He had to have the last word. He had to let her know . . .

"Wait." he called. Mai stopped, somewhat glad for the distraction. She knew she couldn't let him know that though.

"Do you like making this hard on me?" she asked. Joey grabbed her arm and took a deep breath.

"No. But Mai I've gotta tell you, this is crazy. But I believe in ya. I know you can do it. But Mai you've got to know by now. You are my friend and you always will be. You could push me off of the nearest bridge and I'd still swim right back up if I knew you needed me. Yugi, Tristan . . . they were always my closest friends . . . but what we have is different. Nobody else will ever get it and I don't want them too. You, Mai, are my best friend and I love you. I just thought you should know, even if you don't get it right away, I want you to know." he said. His voice was full of raw emotion.

Mai only nodded and took a deep gulp. Joey let go of her arm and walked toward her previous room.

"Thanks Joey, I get it." she called back without glancing.

Mai knew that if she stopped thinking, or moving, for a second she'd collapse. She knew that if that happened, that the chance of her completing her mission was hopeless.

That's why reality constantly fluttered around her mind and she didn't push it away. At least somebody believed in her.

Her paces were quick but heavy only because of her state of mind and the seriousness of the ordeal.

Upon arriving at the doors, Mai saw somebody entering them.

It turned out to be two men who were shocked at the sight of her.

"Mai?" Yugi asked, for he happened to be one of the two. Mai only nodded, but her gaze wasn't directed toward Yugi at all.

"Are you okay? What happened? No offense, but you look awful." Yugi rambled. Mai closed her eyes for a few seconds, the pain she was feeling was started to bother her.

Unknowingly she touched her hair and felt the dirt that was caked in it. She also saw the dark brown substance. Her blood dried.

Touching the side of her face, she saw the mascara and dirt come off on her hand. She had to agree with Yugi. She did indeed look terrible.

Again she didn't answer him.

"Can you talk Mai?" Yugi asked, he was concerned for her. It seemed like she was empty, as if she was completely numb and the touch of anybody could knock her over onto the tiled floor.

"I know what you did." Kaiba said, his voice harsh and cold. Yugi had heard this particular tone of Kaiba's voice, but that was long ago in their professional dueling days. Now they only dueled because Kaiba was somewhat obsessive over the subject of defeating Yugi.

Mai's eyes only looked at him curiously, but she remained still. She looked like an antique doll to Yugi. It made him think of a little girl throwing her into the dirt and then spilling red fingernail polish on her.

"You are going to pay." Kaiba said, everyone knew that fact, so it wasn't a surprise.

"That won't help you now." she answered to Yugi's surprise. Her voice was brittle and somewhat broken.

"You telling me what I need to know will." Kaiba replied rather smartly. Mai only gave a bitter laugh.

"Or you'll attack me with your helicopter again?" she asked sarcastically. Kaiba only glared at her.

"That wasn't me, I didn't authorize that. You are the one who stole KaibaCorp from me." he replied. Something automatically sparked in Mai's eyes.

"That means that . . . " she whispered to herself. She clasped her hand over her mouth in shock. Kaiba rolled his eyes at her antics, he didn't have time for this.

"This is all your fault anyway." Kaiba added. Mai only shook her head. Somewhere, something in her clicked. Kaiba was right, he couldn't have issued the attack on her because the vehicles weren't his. They, were hers and Valons.

Somehow the thought of that made her feel worse, and she felt herself leaning against the wall for support.

"I'll help you." she said as she bit her lip. She had to push herself up and it was a difficult task.

"I don't want your help." Kaiba replied bitterly.

"No, but you'll need it.'' she answered quietly, and both of them knew it.

"If anything happens Valentine, your life is on the line, you know that right?" Kaiba asked, and he was very serious.

"I know." she answered simply. Her biggest problem right now was the physical pain she was feeling, but she wouldn't let that get in her way.

"And you're okay with that?" Kaiba asked, but it wasn't to be frightening. It was mostly out of curiosity. He could hardly believe that the pitiful woman in front of him caused everything.

"That's the way it should be." Mai replied confidently as she pushed herself off the wall.

"Let's find my brother." Kaiba replied quietly.

They had to, because if they couldn't, Kaiba would be lost.