5animefan- Oh, thanks so much. I was afraid that it might be filler, so yay for it not being one! I agree, Mai needs to live her life and deal with her problems, and she will . . . of course not in the way that most will think of. . . duh duh duh
Growing Pain- I'm always over dramatic so it's all good! See I always thought that Yugi was smart, Yami or no Yami. Others might not feel the way I do, I guess, but I think Yugi has seen enough of this sort of situation and now he knows what to do. I also always saw Joey and Kaiba as rivals that hate each other . . . but deep down the can really tolerate each other. Besides, Joey has a missing sister . . . and a 'best friend' missing . . . he's got so many problems on his hands, so Kaiba wasn't his biggestworry at the time. It was good that they let some steam off on each other though.
Doma Yuset- In times of desperation, fear and complete confusion . . . we all need a Yoda. Yes that is all I have to say (lol)
Reanne102- I must say I'm so glad that you stumbled upon the story! I really appreciate your comments . . . and the fact that you couldn't stop reading it. It cheers me up! I can't guarantee a pairing right now . . . okay I can . . . but I like to make everyone wait.
Cherryopsicle- Don't choke! Wait until the story is over . . . actually, don't choke at all, but you get my meaning! lol! You'll find out about the picture shortly!
Disclaimer: YGO or Papa Roach's Scar isn't mine ( I usually don't post the whole song, but the lyrics are so appropriate that it would be a shame not too)
Notes: I was reading my previous draft of this story and was surprised to see how different this story turned out. The original was based on a Mai Joey Seto love triangle . . . and that was the whole thing. Man did that get changed around . . . my ideas changed and my muses shifted. Yet at the same time, I'm glad they did.
"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
All I can say is tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
All I can say is tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
All I can say is tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel" Scars- Papa Roach
The wind blew softly. She didn't mind it much though, no it wasn't a bother to her. It blew warm air toward her . . . pushing the coldness of the crisp air away.
She didn't understand how an island with long beaches, palm trees, andlush forestscould be so cold.
She figured it was the time of day. It was almost dusk, but not exactly. The sun only was beginning to descend into the clouds.
Itshot pink ,blue ,orange and purple across the sky and she half-wished that she could paint it. She knew it was a sight that few artists dream of.
The rolling ocean underneath matched in beauty. It seemed to be a glittery mess of blue, silver, and gray. It went on forever, at least in her opinion. Each wave that met the shore was perfectly white as if it was snow . . . which made her almost smile.
She hadn't seen snow in a while, so she pretended it was.
After the water left the shore it seemed to return to the ocean, leaving dark brown marks along the beach.
She leaned against the rail, feeling the cold metal against her arms.
Her long hair blew all over in the wind, but never in her face. It was weird to her, but she ignored it.
Upon gazing at the view, she didn't hear the footsteps behind her.
"Hey.'' the man said as he stood beside her, somewhat hesitant.
She didn't answer, only continued to stare out at the sight in front of her. He cleared his throat, several times . . . hoping to get her attention. After the eighth time, she turned to him.
"Do you need a cough drop or something?" she asked, rather annoyed at somebody interrupting her alone time.
"No . . . I uh just wanted to make sure that you were okay. You've been kind of out of it." he explained. She rolled her eyes and returned hergaze to her previous subject.
He tapped his foot against the floor, waiting for her to respond. He stared at the marble texture that the floor was made out of. The thought of using that for an outside porch confused him.
He slowly tried to figure out how much he could sell marble on the streets while he waited.
After a few silent moments she sighed and looked at him.
"You're not leaving, are you?" she asked, full of anger. She wanted to be alone, and he was just crowding her.
"No, I'm not. You've just been different since . . . I just wanted to make sure you were okay." he said, hoping that he sounded sincere and concerned. She glared and started to walk away from him.
"Mai, wait!" he called as he chased after her. She could walk quite fast and so he had to practically jog.
She stopped as he approached and bit her lip.
"I'm fine . . ." she said. He nodded and threw his hands up in defeat. Chasing her was useless and he figured she'd catch up to him when she was ready.
"I do . . . feel different, if you must know." she responded as he started to walk away. Turning on his heel, he asked the simple question of how.
She shrugged and leaned against another rail. He mimicked her.
"I'm not sure . . . confident maybe . . .um . . . more powerful. I've never felt this powerful in my life." she said sounding rather happy about the situation. He only stared at her in amusement.
"I think you're very powerful Mai." he responded. She shrugged in response.
"You still defeated me Valon." she whispered as if it settled the matter. He opened his mouth as if he was going to respond, but she cut him off.
"I was desperate . . . only a select few have beaten me. Understand that . . . I'm good. Now, I'm better. You . . . you will never see me like that again. I promise you . . . I was at the end of my rope. You helped me out . . . or whatever. That's it, so you can quit trying to make up lame excuses to talk to me. I don't want to talk to you."
Something in her voice made Valon doubt that, and against his brain, he continued his conversation.
"We all get desperate Mai. So I caught you at a bad time . . . it happens." he replied casually. She stomped her foot and squeezed on the rail.
"You don't get it. I'm never like that . . . afraid like that. I'm Mai Valentine and I don't lose. Not anymore . . . not again. I will beat you sometime Valon . . . believe that. But you are not who my target is now." she said in such a sinister voice that the birds that were nearby by flew away in a hurry. She didn't notice.
"Mai, if you tell me what happened . . . I can help you. I can take care of whoever hurt you." he said, looking straight into her eyes. She looked away quickly and shook her head.
"You aren't my friend Valon. I don't have friends . . . and I don't need them." she snapped back bitterly. He sighed then and frowned.
"I'm trying to be your friend, you just won't let me. I understand now, you've got the whole cute taking on the world thing . . . I respect that, I do. But you've got to let someone close or you'll just destroy yourself. Look at what I gave you . . . what would have happened to you if I didn't find you. What . . . you had noone else . . . they didn't want you Mai. I'm telling you right now that I do . . . but you won't let me." Valon said bitterly.
Mai didn't budge in the slightest. She didn't blink or retaliate.
"I don't know . . . what would have happened." she said after sometime. Valon took a deep breath and held back his urge to yell. All he wanted to do was help her . . . because somehow he felt for her. It was a feeling so confusing and so strong that nobody else could understand it . . . not even her.
"I want to help you. I already have and you know it . . . you feel it. I gave you what you always desired, ultimate power. I'll give you time Mai. I can do that. I'll give you space . . . I'll give you whatever it is you want, but you've got to give me something . . . some sign . . . a name . . . anything." he said someone desperately.
Mai leaned against the rail for a while, not even acknowledging his presence.
"I'll give you a name. But that's it. I don't want you interfering either . . . I need to do this by myself." she said determinedly, moving her body so that she was standing directly in front of him instead of beside him.
"Ok." he conceded. He knew some names, after all Dartz had to give him some of her background . . . but he knew that there had to be one person that drove her crazy. There had to be one person who tore the color away from herand stole her spirit.
"Joey Wheeler." she said as coldly as she could. Valon nodded.
"Look see, wasn't so bad, was it? And think, when you defeat him . . . you'll be free of all the pain you feel. I promise you that. Then you'll have no excuse to not be friends with me, because I promise you that I won't hurt you. Not like that . . . I'm a real friend." he said.
"Maybe when I beat him . . . maybe." she replied and he nodded and walked away. She wanted to slap the smile off his face . . . but she made no attempt to move and watched the calmness of the ocean again.
Life had gone fast after that. Several days after, she was sent to attack Pegasus and her personal mission to defeat Joey Wheeler had begun.
Unfortunately, the memory of how that event turned out haunts not only her dreams, but her waking moments too.
For sometimes when he's talking to her . . . she just sees him fall . . .
She always double blinks when she talks to him too, just to adjust her vision.
That is not why she's there though. No, this battle goes far beyond the mess that is Joey Wheeler. He is, of course, involved . . . but she already suspected that.
The fact that Yugi and Joey haven't beaten up the guards and come to help her, surprised her.
Not that she needed help, no Mai Valentine was a perfectionist at being a loner. She could do this by herself, basically because she had too.
Running her hands up and down her arms, she started to walk up the steps in a very slow motion. Every few floors she saw guards staring at her.
Mai's only wish at the moment was for heat, but she found the coldness much more dramatic. The fact that she had to walk added to the experience too.
Part of her wondered if James convinced Valon to disconnect the elevators. James always had a flair for trying to freak people out. In her opinion, James should have teamed up with Marik.
That would have been a crazy team . . . the thought makes her chuckle and yet want to throw-up at the same time.
Mai sighed at the sight of the steps . . . they seemed to go on forever . . . all she wants to do is make it to the roof.
She's surprised at the lack of difficulty at the task. She thought she'd have to fight her way through dumb, yet tough, security guards. Instead she is only met by menacing glares and growls.
Mental warfare suits her though, and she just ignored all of it.
He closed his eyes and counted. It was what he often did, and nobody else would really ever understand that.
He'd breath in, then breath out . . . while counting each precious breath for he never knew when it would be his last.
He preferred the blindfolds actually. Sure, it sounded crazy, but he'd rather see the blackness than what he saw now.
He was in and out of consciousness and Serenity had stopped trying to talk to him several minutes ago. He knew she wasn't used to being kidnaped . . . or beaten.
It comes in time though, as does giving up.
Mokuba Kaiba was never known for giving up. No, he always had hope if nothing else. He had a faith in his brother that could never be broken.
Except that, after years of these situations . . . strange thoughts started to run through his head.
Especially when he knows he's been missing for quite a while now.
Mokuba has a safe bet going that he won't make it out of this situation. He's had nothing to eat for the past few days, and he's only been given moldy water to drink.
He threw most of it up.
The fact that his is tied against some sort of pole overlooking the bottom of a huge building doesn't make him any happier.
Yet it's almost kind of ironic that it would be the KaibaCorp building he would die on. Mokuba always toldKaiba the building would kill him, after all, all his brother did was work.
Mokuba always thought that working consistently without stopping would be horrible for anybody's health. No, he was the one going to die on the same roof that he used to love standing on so many days ago.
He could turn his head just a little bit to the left. He watched Valon pace back and forth, muttering to himself.
He can't see Serenity, nor can he hear her, for her voice seemed to have faded into the wind. He only does the one thing he can, hope.
Unfortunately, he's failing at it.
She can see a doorway that leads to the roof a stairwell ahead of her. Half of her wants to run to it as fast as she can, while the other wants to fall over and quit.
The pain in her side is excruciating and she wonders if the life is being drained out of her. She wanted to place her hand over her side to feel if there is blood there, but yet she doesn't.
Taking a deep breath, she leaned against the nearest wall. Everything seems to be spinning around her, but she can't give up.
She knows that.
That doesn't change the fact that her body won't let her move.
She knows she doesn't have time to waste, but movement is becoming harder for her. Besides, Yugi always seemed to have time to constantly explain the problem before saving the day.
So her taking five minutes off shouldn't hurt.
Light footsteps approached her bent over form, but she didn't move. No, a small laugh escapes her mouth. For that is all she can do now, is laugh.
"You look terrible." the man says. Again, she laughs. Tell her something she didn't already know.
"You should give up. That is what you're good at." he says, coming closer to her.
"Mai, this isn't for you. Give up, go back." he whispers now. Mai bit her lip, as hard as she could, just to make herself feel something other than the numbness that sometimes comes after horrible pain.
It was bleeding slightly and it flowed into her mouth, but she didn't care.
"Can't do that." was her feeble response. He kicked the back of her leg, and he's quite surprised that she didn't fall over.
"You love dramatics, don't you Mai. I always knew you'd never go through with it. You never had the guts, or the power. . . " he started to say, but he found himself caught off guard when Mai pushed herself off of the wall and kicked him so that he was huddled on the floor.
"I've always had the power James. You haven't. You're just a pawn . . . a useless pawn . . . who got a little taste of power. Do you know what it really tastes like? Do you want to? I can show you." she replied cruelly as he tried to pull himself up.
It wasn't that she kicked him that hard, it was just the tone of her voice was like a icy cold liquid that numbed him.
He was more powerful than her, at least he always believed that. He tried to push himself up, but Mai wasn't going to accept that.
Instead, she pulled something out of her pocket and pointed it at him. Her smile had grown and he was now the one scaredon thefloor.
"Tell me James, who has the power?" her cold voice asked him. The gun was only inches away from him, and he was too desperate to move.
"You do."
It was decided, amongst all of them and after some time, to go to Kaiba Corp. No real plan was formulated though, and Joey had said that they were to wing it.
Of course, risking their lives for others was nothing new to them, except for Abby. It took some extra coxing to convince her to help, but she did anyway.
Kaiba, who usually argued with Joey, had become unusually silent. He only gave a few nods here and there, but other than that he seemed rather mechanical.
Even Yugi's constant assurance didn't penetrate him. It was if Yugi's words meant nothing. Something was going to happen, and he didn't know what.
His doubts bothered him. He was scared. Not for himself, no he had passed that stage. He was scared for his brother.
His brother was his life . . . and he could die.
He knew that Joey was afraid for his sister. Yet, he didn't know how much Joey was afraid. He figured that Joey wore his heart on his sleeve, but that was it.
He wondered if Joey's feelings ran deeper than that, much like his own. Not that Kaiba enjoyed thinking of ways Joey and himself were similar, but it kind of helped that there was at least someone that could understand the intensity of the situation.
They all silently squished into the small car, so that there wasn't any breathing room, but they somehow managed.
The car ride there was filled with Kaiba talking about the layout of his building and certain passwords and such things that only they found important. Of course, when this was all over, he told himself that everything would have to be changed immediately.
When they arrived, they all saw the Viper parked perfectly. It was rather amusing that with everything going on, that a main concern was perfectly parking the vehicle.
"Okay, I really think we should stay together." Tea suggested while fear flooded her voice. Tristan gave a hearty nod in agreement.
"Are we too late?" Duke asked. Yugi noticed the guards and mouthed the word no.
Kaiba however, wasn't paying attention to them. Instead, his focus was a dark figure on top of the roof.
The others had started to walk off without him, and he finally noticed. The guards were easily taken care of by Tristan with a few swings of his fist.
Upon entering though, that was different.
The once empty room that Mai had found herself was now filled with guards dressed in black. A huge fight broke out and Tea and Abby had rushed off to a secret passageway that Kaiba had told them about.
Kaiba himself, dodged in between the fighting without anyone noticing. He ran up the stairs, unfazed by the guards that were dashing down them.
Instead, he followed the sound of crying, just in case it was his brother.
Instead he found something quiet different.
Mai was standing over a quivering man who seemed to be begging for his life.
"Mai." Kaiba called, as if he was trying to pull her out of a trance. He saw her shoulders drop and she let a sigh escape her lips. She didn't look at him though.
"Kaiba." she replied in a singsong voice. Kaiba looked at her shockingly.
"He's not worth it." Kaiba said through gritted teeth. Mai laughed.
"Isn't he? He was one of the ones who helped capture your brother. He's just been telling me all about it while at gunpoint. Fascinating story really." Mai responded.
The man only let his fresh tears fall into a new puddle on the carpet.
Kaiba didn't answer, he only turned his head while the gun was fired.
The sound went through Kaiba'smind and for some reason he flinched. He didn't know why, but he did. The man, to his surprise, was not dead.
He was crying harder than ever.
"I wasn't going to kill him." Mai said as she put the gun away and looked at Kaiba. Some of James blood had splattered onto her, but she didn't notice.
"Just hurt him a little." she elaborated as she shook her head toward the hole in his shoulder.
"Why are you here?" she asked, annoyed.
"You knocked me out." Kaiba said, as if that was a answer. Mai shrugged.
"I'll do it again." was her careless response.
"I came to help my brother." Kaiba added. Mai nodded.
"I've got this. Go help the others, they need it . . . don't ask me how I know you're not alone. I just do. They're probably looking for you as we speak. But if I'm not back in half and hour . . . then come up . . . if you have too." she instructed.
Kaiba usually wasn't one to take orders from anybody, but right then at that point he nodded. He was staring at Mai with a different type of light.
Somewhere deep inside of him, he felt she could pull this off. Hethought she could do it. . . but he was ready to take over when she fell.
She had an unusual aura around her, one that she didn't have since Battle City.
"Half an hour . . . that's all you get Valentine. I'm trusting you, don't prove me wrong." was his only sullen response as he dashed down the stairs to the others. Mai quietly thanked him as she turned around and marched up the stairs to face what she hoped wasn't her doom.
She stretched her hand to the door, feeling the coldness of it. This was it, there was no turning back from it now. She felt for the doorknob, disturbed from the sudden darkness. She found it and swung the door open forcefully and shut it quietly behind her.
She walked toward the center of the roof in complete darkness. Suddenly lights flashed and everything was covered in a eerie yellow.
There were lights at ever corner of the roof, and in-between the corners.
She glanced over and saw two poles hanging over the side. They were a good distance away from each other, but she could plainly see what was tied to them.
It was Mokuba and Serenity, tied up and apparently knocked out. It took everything she had not to run over to them, to free them . . . but her feet stayed rooted to the spot, for he was in plain sight now.
He was breathing harder and a darkness seemed to fill him so that his eyes were black. She quickly wondered if that is what Joey saw when he looked at her, but pushed the question in the back of her mind.
"So you came." was all that he said. His voice seemed deeper than usual, but it still held his unmistakable accent, the one so many girls feel in love with.
"You know me Valon, I can't back away from a challenge." she responded. He gave a very small laugh and looked down at the ground.
For some reason, she knew what he wanted . . . what he called her up here for.
"What's in it for you? We both know that you never do anything unless something's in it for you. Do you honestly think saving those two kids will clear your record?" Valon asked.
Mai shook her head.
"No . . . my record is stained. We know that. . . but I can't change that now. All I can do is make it better." Mai explained.
"I think you're lying . . . " Valon practically sang. Mai shook her head again.
"No, no lie." was her simple retort.
"Why do it? Why go through these power struggles? Just pick a side Mai . . . just pick one. You know you'll be back later." Valon coaxed. Mai rolled her eyes.
"I'm done with it, this time . . . I'm serious." was her response.
"I've heard you say that so many times Mai. . . and yet you always waver. You always choose the side that works for you. Playing for your own team right? Isn't that what you do? You don't care how many hearts you step on on the way . . . " Valon said before he could control it.
"We haven't had hearts for a long time sweetheart . . . all we've had was each other and some very good alcohol, but that's over now. I guarantee it. . . you don't know me anymore Valon. But finally, after all this time, I know me. I'm screwed up and I need help, but I know me." she said with such raw emotion to her voice that Valon had to blink a few times.
"Who are you?" he asked out of curiosity.
"I am the one and only Mai Valentine. I did some things, most I'm not proud of . . . but that doesn't matter now. You used me, several times . . . I get that. I get you and I can help you." she replied rather desperately. Valon laughed.
"Help me? How are you going to help me? You can't even help yourself? You know we could be thousands of miles away from here on some warm beach and instead you went all noble." Valon spat out madly.
"We already did that Valon . . . living on a huge island with long beaches. And I remember looking into the sky dying to feel some warmth from the sun but feeling nothing. . . like something was missing. . . and it was. It still would be . . . it still is." she explained, breaths coming far and in between words.
"What? What could you possibly be missing?" Valon asked. Mai shook her head.
"I don't know yet. Someday I will though . . . but not now." she answered, " Now are you going to release them and let me help you? We can walk away from this Valon.'' she coaxed.
"You can't help me Mai . . . you're words are, they're tempting, but they're lies. I couldn't help you, not like I wanted too, you wouldn't let me . . . and when you did I failed. We can't help each other Mai." he stated. Mai shook her head.
"Yes, we could . . . but you won't let me. We started this thing together, and now we'll end it." she yelled at him.
"That we did, are you ready for the deal now?" Valon asked, he decided to change the subject in case he did give into her. Mai shook her head and pulled out her gun. Valon was shocked for half a second before regaining himself.
"Yeah and here is how it's going to go. We duel, if I win . . . you let them go and you let me help you. If you win . . . then you'll get what you wanted for a while. No, not power . . . but you'll get me. Utterly, completely. I won't sway and nobody else will ever get me. I'll always be on your side forever more . . . because if you win, you get to kill me." she said in a business like matter and it showed that rising to power was quite easy for her.
"Why would . . . I can't . . . " Valon started to say, but Mai raised an eyebrow.
"Are you scared? Don't you want me? Because if you don't do it . . . I will." she said, holding the gun up to her head.
"Stop . . . I'll do it." he called out suddenly. She smiled.
She played a twisted game, he knew it. She was as twisted as he was.
Valon, who was prepared for a duel, threw a dueldisk at her. She caught it in midair.
Mai pulled out her old cards with the bent edges and placed them on the dueldisk.
He didn't exactly care for the terms, but he was going to do it. Mai was right, she was giving him what he wanted, even if it was tainted.
That's what he gave her, right? Power . . . fueled by rage and jealously, but power nonetheless. No, it didn't matter if it was tainted, they saw past that.
Nobody else could understand the speciality of the dangerous game they played. Dartz may be gone, but his influence still remained.
Valon looked at Mai and he can see the determinedness in her eyes. He has always hated himself for taking the color away from her.
Now he will permanently . . . but she will be his. That's what he wanted.
She won't beat him, no . . . he can't see that happening.
They are to consumed by power and control to let this game become one-sided. Mai is in for the duel of her life, and he knows it . . . he found himself prepared for it.
Mai is taking deep breaths and he knows that she is in a lot of pain. He wanted to feel sorrow, but the only feelings in him are power, rage, lust and a small tinge of sadness.
"Time to duel." Mai said and it seemed to him rather far away. Her voice had regained some sort of unknown strength that she had never used against him. He nodded and strapped the duel disk on himself, amused by the familiarity that flooded him.
The insane desire to win had overcome him fully now, and he was ready.
Mai on the other hand, was trying her hardest not to succumb to the pain that she felt. No, if she had to go, this is the way she'd want it to happen.
Risking her life for others that are much more important than herself . . . yeah, she could be proud of that. Pride was a feeling that she hadn't really felt since that fatefully day when Joey beat her and figured out her perfume secret.
A small smile crossed her face. Valon had started their whole relationship, for a lack of words, by dueling. She knew that he cornered her at the worst time possible then, but now things were different. She was stronger than ever, because she had a purpose.
If she did lose, then she would die . . . it was simple enough, in her opinion. The others would rush up the stairs to find her body and to save Mokuba and Serenity. She would at least buy them some time.
If she won, they were saved and maybe Valon could be saved too. Yet looking at him across the rooftop, somewhere deep inside Mai thought it was too late to save him.
She felt that way about herself sometimes too. She had dabbled into evil so much that it was hard for her to stay away from it. The power called her and she was addicted.
Not even the best of people can walk away from that. Mai would like to be the first, but she knows its impossible.
All she knows is that if she had to die tonight . . . she wouldn't want to die any other way. At one point, all she had was Valon and even though she didn't admit it . . . she would have been lost without him . . . and at that point of such desperation and loathing she had loved him.
It was indeed tainted by the evilness that they shared, but she did love him. He was always there to back her up or to protect her. She never really acted on the feeling, after all her mind was always elsewhere. He knew that . . .
But that was ages ago, and Mai seemed to have changed again. She wasn't being controlled by an ancient force, and for the first time in a while, she wasn't controlled by anyone. It was a hard idea for her to grasp, but she did anyway.
Did she love Valon anymore? No, she didn't. He was in her past and he should have stayed there. Of course, when they were living together . . . she did feel more than friendship . . . but that was months ago.
Ever since he betrayed her and his cloud of perfection was lifted over her eyes, she quit. Cold turkey.
She now felt for him, because she believes she's the only one who knows what he feels like. But she doesn't love him and never will again. That's not who she is anymore.
No, she's someone greater than that . . . even if she is screwed up and in desperate need of help. Mai feels for Valon but she isn't sure what the feeling is.
It's strange and confusing, but it's a feeling the two can only share. There aren't any words to describe it and Mai doubts she'll ever want to think of words too.
It's a power in itself, dark and mysterious, but she preferred it that way.
If she beat him tonight, she would finally defeat a part of herself that has been beginning for darker things. Mai's wanted to do that for a long time.
She gave Valon a small little smile and stood up straighter. Maybe she's a glutton for punishment . . . maybe she's brave or crazy . . . but whatever she is, Valon has indirectly taught her that she has to face up to it.
Unbeknownst to her, in a few rooms below, a clock on a forgotten laptop continues to countdown.