A/N: This chapter will sidetrack a little, but I'll get back to the main storyline.
Disclaimer: Still not owning Calvin and Hobbes…
Freedom of the Press
In Calvin's treehouse…
"First Tiger Hobbes, we must successfully eradicate the enemy, the Tree-Huggers' Club." Calvin explained to Hobbes.
"How?" Hobbes asked.
"We must bombard them with water balloons!"
A little while later…
Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in their treehouse. Calvin was now thoroughly soaked.
"OK…we must bombard Susie, but this time, you'll do it!" Calvin said to Hobbes.
A little while later…
Calvin was twice as soaked as before. Hobbes was whistling.
"Maybe we should stop bombarding people." Calvin sighed.
"Good idea. There's that saying 'The pen is more powerful than the sword' or something like that."
"Hobbes, that's a great idea! We can write about the problem tree hugging causes."
The next day…
Tree bark may cause major scratches when hugged
was the headline.
Next to it was a picture of Calvin, who Hobbes had lightly clawed (Hobbes had enjoyed that, since Calvin had asked for it).
The Tree-Huggers' Club had already started to dissolve.
"I knew I felt pain when I hugged that Maple!" said one member.
"But there are always birch trees!" Susie pointed out. "They have smooth trunks!"
The other kids just left her, throwing their signs away.
"NOOOOOO!"
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"OK, Hobbes, embarrassing Susie was a success. Next Person: Ronald."
"Who gets the camera?"
"You do. OK, He's not a girl, so we won't need-wait a minute, is he a girl?"
Hobbes started rolling on the ground, laughing.
"I take that as an insult…and a no, fuzzbrain."
"It is a no."
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Soon, Calvin and Hobbes appeared to be wearing Anti-Cootie equipment, except it had "Anti-Nerd Equipment" markered on it.
Hobbes sighed.