Disclaimer: I will never own Calvin and Hobbes, only when I dream…and then I wake up.

Reviews: Keep 'em coming and I'll make more chapters.

Freedom of the Press

"Our next target is…Ronald…Ronald…Ronald." came the voice.

"Hobbes, wake up!" Calvin yelled.

"Wah?" Hobbes said sleepily.

"We've got to get the poop on Ronald!"

"We're going to poop on Ronald?"

"No! We'll get the dirt on him!"

"We're going to bury him? Is that legal?"

"AARGH! What that means is we're going to find out whatever embarrassing thing he does!"

"Oh."

"C'mon, you literalist."

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They were soon hiding behind the hedge.

"Ok, Ronald's in his room." Hobbes said. He was holding the binoculars. He's… Doing his homework?"

"NERD PREFORMS NERDLY RITUALS BY DOING HOMEWORK AT 3:00 ON A PERFECTLY SUNNY DAY, BRAINWASHED BY NERDITY!" Calvin yelled, writing furiously on his notepad.

"Nobody's going to buy that as a newspaper story."

"You're right. Instead, I should write about how TIGER DOUBTS CHILD PRODIGY!"

"Sigh… fine. Let's humiliate Ronald."

"That's the spirit! Now, look at my plan…"

A little while later…

Calvin sat behind the bush with his binoculars and a walkie-talkie. He saw Ronald in his room, done with his homework.

"Boy genius to fanged terror. The target is headed toward the coat hangar. Over." Calvin said into the walkie-talkie.

Hobbes, meanwhile, was stationed under Ronald's bed, which had a blanket with a math pattern (obviously). "Fanged terror to boy genius. The tracker has been deployed. Oh and where's my tuna? What? I'm not getting paid for this? Oh well…Over." Hobbes said, and then followed Ronald into the closet. He followed Ronald through the coats, thinking, "This is a long closet." Suddenly, he noticed a red glow.

When Ronald went through the last of the coats, he appeared to be kneeling.

"The target is acting strangely and there appears to be a glowing red light. I'm moving in. Over."

When Hobbes came out of the coats, he was amazed at what he saw.

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"Do I get any tuna? What a stupid tiger… and he hasn't reported back yet." Calvin thought.

A/N: Cliffie! I'm giving everyone a day to guess what the red glow is. R&R!