thanx for the reviews everyone. this chapter is basicly severus remembering a few things. just a glimpse. later on, i'll let you in on the whole story.
Everything was perfect. Not.
Shortly after falling to the floor, Severus had crawled out of the room, and just after he'd got past the door, he heard it shut. And then--heard it lock.
Bellatrix had locked herself in his study. With his books. With his things. In his house. And, not only had she locked herself in, but she'd performed a rather complicated spell, which Severus couldn't figure out how to break, and after several minutes of trying to force his way through his own door, he gave up.
Now, he sat in his living room, a bottle of what looked like opened Old Wizard's Ale sitting on his coffee table. Talking would do him no good in a situation like this. Bellatrix could close her mind off to screaming, and he didn't even think she'd listen long enough for him to say a word.
She was probably in his office, shredding his numerous books and records as he sat there, sulking.
He honestly was at a loss for what to do.
Did a person like Bellatrix want comforting for the death of her husband?
Or did she want to be left alone?
When she reemerged from his study, if she reemerged from his study, would she be better or worse off than she was now?
Severus buried his lips in his alcohol, closing his eyes. He came to the conclusion that the best thing to do was to leave her alone.
About an hour later, while Severus still sat, brooding over what to do, Wormtail emerged from a hidden doorway behind a bookcase, and Severus' eyes snapped up, expecting Bellatrix. Instead, he found out, it was the rat he was forced to share board with. Why did he get everyone shoved off on him? Certainly, he didn't strike anyone as a housemaid.
Without thinking, his wand had wormed its way into his hand, and Severus turned the weapon on Wormtail. "Peter, for the next few weeks, you are to stay put in your hole, behind the bookcase. You aren't to come out."
"But…but what about….about food or water?" Stammered the ragged man.
"I don't care. You'll somehow manage." Severus aimed several curses at the eyesore and Wormtail scampered away up his stairs.
Snape switched off the lights in the living room and walked down the corridor to his bedroom. He stopped, just outside his study and pressed an ear to the door. What he heard nearly made him jump. Low, very fast, crying, which shallow breaths and gasps here and there.
Was she….sobbing? Severus didn't know what to think about this, and pulled away from the door.
He crawled into bed a few minutes later, having left his door open, because he was somewhat paranoid about the prospect of Bellatrix killing him in his sleep, and he wanted to know if she was coming.
Severus lay very still, not bothering to crawl under the covers. If he listened hard enough, he could hear her crying. It was an odd sound to hear, especially from her, and Severus didn't know whether he enjoyed knowing that the bitch was human or detested knowing because it unnerved him.
He'd never seen her cry. Never. Crying was something he'd never suspected that Bellatrix held the capacity to do. People like her didn't cry, they just didn't.
Was she heartbroken because her husband, her lover for the last twenty years was dead?
And the twenty years hadn't really been twenty years spent together. Bellatrix and Rodolphus hadn't laid hands on one another until after Hogwarts, from what he knew, and had gotten married when they were twenty-two. Less than four years later, they were both being locked away in Azkaban for torturing the Longbottoms. And then, when it seemed that everything would finally be okay, they'd spent but two years together before he'd be killed.
Severus wondered what it would be like to love someone that much and then lose them. To need someone and then, have them ripped away from you, locked in a cell, opposite of you, where you could see them everyday, but never touch.
And then. Two precious years, interrupted by killings, ministry raids, and battles; only to have it all thrown away when the other dies.
He could come close to that. He could come close. For he, Severus Snape, had been infatuated with Bellatrix once, but it hadn't really amounted to anything. A dance or two. A few times kissing. And a one-shot at sex. He'd had her for one night, only to have her slip out of his grasp and fall into Lucius', and then for her to sleep with when she was trying to piss Lucius off.
Something special he'd been.
Severus crawled under the blankets on his bed. He didn't want to think about it. That span between October and December in his fourth year only brought back pain.