Are they married yet? They may as well be. They get all gooey eyed and lovey dovey whenever they're near each other. Ew. You know they've been stupid for each other since they were like five, right? I don't think I can even remember anyone from when I was five.
Anyway, they have this l-o-n-g history together and blah blah blah… She wants him, he wants her, they get engaged and yada yada yada... To this day, I don't know why Mary ever gave that ring back to Danny. It just doesn't make any sense. Then again, Mary is a hopeless romantic. I mean hopeless. You'd never believe that that girl was born and raised in Las Vegas. She was probably hoping that Danny wouldn't take "no" for an answer and run after her when she walked away. Yea. We all know how that ended.
Danny is a man. He wouldn't know romance if it smacked him upside his head. Sure, he's a notorious flirt. But when it comes down to the one-on-one mushy stuff, he's an idiot. Totally clueless. I think the most romantic thing he's ever done for Mary was take her to Los Angeles that weekend – which I had to plan, by the way. Damn. I had the whole reception planned for when they got back. I was so sure that they were going to elope…
Anyway, I've never seen two people more retarded for each other. Did you know that Danny's eyes kind of glaze over and get all starry-eyed whenever you mention her name? If you ever call him on it, he denies it and says "of course I love her, she's my best friend." Whatever. She'll deny it, too. It's even worse when they interact with each other. Gag me. They get so freaking sweet, it gives me a cavity.
You know, Mike and Nessa were almost as bad. Almost.
But Mary's being bossy now. And stupid. Wait, they're both being stupid.
I have busted Danny watching her on his monitor more times than I can count. Ask Mike. He'll tell you. Or Mitch. Or even Ed. Always watching her every move on the floor. It got really bad when 'ol Jake came along. Jealousy finally reared its ugly head. Hee hee.
Those three weeks she was in Hawaii? Oh my God… I could have murdered her for leaving. But I was so glad she was back. Danny was a little snot while she was away. You know, we couldn't get a hold of her after the first week she was gone? When she got back, she had some lame story about how she lost her phone. Right, the girl was in Hawaii with her boyfriend. You do the math.
But you know Mary had to know. She had to know that it drove Danny crazy to see her with another man. But you know Mary. She gets all coy and doe-eyed if you say anything. And she blushes furiously. You'd think that after all the time she's spent with me and Delinda, she'd be less innocent. No. She's not. Still sweet virginal Mary.
That's probably why Danny is so doofy for her. For all that she has put up with from him and with him; she's still the same, incorruptible Mary. But bossier now.