I do not own Inu-yasha.
Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were-I have not seen
As others saw-I could not bring
My passions from a common spring-
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow-I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone-
And all I lov'd-I lov'd alone-
Then-in my childhood-in the dawn
Of a most stormy life-was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still-
From the torrent, or the fountain-
From the red cliffs of the mountain-
From the sun that round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold-
From the lighting of the sky
As it pass'd me flying by
From the thunder, and the storm
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view
-Edgar Allen Poe
Chapter Four
Acceptance Cuts to the Bone
He stared into the sky. It was dark. Where was he? Did he care enough? An image before his eyes... A girl... He knew her... He could swear he knew her...
Knew her...
---
"I'm gonna protect you Kagome!" Inu-yasha called out. Kagome nodded and found her place behind him. It was an age-old routine now. After a wind scar, the demon was dead.
Kagome gave him a brilliant smile. "See Inu-yasha? There's nothing wrong with you. You just pushed yourself too much."
Inu-yasha didn't give her much of a response except for "Feh."
Kagome blinked. Whoa...she had set that up so he could brag but... For him to not take it? Something was wrong... "Are you okay Inu-yasha?" she asked, her smile turning on itself.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said gruffly. Kagome watched as he walked away. Soon he was nothing but a red dot on the horizon.
"Inu-yasha?" she whispered.
---
There was nothing worse. Nothing worse at all. It stood in front of her, laughing at her, taunting her. Kaede's hut. She knew they were in there. Shippo gave her a comforting pat and she inhaled, her breath stopping in her throat. No going back...
She walked inside and blinked as she tried to get use to the darkness.
"K...Kagome?"
She looked in the direction of the voice to see Sango sitting on the ground. Even from here Kagome could see the exterminator's puffy red eyes. The woman stood up and padded over. A hand reached out and touched Kagome's arm gently. "Kagome.." Sango enclosed her in a hug, crying again. "I didn't think you'd come back..."
Kagome leaned into the hug and held on too. "I didn't want to...but I had to...I was going nuts..."
The two women stood there and cried. They knew the other was hurting. They didn't even care if their clothes were getting all wet or...
---
He wondered if she remembered him too? How long had it been since he had seen her? How many days had gone by? He looked up to see that the moon was not shining on him. Not shining... A new moon. A new moon...
It had been a new moon that day too...
---
"Are you sure that was what it was?" Miroku asked. "We could of been wrong... He could be out there and we could be wrong."
Kagome shook her head. "No. It's the truth, as much as I don't want to know... It's the truth..."
Miroku looked over at her. "It's hard to imagine..."
Sango nodded silently. "It is... You could never think of him that way..."
Kagome patted Shippo on the head. He was sleeping quietly on her lap. Every now and then he'd twitch, but for the most part he was silent and resigned. "It's true..."
---
"Inu-yasha, what's the matter?" Kagome said, catching up to him again.
"It doesn't matter!" he said and starting stalking away again.
"It matters to me!" she said and took his hand to try and keep him from walking again.
"Maybe you should just go home."
Kagome's eyebrows rose in confusion. "What? Go home? Why?"
"Because...it's coming..."
"What's coming?"
Then he looked at her with those amber eyes... Such sadness and pain in those beautiful eyes. She wanted to replace those emotions. Wanted to fill them with light and laughter and happiness. She wondered if she ever could.
"It's better if you just went home."
"Inu-yasha!" Kagome cried out. "I told you I would stay with you, so please stop doing this!"
"I don't want you to get hurt! I don't want to see it happen like that!"
"Inu-yasha!"
He turned around and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her gently. "I know it seems like I don't care, but I'll protect you. No matter what happens. I'll protect you. Because I don't want to see you hurt."
Her eyes were wide. "I...nu...yasha...?"
"Even if it means I have to keep you away from me, even if it means I have to send you back to your time..."
Kagome broke away from his grasp, shaking her head hard once. "No! I'm not ever leaving you again!" She shook her head once more. "I'm not going to leave you!"
"Just like I thought...," he grumbled, holding his head with a hand. He glared at her. "You really are a spoiled brat, you know?"
She smiled politely. "I'm still not leaving."
Not leaving...
---
Kagome smiled on the memory now. She had left after all, and so had he. She shook her head as she briefly heard her name being called. "Ah, yes?" she asked, turning her attention to the present fully.
"Our monk here has suggested we go back to the battle scene and look for him. We did too, but we couldn't find him... We thought that maybe you could...," Sango said, a pained look on her pretty face.
Kagome knew what the exterminator was talking about. She had given Inu-yasha that good luck charm... "We can try...," she said finally. "But tomorrow, maybe. I... I don't think I've quite gotten over it."
Miroku nodded. "We understand. We're upset too... I can only imagine how you feel, my dear Kagome."
She smiled at his obvious attempt to comfort her. "It's alright, Miroku. I'll get over it...in time... I was sorry that I... That it was my fault. I wasn't there in time." She looked down at her hands in her lap with a sad smile upon her face. Her hands were quite pale. At least she had regained most of her mind now. That was a plus at least. She didn't know if it was the air, or her friends, or just the time...but she knew that she would get better, she would just have to get better.
---
-Higurashi Residence, Present-
Higurashi-san watched as the rain still poured outside. Was it now crying for the loss of her baby to this world? Would Kagome not return this time, having been killed or even...having taken her own life? What had happened in the past? Why was her daughter so distressed?
She had once asked the young boy with dog ears to make sure that no harm came to her daughter. He had just did his trademark 'Feh' and muttered something. She was pretty sure that it had been something along the lines of "Like I ever would". But now it seems that he had done exactly what she had asked him not to do. Somehow, he had harmed her more than any monster or demon that could ever make her bleed or cause her death...
What had he done? Had he died, or...was he hurt? Would she never get to touch his ears again, never make him ramen? Would she never see her daughter smile again?
She shook her head and stared out the window again. She couldn't be negative. Her daughter needed her to be positive, to be the strong one. She was a mother after all. Mothers were always strong for their daughters.
She had to be strong for Kagome now. Soon Kagome would be back, and she would hold her sweet little baby in her arms and tell her that it was okay, that everything would turn out to be the best.
Everything would be the best.
Everything would be the best for her little baby.
---
He stared as the sun was setting. Another day of not knowing where he was going. But the girl he knew, he really knew her. He knew he had to get back to her, at whatever cost. She was, after all, the girl he loved and cared for.
He had to tell her, had to let her know.
Just had to let her know.
---
-Edo, the past-
She tossed and she turned. Why was it still annoying her? Why was it still haunting her? She wanted it to go away... That dream...
---
It was the last one, he knew it was. That was the only thing it could be. Inu-yasha stared bravely ahead of him. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo stood with him. Kagome he had left behind. He had to. He knew that she would only get hurt. He didn't want that to happen to her.
This would be it. He could already smell the awful stench... That awful stench of Naraku's scent...
"Gods keep her," he breathed as he stared on ahead. The others continued to walk with him. He knew that they were scared. He was scared too. What if he died and never got to tell Kagome...? What if she was killed because he wasn't there? What if...
Damn, he hated those words. What if...
What if...
What if...?
---
-Edo, the next day-
"Kagome, you were tossing in your sleep again, are you okay?" Sango asked.
Kagome gave her a smile. "I'm not really sure of that anymore."
Miroku sighed. "He really is... He really is, isn't he?"
Kagome looked at the monk.
---
Take a photograph
It'll be the last
Not a dollar or a crowd could keep me here
I don't have a past
I just have a chance
Not a family or honest pleas remains to say
Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
Is it you I want
Or just the notion of a heart to wrap around
So I can find my way around
Safe to say from here
You're getting closer now
We are never sad
'Cause we are not allowed to be
Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
To lie here under you is all that I could ever do
To lie here under you is all
To lie here under you is all that I could ever do
To lie here under you is all
Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
All the world is waiting for the sun
All the world is waiting for the sun
---
"Yes. Inu-yasha is dead."
---
Poem is 'Alone' by Edgar Allen Poe
Song is 'Rain' by Breaking Benjamin
End Chapter Four:
Acceptance Cuts to the Bone