I do not own Inu-yasha.
Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were-I have not seen
As others saw-I could not bring
My passions from a common spring-
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow-I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone-
And all I lov'd-I lov'd alone-
Then-in my childhood-in the dawn
Of a most stormy life-was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still-
From the torrent, or the fountain-
From the red cliffs of the mountain-
From the sun that round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold-
From the lighting of the sky
As it pass'd me flying by
From the thunder, and the storm
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view
-Edgar Allen Poe
Chapter Five
"I Love You"
-Edo, the Present-
Well, the time had come. She rose and made sure her bag was as packed as it needed to be. She couldn't leave something behind in the rush of feelings.
So they would find him, or his body. Whichever was left. If he was alive, which she doubted ever so much, then she'd be happy and she'd scold him for leaving her and making her worry. If he be dead, then she's dig the grave herself and never leave its side. She would greave every day until she no longer had life in her.
Well, the time had come...
The time had come.
---
-Edo, the Past-
It was horrible. It was ugly. He wanted to run away and burn his eyes, taking the image from his mind forever. He was scared. For his friends, for his love, for himself. He had taken on bad things, very bad things, but this was the worst.
Something in the back of his head told him he might not make it this time. He shook his head mentally. If that one little bit of doubt stayed there, lingered, haunted him, then it would become true, and he'd be in a shallow grave faster than you could say 'chicken-flavored ramen'.
It was horrible and ugly. No words could give grace to its features. It was horrible and ugly. Demons mashed together to form something that was nothing but what he could picture to be death itself. When it laughed at them, he could of swore that the ground shook and the snow fell off the mountains in the far-off distance.
He could make it. He would make it for her sake, for their sake. He was going to make it to see his wedding day, and his children. Their wedding days. His grandchildren. He couldn't imagine children though. His next birthday then. He'd make it to that at least. "I promise you," he whispered under his breath. "I promise you, I will promise you everything I can give."
---
She had been left behind.
She stared off into the distance. She shouldn't of stayed. Even Shippo had gone. Even he had been brave enough to defy Inu-yasha. Why did she stay? She should of gone. That was it. She got up. She ran. She would make it. She was going to make it.
Was going to make it...
---
The battle had been going strong and the favor was for the beast.
He knelt, holding the hilt of his sword still, stopping to catch his breath. "Kagome," he muttered. Standing back up, he faced the monster, DEATH, once more. "You're not going to win," he whispered, glaring at what appeared to be death's eyes.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sango and Miroku fighting their hardest. A rare smile graced his lips. They were always there for him. For him and Kagome and Shippo... Speaking of the kit... He looked around, death's eyes currently on the fighting duo, looking for the little fox. There. He was at the foot of the monster, kicking it as hard as he could.
He shook his head. That kid was going to get himself killed. As fast as he could, he ran to the foot and grabbed up the child. Far away now, he set him down. "You're going to kill yourself doing that, and what is Kagome going to say?"
Shippo shrugged. "I don't know, ask her." He pointed behind Inu-yasha.
Inu-yasha's eyes widened. No. She couldn't of. He turned around slowly and saw that the miko girl had indeed come. She was standing maybe ten yards away from him. Just staring at him, asking him, practically begging him to disagree and yell at her to get away, to run far away.
Well, it was impolite to not do what people wanted.
He closed the distance. "Kagome you idiot!"
He shouldn't of. The monster turned itself towards them and Inu-yasha scooped her up in his arms to dodge the appendage that Naraku had sent their way.
The monster laughed. "So the girl has finally come." If the laugh had been bad, his voice was the worst.
Kagome shuddered and pressed herself closer to Inu-yasha, wanting so much to stay away from the thing. "Is it him?" she whispered.
Inu-yasha nodded. "Stay here," he commanded, settling her on the ground and bounding off to once again have a crack at their latest problem.
Kagome sat there and watched as her friends battled the thing, trying their hardest. It seemed that its eyes were on nothing but her. Was it her it wanted? Why was she so important? Why? Why?
---
-Edo, the Present-
He watched the sun. It didn't move. His hair was white. He wasn't old. His love wasn't with him. Had she died? Should he mourn now? His stomach hurt. Was he hungry, or just...injured? He couldn't move anymore, just like the sun, but in reality, he knew the sun was moving.
She had told him it moved.
He lay there, bleeding from numerous wounds and watching the sun. Something glittered around his neck. That was okay with him.
He just wanted to tell her that important thing.
He just wanted to tell Kagome that important thing.
---
-Edo, the Past-
She screamed as it moved and the earth moved from beneath her. One long arm held out to grab her up and take it with her. What did it want? What did it want? She cried, the tears streaming down her face as she scrambled up to run away. She was always running. She wasn't strong like Inu-yasha was...
The earth moved again and she tripped. No, the earth hadn't moved. It was a upturned root, providing a little hole for her foot to slip into. She pulled it out quickly and stood up, running again. Crawl or run, she didn't care, she'd get away. It'd pull Death away from the others anyways.
Maybe she could be strong. Maybe she could...
---
-Edo, the Present-
They had been traveling for a while now. How ironic. It was so sad to travel with a companion missing. And if he'd never come back, they'd forever be short one.
She stared at the ground. How sad it was, nothing seemed to care that one less person was gone. She cared. The person she loved with all her heart was gone. Maybe forever. Maybe she'd never get to see that hesitant smile again, or those bangs that fell so boyishly over his face, or hear that voice of his, so gentle sometimes. She knew it was for those sentimental times that she stuck around. She stuck around to receive any kind of affection he'd give her.
Any kind.
"Kagome."
She looked up and saw Miroku was talking to her. He'd become sort of like a vice-leader, a back-up for Inu-yasha. "Yes, Miroku?"
"We're going to stop here for a while to rest and eat."
She nodded and looked around. A river on her right and more trees to her left. So many trees around in this time. He loved to sleep in trees...
Too many memories in this time, but she knew she had done the right thing.
She hoped God could do the right thing and let him live.
---
-Edo, the Past-
Inu-yasha had watched as the beast had slowly turned to Kagome, its arm reaching for her. Run! he had screamed in his head. It seemed like she had gotten his message. She turned and ran away. It moved and she tripped. He lost his own footing, falling in his mad dash to get to Kagome.
He got up and was on his way again. He had speed over this huge thing. But speed could be enough.
The thing kept on after her, was gaining on her in all of its weight. No possible way...
Kagome
cried out. She was blocked in by a ring of demons. No doubt part of
the monster behind her. He couldn't take it, had to get to her,
and now. He stopped and aimed his sword toward the bottom
part of the thing's leg. If he could just immobilize it...
"Bakuryu-ha!"
It was working! Yes! ...No! The wind tunnel had tore through the leg of the horrid beast, but the leg just grew again. Had he let himself become so stupid?
Kagome screamed again. One of the demons had her in its grasp. Just what was so important about Kagome?
---
-Edo, the Present-
The sun was setting. Another day without Inu-yasha. It had been two days now. Two...
She saw there was no moon. How interesting... The new moon had been up for the past...was it three or four? That's right, it had only been two days since the disappearance of the moon.
A look of torture overcame her face. What if... What if it had died because of Inu-yasha? What if... What if it was a sign that Inu-yasha really was dead?
No, that was silly talk. She had to stay optimistic. Had to stay positive for him.
Her gaze fell on the stars. But what if...?
---
-Edo, the Far Past-
"You see that moon?" she asked.
He looked at it. "Yes."
"Tomorrow it will be gone. It's called a new moon."
He stared at the woman behind him, her arms around him, pulling him up against her. "But..."
She smiled down at him, a pretty woman's smile. "It's going to be okay."
"I don't want it to leave."
She smiled at him again. "One day when you're older...I can tell... You're going to make it through though, because you're my little child, my little boy. You're strong, like your father. So when it comes, will you make me a promise?"
He nodded. "What Mama?"
"Promise me that you'll do everything in your power to find her."
He was confused by what it was she wanted, but he nodded again. "Okay Mama."
She smiled sadly at him. "Because I'm not going to be there for you... I'll already be gone."
He couldn't imagine it, life without his mother, so he just scrunched up his eyebrows and stared at her smooth face. "You're not ever going to leave me Mama, you love me."
She smiled softly at him and stroked the side of his face. "I do, my dear, I do so very much. I just hope that she'll love you more than I ever could."
---
-Edo, the Present-
She had risen with the sun, perched on the lowest branch of a tree. She felt like it was an obligation to watch over the others like he had done. They were still sleeping peacefully.
She sighed. Only a while until they got to the place where they had last seen him. Would they find nothing? Or a body? Or would they find an Inu-yasha covered in blood, yelling at them to help him the fuck up.
It felt weird to wish for the last one, for wasn't it she herself that wished he wouldn't yell at them? And curse at them? Was it weird for her to wish he be vulgar? No, she decided, not if he was alive... I'll tell him...I'll make him remember. I'll do anything...
The sunlight pushed its way into her eyes and she raised a hand to shade them from those bright rays. "So Inu-yasha... Are you going to stay alive for me?"
---
-Edo, the Past-
Somehow she broke away from the demon's grasp, running toward Inu-yasha with a terrified expression on her face. "Inu-yasha!" she screamed, as though the name alone was something that could protect her. Well, it wasn't. He'd have to do it.
"Stupid baka!" he yelled. She was such a stupid wench! He ran to her and grabbed her up in his arms, dashing away, far, far away. The demons were too slow.
"You idiot!" he yelled. "I told you to stay behind!"
She shook her head furiously. "I couldn't! I couldn't just leave my friends!"
He glared at her. "I want you to run, run far away. Go back to your time. He's after you and you alone."
"No! I'm not going to run!" She glared at him, hoping to God she'd win this fight, but Inu-yasha wasn't going to have it.
"God damn it all, if I have to physically take you there and shove you through, I fucking will!"
She gave him a hurt look, about ready to cry. "I want to stay with you! I told you I'd always stay by your side! You told me I could! Are you going back on your word?"
He slammed her against his chest. "No, Kagome, no. Don't say that, I don't want you to die, if it was not for that, I'd gladly let you stay. You mean too much to me, don't you fucking get that? And I swear to the Heavens and the seven Hells below, I will come for you when this is over." He pulled her away to watch her wipe an eye with the green fabric of her cuff gatherers. "So will you please, just for this once, will you please stop being such a stubborn baka and go home?"
She nodded and he gave her a rare smile.
"Thank you Kagome."
"Promise," she said.
He raised an eyebrow.
"Promise me that you won't die! I'll never forgive myself." She glared at him. "And if you do die, I swear to the Heavens and the seven Hells below, I'll come and beat the shit out of you myself!"
He held his little miko to him once more and then helped her onto the ground. "Hurry, he'll be coming soon and I want you as far away as possible. Stay out of sight and try to not get yourself killed, eh?"
She nodded and she started running, only pausing to look back once and he could of sworn he saw her lips move and form the words "I love you", but he decided he was being delusional. Even still, he muttered it himself. "Kagome, I love you."
He knew she didn't hear it though and he stared as she ran away, trying to memorize the way she looked and how exactly it was she ran. The way her skirt flipped up a little bit with every stride.
Hell, it was the last time he'd see her.
---
This
night, walk the dead
In a solitary style
And crash the
cemetery gates
In the dress your husband hates
Way down, mark
the grave
Where the search lights find us
Drinking by the
mausoleum door
And they found you on the bathroom floor
I
miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that
made it so hard
Back home, off the run
Singing songs that
make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun, staring down a
loaded gun
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying
If you want,
I'll keep on crying
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what
you always want me for?
I miss you, I miss you so far
And
the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Way down, way
down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way
down
I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of
your kiss that made it so hard
When will I miss you, when will
I miss you so far?
And the collision of your kiss that made it so
hard
Made it so hard
Way down, way down
Way down, way
down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down
---
"I love you Kagome."
---
Poem was "Alone" by Edgar Allen Poe.
Song was "Cemetery Drive" by My Chemical Romance
End Chapter Five
"I Love You"