Part 3 and the final part of this scene. It took me a while to write this cuz I went away for a while. It gave me time to think up some new ideas though. Just to remind you, we are at the point right after Satine faints, and Christian (very humorously) puts her on the bed. Then the Duke walks in...
This is a bit awkward, my climbing on top of her to get her settled.
DUKE: I forgot my ha——
Oh no, the Duke is back!
DUKE: Foul play?
How am I going to explain this? I can't tell him I was here the whole time.
CHRISTIAN: She……I……
SATINE: Oh, Duke……
She's awake? Hopefully she can come up with another of her brilliant stories, and fast.
DUKE: It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside.
What does that have to do with anything? Oh no, maybe he knows I wrote it.
CHRISTIAN: No……
SATINE: Beautifully spoken, Duke. Yes, let me introduce you to the writer.
Great way to break it to him. Now he is going to think the writer is sleeping with the courtesan. He's never going to agree to invest in the show.
DUKE: The writer?
SATINE: Yes……
Ow. She just gabbed me in the ribs trying to get up. I hope she can stand.
SATINE: Oh yes, we were……we were rehearsing.
Shit. He is never going to buy that.
DUKE: Hahaha……
Think Christian. Obviously Satine is not thinking clearly after fainting, so it is up to me to find an excuse. It's hopeless.
DUKE: You expect me to believe that, scantily clad, in the arms of another man, in the middle of the night, inside an Elephant, you were rehearsing?
He makes it sound even more ridiculous than when Satine said it. What the hell?
TOULOUSE: How's the rehearsal going?
Ha! Toulouse and the Boho's. They must have been watching this entire time. I have never been happier to see them though.
TOULOUSE: Shall we take it from the top, then, eh Satine?
SATIE: I hope the piano's in tune.
ARGENTINEAN: Sorry that we are late.
THE DOCTOR: Can I offer you a drink?
Haha. It is like a circus here. If Zidler could see this he would flip. I'm having the hardest time keeping my laughter in, but Satine is still her calm, seductive self.
SATINE: When I spoke those words to you before, you……you filled me with such inspiration. Yes, I realized how much work we had to do before tomorrow. So I called everyone together for an emergency rehearsal!
The Duke does not look convinced. We can't lose him as a benefactor. We need him.
DUKE: If you're rehearsing, where's Zidler?
Uh oh. Harold won't show up and the Duke will realize this is all a big lie.
SATINE: No, I wouldn't bother Har——
ZIDLER: My dear Duke, I'm most terribly sorry!
Unbelievable. This whole night is like a dream. How the hell did Harold know that we where here?
SATINE: Harold! You made it! It's all right, the Duke knows all about the emergency rehearsal.
I hope Harold does not think she is flirting with him. Her hinting voice is identical to her seductive voice.
ZIDLER: Emergency rehearsal?
SATINE: Mm, to incorporate the Duke's artistic idea.
My idea. The Duke gave no ideas. They where all my ideas.
ZIDLER: Yes, well, I'm sure Audrey will be only too delighted——
Audrey? No one has told Zidler that Audrey left?
TOULOUSE: Audrey's left!
Well Toulouse just did. Great, just great.
ZIDLER: He's what?
SATINE: Harold, the cat's out of the bag.
Damn she is a fantastic liar.
SATINE: Yes, the Duke's already a big fan of our new writer's work. That's why he's so keen to invest.
There's that voice. Harold's face just lit up. I think he understands that something is going on, even if he doesn't know what.
ZIDLER: Invest? Invest! Oh, yes, well, invest!
We might actually pull this whole lie off.
ZIDLER: You can hardly blame me for trying to hide our……
No one knows my name. Even Satine doesn't know my name.
CHRISTIAN: Christian.
TOULOUSE: Christian!
ZIDLER: ……Christian away!
The Duke must think we are all mad.
DUKE: I'm way ahead of you, Zidler.
You think you are so smart. You have no idea that this is all one big con. Ha.
ZIDLER: My dear Duke……why don't you and I go to my office to produce the paperwork?
Yes Zidler, get the Duke away.
DUKE: What's the story?
ZIDLER: The story?
He wants to know the story? The story does not exist yet.
DUKE: Well, if I'm to invest, I'll need to know the story.
ZIDLER: Oh, yes……well……the story's about…… Toulouse?
Toulouse had an idea for the story when we where practicing.
TOULOUSE: Well……well……the story's……the story's about…… Well, it's, it's about, um……
Apparently he does not know the story. Think Christian. I'm the writer so what am I going to write about. I could write about tonight and elaborate on that. Everything that has happened is like a fantasy anyway. I'll write about my love for Satine.
CHRISTIAN: It's about love!
DUKE: Love?
He wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the ass. But Satine... I have to make this story work for her to realize I love her.
CHRISTIAN: It's about love……overcoming all obstacles.
TOULOUSE: And it's set in Switzerland!
DUKE: Switzerland?
ZIDLER: It's not in Switzerland!
Switzerland won't work. No I need somewhere romantic and beautiful. Um... that elephant gave me an idea.
CHRISTIAN: India……India! It's set in India!
Yes India is perfect. Now Satine's part.
CHRISTIAN: And there's a Courtesan……the most beautiful courtesan in all the world.
This Duke can be the antagonist. But there are no Dukes in India. A Maharajah. That will work.
CHRISTIAN: But her kingdom's invaded by an Evil Maharajah! Now, in order to save her kingdom she has to seduce the Evil Maharajah.
In order to save the play Satine had to seduce the Duke. But she met me... Yes I'll include a version of me.
CHRISTIAN: But, on the night of the seduction, she mistakes a Penniless P--
No, I can't say poet or someone might catch on. Um... what can I use. Ah ha...
CHRISTIAN: …Penn……Penniless…… Penniless Sitar Player for the Evil Maharajah, and she falls in love with him!
At least I hope she fell in love with me. This is my chance to explain to Satine that I wasn't trying to trick her.
CHRISTIAN: He wasn't trying to trick her or anything……but he was dressed as a maharajah……because……
Why was he dressed that way? He wasn't going to get a job, that is not appealing for a play. Hey a play, that will work.
CHRISTIAN: He' appearing in a play.
ARGENTINEAN: I will play the Penniless tango-dancing Sitar Player. I sing like an angel…… but dance like the devil!
I guess he could play the part. Not exactly who I want to portray me but he will have to do.
DUKE: Yes……yes, all right. And-and what happens next?
I got his attention. That is a good sign.
CHRISTIAN: Well, the Penniless Sitar Player and the Courtesan, they have to hide their love from the Evil Maharajah.
I need a conflict now. Um...
SATIE: The Penniless Sitar Player's sitar is magical! It can only speak the truth!
That will work. I like that.
TOULOUSE: And I will play the Magical Sitar!
Toulouse will be good for that part. No one else is short enough.
TOULOUSE: You are beautiful! You are ugly. And you are——
No Toulouse. We don't need him pissing the Duke off and all of this being done for nothing. At least the Duke seems to be enjoying the story.
DUKE: Yes, and he gives the game away!
Yes I can write this story. It should be easy, and yet exciting at the same time.
THE DOCTOR: Tell him about the can-can!
I don't know anything about the cancan. I guess I can give it a shot.
CHRISTIAN: It's a……tantric can-can, it's——
ZIDLER: It's a neurotic, spectacular scene that captures the thrusting, violent, vibrant, world bohemian spirit that this whole production embodies, Duke!
What the bloody hell is he talking about? The Duke looks as confused as me.
DUKE: What do you mean by that?
ZIDLER: I mean the show will be……a magnificent, opulent, tremendous, stupendous, gargantuan bedazzlement! A sensual ravishment! It will be……
More singing. Singing is the best way to put our feelings to words. Satie is playing the piano and its perfect.
ZIDLER: Spectacular Spectacular
No words in the vernacular
Can describe this great event
You'll be dumb with wonderment
Returns are fixed at ten percent
You must agree that's excellent
AND ON TOP OF YOUR FEE
ALL: YOU'LL BE INVOLVED ARTISTICALLY
How did I wind up next to Satine? I have the feeling she is avoiding me. She refuses to look me in the eye. The Duke looks petrified as me move closer to him. He must truly think we are all mad.
ALL: SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
Everyone is off doing there own thing to describe they're part in the play. We should be under a tent with elephants and cannons going off, and people dancing on wires. And I feel like the circus director.
TOULOUSE: ELEPHANTS
THE DOCTOR: BOHEMIANS
ZIDLER: INDIANS
SATINE: AND COURTESANS
SATIE: ACROBATS
ARGENTINEAN: AND JUGGLING BEARS
TOULOUSE: EXOTIC GIRLS
Our dancing is beyond insane.
ALL: FIRE EATERS, MUSCLE MEN, CONTORTIONISTS
INTRIGUE, DANGER,
TOULOUSE: AND ROMANCE
ALL: ELECTRIC LIGHTS, MACHINERY
ZIDLER: RUN WITH ELECTRICITY
This is actually quite fun. Running around the Duke is hilarious.
ALL: SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
My knees are going to be extremely red later tonight from sliding on the carpet. I can't imagine how Satine must feel in only her garters.
ALL: SPECTACULAR SPECTACULAR
NO WORDS IN THE VERNACULAR
CAN DESCRIBE THIS GREAT EVENT
YOU'LL BE DUMB WITH WONDERMENT
THE HILLS ARE ALIVE
WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC
We all look so ridiculous is weird outfits. This song is also ridiculous. I can hardly believe I came up with it. It will never fit in the play. We must look like a bunch of rabbits, hopping up and down for no apparent reason.
ALL: SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
The Duke is not as light as he looks. Even Satine has to help us keep him upright in his chair. The expression of horror on his face is priceless though.
ALL: SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
Thank God that is over. It was odd and yet satisfying. I really hope the Duke liked it.
DUKE: Yes, but what happens in the end?
The end. I haven't even really come up with the first five minutes. I guess we will have to come up with it as we go along. Everyone is rushing around, and I guess they are going to act out the rest of the play. I'll obviously be the narrator.
CHRISTIAN: THE COURTESAN AND SITAR MAN
ARE PULLED APART BY AN EVIL PLAN
SATINE: BUT IN THE END, SHE HEARS HIS SONG
Her voice is one of the things I love most about her. Finally she looked me in the eye. Maybe she is trying to tell me that she really does love me. Love can conquer anything, especially a Duke.
CHRISTIAN: AND THEIR LOVE IS JUST TOO STRONG.
DUKE: IT'S A LITTLE BIT FUNNY
THIS FEELING INSIDE
That just killed my song. I think he is trying to look seductive, making that face. It only makes him look more like a rat.
ALL: SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
Doing the Can-Can is not as easy as it looks. I feel as though I am leaning onto Satine for support. She is a natural at it though.
ALL: SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
Ok back to the story. The Sitar has to tell the Maharajah about the couple.
CHRISTIAN: THE SITAR PLAYER'S SECRET SONG
HELPS THEM FLEE THE EVIL ONE
THOUGH THE TYRANT RANTS AND RAILS
IT IS ALL TO NO AVAIL
Even Harold has thrown away all dignity to convince the Duke. He looks horrid in that turban. The Duke finds it very comical as well.
ZIDLER: I am the Evil Maharajah! You will not escape!
SATINE: Oh, Harold, no one could play him like you could!
ZIDLER: No one's going to.
Now we have our Maharajah as well. By the end of this night the whole cast will be picked out. Back to the actual song and odd dancing.
ALL: SO EXCITING, WE'LL MAKE THEM LAUGH, WE'LL MAKE THEM CRY
SO DELIGHTING……
DUKE: And in the end, should someone die?
Die? No, that does not fit at all. That has nothing to d with truth, beauty, freedom, or love. No one will die. Toulouse doesn't seem to like the idea either.
ALL: SO EXCITING, THE AUDIENCE WILL STOMP AND CHEER
SO DELIGHTING, IT WILL RUN FOR FIFTY YEARS
I have no idea what just happened. All I know is somehow Toulouse wound up on top of some bald man who jut appeared and Satine and the Argentinian are together.
DUKE: Generally, I like it.
I have a show. After all that just happened tonight I actually have a show. Between all the lies and making up stories we pulled off getting an investor for the show. Everyone is so happy they are yelling and hugging the Duke. I want to talk to Satine but Toulouse and the others have me on their shoulders and are leading me out the door. I don't want them to take me away but they say they are going to throw a party that night in celebration of the first Bohemian show. I guess I should start writing anyway.
That is the end of this three part scene. Hmm... what to do next? Ideas anyone? Include them in your review.