Trigger Warning: Mentioning of Sexual Harassment and Assault !

Chapter Title "Versions Of You" by Maximo Park

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Chicago PD, Fire or Med characters, only my OCs!

February 17th 2021, 27 hours earlier:

"Please? Please, I … I really need to use the bathroom!"

Peeing her pants seemed like the biggest humiliation. Also, wet pants in this drafty halls were a guarantee to catch a cystitis. Still being corded up like a parcel, and with her knees almost making contact with her stomach, the pressure on her bladder had been adding to Rianne's general discomfort for a while now.

After leaving her alone and without any clue as to who had taken her hostage for what had felt like hours, a young guy had suddenly walked in. He had lazily spilled some water over the puddle of vomit next to her, which, from where Rianne was standing, had done nothing to minimize the stench that still lingered in the air. But at least she now knew she hadn't just been left to rot in here.
If she could just convince him to take her to whatever shitty bathroom was around here, she could check for injuries and maybe find out where exactly they were. Or at least how many others there were or what she was up against.

"No bathroom!" The man shook his head and Rianne's frustration grew.

She so needed to pee! It was slowly becoming all she could think about.

"Then… I don't know: Get me a bucket, maybe? Or you could let me go! I don't know what you want from me! Why're you keeping me here?"

Instead of giving her an answer the guy just turned around and left, making her call out after him, now fighting to keep her cool to not burst into tears over a denied bathroom-break:

"Hey! Please! Come on!"

Not being able to stretch her legs and evaluate where the pain in her lower abdomen was originating from, was pure torture. Slowly the fear of what else she would have to endure was seeping into her skin. That fear was sending an uncomfortable shiver down Rianne's back, although it could also be the cold. She had lost Jay's jacket… Jay… Did he know? Was he looking for her, yet? Was anyone looking for her?

26 hours earlier:

Because Voight wouldn't let him inside the interrogation room, Jay could only watch from outside. He desperately wanted to ask all those questions Adam and Hailey were currently asking and more, but he kind of understood that it wouldn't have ended well.
He was clenching his jaw and fists enough just listening from the outside to the conversation they were having with Nate right now. A shadow of the past he'd thought they had dealt with and overcome.
His phone vibrating in Jay's pocket interrupted his solitude on the other side of the two-way-mirror and for a second he hoped that if he pulled it out he would see Rianne's name and picture flash up. Which was stupid! Her phone was lying on his desk, because he'd been going through all the information that could be found on it for the last half hour. And of course he'd come up empty.

Instead it was his brother…
Jay didn't really wanna talk to Will right now, so he ignored him at first. But his phone kept on ringing, showing Will's caller ID again. Jay sighed. He knew that if he didn't take the call, his tenacious brother would just keep on calling. Was it possible that he already knew?

"Jay? What the hell man!" His brother greeted him not very friendly, when he finally picked up.

So he guessed he had already heard! Who else had, Jay wondered?
It wasn't like they had put up "Missing person" signs just yet. Did he have to call Stella? What about her mum, her dad? Anyone else? No, no… they would find her in time, this wouldn't be necessary, would it? They wouldn't have to make any notifications… Or had they indeed put out the information over the news? Had Voight said anything about that? Jay was a little shocked that he couldn't remember that with certainty. It was like his memory was a little spotty.
He cleared his throat to at least keep his voice steady, when his hands weren't:

"What? What is it, Will? I'm a little busy…"

"Yeah, I heard! But why didn't I hear it from you? Why did Natalie have to tell me, who's been asked by a social worker in here, if she heard any news about the kidnapping of her sister-in-law? I don't understand, man!"

'Because telling people makes this nightmare more real and I can't deal with that at the moment!'

The answer was right there on his tongue, but Jay didn't say any of that, he just stuck to his professional armor and gave his brother an abbreviated and supposedly neutral version of the events.

"Jay, I'm sure it's gonna be fine," Will tried to assure him.

That was exactly what he didn't nee right now: Half-assed words of comfort, when he could feel everyone's shiftlessness so very clearly. Jay continued walking up and down an invisible line on the floor while his brother still kept talking:

"She's strong, you know that. And nothing's gonna happen to your…"

"Will! I can't think about that right now!" he snapped at him.

He really couldn't deal with anyone else saying it. All those fears were looming loud enough in his own head. Jay quickly blinked to keep his eyes from getting watery. He needed to focus. He wasn't just her husband, he was a detective with Intelligence, he had the experience to solve this!

"Okay, I'm sorry! Just… don't do anything stupid!" Will warned but Jay quickly cut his brother off: "I'll call you if anything changes…"

Still listening to the sound of the connection break, Will wished he could do more than make a phone call to check on his sibling. But he knew his bullheaded brother wouldn't let him take care of him right now. Jay needed to steer clear of any emotional bonds to stay focused and not admit that this was his absolute worst case scenario. Because, how would he ever recover from losing the love of his life?

And Rianne was exactly that: the love of his little brother's life.

Will could still hear the breathless: "Oh my God," Jay had breathed out, when he'd first laid eyes on his bride on their wedding day…

September 12th, 2020:

"Could it be that you're actually nervous? You, Jay Halstead?"

He'd never seen his brother fidget around so much in his entire life. He kept bouncing his feet and wiping his hands on his fine dark blue dress pants.

"Well, what did you expect?" he snorted and arranged his teal colored bowtie for what felt like the 100th time.

Will shook his head in amusement, though he couldn't deny being a little nervous too.
There weren't many witnesses of the 'first look' Jay and Rianne shared on their wedding day.
Against common tradition, Rianne had insisted on meeting up with only their best man and maid of honor, including their dates, present and then walking up to their wedding arch together.
Will knew that her and Jay had actually had a lot of discussions with what traditions to stick and with which ones to break. And this one had been one of Rianne's demands:

'Break with a stupid patriarchal thing' that the woman was to be led to the altar by her father, and 'given away' to her husband.

Jay'd had a suspicion that it was also a decision motivated by self-preservation and Will shared that notion. Because who could say if Rianne's father would show up this time around?
But even though her father was indeed here today, as was her whole Argentinian family, her cousins, her aunt and uncle from L. A., as well as her mother, who'd especially flown in from Amsterdam, Rianne hadn't changed her mind about wanting to do it 'their' way.
Just like this whole wedding was mainly about 'them' and what they wanted: To celebrate their love and the end of summer with all of their friends. A love that her and Jay had found only a year ago, but that had very quickly become the most important thing in their lives and that had certainly inspired everyone around them to a certain degree.

When looking for the perfect location, they had eventually decided on having the wedding party at an Italian villa venue on the shores of Lake Michigan. It originally served as a museum and was inspired by a sixteenth-century Italian villa. Being at this location felt like being transported to the Mediterranean, although the weather with barely 70 degrees, made them remember that it was actually the middle of September, 94,2 miles outside of central Chicago and not Tuscany.
His brother had taken a step back, letting his wife choose whatever the hell she wanted for them, for her dream wedding, as long as she would say: 'I do' in the end. Jay would have gotten married at city hall, in a barn, in a taxi, he didn't need anything fancy, he just needed them to make it official and not wait another minute longer.
Will had to admit though that the lush green gardens and grounds, as well as the terrace for the wedding reception, set against the worn brick facade of the villa, long farm tables covered in grey tablecloths, under strands of string lights overhead, a view of Lage Michigan in the distance, were spectacular in its natural simplicity and elegance. And he agreed with Rianne when she'd said that they deserved something special, something to remember, something nice.

A whisper of the wind from off the lake made the twinkling, light golden wedding-dress, made of a mirrored fabric of sequins, waft around her slender figure, when Rianne appeared with Stella and Kelly by her side, slowly walking up to Jay, Natalie, Owen and him.
Of course she had decided against wearing a veil. Just her natural curls held together by loose braids, no flowers, no glittery hair clips, nothing but a radiant smile on a subtly made up face.
Whereas his brother was too tongue-tied to even speak when she'd closed the distance between them, Rianne covered up her nervousness by grabbing his brother's face, whispering a husky "Goddammit, you're a hot mess!", before pressing her lips to his for a desperate and pretty indecent kiss, not caring about any lipstick smears, because she actually wasn't wearing any.

They both shakily and excitedly held on to each other up until the moment they exchanged rings and were declared husband and wife in front of whooping friends and family member's.
How Jay looked up at his bride … with bright eyes, an other-worldly expression on his face, like she was his saving angel. And maybe Rianne was just that for him: A light at the end of a sometimes too dark road…

25 hours earlier:

"If you want money, I can get you money, just please… let me go!"

It was like she was talking to a wall, there just was no response.

The young guy had come back eventually and cut the ties around her knees, hoisted her up and was leading her through some dark corridors now, until they stopped by a dirty, incredibly small room with no doors, where someone had put up a smeary tub, probably made for mixing concrete.

Rianne guessed this was where she was supposed to be doing her business.

"Hurry up…" The man mumbled in her back, much too close to her ear for her liking, so that she could feel his warm breath on her neck. It gave her goose-bumps, not the good kind.

Her legs felt pretty wobbly from being bound in that bend position for hours now, but she made the few steps up to the tub with more confidence than she felt. When she turned around and looked at the man waiting in the doorway though, she saw that he now was fiddling with a gun in his hand. She hadn't noticed him carrying a weapon before, and as a result her heart-rate spiked up immediately. So there really was no use trying to make a run for it. She'd be dead before she even took five steps.

Rianne tried to reach the seam of her pants to pull them down. Thank God for elastic jeans, but her hands were bound together to tightly that it was absolutely impossible. She couldn't even get to them and was only hurting herself more.

Peeing her pants suddenly didn't sound quite so bad, especially, when Rianne thought about how that strange man would have to help her. He would have to touch her, because he certainly didn't look like he would cut her loose. Tears sprang to her eyes again.

Would she have to beg him to pull down her jeans? Rianne didn't trust her voice to not break right now, but thankfully the guy became aware of her struggles, took a step towards her and pulled down her pants in one swift movement. He just got it done without lingering, or unnecessarily touching her skin and Rianne had never been more grateful for small mercies or the fact that her sweater was so long that it touched her upper thighs, so she didn't feel quite as exposed. Still her waist tingled unpleasantly from the contact with her kidnapper's fingers.

He was avoiding eye contact and took two steps back, shouldering the doorway again, gun brandished. She couldn't really be sure, but something told her that this situation was at least to some degree as awkward for him as it was for her. At closer inspection he couldn't be much older than 20. How had he gotten into being her prison guard or whatever?

"Could you… turn around?" Of course he wouldn't, but as a matter of principle, Rianne just had to at least ask, when she found her voice again. She didn't even like to take a leak in front of Jay.

Finally giving up and squatting over the tub, she tried to concentrate on the pressing need to relieve her bladder and take comfort in the fact that, as soon as she'd managed to forget all having to pee in front of someone who had taken her hostage and was holding her at gun-point, and just let go, the cramps in her lower abdomen were easing up a little.

She suddenly wondered what had happened to her personal belongings, her backpack? It had files with personal information about her clients in it. They were confidential… What a stupid thing to think about now, when she didn't even know if she would ever get out of here again. No, she had to think positive! She would get out of here, this had to be a misunderstanding, right?

Rianne took one last relieved look at her panties before she gave the watchdog opposite her a sign that she was done. He had begun to shuffle his feet nervously and kept stealing glances down the corridor. Before he had fully pulled up her jeans again, there were suddenly heavy footsteps to be heard and then another man, slightly older, with broader shoulders and at least ten inches taller, appeared in the doorway.

"I'll take over now!"

Rianne didn't know if it was the certain aura of fear the younger man was radiating or the look the new guy gave her when he took in her still almost pant-less state. All she knew deep in her heart was that she was in real trouble now…

The call from his brother had only been a tiny interruption, he still had listened to every word that was exchanged on the other side of the two-way-mirror.

And even though Jay didn't want to believe it, there was this sinking feeling in his stomach that Nate was telling the truth. He didn't have anything to do with this. He was as shocked about the current events as they all were and he claimed he'd been at a first meeting with his probation officer at the time of the offense. Jay had seen a lot of people lie in the interrogation room, Nate Ruzek wasn't one of them. And he hated it.

Voight suddenly coming in to stand beside him and saying: "His alibi was just confirmed by his probation officer. Seems bullet-proof," felt like a big punch to his gut.

Jay didn't say a thing, he couldn't, because his feelings were choking him. He couldn't even breathe properly. This had been their only lead so far. He kept racking his brain what else could be the reason behind this crazy nonsense, but he kept coming up empty. It was like his otherwise so sharp mind was manipulated by panic and just kept screaming:

"No, no, no! This is just a joke!" at him.

He just needed to be alone, somewhere to focus, without everybody watching him in that concerned and sympathetic way. Like they all thought he was a pitiful, poor thing. Like they all already knew that this wouldn't go over well. Like they knew he had to crack at some point.

Unfortunately he ran right into Nate, Adam and Hailey, when they left the interrogation room, ready to release their suspect. They had no real evidence and thereby no reason to hold him any longer. Even more unfortunately Nate chose to address Jay:

"Look, I'm so sorry, Jay! But I would never have done anything to hurt her. Especially now that you guys are ex…"

Adam's cousin made a step towards him, a little limb in his right leg, where the bullet had hit him back in 2019. Jay felt a shiver run down his neck and he made a sidestep to avoid being anywhere near Nate, while hissing:

"Don't talk to me! And I don't want you to talk about us, Rianne or our family, ever…"

"But I wanna help!" Amber eyes were looking at him pleadingly.

If he had been in a different state of mind Jay would maybe have thought that Nate seemed to be a changed man after over a year in that institution, but he wasn't.
So instead Jay almost spit an:

"You can't!" at him and hurried to push past the group and look for a little more privacy in the locker room.

He needed to get a grip. But all he could think about was what was at stake…

"Let's see, what's underneath all those layers, eh?"

Instead of helping her pull up the rest of her jeans and bring her back into the original room, the second man had pushed her up against one of the walls of the tiny room. A cold and calloused hand now stroking her face and letting her hair run through his fingers. Rianne's head made a sudden and painful contact with cold bricks as she tried to lean away.

"Please, it's not too late. Nothing happened, you can still let me go!"

Should she tell him that she was a police officer's, a detective's wife? Would that help or get her into even more trouble? Rianne couldn't be sure as long as she didn't know the reason behind her being here, so she kept her mouth shut.
It was as if he wasn't even listening to a word she was saying and just kept roaming her body with his eyes and unfortunately his hands as well.
The fact that Rianne could do nothing about that disgusting piece of shit feeling her up, exposing her body by rucking up her wide, woolen sweater, was just humiliating. She couldn't even scream, because she was too afraid of what he might do to her, if she did. Rianne felt dangerously close to suffocating from fear, shame and disgust. She had to concentrate on her breathing to not start hyperventilating.

"Oh look, such nice curves…" The S.O.B hesitated, and for a second Rianne hoped that he just wanted to scare her and let her go now, but the sudden gleam in his eyes told her otherwise:

"Well girl, you don't know how hard this makes me!" He pushed a calloused hand up under her shirt, making contact with bare skin.

Panic was pressing on her chest as he pressed his lower body into her hip bone. She didn't even want to think about if it was his erection she was feeling, or just another gun in his jeans pocket, and which option she'd prefer. He was breathing her in, running his nose down her throat, his right hand grabbing her ass, only covered by the thin fabric of her panties.
Rianne closed her eyes and grunted in frustration, leaning away from that foreign, bearded face, his foreign, slightly unwashed smell. She already felt so besmirched and defiled that she wanted to puke again. Maybe if she kicked him hard enough he would stop, but what then? Her hands would still be bound and there was no escape. And she rather didn't want to risk getting seriously beaten up or shot. Not when she was this defenseless. It was way too dangerous. So instead she began to pray…

"We're losing the van after…. Can't really recreate where it came from. This is a dead…," he could partly hear Atwater call out to the team or whoever was in the hallway with him.

To Jay it felt like another punch in the gut.
First his fist connected with some metal cabinets, then he tried walking off his agitation, before splashing some cold water into his face. None of it helped. Not really! Jay still felt like he couldn't think straight. Why? Why today of all days, when they'd been so happy just this morning? Why at all? Why was someone trying to punish him again? Just when he'd thought he had it all…

November 18th 2020:

Jay would have thought that the scene at the warehouse this morning, the images of gunned down children and teens, as well as bodies, faces with tortured expressions and empty eyes, victims of drug-overdoses, would keep him up all night. Instead he'd been out like a light as soon as he and Rianne had gotten comfortable in bed, bodies entangled, closer than close like usual. She had never really changed her habit of sleeping almost on top of him, and up until now he had never gotten tired of it. Especially after terrible days like this one, it always was a welcome insurance that she got him, she kept the nightmares away and his body and heart warm.

Jay had fallen into a pretty deep and dreamless slumber, but after a while he noticed Rianne's body beside him getting restless and moving away from him. Subconsciously he could feel her getting up at least twice and keeping her distance when she got back into bed.
At one point he had enough of her tossing and turning. Something was keeping her up and he pulled her warm body into his chest.

"What's up?" he mumbled and pressed a sleepy kiss in the soft hollow behind her ear.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you…"

"I could hear you thinking really hard about something in my dreams. Got me curious…"

"Very funny…" Rianne snorted, but her voice had a bitter edge to it.

"So? Why're you not sleeping?"

She sighed, deeply… Like the whole world was weighing on her shoulders.

"Come on, babe! Spit it out!"

If she was still worried about the case from this morning, about what she had seen at the warehouse, he wanted her to talk to him about it. Those things were bound to haunt even the toughest ones. He switched on his bedside lamp to be able to see her eyes. They always gave her away before anything else did.
When Rianne still wasn't saying anything and her frown got deeper instead, Jay nudged her carefully:

"Someone once told me, that you have to form actual words with your mouth…"

She had been that someone, so finally Rianne decided to share her thoughts with him: "I'm wondering, if my vomiting at the crime scene this morning had only partly to do with what I saw there…"

"So, you think you might be sick?"

"Or…"

"Or?" He really wanted her to say it, although he guessed that part of her felt like she'd be jinxing herself by saying it out loud.

Rianne was superstitious like hell, a thing she always blamed on her Argentinian heritage.

"Pregnant?" It was more a question than an answer, as if he could be the one to determine it.

Jay raised his eyebrows at her, as if he found that hard to believe, but he guessed it was his small smirk that was giving him away. Like lightning he was up and went into the bathroom, only to return a second later with a small package in his hand that he then tossed her:

"Only one way to find out!" crossing his arms over his chest he was now openly smirking down at his wife. His wife maybe carrying his child…

Picking up the package, she had to notice that it was an early pregnancy test. Rianne was taken aback for a second. She hadn't bought these…

"When… Did you buy these?"

"Yeah, I did. Yesterday I think?"

"Why?"

"Just a feeling…"

And when she was still staring at him incredulously Jay added: "Guess your witchy ways are rubbing off on me…"

Although he guessed it was just plain old combining facts, something he was naturally and professionally good at. They hadn't been using protection since a few weeks before their wedding, but just kept having sex whenever they felt like it. Rianne didn't want to stick to any kind of 'baby making' plans. No pressure! They'd agreed that if it happened, it happened and if not they had plenty of time to try again and again. Still Jay had noticed that Rianne had been a little bummed that up until now she'd always gotten her period, over-punctual and right on time. This time however Jay had noticed that she at least had to be a week too late, because it had been a while since he'd seen all the tell-tale signs in their bathroom. And she'd been feeling a little under the weather for the last few days. Nauseous, tired, unfocused. So he'd bought these tests on a whim, hoping that she would bring up the topic herself and he would be prepared, if she wasn't.

Rianne wasn't moving, only kept staring at the test in her hands. He noticed that they were slightly trembling. This was a big deal for her. And he guessed she was contemplating, if she could deal with the disappointment, if the test came back negative. She needed a little nudge and someone who was confident for both of them:

"Now go pee on it!" Jay urged her.

He actually had a good feeling about this, like he'd had the night he guessed this must have happened, if his assumptions were indeed correct.

"But it's the middle of the night…" Rianne still protested weakly.

"And? We're awake anyway and there's no way we're going back to sleep until you've taken that test!"

At least he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now. Knowing Rianne and her way to sometimes ignore everything and fall asleep over extreme chaos in her head, she probably could have. So Jay was pretty relieved to finally see her get up and throw him an extremely annoyed look over her shoulder, before she disappeared into the adjoined bathroom.

Rianne guessed she had always been lucky to not fall victim to any kind of predator. Extremely lucky, considering who she worked with on a daily basis, where she worked and what city she lived in. But she had always been protected in some way. Now she wasn't quite so sure how this one would turn out, as she was still being groped and touched where she didn't want to and pressed to a wall, unable to protect herself.
The sound of the zipper on his jeans was her clue to disconnect herself from her body, from any kind of feelings. This would be the end of her.

But then the man was suddenly pulled back by a massive hand on his shoulder: "Stop it E! Boss says to come into his office!"

So there were three guys now? A fourth, if one counted in 'the boss'? Rianne was trying very hard to concentrate on putting the pieces together rather than that toad's hand on her ass, still about to pull away the elastic band on her panties:

"Yeah, I'm right behind you. Just wanted to have a little fun first!" he grunted a little breathless.

"Right now!" The other man, who's face was partly hidden by a pulled down baseball-cap demanded.

"You're not in charge here!"

"I know, but it's a direct order! She is not to be touched!" The new guy spoke through gritted teeth and under his breath.

It was only when the meaning of those words sank into Rianne's conscious mind that she realized he had been speaking Italian.

"What the fuck? Why the hell not?"

"Don't know, but I suggest you better let her go!"

When she was roughly pushed to the floor and left alone again, tears of relief and frustration, sprang to her eyes. Rianne knew she needed to keep her fear under control, but after experiencing just how helpless she really was and realizing that they could do anything to her and she couldn't do a thing about it, it was a pretty steep ask.

November 18th 2020:

"Jay? Can you please go and take a look? I'm way too nervous…"

While she got back into bed and under the covers, Jay went into the bathroom, where she'd left the test on the bathtub. Hiding her head under a pillow, Rianne tried to drown out any sounds and thoughts, but her heart was actually galloping away.
She was used to solving tricky situations and problems on her own, being strong for herself and keeping it together. So it was an incredible gift to have someone by her side this time. Someone she could rely on and who would do anything to protect and support her. Even though she didn't know how she'd react to the result of the test, Rianne knew Jay got her. She even suspected that he knew that she had been lying to herself about being okay with not getting pregnant any time soon. She really wasn't, or rather every period was reason to believe that there was something wrong with her after all, even if all the doctor's had cleared her.

The more time passed, the harder Rianne's heart was pounding: Why was he so quiet in there? Didn't Jay know how to read the test, or didn't he know how to break the bad news to her after all? Did he have to deal with his own disappointment first?

Then she heard feet shuffling back into the room, a surprised laugh and Jay's voice: "You chicken! Are you seriously hiding under the covers right now?"

"No…," Rianne mumbled, not very convincingly, considering that she of course was doing exactly that.

The pillow she had been pressing her face into, was pried off of her and Jay reached for her cheek. His beautiful green eyes were dead serious, when he said:

"I was right!"

Rianne looked at him a little confused: "Right about what?"

She wasn't sure which answer she would find harder to process right now. Pregnant, or not pregnant? His broad smile gave her the answer before his words did:

"That you're fucking pregnant, babe!"

"Are you sure?"

Not bothering to answer her question with words, Jay held the test under her nose:

"If I'm not mistaken, it's actually spelled out! And I'm pretty sure this one says: 'pregnant'! Or else I might be dyslexic!"

"Oh, shit!"

"Is that a good 'shit' or a bad 'shit'?"

When the door to the room opened and closed, he didn't need to look behind him to know that it was Hailey. He was tempted to say that he was fine and that she should get back to work, but the words got stuck in Jay's throat. No, he wasn't fine at all!
His partner didn't need to say a thing. She just needed to be in here with him, to make him feel all vulnerable and helpless. Hailey knew what was going through his head right now and he didn't know, if he liked it. Especially now that he was so close to losing it completely.

"Hailey, this can't be happening…," Jay breathed, more towards the mirror in front of him than to her.

It seemed that his friend had no words of consolation for him either. She just offered him a rare hug, which he took. Not for too long though, because otherwise he was too afraid to crumble before her eyes. And he couldn't cry and sob on her shoulder, he still needed to focus on how to get his wife, his one true family back!

"I, … I keep seeing her, thinking she's gonna call me any minute. Telling me that she's fine."

If he wasn't mistaken there were tears of compassion shining in Hailey's blue orbs: "Jay, I'm… I'm so sorry. But we'll get her back. Voight's gonna talk to the district commissioner and we'll get more resources, we're gonna recreate the timeline, there will be an explanation for all this! Maybe someone will demand a ransom after all!"

She didn't want to let him see that she was grasping at straws as well. Jay appreciated it, but he knew as well as she did, that if they didn't find a lead soon, it wasn't looking too good.

"I… I went through her phone, Hailey! There's nothing even remotely off, or suspicious. I don't know what else we should look into… I should know how to go about this, right? I'm her husband, I'm a detective… But I feel completely lost and useless. It's like I can't wrap my head around the fact that this is…"

Going through Rianne's text messages and contacts had felt weird, but he'd hoped that something close to an explanation would have popped up. He knew her! They told each other everything. Well, almost everything, but he would have known, if she had any beef with anyone or received any threats.

"That this is real? Jay, don't beat yourself up! Nobody expects you to solve this by yourself! We're all here for you!"

"I want this. I wanna try again. I want all of this with you and no matter how much it hurts, if something goes wrong again: I know I won't have to do it alone anymore. So, I guess I can do this."

"We can do this! We're in this together this time, Rianne!"

He had promised her that when they had found out about the pregnancy! He'd been so excited and had pressed her to him so tightly that they had both been struggling to breathe properly. But now? How could he protect his wife and their child, when he didn't even know where they were and who was holding them hostage?

AN: Thank you for reading. So happy how well the last chapter was received! More reviews and thoughts are of course always appreciated!