Setting: Shortly following the events in "Bastille Day".
Spoilers: Up through episode 1.03.
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Day 12
I met Tom Zarek today. In many ways, he's very much like I imagined him to be when I read his book, "Voices from the Other Side." I'd heard Zarek's name a few times while I was growing up - an occasional mention on the evening news that I never paid much attention to. I was still just a kid and not much interested in world events when he was convicted and sentenced to prison for his crimes. Sports and comic books were still more my speed. After his conviction, little was mentioned of him outside of Sagitarron. To most Capricans he dropped out of sight altogether and was mostly forgotten.
Then in my criminal psychology class at college he became the point of discussion for a few days. The focus of the discussion was what makes a man step over the edge from being the people's champion to becoming a terrorist who kills with no regard for the innocent lives that he destroys. One of my classmates mentioned to the professor that he had heard that Tom Zarek had written a book during his incarceration and expressed an interest in reading it – for clinical purposes, of course. The professor was quite critical of that suggestion and made it clear to all of us that Tom Zarek's book was nothing more than anarchistic propaganda, and it was banned from the campus. Anyone found reading that book could land in a heap of trouble. Naturally I was intrigued and found a copy of the book at an independent bookseller during my next weekend at home. I remember the look on the bookseller's face, seeing me in full ROTC uniform, asking about a book infamous for its passionately critical views of the Colonial government. I think that he half-expected to be arrested in a sting operation if he sold me the book, but while the book was banned from all government facilities and college campuses, private citizens could not be punished for exercising their right of free speech... except on Sagitarron.
I had to be careful about when and where I read it... which I must admit was part of the fun of it... but I found Zarek's book to be very thought-provoking. I had never given much thought before to the differences in regional policies from colony to colony. Caprica had always prided itself on being an all-inclusive society where all citizens are treated equally, but we also were guilty of not giving much consideration to whether or not our brothers and sisters on other colonies shared the same freedoms. There was a pervasive apathy about it that just encouraged people to look the other way. If the Sagitarrons weren't happy, nothing was stopping them from going elsewhere, so why should Capricans worry about it? Until I read Zarek's book, I didn't much worry about it either.
Things have changed greatly over the last 20 years and many of the exclusionary laws, which oppressed some citizens of Sagitarron, have been abolished. Even so, I can't fault Sagitarrons, Zarek included, for their lingering anger. Zarek defined his life by speaking out against the injustices his people suffered, and for that I could not help but admire his courage and principled fortitude. His motives were justified, though ultimately his means were not. Perhaps it was desperation that drove him to cross the line, but when innocent lives become inconsequential you can no longer claim to be championing anyone's cause but your own notoriety. You can not fight for "freedom" without respect for the value of human life.
So, it was with greatly mixed emotions that I sat down, face to face, to speak with Tom Zarek this morning on the prison transport, Astral Queen. I was very nervous, though I think I managed to hide it pretty well. He started off playing the submissive, well-trained prisoner routine, which I didn't buy for a minute. He was trying to feel me out, get inside my head and see where I was coming from. It was obvious to me that he had all other prisoners beguiled, and when I sat down with him and met him eye-to-eye, I could see why. There is a charisma surrounding him that makes him a natural leader. He was eloquent, well-spoken, and has a way of commanding your attention without words. He is not physically imposing, but there is something undeniably powerful about him. I knew he was the key to obtaining the cooperation of the other prisoners in the water acquisition effort that the fleet so desperately needs. The others would follow his lead, whichever way he chose to go. He proved me right, but not in the way I expected. I thought I would either achieve his cooperation, or just be told to frak off. I never expected to be taken hostage.
What Zarek did next actually surprised me more than the armed takeover of the Astral Queen. When the other prisoners had me pinned down and were pummeling me senseless, I thought I was dead. (Hey, I did take out 5 of them before their numbers overwhelmed me.) But instead of killing me, or locking me into a cell, Zarek had me brought to the control room so that he could talk to me. He didn't even bother to tie me up or to keep a gun on me. I guess there wasn't much point in that. I could have easily taken him out with my bare hands, but then what? With 1,500 armed and pissed off felons outside the control room door, wasting Zarek would have been tantamount to suicide, and I wasn't the only hostage. Billy Keikeya, PO Dualla, and Crewman Specialist Cally would all have been killed too. So it all came right back to Zarek and I finding a meeting of the minds. But instead of me trying to persuade him to cooperate on behalf of the fleet, he seemed to want to persuade me to understand his actions. I'm still not sure why he bothered. He had a plan that really didn't require my cooperation. He wanted to bring down the government, now run by President Roslin and my father. He thought he could achieve that by forcing Galactica's marines into an assault that would end in a total massacre of everyone on board the Astral Queen. It was insane. But why did he want me to understand what he was doing?
It's clear to me that Zarek wanted to die. The Holocaust has traumatized us all, and the prisoners are no different in that regard. Zarek spent his life's energy striving for freedom for his people only to see his world... and all hope... obliterated by the Cylons while he sat helplessly behind bars. But after being a champion in his own mind for so long, Zarek couldn't just commit simple suicide by hanging or some other mundane means. He couldn't conceive of his death serving no purpose. So he turned his desperate venom against Laura Roslin. She's the President. It doesn't matter that he has no quarrel with her, or that she has never done anything to warrant his enmity. Hell, she hasn't even been in office for two weeks yet! But if Tom Zarek goes down, he must go down fighting the government, whatever form that may take.
So, he contrived his hate against Laura Roslin, little knowing that he already owed her his life. Before the fleet escaped from the Colonies, the Queen's pilot was inclined to space all the prisoners rather than expend precious resources sustaining 1,500 dangerous criminals. President Roslin prevented that from happening, demanding constant reports on the fair-treatment of the prisoners. It was also because of her that the prisoners were not forced (as my father wanted) to participate in the work crews obtaining the water from the ice moon. She demanded that their efforts should be completely voluntary and that they receive compensation in the way of freedom points for their participation. I doubt it would have made any difference to Zarek if he'd known that the President was in fact his benefactor, not his oppressor. The man had a death wish, and logic and reason were not factors in his actions. With citizens panicking over the shortage of water throughout the fleet, they may have welcomed the news that they wouldn't have to share precious rations with murders and rapists. Just as revealing was the fact that he was completely willing to take all 1,500 of his followers down with him. Those other prisoners certainly had no idea that Zarek intended to get them all killed. They trusted him. Hell, they damn near worship him. And a bloodbath was how he intended to reward them for their loyalty.
But why did he want me to know what he was attempting to do? Why did he want me to understand? Why was he trying to understand me?
I can only assume that in some way he wanted another way out. He couldn't go on living under the current conditions aboard the Astral Queen, but he also knew that he was taking an unjustifiable and desperate turn... and wanted someone to give him an alternative. When he learned that I had read his book in spite of the fact it was forbidden, and told him that I respected him for his principles, he thought I might be able to give him some means of hope. And when I gave him a choice, he did take it... though in fact I offered him very little.
I wonder if it has dawned on him yet that our bargain was not much of a compromise at all. Zarek and the other prisoners are now in control of the Astral Queen, but aside from their "freedom" to move about the ship, they still have the very same living arrangements available to them that they did before. They can't leave the ship. They are dependent on the fleet for food and fuel, so they can't go off on their own. They will be doing all the hard labor of acquiring the water from the moon. And even my "agreement" to hold elections within a year was nothing more than an enforcement of President Roslin's existing legal term of office. The only thing that I truly gave Tom Zarek was hope. Perhaps that was all he really wanted.
But what happens next? I have no doubt that he will be working with his men to earn his freedom points, and since he is already near the end of his sentenced prison term, he may be released into the fleet very soon. But is he ready to rejoin society? Zarek has fallen very far. His recognition for the value of human life is questionable at best. He was willing to stand by and watch while an innocent girl was raped and murdered, even claiming that her brutal treatment was fair retribution. "You reap what you sow," he told me. How could anyone of decent conscience have said that? I believe he had it in him once to be an extraordinary person. A true champion. But who... or what... is he now? Can a man really fall so far and ever find his way back?