Sorry for the lack of updating, but my life hit a really hectic time what with graduation and such. Please continue to review my work. I really do appreciate comments and constructive criticism.

Okay, this goes a bit beyond my actual experience, but the general feelings are the same. Oh, by the way, Chidsuru is an original character. I've only read up to volume 11 and they haven't introduced a secretary. Sorry for any confusion I may have caused.

There was a rather annoying sound pulling me out of my thoughts as I sat at my desk. Once again the voice in the back of my head had refused me the luxury of a peaceful nights rest so I had opted to do some more work on the festival. I was trying to figure out a small irritating detail when I suddenly heard a rather loud and obnoxious sound coming from somewhere in my room. After a quick inspection I found that it was my alarm clock signaling me that it was time to wake up. I had just spent the entire night working on this damn festival with absolutely no sleep. Great. I rolled my eyes and shut off the infernal clock. I proceeded to glare at it for a few seconds before giving up the futile effort to gain some extra sleep. My recent use of the alarm clock was to be up and gone before Honda-san had a chance to tell me that breakfast was ready. That one simple breakfast had been enough to tell me that I would not survive another meal with Shigure, Kyo, and her. This meant that I was going to have to deal with a severe lack of food along with my exhaustion, but any physical pain was better than a meal with that much emotional distress. I couldn't take it. I went into autopilot to get dressed. My mind still running through the detail I was trying to figure out. Exaclty how were we going to keep an eye on all of the displays with minimal faculty involvement? We could always have the homeroom teachers act as an advisor for the booth, but somehow that wasn't appealing. I finished tying my tie in autopilot and realized that it looked worse than usual. Again I cursed whoever had decided men should wear ties. This morning it took me twelve tries until it looked acceptable. This was getting dangerously close to my record of seventeen tries. I stuffed the papers I had been working on into my bag unceremoniously and looked back at the clock. Honda-san should be in the kitchen. I'll give her a small farewell before leaving. That stupid cat shouldn't be in there. I made my way down the stairs and stopped by the kitchen. Honda-san was rushing around the kitchen keeping her eye on several different dishes. There was a pang in my heart as I realized she was probably waiting for Kyo to come and help her. "Honda-san, I have to get going." She whirled around to face me with a worry filling her eyes.

"But, Yuki-kun, you haven't had any breakfast. Can you wait just a few minutes? It should be ready soon." I felt like crap right then. She looked up at me studying my face. I shook my head and pulled my bag further up onto my shoulders.

"I can't. I have to do some more work for the festival. I'll grab something on my way." I came up with this lie rather quickly and prayed to every deity I could think of that she bought it. Fortunately for me, she was overly trusting and believed the weak excuse.

"Alright, but you will be home for dinner, right? We missed you last night." I stopped dead in my tracks. Last night I had stayed as late as I could at school and then came home and locked myself into my room claiming that I wasn't hungry and would get something later. Did she really care if I was there or not? I gave myself a mental slap. Of course she didn't. She was just saying that because she didn't want me to feel bad that they really enjoyed my absence. I put on my fake smile for her.

"We'll see. I've got a lot of work to do with the festival." With that said I made my way to the door. No one stopped me and I began the trip to school. In reality, I did not have to do any of the work I was doing, but it felt good to have some sort of escape. Checking to see if I was alone on the street I looked down at my wrist. During the night I had managed to cut it even deeper than before and it had been most satisfying. The thoughts returned of just how easy it would be to end it all. No one would miss me. No one would care. Hell, they'd probably rejoice at my departure. I stuck my hand into my pocket as I walked in an attempt to look normal. I felt a cool metal surface touch my hand. My eyes widened as I realized what it was. My knife. Somehow while I was getting dressed this morning I had slipped my knife into my pants. It was strangely calming to know that it was there. The voice in the back of my head began to explain its presence. I felt comfort in knowing that it was there in case I ever made the decision. The voice sounded so familiar, but I just couldn't place it. My fingers gently caressed the cool metal as I continued my walk to school.

"Yuki-san, what are you doing here so early?" Yamaoka-san's voice pulled me out of my own thoughts. I had gone into the building and had just walked into the council room when it reached my ears. I looked up at her and found a strange look on her face. Her eyes were greener than usual and full of confusion. "I thought I was the only one to ever show up this early." I shrugged my shoulders and set my bag down on my desk. As I pulled out my papers I noticed that she was staring at something in her hands.

"What is that?" I asked, for once actually curious. The look on her face was what really startled me. The sad and almost lost look in her eyes as she stared down at the paper worried me. What could cause someone to look like that? She turned her gaze to me and I saw a small hint of sadness and anger mingled in with worry. I was caught off guard and I stopped messing with the papers.

"I'm actually glad you came in early today." She said with her usual tone. This would be the one she reserved for scolding me for neglecting paperwork, or Manabe-san for being Manabe-san. "I developed my pictures last night and wanted to ask you about one of them." I felt a small wave of panic well up inside me. There was nothing to worry about. I almost begged myself to believe that statement. This panic was strange. There was nothing that could be in pictures that Yamaoka-san had that would cause this sort of panic. "Are you feeling alright, Yuki-san?" I stared at her.

"Of course." I lied with a bright smile on my face. It was met with complete disbelief. Shit. The panic was beginning to rise. What was it that she had in those pictures? She stood up and came over to my desk. I stared at her as she slowly made her way before she stopped and held out the picture to me.

"If you are alright then explain to me why you look so sad and lost in this picture." This tone was new. I had never heard it from her or anyone, for that matter. Very carefully I took the picture and examined it. It was the picture from yesterday, the one she had taken after my emergency meeting with the faculty. My eyes widened with fear as I saw what she was questioning. My guard had slipped the moment she had taken the picture. The expression in my eyes radiated complete depression. My breath stopped and I couldn't take any air in whatsoever. I had been caught. That was exactly what had happened. After all that I had done to protect myself from exposure a simple picture and forced a spotlight onto me. This was the worst, even worse than people finding out about the curse. "Yuki-san, what is going on?" Again her tone caught me off guard, but I still couldn't say anything. My mind was still running the same record of thoughts. I'm caught. There is no escape. I have to escape. I gave myself a mental headshake and tried to come up with a rational reason to explain that. An idea suddenly struck me. It was a long shot, but it was all I had.

"It was just a really bad morning." I said carefully. "I told you that I couldn't sleep and that was when I did my work on the proposal." Knowing there was no way she would believe that I avoided eye contact as I handed her back the picture. "Just a bad morning. I'm alright now." My walls were back and I gave her my best smile, still avoiding eye contact. I didn't want to give her the chance to question that so I made my way to the door. "I have something to do really quick. I'll be right back." With that, I made my escape. Somewhere, anywhere, I didn't care. I had to get away. The knife in my pocket was calling to me, begging me to escape all of this trouble. It was such a simple answer and I wondered why it hadn't occurred to me before how easily I could solve my problem. Before I knew it I was on the roof of the school. Although most of the people I knew tended to hang out up here it was actually the perfect place. No one would come up here until lunch at the earliest and that should be plenty of time. I leaned against the wall and slid down to sit. My hand slid into my pocket to retrieve the knife. Right now I thanked my autopilot for thinking ahead and placing it there. I made the first cut, not too deep because right now I still wanted just to see the blood. It was so beautiful. The color once again drew my attention away from everything. The crimson blood slowly coming from my wrist hypnotized me. I didn't realize how long I had been staring at it until I noticed the flow was beginning to let up. A small noise of disappointment came up into my throat and surprised me. This was it. I knew that now was the perfect time. I could watch as all of that beautiful crimson liquid spilled from my body and lulled me into the darkness. There was no hesitation as I brought the knife down to my wrist again. This cut was long and deep and I felt a deep satisfaction as the blood began to pour out of me. It was a great contrast to the small stream I was used to, this was a flood. I closed my eyes briefly to concentrate on the pain for a brief second. It was something I deserved, something I craved. My attention returned to the blood. Once again I was in awe that something so amazing was coming from me and in such abundance. The trance was unbreakable and I felt myself slip away with a small voice calling out to me.

"Yuki-san!" In my half-conscious mind I had no idea who would call me and why they would want to pull me out of something so amazing. My consciousness finally left me and I was left in the darkness that was always around me.

And I'll leave it at that. Please don't worry and think I'll leave you at that for the same amount of time that I did before. I told you that was a fluke and I'm already working on the next chapter. I'll get it up ASAP so don't worry. Please review, I know I'm begging, but they keep me confident that people are reading my stories and then I continue to be motivated to write them.