A/N: This little blurb came into my head and absolutely refused to leave until I agreed to post it somewhere. Trouble was it didn't seem to work on its own, thus it became a little interlude in Gracie's story and seems to be the perfect place - hope you enjoy.
By the way, I'm still waiting for my Gracie muse to return from its sabbatical cause I really don't like leaving things unfinished...
"Olivia!"
"Can I come in?" Her blue eyes pleaded with Sophie.
Stepping back to allow her entry, Sophie searched the young woman's expression. "Is something-"
"Tell me about my mother."
Caught off guard, Sophie paused in closing the massive oak door. "Olivia, dear, I think you-"
"Don't tell me to talk to Daddy or Grandma or Kim or anybody else. They just make me feel guilty for asking! It's bad enough that I can depress an entire room just by walking through it! I just want to know why," she argued. "Was she that much of a saint? If she was so great, why isn't she here!"
Sophie felt her heart breaking for the young woman before her. Olivia had never asked much about Alex except every once in a while, she would ask what her mother had been like, if she liked something that Olivia did. Each time she was given essentially the same answers. Over the years, Sophie had advised Ty that this day would come but the pain of his wife's death was too much for him and the subject was changed.
"Please," she begged, taking Sophie's silence as a denial to her request.
It was time, Sophie decided. She would deal with the wrath of Ty later. Olivia deserved to know her mother. And Alex deserved to have her wishes honored. Enough time had passed. "Come with me, dear."
Sophie led her to the library. Leaving Olivia on the settee, she went to one of the many book-lined shelves. Pulling a large, leather scrapbook from one of the shelves, she handed it to Olivia, explaining, "Your father doesn't know about this."
Olivia took the heavy volume silently and laid it on her lap carefully, as if she feared what it contained.
"Open it," Sophie prodded gently, sitting next to her.
She was finally getting answers. Taking a deep breath to slow her pounding heart, Olivia opened the cover.
It was a picture of her mother. Very different than the one at the firehouse which reflected a woman whose piercing gaze and proud stance dared anything to do her harm.
Gazing at some point in the distance, she appeared oblivious to the camera. A slight smile curved her lips; her eyes, as blue as Olivia's, were soft - dreamy looking.
Sometimes she thought she saw those eyes in her dreams.
"She was thinking of you," Sophie said quietly, glancing at the photo. "She loved you very much; still does, I imagine."
Olivia nodded, wiping the tears she had not bothered to control. "When was this taken?"
Sophie smiled at the memory. "The day she found out she was expecting you. She hadn't even told Ty yet. I was visiting Mrs. Grayson and had brought the children, Grace, Belle and Taylor, over and we were sitting in the back. I was taking some pictures of Belle with Mrs. Grayson. I hadn't heard Alex say much - not that she ever did - but I turned around to say something - and she was sitting just as you see her. She had such a peace about her that I just pointed, zoomed and shot the photo without her realizing it. When she saw it, I asked what she had been thinking. She had smiled again just like she did in that picture, and said, 'My little girl'. I won't lie - your appearance surprised her just as much as your brother's did but she loved both of you."
Olivia turned the page in the book. Her Mom and Dad's wedding; exchanging vows, rings and the kiss. At the outdoor reception, Taylor, barely a year old, dressed in knickers and a white shirt, giving his mommy, who was seated on a blanket with Daddy, a flower. His daddy watching his son with pride.
"She asked me to make her dress," Sophie commented, glancing at the picture. "Accommodate you and her simple taste, she'd said. We were expecting together, you know. Of course, you know. You and Jackson are the same age and, of course, Belle and Taylor. Anyway, it was held right out back, you didn't know that, did you? It was a simple wedding - well - as simple as it could be with the guys from the 5-5 in attendance. They made such a racket that day with all the sirens from the engines and squads that were driven by - it's a wonder the neighbors didn't demand we be arrested for disturbing the peace."
Olivia smiled at the thought of the scene.
"But then," Sophie, remembering the day and laughing, continued. "That would have been difficult considering the police were in on disturbing the peace!"
She turned the page. Pictures of Alex in various stages of pregnancy - at home, at the firehouse - proudly showing off her expanding middle. Some humorous, some serene. Alex with Ty and Taylor; Alex with Sophie, equally pregnant, plates of food balanced on their middles; Alex pushing Taylor on the swings at a playground. Alex in the hospital proudly showing off her baby girl.
Studying the pictures, committing them to memory, Olivia saw her mother. Not just a woman she, herself, resembled. Her mother had a sense of humor and liked to laugh. Her mother was also stubborn, just like Olivia was. Her mother had never wanted to leave her children or husband.
Sliding the doors closed, Sophie quietly left the girl to herself. Everything was in the book. She would find it. Just as Alex wanted.
Olivia didn't notice Sophie's absence. Turning the page again, she was faced with newspaper clippings, all dated within days of each other. All reporting of a car chase, a collision, and an explosion resulting the injury of a New York City fireman and the death of a New York City paramedic, essentially reading: New York paramedic Alexandra Taylor-Davis was killed when a car she was on top of, trying to assist some trapped injured in a second car, exploded without warning. Taylor-Davis was thrown from the force of the explosion and died almost instantly on the scene.
And then some articles would mention Lieutenant Johnson, who'd been badly burned. Usually some mention would be made about Grandpa Angus being killed on September 11 and Alex's involvement in that. Then her obituary listing those surviving Alex.
Olivia read each one. Twice. Three times. And she mourned.
She turned the page, unable to bear the horrific newspaper articles.
An envelope bearing her name, slid out. Olivia didn't recognize the handwriting. Carefully she pulled out the paper inside and began reading. It was dated one month after her birth.
My darling baby Olivia:
Sophie has done what I've requested. I prayed you would never have to read this but since you are, it is because I am no longer with you. I never wanted to leave you but some choices are already made for us.
I go back to work in a few weeks. I'm a firefighter, as I'm sure you know by now and I'm sure I died in the line. And if I didn't then it was a bad twist. Anyway, your grandfather, my Dad, was also a firefighter. He was the best and I looked up to him. I couldn't wait to be a firefighter just like him. At times, though I wonder if I had made the right decision but then something would happen and I would just know I was doing what I was supposed to. I was helping people.
I tell you all of this because of the risks I take. I want you to know how very much I love you, your daddy and your brother. I can't ignore my calling in life. One day, you'll know what I mean by that.
I watch you sleeping. Daddy says you look like me but I'm hesitant to believe it. You're much more perfect. You certainly have him wrapped around your finger. But then, so am I. My one desire for you is to be happy, my sweet baby- whatever you do. Life is a gift and everything is a blessing.
I have asked Sophie to watch over you and Taylor; she knows the risks I take and she knows my love for you. She sings a song to Grace, Belle and Jackson that she taught me. I sing it to you at bedtime, although, I couldn't carry a tune if it were tied around my neck but I hope you remember it some where in the back of your memory despite how badly its delivered. The words say: 'I see the moon, the moon sees me, the moon sees somebody I want to see; so God bless the moon, and God bless me and God bless the somebody I want to see.'
You'll have to ask Sophie to teach you the tune. I hope you have inherited your Daddy's singing ability. Maybe someday you can sing it to your children and tell them Grandma loves them. Anyway, when you look at the moon, remember that I did also and asked a blessing for you.
I'll be watching.
I love you, Mom
Olivia took a deep breath. Tears coursed down her cheeks. She could hear the off-key singing in her mind. She remembered her mother. The mother who knew that she may go to work one day and not come back. And took those risks to help people who couldn't help themselves.
"Olivia?" Sophie voice, floated from the door.
Quickly, she swiped at the tears. "There was a letter."
Sophie handed her a steaming teacup. "Yes, I know. You were supposed to find it. I promised Alex that you would have it when the time was right."
"Do you know what it said?" She asked.
Handing her a tissue, Sophie smiled at her in that motherly way. "No. But it's probably the same thing that I would write to my children."
"Does Daddy know she left this?"
"No. Alex made me promise not to tell anyone. I think this was her way of making sure that you knew she loved you and didn't want to leave."
Olivia took a sip of the peppermint tea and set it on the side table. "How exactly did she die? All the clippings say is there was an explosion."
Sophie looked out the library window. She had known that was coming. Olivia was one who had to know all the information, not just the vague details. "The explosion severed Alex."
Olivia was glad she had put the teacup on the side table. "You mean -?"
Sophie knew there was no gentle way to put it. "Her body was severed by the explosion."
Olivia blinked, comprehending what Sophie was telling her.
"She lived only seconds. Or so I was told. Kim and Carlos were there. And your Daddy was there. There was nothing to be done. Carlos assured her everything would be all right; your Daddy was in shock. She worried about your Grandma Beth. After losing your Grandpa on September 11, Alex worried about Beth everyday. What Alex didn't realize is how very strong your Grandma Beth is," Sophie looked at Olivia. "You come from a long line of strong women. Anyway, Carlos said that she assured everyone that it didn't hurt and she passed on."
Olivia felt drained. She had what she'd come for. But she also felt a strange peace. Now she knew why her mother's death had affected everyone so. To lose someone so suddenly and violently would send shockwaves over the hardest of individuals. Now she understood better.
She closed the book, handing it back to Sophie. "Thank you."
"That's yours, Olivia," Sophie said referring to the book. "I wanted you to know the Alex we all knew. I promised her you would when she gave me that letter."
Olivia held the leather volume close. It was no longer just a scrapbook but a link to her mother. "You have been a wonderful mother to me."
Sophie wrapped the girl in her arms knowing Olivia faced the memories of Alex and now saw her mother in a new light.
