AN: I'm sooo sorry for the delay. There were AP tests, and Prom week, and then I've just been slacking off with my stories and playing Suikoden V. I swear on the precious that I will never abandon this fic, though, no matter how long it takes me to update.
And a second note that will make sense a little later. I don't own the song "I Got You, Babe' by Sonny and Cher. Don't sue me.
Prankster
Chapter 5: Entangled
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Kakashi awoke at seven in the morning the next day. He was quite convinced that the Prankster's late-night visit had been a dream, until he found a bottle of shampoo in his shower that changed his hair from the rainbow monstrosity back to its normal fly-away silver. He kicked himself for not having woken up when his quarry was hovering right over him (well, he didn't really kick himself, even though he might have been flexible enough to pull it off, but there was much proverbial kicking).
He dried his now-colorless hair off and rooted out his old list of Prankster qualities and his new list of suspects. He crossed off the ninja that didn't have brown hair, which left him with about fifteen names. He debated adding in 'sexy as hell' and 'gives great blowjobs' to the first list, but decided against it in case the security of said list was somehow compromised (in other words, he didn't want anyone else reading the list and deciding to test out the Prankster's abilities on their own). Now he just needed to stalk each of the fifteen until they did something to prove their guilt or innocence.
The first name on the list was still Iruka. Yes, Kakashi admitted he still had some flaws in his investigative system for the other man to be a suspect. He decided he'd start at the bottom of the list and work his way up. That way, if he couldn't find anything out today, he'd at least end his investigation with a visit to his friend, which would cheer him up.
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Iruka grudgingly rolled out of bed after only three hours of sleep. He stumbled toward his coffee-maker and began brewing that blessed elixir. While he waited, he stuffed the quizzes he'd meant to grade but had completely forgotten into his bag and tired to make himself presentable. He found a note slid under his door frame and picked it up blearily, not even bothering to check for traps or wires.
It was a quick note from Hinata, asking him to come by before school to pick up the costume he'd ask her to make for him. Iruka groaned. He was tired, damn it! He poured himself a cup of steaming coffee and downed it in one swig. Feeling slightly more awake, he threw his bag over his shoulder, slid his Prankster mask safely inside, and went to pay the Hyuuga household a visit.
Iruka really didn't pay attention to where he was going, but he at least had the presence of mind to look around to make sure no one was around and put on his mask before he slipped into the Hyuuga Mansion. He wouldn't be able to explain his presence if he were to be caught as himself; as the Prankster, no one would question him sneaking around, although they might try to catch him.
Hanabi was the first to spot him as he searched for Hinata. The little girl squealed, dropped her plate of pancakes, and hid her blushing cheeks behind her hands. Hinata peeked into the room to see what had caused the commotion, and greeted Iruka.
"Good morning, Prankster-san. I have what you requested." She pointed to a non-descript cardboard box that sat innocently in the corner of the kitchen.
"Thank you, Hinata-chan." Iruka said wearily. The box was stuffed into the bag with the papers. Iruka turned to leave.
"I-I-Iruka-sensei?" Hanabi stammered, sounding exactly like her older sister did at her age. Iruka turned around and looked at her. "Would you…l-like to stay for breakfast?" She pleaded.
"Hanabi! You mustn't call him by his name." Hinata corrected.
"I'm sorry, Hanabi-chan, but I've got to be going. I'm very busy this morning." Hanabi sighed. "I'll see you later, at the academy." He reminded her. She nodded and smiled.
Iruka reached out to slide the door open and leave, but it slid open on its own before he could even touch it. Iruka found himself face to face with Neji, Lee, and TenTen. He blinked. Neji stared, stoic as always, but his two teammates stood stunned, watching the Prankster with rapture. Iruka sighed. He didn't have time for this!
TenTen recovered from the shock a few seconds before Lee did. "Can I have your autograph?" She begged. "You're the most kick-ass shinobi in the village! You're cooler than Tsunade-sama!" That was pretty high praise, coming from the kunoichi that had hero-worshiped the female sannin since she'd been old enough to talk.
"What is the Prankster doing in your house, Neji-san?" Lee asked. He was a little more wary of the masked stranger that had stolen his beloved sensei's spandex.
"We're helping him!" Hanabi bragged before her quiet cousins could make up an excuse. "Neji, Hinata, and I. We're probably the only ones in the village that he trusts to help him!" The littlest Hyuuga looked very pleased with herself for being able to help the object of her affections. Iruka wondered vaguely if Hanabi's crush would last through end of the year exams, or if she would find someone else to worship that didn't assign her so much homework.
He rubbed his temples and maneuvered himself past his former students.
"Wait!" TenTen and Lee cried after him in unison. Iruka stopped. "We want to help too!" Well, Iruka had been wishing for more help with his second job. 'I should be careful what I wish for' he thought, looking at his watch. Yes, he needed the help, but it couldn't have come at a more inconvenient time ('or, wait, it probably could. Knock on wood' Iruka's mind told him). He had less than five minutes to get to the academy.
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Across town, Sakura was running out of her house. She carried an envelope of pictures with her, and she stopped to peek at them every few minutes. Though she had looked at them at least ten times by now, she was still in awe.
The pictures had been slid under her door frame before she'd woken up, and there was nothing written on the envelope other than, 'Thought you might want to see this'. Sakura wondered if she'd been pranked. After all, the pictures inside were too outrageous to be true. Maybe they'd been doctored?
She stumbled, embarrassingly enough, although at least there wasn't anyone in the streets yet to see her. The pictures went flying out of her hands and littered the streets. She chased after then, gathering them back up lovingly. Sakura wasn't sure why she was lovingly gathering pictures of Rock Lee in civilian clothes, other than the fact that he cleaned up nicely. Quiet nicely, in fact. The pictures in Sakura's envelope showed Lee from various angles, wearing jeans and a tee-shirt, hair mussed up and not looking like something to eat breakfast out of, muscles rippling, teeth brightly glinting in one of his signature smiles.
When Sakura first set eyes on the photos and saw exactly how nice Lee could look, she remembered suddenly how long it had been since she'd visited him. Sakura had talked to him often while he was in the hospital, but since he'd recovered, they'd seen less and less of each other. The kunoichi decided it was time to pay him a friendly visit.
The wind carried the last picture of Lee in a swirling path along the street. Sakura snatched it up and admired it. It didn't at all seem strange to her that she was mooning over a picture that she would have found repulsive a year ago, because of Lee's fuzzy eyebrows and round eyes. Unique wasn't as bad as it had seemed to her at twelve. Now, she could look past the roundness of the eyes to see the passion within, and the eyebrows were less fuzzy and more bold expressions of Lee's character.
Her stalker instincts, still finely honed despite the absence of her old target Sasuke, told her that Lee could be found at his teammate's house at this hour of the morning. She headed to the Hyuuga Mansion to find Lee and ask him if he'd like to eat lunch with her. But first, she stowed the pictures away in the pockets of her medical apron. 'Wouldn't want anyone else seeing Lee looking so nice, now would I? Competition can be brutal.' She thought. 'You can never be sure when one of the other kunoichi, like that Ino-pig, is going to swoop in and try to steal your guy.'
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Iruka tried to tell the eager helpers at the Hyuuga Mansion that, yes, he'd love their help, but could they work it out later, when he had more time? He kept creeping backwards toward the door. He reached his hand out behind him and touched the door. His hand found the handle and he was about to slide it open when it began to slide on its own again. Sakura popped through the door. Iruka could have wept.
"The Prankster!" She gasped. "What's he doing here?" Then, curiously enough, the pink-haired girl turned to Lee and waved shyly. "Good morning, Lee-san!" She giggled. Lee blushed and waved back with a smile. TenTen smiled mischievously.
"We're helping him with pranks!" Hanabi proclaimed.
"Oh, I want to help too!" Sakura squealed. Iruka now only had four minutes to get to the academy, and it was on the other side of the village! The little army of students wasn't going to let him out before he allowed them to join the Prankster ranks, though, and they seemed to have unlimited reinforcements.
"Fine. You guys can do whatever you want, just try not to hurt anyone's feelings and put everything back the way it was before you pranked it when you're done. I've really got to go now!" Iruka lunged at the door, all pretence of tact forgotten. Before he could reach the threshold, however, it slid open on its own once again.
"Yo, Hinata! You're late for training!" Kiba yelled, walking through the door. Shino followed. "Whoa, what's HE doing here?"
Hanabi was having a field day explaining again. Iruka shoved past the new additions to the Prankster Army and made a break for the outside.
"Wait, Prankster-san! You have to tell us what you want us to do!" TenTen called after him.
"We will loyally serve your every command!" Lee added.
"Just ask Neji and Hinata! I've got to go!" Iruka shouted, not even stopping his mad dash for the door. Only three minutes left, and every minute late an academy sensei arrives, a proportionate number of desks are destroyed, or so Iruka had heard.
The Rookie Nine must possess some sort of telepathic signals that calls them all together during times of crisis or excitement, because Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji were waiting right outside of the Hyuuga Complex. Before they could even ask, Iruka told them, "Go ask inside, I don't care if you join, I've got to be somewhere right now!"
Iruka really wouldn't have been surprised if Naruto and Sasuke showed up next. Hell, soon enough, he'd have the whole chuunin ninja force on his side. 'Kami-sama, you have a weird sense of humor!' Iruka thought.
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Iruka arrived at the Academy three minutes late. Sure enough, about a third of the desks and chairs in his classroom had been destroyed. The students had somehow located the hidden and locked down practice weapons, and were playing a friendly game of Dodge-Shuriken. Iruka's temples throbbed, and his pace turned scarlet, except for his scar, which went dangerously pale.
Within the next minute, every student was bound and gagged in their chairs or on the floors, if the chair they usually occupied was one of the casualties. The little children caught sight of Iruka's face (luckily he'd remembered to take off the mask right before he burst into the room) and immediately stopped struggling.
The next twelve and a half minutes were devoted to a lecture Iruka gave his tied-up students about the responsibilities of a shinobi of Konoha, and if he EVER caught them PLAYING with practice weapons again, THERE WOULDN'T BE ENOUGH LEFT OF THEM FOR A HUNTER-NIN TO FIND! When the lecture was finished and Iruka's face returned to its normal healthy tan, Iruka untied his pupils. They scurried around the classroom, picking up everything they'd tossed around the class, piecing the furniture back together as best they could.
Order was restored to the class. Iruka taught the lesson as if the whole incident had never happened (he always did, and the children had learned never to bring it up). Lunchtime rolled around and Iruka released his students with a smile. As soon as the last student filed out and the room was blessedly empty, Iruka flopped his head down on his desk and snoozed.
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Kakashi had eliminated five more names by the time his stomach protested that he take a break for lunch. His search hadn't been fruitless, he told himself. He'd done some very necessary eliminating. He was quite sure that one of the ten remaining names on his list was the culprit.
Kakashi stopped at one of the street shops and ducked inside to grab a bite to eat. Anko sat at a table in the corner, munching loudly on her beloved dango, so he ordered his food and sat down beside her.
"Say, Anko, you're mischievous and enjoy spreading chaos. Do you know who the jokesters of the chuunin are?"
Anko chewed on her dango stick thoughtfully. "I wouldn't know much about the chuunin. Sorry." Kakashi sighed. He devoured his food in a flash while Anko was looking down at her dango and dumplings.
"Well then, I'll be off." Kakashi told her. "I've got to go rescue some firemen who are trying to get a demon kitten out of a tree." He waved at her and ducked out of the restaurant.
"Kakashi, if you want to know about chuunin troublemakers, you should ask Iruka-kun!" He heard her shout (she sounded like her mouth was full). Immediately, the copy-nin was back at her side.
"What was that?" He asked eagerly.
"Iruka, he was the biggest goof-off of our year in the Academy. Everybody knows that. He was voted 'Class Clown' and everything. If you want to know about chuunin mischief, he's the expert." Kakashi stared. Since when had Iruka been anything but a model citizen? A little mental calculation told him that the time period that Iruka must have been causing trouble in was the same one that Kakashi was still acting like an antisocial genius jerk, so it wouldn't be a surprise that he didn't know about Iruka's past.
Kakashi thanked Anko, paid for a second order of dango for her, and quickly ran to the Academy. 'I'll have to hurry. Lunch break is almost over.'
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Knocking rattled the door to Tsunade's office. Her desk shook with the impact of each blow.
"Come in, Susumu-san." She called wearily. The irate elder threw open the door and stormed in. He froze for a moment when he saw her- she was wearing a bonnet, and on her desk was a glass with false teeth. A cane hung on the back of her chair. 'Prankster,' the articles clearly read.
"I see you've been a victim of the hooligan as well. I want to know exactly why this problem hasn't been taken care of yet, Tsunade-sama!"
"I've told you repeatedly, Susumu. I've got my top shinobi working on this case. These things take time, and honestly, I think we have more important concerns to focus on right now."
"Ah yes, the information leak to Hidden Sound. That's why I'm here. I have reason to believe that this 'Prankster' villain is the source of the leak." Susumu said.
"Do you have any evidence?" Tsunade asked. 'A grudge is no reason to accuse a person of any crime, especially not one as grave as treason.' She berated him silently.
"He sneaks freely into the homes and offices of our top ninja. I think these pranks are just a cover-up for his real goal. We are letting him pass along vital security information unhindered, just because he can produce some fancy parlor tricks!"
"I didn't ask for your opinions, Susumu. Do you have any concrete evidence?"
"Not yet." Susumu grudgingly admitted.
"Then I can't do anything more that what I already am." Tsunade told him, in a voice she reserved for explaining things to small children and Jiraiya.
"I'll get you the evidence!" Susumu shouted at her. "Your 'top shinobi' had better have caught him by then, because I'll be calling for his immediate arrest!"
"You're dismissed." Tsunade told him coldly. She hated most of the elders, but Susumu had just boosted himself up to number one on her hit-list. What kind of bastard man tried to get a nin arrested for treason for playing a few well-meant pranks? Everyone else in the village, herself included, accepted the pranks with grace. She was proud of the fact that her temper hadn't exploded when she'd arrive today to find her desk decorated with dentures, canes, spectacles, and a bonnet.
There was a racket outside, so Tsunade went out on the balcony. Shizune joined her a second later.
Below, on the streets, a white sheet had been hung up on the wall at the center of Konoha. Across from it was a projector, and a group of ten little ninja, each wearing a Mardi Gras mask. Three were working on rigging up speakers, while two were focusing the projector. The rest were gathering people into the square to watch.
One of the speaker riggers gave the projector focusers a thumbs up, and the projector flipped on. On the sheet-screen stood caricatures of Tsunade and Jiraiya, each holding a little cartoon microphone. Music started up, and both chibi-Tsunade and chibi-Jiraiya started dancing.
"They say we're young and we don't know,
We won't find out unti-i-il we're grown!" Chibi-Tsunade lip-synced.
"Well I don't know if all that's true
Cuz you got me and baby I got you!
Babe!" Jiraiya mouthed as Sonny sang.
"I got you babe!" the two caricatures sang together. They bumped hips together, spun around in circles, flapped their arms, and did the wave back and forth. They continued dancing wildly and singing their song long after the audience drowned out the speakers with their roaring laughter.
Shizune collapsed in a fit of giggles, and Tsunade was wiping tears out of her eyes. The song finished, and the team of mini-Pranksters took a bow. Chibi-Tsunade and chibi-Jiraiya disappeared, and a chibi-Prankster walked out on the screen.
"I'm the Prankster and I approve this prank!" The message appearing under his feet read. Then the Prankster, gaudy Mardi-Gras mask and all, disappeared in a flash of animated smoke, and a final message appeared on the screen. "F.O.P." it read in big block letters. Underneath, in smaller script, was the explanation. "This has been a 'Friends of the Prankster' production.'
A masked nin with twin buns on the side of her hair took a second bow. The ten Friends of the Prankster grabbed their equipment and fled the square, their work done.
"I'm glad out Prankster has some allies at least." Tsunade confided in Shizune.
"I never knew TenTen-chan was such a talented animator." Shizune whispered back to the Hokage. They went back inside the office, moods considerable lightened.
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Kakashi slipped into Iruka's classroom silently, as was his habit (and an important life skill, no matter how much Iruka yelled at him for sneaking up on people). He found his favorite sensei napping on his grade book. The jounin didn't have a camera with him, so he took a moment to Sharingan the image in his head for all times. It was just so cute! Iruka's mouth was wide open and his cheeks were flushed and strands of his hair were slipping out of his ponytail to frame his face.
"Iruka. Hey, Iruka, wake up." He finally whispered into Iruka's ear. The chuunin shifted in his sleep and batted at Kakashi's head lazily.
"Go 'way!" the sensei mumbled.
"The children are in the weapons again." Kakashi said. Iruka was awake instantly.
"What! I told them-!" The brunet shouted, before looking around and realizing that his students weren't back yet.
"I hate it when you do that." He told Kakashi, who grinned.
"Tsk tsk. Falling asleep on the job, Iruka-sensei. Very naughty. What have you been doing late at night, to be so tired now?"
"Sorry. I was up late grading some papers. I always like to return them to the students as soon as I can, so they can correct their mistakes while the material is fresh in their minds."
"Oh." Kakashi said. Iruka couldn't have been out pranking the village and giving Kakashi a mind-blowing climax if he was at home grading papers. And besides, Kakashi couldn't believe Iruka was as hell-raising as Anko made him out to be, not when he slept looking like an angel. Iruka was too…innocent for pranking.
"Who on this list do you think is a candidate for Prankster? You know the chuunin better than I do." He handed Iruka the list. Iruka wearily raised an eyebrow as he read his own name.
"So, the Prankster is a chuunin now? I thought you were sure he was jounin." Iruka took a red grading pen and put a mark beside the chuunin that he knew to be wild. He crossed out two more names, and handed back the list. Kakashi studied it.
"Kakashi! You've got to come see this! The Prankster's got a whole organization now!" Asuma appeared in the room and told Kakashi. The tall jounin began to explain what had happened in the village square, but trailed off as he felt Iruka's glare boring into him.
"Ahem." Iruka coughed, pointing at the 'No Smoking' sign. Asuma extinguished his ever-present cigarette under the sensei's scrutiny and continued his tale. He finished and transported himself out of the classroom again, probably so he could light his smoke-stick back up.
"I guess I gotta go then." Kakashi told Iruka. "Thanks for your help." The copy-nin was half-way out the window when he turned back around and looked straight at the chuunin. "Hey, do you have a map?" He asked suddenly.
"A map? No. Why?"
"Because I just got lost in your eyes!" With the cheesy pick-up line shared and Iruka smiling, Kakashi hopped out of the window.
The children were walking back into the school, whispering to themselves as he passed by. Kakashi might have been surprised by what they were saying, if he had been paying any attention to their conversation.
"Why didn't Iruka-sensei pass back our quizzes yet?" Moegi asked Konohamaru.
"He's never taken this long with them before." Udon added.
"Well, he's never been late before either. I think we shouldn't say anything about it. Being tied up once today is enough for me." Konohamaru told them.
Alas. Kakashi wasn't listening to what the little children were whispering about. He hopped roofs to the town square and began questioning people about what had just happened, all the while feeling that he had missed something vital…
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Iruka managed to stay awake or the rest of the school day, although it felt like a load had been lifted off his shoulders when the bell finally rang to release the kids. He just had one prank to complete, then he could go home and sleep. It was a Friday, so he wouldn't even have to worry about grading his papers until Sunday evening.
The chuunin went into the bathroom and changed into the costume Hinata had fixed up for him. He was very glad for the help of his former students now. Kakashi was very close in his search, and the FOPs would keep the silver-haired jounin busy until Iruka had a little more chance to rest.
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Morino Ibiki stood in front of a classroom of his own.
"The key to successful torture," he told his class of special jounin and ANBU ninja, "is image. You want to be imposing. Your appearance should tell any captured nin 'tell me or die' long before you start making any threats. This can be done in a number of ways. Slide one!" Ibiki's assistant rolled down the overhead projector screen and began a slide-show.
A knock came at the door. Ibiki silenced the room with a gesture. "Observe, class. Intimidation, the most important technique of interrogation. He flung the door open without warning.
The ninja on the other side of the door looked up at him, unfazed. He was dressed in courier-nin garb, his face obscured by goggles and hood.
"Telegram for Morino Ibiki." He said. Ibiki glared at him, determined to make this courier an example for his class.
"Go ahead." He growled after a moment of awkward silence. The courier-nin opened up his mail-carrying pouch and pulled out a harmonica. He blew a note, and started to sing.
"How many weapons do you need to buy? Stop!
Is it only shuriken, or also kunai? Stop!
Is it cash or credit you're going to pay? Stop!
Hokage's sending out the order today! Stop!"
The class stared at Ibiki's dumbfounded expression.
"Hokage-sama needs a reply as soon as possible, Ibiki-san." The courier told Ibiki. The special jounin was silent for a moment.
"Thirty-seven shuriken, five dozen kunai. They'll go on my credit." He finally replied.
"Pardon me, Ibiki-san, but I only carry singing telegrams. If you aren't going to sing, I can't deliver your message." The class sniggered. Ibiki blinked.
Ibiki opened his mouth to give his reply, but the courier ninja cut him off with another note on his harmonica.
"You can start now, Ibiki-san." He told him matter-of-factly.
"Can't you deliver a normal message, just this once?" Ibiki asked.
"Sorry. It's against the code of the courier ninja. It doesn't have to rhyme, if that helps any." He played the note again, waving at Ibiki to start. The class was on the edge of its seat, waiting to see what their sensei would do.
" Thirty-seven shuriken, sixty kunai. Stop.
First person to mention this is going to die! Stop.
It goes on my credit. Stop. If this leaves this room,
Every one of you meets your doom! Stop."
Ibiki glared at every jounin and ANBU in the room, daring them to laugh. Being Jounin and ANBU, though, they all did. The courier-nin disappeared from the room as the brawl ensued.
Once Ibiki was satisfied that his class had been properly punished, he went back to his slide-show.
"That was the Prankster!" Kurenai whispered to Genma, who sat next to her in the third row. The room was full of ninja, so naturally everyone could hear their conversation.
"How do you know? Those freaky courier nin can be pretty weird. They could really have a code for singing telegrams." Genma 'whispered' back.
"That number. I've seen courier number 1234567 before, and that one was female. Ibiki just got pranked!" The class giggled again.
"Next slide!" Ibiki shouted. "A second interrogation technique, though not as conventional, is the Random Technique. It involved confusing the hell out of the ninja being questioned until they comply. I don't think that one needs any more explanation. Next slide!"
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Kakashi had his hands full with all the new pranks popping up. The FOPs were an active bunch of kids, and there were rumors that Ibiki's Interrogation class had gotten hit as well. It was getting hard to distinguish between what was Prankster work and what was FOP. The poor copy-nin hadn't had enough time to investigate the last seven names on his list. As soon as he'd finish recording the details of the dye-in-the-public-baths trick, he'd find out someone had released frogs at the ramen stand.
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Iruka stripped out of his courier ninja costume and into his pajamas. He set his alarm to go off just before sunset, and curled up in his bed for a much-needed nap. FOP was doing a good enough job of pranking that he would be able to 'retire' soon. He had just one more prank to pull, and then he'd be done.
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The sun was painting the sky multi-colored, and Kakashi hadn't yet gotten rid of the feeling that he was missing something. He was sure he'd recorded all the pranks that had been pulled that day, from the dentures on the Hokage's desk to the infamous singing telegram.
The copy-nin rested on a bench and thought. Were there any clues he was missing from FOP? They weren't as concerned with secrecy as the Prankster himself was, so he knew who some of them were. The Hyuugas, as unlikely as it seemed, were conspirators. He'd even caught Hanabi recruiting Konohamaru and his little crew to be part of the organization.
'Konohamaru!' His mind shouted, as if he'd stumbled onto the key piece of information. Why was Konohamaru important?
Kakashi thought back over his day. He'd seen Konohamaru talking with Hanabi, but he'd recorded that already. That had been the only time he'd crossed the kid's path that day…or was it?
…
Kakashi's eye widened. Konohamaru and his friends had been talking when he'd left the Academy! What had they been discussing? Grades? Quizzes! The quizzes weren't graded!
"Sorry. I was up late grading some papers." Iruka had told him. But that wasn't true, was it?
Iruka was a brunet. He had a sense of humor, and the thorough knowledge of basic jutsu that characterized the pranks played. He didn't have tons of chakra at his disposal, but he was oh so clever. He loved children and had access to the mission room and the academy. He was just the kind of guy who'd act stern about Kakashi's novels, yet give him an 'Eat Sleep Porn' shirt.
It sent an electric shock up his spine knowing it was Iruka that he'd chased through the darkened streets of Konoha, Iruka he'd groped, Iruka who'd sucked him off.
He had to find him! Kakashi jumped up from his bench and ran toward Iruka's apartment.
But when he arrived, the apartment was empty.
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The bell attached to the door of Konoha's local Ninja-wear store rang as someone slipped inside.
"Hey, we're closing! Come back tomorrow!" The owner shouted, emptying the cash register for the night.
"I'm very sorry for inconveniencing you, but I was wondering if you could help me." At the sound of the polite voice, the owner looked up. He found a man in a feathery Mardi-Gras mask looking at him.
"Oh, Prankster-san! I didn't know it was you. I would be honored to help you. It will be very good for business to say I have enjoyed your patronage here." The Prankster nodded.
"I'm interested in seeing what sort of chakra thread you carry here." The Prankster told him. The shopkeeper came out from behind the counter and guided the masked man to the back of the store.
"I carry only the best. Let me show you."
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Iruka left the Ninja-wear shop with two paper bags filled with chakra thread. It had taken a hardy bite out of his teacher's salary, but he thought this grand finale prank would be worth it. The thread was specially chosen to dissolve after about twelve hours of exposure to the elements, so he wouldn't be left with anything to clean up.
Iruka unwound a bit of string from the first roll and tied it around a tree branch. He hopped around the tree in a strange pattern, unwinding the thread as he went along.
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Kakashi searched the village for the Prankster. He found him up a tree, chakra string trailing behind him. Kakashi fell into step behind him. The Prankster sensed his presence and sped up. The night's cat-and-mouse chase began.
Iruka was running in a strange pattern, Kakashi noted. He never went exactly to the same place he'd been before, but he would cross over his previous path, leaving thread to overlap the thread that was there from before. Kakashi wondered what the other man was doing.
The Prankster didn't slow down when his roll of thread ran out. He tied a second roll to the end of the first without stopping his strange course.
Kakashi was preoccupied watching how Iruka nimbly avoided the thread he left behind, so he didn't notice where he was placing his own feet until he stumbled, completely entangled in the string. He pulled out a kunai to cut himself free, but the Prankster circled around and caught Kakashi's hand in his own.
"Don't cut it!" The Prankster pleaded. How had Kakashi not recognized Iruka's voice before? 'Well, we weren't doing much talking in our last encounters!' His mind retorted. "You'll ruin it."
"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked.
"You'll see." Iruka told him mysteriously.
"If I don't know what the thread is for, I don't see a reason not to cut it." Kakashi said. Iruka tensed.
"Please don't. If you'll leave it how it is and let me finish this in peace, I'll let you catch me."
"No running away this time?"
"No running. I promise." With that, Kakashi tucked his kunai back into his weapons pouch, and Iruka began delicately untangling his feet. Within a few moments, Kakashi was free.
Iruka handed Kakashi a roll of thread. "Want to help?" He asked. Kakashi nodded, eager to be done with whatever Iruka was doing so he could get to the unmasking.
"Do you have the pattern down? Just move like I was, over there."
Together, Kakashi and Iruka strung up chakra thread in the trees, buildings, telephone poles, and anything that stood taller than ten feet and didn't move.
"So, now will you tell me what this is for?" Kakashi asked.
"Just wait. It's going to rain." Iruka told him. Sure enough, a moment later, a light spring shower started. Beads of water clung to the thread like an oversized spider web. Even in the fading light, the droplets glistened. In the morning sunlight, they were going to be brilliant.
"Wow. The children are going to love this one." Kakashi said. Iruka nodded.
"They got so excited the other day because they found a spider web covered in dew. Imaging the whole village sparkling like that. I thought it'd be a nice last prank."
"Last prank? What do you mean? I'm not going to stop you, if that's what you think." Kakashi said.
"Oh, no. I don't think that. It's just, the FOP seems to be doing a good enough job, and I'm too busy to keep it up on my own. I'm almost out of ideas anyways. Enough about that, though. We're getting soaked. Let's find somewhere dry. We can talk there."
Iruka hopped into the forest. Kakashi followed after him like a smitten puppy.
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The two found an empty pavilion in a clearing in the forest. They silently stripped out of their flak vests and hung them up to dry. Around them, the cool rain fell. The only sounds were the pattering of rain drops in the trees and on the roof of the pavilion and the breathing of the two ninja inside.
Iruka and Kakashi turned to face one another. Iruka's hand went to his sopping mask.
"Wait." Kakashi commanded. Iruka's hand froze. Kakashi pulled down his own mask, grinning at Iruka's gasp. "Not very comfortable when it's wet." He explained.
Iruka removed his Mardi Gras mask and tossed it aside. "You don't seem surprised. When did you figure it out?" He asked. He removed his bandanna and the tie that held up his hair, and wrung the water out of his hair.
"Just before sunset. I can't believe I didn't realize sooner." The two were silent for a moment, listening to the tranquil rain.
"Should we try to wait out the rain, or should we head home?" Iruka asked. 'Your place or mine?' Kakashi wondered to himself, although he didn't think that was quite what Iruka meant. "The rain is supposed to stop before morning, but I don't know how long before."
Kakashi had the same mentality about getting wet that his nin-dogs did. He didn't really like it, but when it was necessary, he bore it without complaint and shook himself dry when he got the change. He really wouldn't have minded running through the rain to get to his apartment. However, if he stayed, Iruka would probably strip off more of his wet clothing to keep warm. That was a pretty appealing thought.
"I think we can wait for a little while at least." He told the chuunin. Kakashi pulled off his turtleneck shirt and mask, and hung them up with his vest. Iruka followed suit, leaving only his mesh undershirt to ward off the chilly night air. Iruka also kicked off his sandals, as did Kakashi. They removed their ninja accessories: weapons, gloves, hitai-ates, bandages.
Kakashi was trying to figure out if there was any ninja etiquette against taking off one's wet pants (to avoid catching pneumonia, you know, not to seduce one's companions or anything like that! Honestly!), when he heard a sound that caused him to freeze. Actually, it was less a sound and more an absence of sound. The steady pattering of rain had faded to an occasional drip, then finally to silence.
"I guess the rain stopped for now. We should get going. It's likely to be off and on all night." Iruka told him, slipping his shoes back on and gathering his discarded clothes in his arms.
Kakashi didn't know what to do. He couldn't just let Iruka get away, not when he was wearing that mesh shirt with his hair down, gloriously wet, not when he knew first hand what Iruka could do with his mouth. Kakashi decided it was time to take the initiative. He was a jounin, after all! Jounin didn't let opportunities like this slip away, especially when it came to sex!
Kakashi swept Iruka up in his arms and pressed him against one of the pavilion's railings. There weren't any masks in the way, so the kiss he pressed into Iruka's lips went much deeper than their previous ones had.
"Your place or mine, sensei?" Kakashi asked, voice husky with desire. "We'll have to hurry, before the rain starts up again." Speak of the devil, the rain began once again, a sudden downpour without any warning.
"Here is fine." Iruka said, sliding his hands down and into Kakashi's pants. Yes, here was very fine! Kakashi removed the offending pants, and then Iruka's as well (he wouldn't want his good friend getting pneumonia, would he?). The mesh shirt was lovingly removed, and Kakashi set it gently aside, rather than tossing it like the pants. He liked how the shirt looked on Iruka, and he wasn't going to risk it getting hurt.
They were both naked now, and Kakashi shivered (with anticipation, not cold; his entire body felt like it was on fire). He licked his lips. Then he licked Iruka's lips, and then the back of Iruka's throat, for good measure. He ran his hands up and down Iruka's wet skin, which felt a few degrees cooler than it should have. Kakashi was going to have to fix that, he thought. Good thing he'd had ninja training, and knew the best way of warming a person back up was shared body heat, which Kakashi was more than willing to provide for his comrade (he was such a good team player, Kakashi was).
Kakashi massaged Iruka's hardening cock like he had done two nights ago. This time he'd do it properly and finish the job. The copy nin loved the way Iruka tossed his head back and moaned at every touch, and he made liberal use of his sharingan eye to ensure that he wouldn't be forgetting that lovely picture anytime soon.
When Kakashi finished, Iruka used that talented mouth for a repeat performance of last night, although he didn't finish. Instead, he pulled away, leaving Kakashi gasping and gaping as he spread his legs and gave the jounin a 'come-hither' look. Kakashi knew it would be rude to turn down such an invitation, so he came thither. Their rain-slickened skin rubbed together as Kakashi thrust in and out. The downpour outside of the pavilion masked their moans from the outside world, had anybody been awake to hear them. They came together, or so near that it seemed so. Warm, wet, and completely satisfied, Kakashi and Iruka curled up right where they were, on the floor of a pavilion in the middle of Konoha's forest, and slept in each other's arms.
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The next morning, the village awoke to a spectacular glistening world of chakra thread and rain drops. It was like the village was a giant spider web; the pattern of the thread was even woven like a web. The shining beauty was enough to make even spider haters (like Hyuuga Neji, who shuddered every time he saw a trace of a web, the mark of his near-death experience) stop and stare.
Kakashi and Iruka enjoyed the sight of the string, and even more the wonderment of the villagers, as they made their way in yesterday's damp clothes to the public baths. No one else was there that early in the morning on a Saturday, so they had the steaming waters to themselves. They emerged an hour later, and if their skin was dyed a deep shade of blue, they didn't complain a bit.
In fact, there was only one person in the entire village that found reason to complain that morning. The elder Susumu had had his best subordinates looking in to dredging up some incriminating evidence about the Prankster, but nothing could be found. It was like the man was some sort of saint, the way the villagers talked about him!
'Damn him!' Susumu thought to himself. 'I have to get rid of him! If I can't find any evidence, I'll make some instead!'
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Don don don! Cliffhanger! Well, not really. Next chapter, Iruka's gonna be in trouble! Oh no! Hope Kakashi'll be there to rescue his favorite chuunin sensei.
