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"Here's some coffee."
Stevie accepted the cup of coffee from her Dad, but only after tossing her now useless phone across the couch. She muttered a thank you – breathing in the fumes from the coffee, hoping the coffee just might help calm her nerves enough to help her forget that she was not completely incommunicado from her erratic boss.
"I told you, Russell gave you the next few days off…" Her dad said as he sat down on the couch next to her mother.
Stevie rolled her eyes, "Forgive me for not trusting that, but we both know Russell Jackson, and he most definitely would not just give me a few days off for a confusing family reunion."
Alli agreed, "I don't know him too much, but he seems like giving someone a day off might push that stick up his butt even more…"
"Alli!" Her mother gasped, "You know we don't talk like…"
Stevie watched her dad smirk, and pat her mother's knee. "They've had a long night, we can let that one slide."
They were all huddled around the living room of the old farmhouse. Smaller than their Georgetown house, they all were closer in proximity than they'd been for a long while. The parents sat on the loveseat – both holding their coffee. Her mother seemed on edge, but Stevie knew that might just be how their mother was for a long while. And her dad wasn't immune to the things that had happened, and he looked stiff, and it was more stiff than just not wanting to spill coffee all over the place.
Allison was on the other end of the couch, lounging in her PJ pants as they all had been – no need to change for a drive from one house to the other in the middle of the night. Her hair, tied up into a messy bun, looked like a true messy bun – not the ones that she'd stand in front of her mirror for an hour trying to get to look "just the right kind of messy."
Jason sat on the ground, his legs sticking out from the coffee table as he laid on his side, his hand tucked under his face as he pretended to sleep. But it was obvious he wasn't asleep when he added to the stick conversation, "I bet he wishes he could let that stick up his butt slide…"
"HEY." Her dad exclaimed, gently kicking Jason's large feet, "Sit up here and stop talking like that."
Under protest, Jason pulled himself to a sitting position.
Taking another sip of her coffee, Stevie broached the subject, "So… did you call us all here to tell us that you're getting a divorce?"
The look of absolute horror crossed both her parent's face as they exchanged glances between the two of them. Then the protesting began, first from her father, "Stevie, no. That is absolutely not the case at all."
And her mother sat up so fast that she almost spilled her entire cup of coffee, "Your father and I are not getting a divorce. Not at all."
"At least we know that's not happening." Jason added. "Then maybe one of them is dying…"
At the mention of "dying," Stevie gave the back of her brother's head a hard wack. "Oh, do shut up."
"OW!" He protested, much louder than he should've.
She mimicked baby talk, "Oh… did that hurt your very hard head?"
"OK." Her dad called out, getting everyone's attention. "Listen. Everyone needs to be quiet."
Allison muttered, "You think that's possible?"
Stevie smirked, but then saw the very serious look her father was giving her, and she agreed, "Let's just hear them out."
Her dad continued, "Look, your mom and I have something very important to tell you…" Jason must've opened his mouth to say something smart, because her dad gave him the "speak-and-die" look that they all knew. Jason was quiet and her dad continued, "We know that you are going to have a lot of feelings, but we want you to hear us out before you say anything. After that, we do want to hear from you…"
Stevie took a sip of her coffee, but it sounded more like a gulp. Because whatever this was, it was serious.
And she listened. Her coffee forgotten immediately.
She listened as her mom began, telling them all that she loved them all very much, but that there was something coming out in the news that the kids deserved to know first. Stevie remembered when her mom had been gone in Baghdad. But as her mom told her what had happened there, Stevie's stomach sank. She listened as her mom explained that she'd had an affair with Conrad Dalton. The President. They'd slept together while they were in Baghdad. She could barely breathe as her mom told them that Emma was a product of that one night. She couldn't move as her dad told them that, while the affair had hurt him, that he realized that he loved their mother enough that they'd worked through that. She listened as he explained that he had loved Emma just as if Emma had been his own child – and that he never even thought of her as someone else's daughter.
"We wanted to tell you before you found out from the news." Her dad finished.
And all of the air had been sucked out of the room. Silence was deafening. Stevie could hear the blood coursing through her ears. She slowly moved her fingers that had been glued to her coffee cup – the coffee now cold.
She swallowed, her throat dry and parched.
"If you have any questions, we want to…" Her mother began.
It was Jason to make the first move. He stood to his feet, rattling the coffee table so that a cup of coffee spilled. Ignoring the mess he'd left, he started walking towards the stairs going up to their old rooms.
"Jason," Her mom called out, standing to her feet, "Listen, baby, I know you might want some time, but I'm here to…"
He just walked up the stairs, pounding up the last few. And Stevie watched her mom shudder with the slamming of his bedroom door before she looked over at her father.
"He just needs some time…" Her dad comforted her mother. Then he looked over at Stevie, trying to read her. But Stevie just stared back – sure that her absolute shock played well over her face.
Kicking Stevie through the blanket on the couch, Allison chimed in, "I don't understand." Stevie turned from looking at her dad to look at her sister. Fear in her eyes, something that Stevie was used to with her sister, spoke even more than the words, "I feel like my whole childhood was a lie."
Out of the corner of her eye, Stevie could see her mother open her mouth, but her father stopped her.
Allison continued, "My whole life I was told how great of a relationship my parents had. How absolutely perfect they were together. Even now with Mom being Secretary of State, the thing that so many people said was different was because of our family – it wasn't the normal political family." And Alli continued to look at Stevie, unable to look at her parents. And Stevie knew that she was really talking to her parents, but was too shy and angry to do so. So she held Alli's gaze. "But now… now I find out that my mom and the President had a love child? And… I just can't…" Tears came to her sister's eyes, and Stevie could feel the couch start to shake, even as Allison got up.
Still holding eye contact with Stevie, Allison cried and said, "It was all a lie…"
And then Allison took her turn running up the stairs, the sobs growing quieter with the slamming of her door.
And then Stevie found herself there, alone with her parents. And she found herself staring at the now ice-cold cup of coffee in her hands. Her fingers circled around the cup, slipping a little and trying to find that place – the perfect sweet spot where the coffee would go. Would stay.
She didn't know how long she sat there. She didn't know how on earth she could ever look up from that cup. Because if she did, she knew that she'd recognize the personhood of her mother. That she'd see her mother, sitting there, heartbroken. And now having to reveal one of the worst things that she'd ever done.
Instead, she continued to stare at the coffee. And, in a quiet voice, she said, "Do you remember when you told me about how you tortured that man?"
"Yes." Her mother squeaked out. Sounding nothing like the woman who often stood on TV and commanded attention.
"I remember what you told me that night I moved out." Stevie could remember that scene more than anything. "I had been so hurt. Thinking that my mom, who was there to protect me, who always did what was right if she could, who taught me to do the right thing. I remember being unable to comprehend how wrong she had been." Stevie moved the cup in her hands, bringing it closer to her chest, looking down at it – still unable to look up at her parents.
"Stevie…" Her dad's voice reached out, but Stevie kept going…
"I just couldn't fathom that my mother had done that. And that she had the audacity to tell me that I had been wrong for dropping out of college. How could she tell me about the right path of my life when she was so morally corrupt." Stevie took a breath, ignoring her dad saying her name, this time in a cautioning manner.
"But what you said – it stuck with me." She whispered, "You said, 'Everything is more complicated than you think it is right now and the only way you come to know that is through experience,'" Stevie took a deep breath, "'And that's what this whole process of growing up is all about.'"
It was only then that Stevie looked up at her mother – she looked into the eyes that now were riddled with terrible pain, tears clouding her eyes, heartbreak written everywhere. And she held her gaze, and Stevie said, "I can't say that this doesn't absolutely tear me down – I feel like I just got shot…" And Stevie stilled her voice to keep it from breaking with the tears that now clouded her vision. "And I think I'll still need some time to deal with all of this…"
Her mother was crying, and a sharp breath came in while they still held eye-contact. And Stevie stood to her feet, and walked over to her mother. "But I can say this…"
And she touched her mother's hand which was resting on her mother's shoulder. "I'm going to trust that right now, everything is more complicated than I think it is. And while I don't understand and I'm angry and confused…" Stevie squeezed her mother's hand, "I still love you."
Stevie had let her mother sit there, holding her hand, and let her sob. She'd cried a bit herself.
And after a bit, she'd told her dad that she needed to get back to Washington. That she had a job to do. And that she needed a bit of space - but that it wasn't because she didn't love her parents. But she needed some time. And work would help.
But she had kissed her mother goodbye, and told her, "I love you. It's going to be ok."
