PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW. I HOPE THIS LIGHTER CHAPTER HELPS A BIT. JUST AS A WARNING, THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS MIGHT BE A BIT HEAVY. IM SORRY. BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO THE STORY. SO. ENJOY
Emma gasped for breath, her heart pounding against as she tried to figure out where she was. No longer in the blood-soaked canvas room holding a body – she looked around.
"Emma, Emma… It's ok…"
The hospital room. The white walls were completely blood free. Machines beeped in the background. She blinked her eyes a few times, the lights were so bright. But still she kept breathing hard, and she felt caked in sweat.
And she felt something on her arm – something a bit more comfortable than what she'd been experiencing.
And she heard the soft, beautiful voice again, "Shhh… Emma, baby… it was just a dream…"
Emma looked to her left, and found her mother leaning up against her bed, comforting her quietly. She tried to get her breathing to slow down, but she couldn't control it… and she felt tears running down her face – she lifted her right hand to brush the tears away, and felt something tug in her hand – she winced from the sharp pain, and found an IV attached to the top of her good hand.
She again turned to her mother – and found a blanket on the chair behind her, even a pillow. The white dress shirt and dress pants her mother was wearing were all wrinkled and creased, as was the side of her mother's face – from the pillow.
And then she looked into her mother's eyes – calm. Quiet. Concerned. And again she heard her mother's voice, "You're safe, Emma…"
Emma sucked in a deep breath, ignoring the bit of pain in her abdomen with each movement. The dream had left her feeling absolutely unsure of what reality was. Where she was. And how safe could she really be.
With her throat scratching, Emma started to whimper, "It was so real…"
Her mother rubbed her hand up and down Emma's arm. "Well I'm right here. And you're safe."
Teras began to flow freely again, and Emma nodded, trying to calm herself and keep herself from breaking. But just seeing her mother right there with her, the terror every time she closed her eyes, Emma felt herself breaking again. And she whispered, "Mom?"
"Yes?" The response was immediate, and Emma found her mother's eyes searching her own, uncertainty but comfort right there.
And Emma whispered, "Can you hold me?" She wished her entire body could stop shaking. She just wanted everything to be fine. For her to really be here. "I can still feel it all around me…"
Her mother's voice caught for just a split second, "Of course, baby." And within seconds, Emma was nestled into her mother's chest, curled up as her mother surrounded her, softly rubbing her back.
The touch felt like another life. Her mother still smelled the same. And her mother's arms all around her – snuggled into someone she really wanted to believe could now keep her safe. Her mother's fingers slowly ran through Emma's hair, softly placing kisses on her head.
And Emma's fingers held onto her mother's shirt for dear life. Afraid that something, whether someone or sleep – might tear her away.
Then Emma looked up at her mother and whispered, "Can you tell me a story?" She needed words. Needed something to keep her awake. Keep her from going back into the hell.
"What story do you want to hear?"
"Anything. I just want to hear you."
Her mother laid her head on Emma's head, and began, in her sweet, quiet voice.
"I remember when I was in labor with you." Her mother said, "I was in a room not too different than this one." A small chuckle came from her mother, "Your dad had gotten stuck in traffic and Aunt Izzie had to drive me to the hospital. She was not very happy about it. She said, 'If you have this baby in the car, I'm going to sue.'"
Emma smiled and whispered, "Sounds like Aunt Izzie."
"But thankfully I made it to the hospital." Her mother's voice entered an almost trance, as if she was in the moment. "I got there too late to have any pain medications. Which, let me tell you, sweet girl, was not a wonderful walk in the park. And my doctor wasn't even here when I got here. He came right to the hospital, but he came by to check on me before he went to change into his scrubs." Emma had never heard this story, she nestled deeper into her mother. And her fingers began to loosen. "He wanted to check and see how far dilated I was, and guess what?" Emma looked up at her mother, who brushed her nose when she said, "There your head was – ready to come out into the world."
Emma smiled and asked, "Then what?"
"Well, the doctor looked at me and said, 'I'm going to need you not to push yet, I've got to go get my scrubs on.' And I told him, 'You make three figures a year in salary. You can afford new pants. I'm going to push.' And then…" Emma felt her mother kiss her head, "He got down and said, "Well, then go ahead."
"And then I was born?" Emma asked.
"Your father came rushing in just in time to get a glimpse of you crowning before he passed out."
Emma laughed a bit – the first time she'd laughed in a while. And she heard her mother's own laughter – something she'd missed more than she realized. "Did he…"
"Oh, flat out on the ground. Gone. Had three stitches in his forehead from hitting the side of the table."
Both of them laughed together.
"But the best part of this story was when I got to hold you right there in my arms." Emma felt her mother pull her even closer. "You were so quiet – crying, but quiet – not like any of your siblings." Her mother's voice caught. "They handed you to me…" Emma looked up at her mother, who looked deeply into her eyes, "And you did just that. You looked right at me… like you were seeing me… like you were saying, 'So that's who's been taking care of me.' And you grabbed onto my little finger, and nestled against me – and I was smitten."
It was quiet for a moment – while Emma reveled in being held by her mother in her moment of need, thinking about how much of a place she had with her mother now.
Then her mother said, "And Dad, finally came to – and he would not – WOULD NOT – let them stitch him up until he held you."
Emma pondered that. "Really?"
And her mother nodded, "Yup, there was blood dripping down his face, but he picked you up, held you tight, and whispered, 'Hello, little one. I'm your daddy.'"
"And you just held his finger – even when they were stitching him up."
The room was quiet. And Emma finally felt that she'd calmed down. After all of that – she held onto her mother. She looked at her mother's hand, and seeing the marks on her wrist, Emma recoiled inside at herself.
And then she said, "Mom?"
"Yes, baby?"
She smiled at the nickname. Something she'd not been called for a while. "I'm sorry about… I didn't… I just…"
Then Emma felt her mother turn her head to face each other. And her mother's face was serious. And she said, "Emma, you will not apologize." Emma started to look away in embarrassment, but her mother continued, "I know that things are going to be hard… but, you listen to me, little girl." Emma stared up into her mother's eyes, certain. Present. Real. "You can't apologize for having feelings… dealing with things is going to take honesty. And I need you to be willing to tell me things – willing to work through things – and even to yell at me – to be mad – to be sad. That's how it's going to go." Emma felt her mother's hand squeezing her own, "But I'm not going anywhere, Em."
Emma nodded. And then said, "I'm… I still think that…"
"The doctors want you to rest." Emma felt her mother tense underneath her, "But I already have special agents on finding your friend. And once the doctors clear you, you'll get an official debrief – and in that, you'll be able to make sure they have the information to find your friend."
Emma tensed herself, pulling away to look up at her mom, "But I need to…"
And before Emma could even finish, her mother said, "Emma, I just got you back. And policy says that I cannot send someone back into a hostile situation." Emma opened her mouth to argue, but her mother's firm voice interrupted, "But once we find the location, we will have you in the situation room – so you can help direct the SEALS there."
Emma felt that the battle was done. And, inside. Deep. She was glad that she wouldn't have to go back. But she looked with a firm gaze into her mother's eyes, and she curtly said, "Will you promise that you'll do everything you can to help me find her?"
And without hesitation, her mother said, "You have my word, Emma McCord."
Emma held her gaze for a bit. Watching for any sense of wavering. Or hesitation.
"I'm the President of the United States." Her mother said. "And I will use everything I can do to find your friend."
Emma nodded, taking a deep breath before she said, "Does this mean that… you could score me a hamburger?"
Emma felt her mother laugh, and it was a glorious sound, one that Emma would relish for a long time. For that moment. She felt like she belonged as she snuggled against her mother. Knowing that right then, she belonged.
