emmy – Can you not sign up for FFN? If it's possible, you should, because they send you emails whenever a story you have on your list is updated! It's so fun! I love seeing all the little alerts lined up in my mailbox.

kessemm – I don't know when I first described her as having blonde hair, but in my head, she's always been blonde. Sorry for the confusion.

Sanfrangiantsfan – I actually have a very interesting idea that I'm playing around with for the next nanny. Not quite an old lady, but…you'll have to see.

All- Thank you for you wonderful reviews! I feel so very uninspired lately, and I always find a million little things to do besides write, so when I actually do sit down and put together some of this story, I'm glad that it gets positive feedback. Even if it is people telling me that I'm evil. Am I evil::Villain-y laugh: Time will tell…

And I'm sorry about the delay. I started new classes, after wasting my first half of the year on electives, and I can't coast anymore…need to get my act together…graduating in a little over a year…there's not so much time for me to chill in front of my computer any more. I couldn't abandon you guys, though. I've fallen in love with so many stories that were discontinued, and I cried over some of them. Not this story's fate.

Groaning as she kicked her shoes off, each one making a reassuring thump as it skittered across the hallway and hit the wall, Rory made a beeline for the liquor cart that occupied the southern corner of their living room. Just as she was beginning to pour herself something scotchy-smelling, she remembered.

"Damn." She slammed the half-full glass down as she turned on her heel and went to the kitchen instead. Pouring herself a glass of grapefruit juice instead- it was the closest liquid to the front of the refrigerator- she downed it in three gulps.

It didn't help. The memories of her hectic workday (Bootsy had been MIA for over an hour before they discovered him trapped between a fallen backdrop and a studio wall; Madeline had accidentally cut her pinkie on her script, and the sight of blood sent her into hysterics that required two paramedics to bring her back) didn't fade away. And worse- yesterday's revelation coupled with her parent's reaction made her feel…different. She'd settled into the don't-ask-don't-tell policy with most people in her life, save sometimes Marty, and now Luke and Lorelai knew about Jess's excursions, while she had to work up the courage to tell her husband that it was time to go back to Lamaze class.

Actually, scratch Lamaze class. This time around, there would be morphine.

"Damn. Damn. Damn Damn Damn!" she stomped up the stairs, cursing every time her foot hit marble. Her bad mood had intensified with the bad taste of the grapefruit juice,

She reached the top of the stairs, and made the hard left that brought her right in front of her door. Forgetting that Jess was already home, and had most likely had a hard day too, she flung open the doors as loudly and violently as she possibly could. It made her feel better for a second, before she realized that Jess was lying on HER side of the bed- with his eyes open.

"Hi," she greeted him, surprised.

"Hi."

"Still up I see." He shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep." A weighted silence descended upon them.

"So…okay then. You're on my side of the bed."

"That I am." Another heavy pause.

"Could you move?"

"No."

"I like my side. It's why I claimed it as my side."

"I think we should talk." Her heart thudded from what felt like her throat. He knew. She closed the door, blocking the hall light's illumination from entering. She could still see his outline, though.

"About what?"

"You pick the subject. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Bootsy's fine. The paramedics were already there because of Madeline, so they checked him out before they left. No internal bruising."

"Anything else?"

"There's a pre-poured cup of something downstairs, if you want."

"Anything else?"

"I can't think of anything. Be more specific."

"Okay. Let's try…when was the last time you remembered to take your birth control?"

"Uh, I took it…yesterday morning? Yea, that sounds about right."

"And before that?"

"Probably some time last week." Jess let out a humorless laugh. "I forget sometimes. I'm stressed out. Or I have a headache."

"And after all this, you couldn't possibly know what I'm getting at?"

"Not a clue. I'm really tired, can we do this tomorrow." Her tone bit at him, so he threw up his hands in defeat. Rolling back to his designated side, he watched her move around the room in the dark. She took her nightgown from a dresser drawer, and went in the bathroom to change.

When she came back ten minutes later, she knew he was awake. She knew that sleep wouldn't come easily for either of them tonight. And mostly, she knew how hurt he was by her playing dumb to his questions. She couldn't tell him, though. She could answer him yes if he asked her directly, but she couldn't come out and share that sensitive piece of news like a deserving wife.

He exhaled slowly from beside her. "Do you hate me?" he asked after a minute. Not turning her head, she responded tonelessly but sincerely.

"No. I love you."

"You've got a funny way of showing it."

"Go to sleep, Jess."

"I love you too. And it's killing me. You know that, right?"

"Sleep, Jess."

"You know. You can see me dying, every time you shut me out."

"God, you're such a drama queen."

"Tell me Rory. Just say it, and I'll leave you alone. I'll even go sleep on the couch if that's what you want."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Please. It should have come from you in the first place, just spit it out." She didn't answer him. Instead, she feigned sleep.

Jess stood up, grabbing his pillow. He made his way down to the living room, and arranged himself on the luxurious couch for the night. But not before draining the glass Rory had left out on the table.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Kathy straightened her sweater as she entered the living room with a yawn. She really shouldn't have stayed up that late, watching old Brady Bunch reruns, and cleaning out the cookie jar and Jess was on the couch.

Why was Jess on the couch? Kathy sighed, recognizing that Rory must play some part in this. It was strange, though- even after the Shane incident, Jess had stayed safely in their bedroom. She moved forward to shake him awake, but he batted her hand away. Muttering fowl words, he rolled his head underneath the pillow taken from his bed upstairs.

"Jess Mariano, don't make me wash your mouth out with soap!"

"Huh?" came the muffled response. Pityingly, she pried the pillow from his sleepy fingers, and sat down on the edge of the couch. She began to smooth his hair out as he came to his senses. "Why the fuck am I on the couch?" She smacked his cheek lightly.

"Potty mouth! I could have been Jane!"

"You're Jane? Oh, shit. Aw, shit, I said shit. Go away, Janey."

"It's Kathy, Jess. And once you regain motor skills, I WILL be washing your mouth."

"Where's Rory?" He pushed himself to a sitting position as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm betting upstairs. I know better than to ask WHY you're on the couch, but do you have any instructions for me when I go up there? Do you want me to tell her anything, or get anything for you?" Something dawned on him, probably the reason he was downstairs, and she saw it behind his eyes.

"No. I'm going up now anyway, so don't bother." Leaving his pillow behind, he climbed the stairs slowly and several at a time, using the banister to stretch himself. As Kathy headed for the kitchen, she heard the big house's reverberations as Jess popped his back on his way up. She shuddered at the noise before opening the kitchen door.

Cautiously, he opened the door. She was already awake, sitting up in bed and watching TV without a glass of anything in her hand. It was a familiar picture, but strangely lacking in that last detail.

"Not drinking?" he asked, as she turned her head towards him. She regarded him with a glance, her eyes tired, but clear of sleep. It was obvious she'd been up for a while.

"Can't."

"Why not?" He reverted back to last night's attempts.

"I don't get why it's such a big deal for me to SAY it."

"Neither do I, but for some reason, you won't." She stared at him for a minute, before he closed the door. He sat down a few feet from her on the bed, and looked at the plasma screen in front of them. "What are we watching?"

"E! True Hollywood Story. Of Jersey Girls." The corners of his mouth turned up.

"We got an E! True Hollywood Story?"

"No one told me. This isn't new, so I'm assuming it's existed for a while." The screen showed their characters spin towards each other and meet in a fantastic kiss. Jess grinned, reminiscing, as Rory squirmed, uncomfortable.

"If we were still doing that, the show I mean, would you have such a problem kissing me?"

"I don't have a problem with kissing you."

"You haven't in a while."

"I kissed you last week. And look what I get- you knocked me up." He stared at her, waiting to see if she'd say more. "Stop looking at me. I said it, let me watch TV in peace now."

"Are you positive? Cause, remember, before Jane you thought you were pregnant, but you weren't, and you were pretty torn up about it."

"I'm already pretty torn up, Jess. I took a test, and it came out positive. Mom said there wasn't enough time in between the you-know-what and my taking the test, but it still said positive. And I wanted fruit." He nodded, knowing the fruit issue. "I should probably make an appointment. I'll do that today." He faced the TV again, pondering the words she's spoken in such a casual tone.

Jersey Girls had ended with Tony and Madison getting an apartment together. They'd had a rough relationship- Madison had gotten drunk (oh, the similarities between fact and fiction) and cheated on him near the end of the fourth season, and after the bumpy recovery from that disaster, a new girl with her eye on Tony had made hell for the lovebirds. They were a hit with the viewers, however, so Max gave them a happy ending. Kris, Paris' character, had ended up with Parker- a fifth and sixth season regular. Kayla had turned lesbian, and the show faded out for the last time featuring her and Mercedes (another add-on) as a couple. Lesbians were VERY in, according to Max. The OC had done it.

Lastly, the final scene had found the four girls and their respective other halves at a small picnic in Tom's River, New Jersey, drinking cheap beer and toasting new challenges. Haley's date for the finale was Ian, the years' occasional guest star who had appeared in each of the last five episodes as a matured version of his High School character, and a potential rekindling flame for Haley. Tristin DuGrey, the actor behind Ian, was currently on screen, talking about Paris Gellar.

The two had had a brief but intense romance after he'd left the show, culminating in an impromptu Las Vegas ceremony (which Rory had gotten roped into playing bridesmaid at). Their marriage had been legal for two months before she drove him crazy and he left, but there had always been a mutual respect between the both of them on the occasional Jersey Girls set after that. He was married now to another actress, after courting her much longer than the Paris situation, and Paris herself was single and lovin' it. 'Men are like winter jackets. Yea, they keep you warm. And they make you look pretty, if you didn't dig yours out of a dumpster or the salvation army bins or whatever. But they're bulky, and they hold you down. I don't want that,' had been a featured quote before Jess entered the room. But he was talking about her now in such a tone, that the two people watching who knew him personally listened attentively to the words they had rarely heard him get emotional enough to say.

"I think I knew from the start, that everything was going to go to hell. But it was one of those things, the only thing I've ever experienced, that I told myself whatever misery came out of it, it'd be worth it. I have never, and never will, love anyone with the passion, or the …the openness, that I loved Paris with. Even my wife- she's the only girl for me now, but I could never regret anything that happened with my first wife. My first love."

"That's sweet," Rory commented as they moved on to talk about the details of the Degrey/Gellar (because Paris wouldn't change her last name) marriage. "I'm surprised that he could say that with a camera in his face. I couldn't."

"Me neither. I hate the damn media."

"Hear hear." He settled back against the headboard to continue watching, a thought rolling around in his mind. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

"They're how I found out. About you, and the, uh, the baby." It felt weird to say baby. Riley was his baby, Jane was still (and would always be) his baby girl. Another child hadn't ever been planned; two was the agreed upon amount. It occurred to him that they probably should have been using condoms or something if they were determined to keep the bar at two, but that somewhat pesky habit had ceased to exist from their wedding night and out. But he honestly had thought Rory was a little less scatterbrained about her pills than she apparently had been. The woman planned every last minute of her day, even entering things such as 'watch a movie' or 'have a snack' in her planner. It made her happy. And, while when under the influence, plans flew out the window, she was careful about only letting herself go on days when the plans weren't dire.

So the predicament they currently found themselves in, only freshly acknowledged by her, was even more of a surprise to him.

"Oh. How did they know? Does everyone know by now?"

"I think so. Some reporter saw you in a drugstore." She nodded and pursed her lips.

"Mom and Luke know," she said after a few minutes.

"Huh."

"No, I mean they know. About us."

"What about us?"

"Everything. Including that we're not doing so hot." She looked down at her lap.

"I'm in, Rory. You're the one who makes it difficult." He expected her to deny him without giving a reason, but she just nodded again.

"Mom suggested couple's therapy or something. It sounds stupid, I know, but…"

"We're gonna have a baby. I know."

"What are we gonna go, Jess? This is a bolt out of the blue, we are completely unprepared for a third child."

"We'll make it work. I'll take care of you." She offered him a weak smile.

"Like you always do."

"Right. Like I always do." He scooted towards her so he could brush his lips against her forehead, then backed off before she could object. They continued to watch the documentary in stewing silence.

'This could be my last chance to prove whatever the hell she needs me to prove,' he thought as a picture of Max played on the screen.

'He deserves so much more than me. He always has.'