Authors note here:
First off, I just want to say that I am completely blown away with all the support this story has gotten. It's gotten to the point that I almost wait for reviews from certain people, knowing that you are reading and will always leave a comment or a kind word - your reactions to it make all the difference in my writing! Thank you for that.
I also want to address the comments that I have gotten, one here recently and a few earlier on in this fic. While I know that if you've read this far, you've at least gone along with my idea here - I know that there are some people out there who don't like the premise of this story. And while I appreciate your dedication to your idea of Madam Secretary, I think that some have forgotten the reasoning behind this entire site. As a writer (not just of fan fiction) I love finding the story. What I find funny is that I had posted many chapters in this story before the episode where it leaks to the press that Conrad and Bess might have had an affair. And while canon revealed that it didn't happen, the writers thought of it at least a bit by making it into a story. And I believe that I have not weakened any of the characters. Henry and Bess have an extremely strong bond. And this bond (in my story) proves that they can get through pretty much everything. And as a writer - the author of this particular story, I find joy in the expression of this story. I find beauty in the pain that each experiences. Because I think that in some way this speaks to the human condition of pain and joy and forgiveness. And if any couple has the ingredients for all of those things, it's the McCords.
I want to thank all of you for reading - and for your comments. Please keep them coming. I do appreciate them. And I am very open to criticism - don't get me wrong - just don't come after me because you don't enjoy the premise. Maybe read something else that will speak to you about Madam Secretary. That's why we all read fan fiction. But if you're willing to shed just a tiny bit of disbelief, I hope you'll at least stick with me on this journey.
NOW. The story - I wrote just a small chapter here - but I'm going to post this and literally start on the next chapter - should have it uploaded in an hour or so! So - sorry about the short one, but there is much more to come!
Emma listened to the door of the hospital room shut, leaving her curled up there on the bed. She wished the feeling of guilt would subside from deep in her chest. She knew from the way her mom had recoiled during the conversation that she'd been hurt by how Emma had responded to her.
She'd wished for all of this since as long as she could remember. Coming home. Being with her family. Having her mother hold her in her arms – feeling like she was safe.
Emma could still feel the horrible loneliness of that cell – the dank darkness that Emma was sure had eaten away part of her soul. Unable to count the days or night, wondering if she'd been left there just to die. She'd buried her head down in her tattered dress – crying for her family, for anything reminiscent of home. She'd remembered the quiet mornings on the farm, watching kittens being born, wrestling with Jason over the remote, arguing with her dad about doing homework instead of running around outside.
She'd been alone. For what seemed like forever. And all she'd wanted was – what she now had standing right outside her room.
When they'd brought Lea – she felt a part of her come alive again.
And, after Emma got used to talking again, understanding that someone was there who wouldn't hurt her, they'd become…
There really was no word for it in English. No way to express how important someone could become to her survival. There was someone there to simply extend a hand and place it on Emma's shoulder – there, in the darkness. A silent acknowledgment of existence. That Emma was not completely alone. Someone who would talk with her about the silliest things, just to keep their minds from reality. Someone to simply tell a story – whether tales of ancient Greek warriors or stories about the humorous baby rat who lived in the corner of their cell.
When they'd been sold to Darab, Emma had been terrified they'd be separated. That she'd lose the person who kept her alive there.
But together, they'd survived the chores, backbreaking and exhausting as they all were. The night would come… and Lea would never shy away from letting Emma crawl next to her in bed, unable to sleep from the nightmares.
All Emma had wanted was to go home.
And now, Emma had just pushed them away.
But she'd seen it in her mother's eyes.
Her mother knew. Isabelle must've told her.
And the pity. The flash of horror across her mother's face.
The guilt in Emma's chest reared into shame. If anyone knew – they'd only see one thing – the damage. Emma had dreamed of coming home – but she'd always dreamed of coming home from the perspective of being that little girl.
But no part of that girl still lived. She was dead. And now her family was left with… this corpse.
