Title:
Giving Roger His Happy Ending
Author:
MusicalJunkie
Feedback:
Is like babysitting when the kids are asleep and still getting
$8/hour.
Pairing:
Implied Mark/Roger. Slight Mark/Maureen & Roger/April.
Word
Count:
1425 (I can't believe it's actually over 1000 words)
Rating:
PG/ PG-13. You decide. I don't think it's that bad, but RENT in
and of itself is PG-13 if not R. However, this is a pretty tame
story.
Genre:
Romance/Drama (I guess, I'm not sire if this is drama or angst.
Both of which I try to avoid, but the prompt kind of dictated the
genre)
Summary:
preRENT. April has a strange dream and decides to give Roger and Mark
a chance at a happy ending
Notes:
Hehe. Never posted a fic of any kind before. This is fun. Also, wrote
this while babysitting three little bilingual (English and Dutch)
children, all under the age of 6. If it seems a little frazzled, it's
probably due to the circumstances under which it was written.
Luckily, I got home in time to watch the Everwood
Series Finale, and type this up (which took less time than I thought
it would)
Special
Thanks:
To Rachel, my RENThead friend, without which I would not have the OBC
or Movie soundtracks (or at least not for free) or Anthony Rapp's
book (does this count as a thank you card?)
Spoilers:
If you're reading RENTdom, I doubt there's any need to worry
about spoiling anything.
Warnings:
Don't eat yellow snow.
Disclaimer:
I don't own RENT. (Well, I own the movie, but not the rights) I
don't even own the soundtracks, I borrowed them from Rachel, 'cause
they're, like, $30 each.
"I'm sorry I didn't give you a happy ending, I know I stole that from you" BKLYN
April
loved Roger, but he didn't love her like that and she knew it. He
was in love with someone else and hadn't even noticed. She would
have said something, but April was selfish, she wanted Roger for
herself, so she pretended not to care. That was until Mark brought
Maureen home. She tried to ignore the look of jealousy when Mark
kissed Maureen, but found it impossible.
That night, as she slept
in Roger's arms, April had the strangest dream she'd ever
experienced.
She
was sitting in a white room watching a film of her life. She saw the
first time she saw Roger, when the Well Hungarians played at the
Pyramid Club. She saw herself working her way through the crowd after
their set so she could meet that guitarist she'd been eyeing. She
saw herself and Roger talking over beer and fries at the Life. She
saw a few more scenes of herself and Roger alone. Roger playing songs
for her on his guitar, them walking through Central Park together,
and a few more meals at the Life Café.
Then
came the parts that were hard to watch. All the times when she was at
the loft with Roger and Mark. She saw herself watching, unnoticed, as
they wrestled over the last cookie countless times (Roger would
always win, but end up giving half, if not all, of the cookie to
Mark, anyway),as Mark watched Roger play "Musetta's Waltz" over
and over, encouraging him to keep going even when he messed up (which
he seemed to do quite often. It was a simple song, but Roger could
never seem to get it right), as Mark tried to write a screenplay with
Roger reading over his shoulder making Mark mad by suggesting what he
should write next (which were usually rather crude). And then she saw
herself watching Roger's jealous expression, again, from when Mark
brought Maureen to the loft.
That
was the last of the familiar scenes. April couldn't remember doing
anything
like what she saw next. She was handing money over to a shadowy man.
"So, first timer, huh?" the man said.
"Yeah,
any advice"
The
Man told her exactly how to find a vein and how to load the syringe.
She nodded along with everything The Man said. "So, why are you
doing this?" The April watching this happen was surprised. Dealers
weren't supposed to care.
She
heard herself replying "My boyfriend doesn't realized he's in
love with his best friend and I can't take it anymore."
"So
you've turned to smack? Why not just break up with him?"
"Why
do you care so much? You're practically turning down a new
customer."
But
April never had a chance to find out why The Man was asking so many
questions. The scene changed to her shooting up in an alley, and then
to her showing Roger how to shoot up. April didn't want to see
anymore. She didn't want to think she could ever give Roger drugs.
That she could ever make the man she loved a junkie, even if he
didn't love her back.
Nothing
could've prepared her for the two scenes that followed. The first
one was of herself going to the doctor, alone, receiving a slip of
paper declaring that she was HIV+. The next has her, sitting in the
bathroom, razor on the counter, trying to find the right words to
fill the blank piece of paper in front of her. "Roger, I'm sorry
I didn't give you a happy ending. I know I stole that from you,
but..." She crossed it out. There were no words to describe how
sorry she was and why she needed to do this. "Roger, Don't dwell
on me, on this. This is what I had to do. Get clean, write songs, and
just live. And, Roger, tell Mark how you..." Once again she crossed
out what she had written. The April watching the scene couldn't
believe what was eventually written on the paper, "Roger, we've
got AIDS. Love, April" The razor was two inches from the skin, when
April finally woke up.
She knew then what she had to do. She didn't know if what she had seen in the dream was going to happen, but she did know that she had considered doing smack to ease the pain of Roger's denial. She remembered the note, and knew she never wanted to write it. She loved Roger too much. She didn't want him to become a junkie. She didn't want to give him AIDS. She didn't want to take away his happy ending. 'I need to talk to Maureen.'
It was a long shot, asking Maureen for help, but April wanted to make sure Maureen knew what was going on. April asked Maureen to meet her at the Life Café for lunch. Maureen was a little confused, but she agreed to come.
"Okay, what did you want to talk
about?"
"I know you've only been dating Mark for a little
while, but there's something you should know about him."
"What?
He's not HIV-positive or anything, is he?"
"God, no. If he
was, he wouldn't go out with anyone who didn't know or wasn't
also positive. He's too nice."
"Okay, so that's not it. Is
he, like, not over his ex-girlfriend?"
"It's not an old
girlfriend he isn't over, it's Roger."
"He dated
Roger?"
"No, they're both in total denial, but I'm
planning to remedy that. I can't stand watching them inadvertently
flirting with each other for much longer."
"Ooh, a scheme. I'm
in. Do you have a plan yet? Are you gonna lock them in a room
together and not let them out until the admit how they feel? Are you
gonna sit them down and say 'you love him, and you love him, too.
Discuss'?"
"Wow, you really enjoy doing stuff like this,
don't you?"
"Yeah, especially when it's this easy. On my
first date with Mark, Roger was all he could talk about. Roger's
band, Roger's obsession with 'Musetta's Waltz', Roger's
tendancy to steal his screenplays and write obscene comments in the
margins. It was kind of freaky."
"So, do you want to help
me?"
"I'm in."
Two hours later, April and Maureen
had a plan. It wasn't a all-out scheme, but they were both
satisfied with the idea. They each wrote a letter to their respective
boyfriends, explaining the situation. Maureen's letter was short,
and it didn't take her long to write. April, however, having known
Roger a whole lot longer than Maureen had known Mark, took a lot more
time to write her letter.
Dear
Roger,
I'd like to start out by saying that I love you, and that's why I
need to do this. I know you have feelings for Mark. Maybe even love
him. I'm okay with that. You need to stop denying it. It'll be so
much easier when you admit it to yourself and to him. I know that as
you read this, you'll be thinking that I've got this all wrong,
but stop trying to convince yourself. Stop trying to convince me. I
see it in the way you got jealous when Mark brought Maureen to the
loft. I see it in the way you steal his screenplays. I see it in the
way you always mess up "Musetta's Waltz" just so he'll
encourage you to go on.
If I continued our relationship, I'd be hurting both of us.
Mentally and physically. I've considered doing drugs to make your
denial easier on me. And I know if I actually did them, I'd end up
getting you addicted as well. It sounds harsh but it's true. I
don't want to make you a junkie, Roger. I don't want to make you
sick. I just want to give you your happy ending, and that's what
you'll get with Mark, a happy ending. Something I could never give
you, Roger. Something I wish I could. But a second choice isn't a
happy ending, Roger, and you know that as well as I do.
Maybe some day I'll regret giving up my first true love. But
today's not that day. I'd only regret making that one true love's
life miserable because he can't be with his. I don't want regret,
Roger. There's only one thing I want and that's for you to be
happy. You're happy with Mark, Roger. You're so happy. You two
are perfect for each other. You are each other's happy ending. So
take it, Roger. Take your happy ending. I can only hope that we can
stay friends, so I can see just how happy you become.
Love Always,
April
