LitGG1982 – Thank you so much for your review; it made me feel incredibly special. Don't stop writing though!
So after all the drama of last chapter, I thought I'd provide a little comic relief. This chapter's been sitting 9/10 done on my computer for like a week, and I had no will whatsoever to finish it. A little email I recently received changed that though. It went like this:
Dear Bittersweetbloodbaby,
Your story "Lights, Camera, Action!" has been nominated at Walk Away Awards. Please respond to this email stating whether you want to accept or decline this nomination. If you decline, your nominations will be taken off of the site.
And that's when I decided, gleefully, to try and work harder at this writing thing. Because no one's ever nominated me for a fanfiction award before! Thank you to whomever did this!
Mina cracked her bubble gum loudly as she skimmed the pages of the latest People Magazine, giggling at the fashion faux pas page. Celebrities were so funny. They thought they were God's gift to mankind or some crap, and that the little people around them should cater to their every whim, regardless of their actual opinions. This was evident in the outfits depicted here, the decision to wear them obviously backed up by stupid Yes Men.
She knew was these people were like firsthand, because she lived with two of them. Rory Mariano was a Class A example of a famous, whiny bitch. She had every opportunity, every luxury, every comfort. She had money, looks, fame, and Jess. And what did she do all day? Sit around and get stupid. And no one even tried to tell her that she should cut it out and get her act together. Mina had been one of Rory's biggest fans upon being hired, and it hadn't taken her long to realize that her boss was a sad excuse for a mother and wife. She only pretended to gush over her now because Jess wasn't happy during her few and fleeting moments of opposition to his wife.
Jess was different. He was cool, he was composed, he was completely aware of everything going on around him. He didn't care what the people around him thought, and he acted like a person completely content with whatever he had in life, be it meal cards or millions. HE was special. Special in general, and special to her. He treated her with genuine respect, though he was always afraid of acting like he cared about her. Years with Rory had ruined him, and Mina hated the woman for that. But she was convinced that, given time, she could help Jess. She could show him that there were other options out there besides his dork bride, and then SHE would be the one in the magazines, on his arm, wearing the pretty dresses.
Jess didn't BS with her. She knew he'd had other relationships like this, but she was confident in her ability to finally be the one to lure him away from Rory. Why not? She was young and blonde, with dazzling green eyes, sexy but minimal curves, and boobs three times the size of Rory's. Granted, this little pregnancy oopsie was a setback, but it was just another challenge she could easily surpass with time.
She had her strategy planned out. It wasn't that hard; let Jess play with her whenever he wanted until she sensed that he couldn't go without her for very long, then withhold favors until he agreed to certain things, i.e. moving out of Rory's room, getting rid of that retarded bitchy maid, going stag to publicity events, etc. From then on, it was a simple matter of kicking Rory out, filing for divorce, and keeping the kids. She liked Riley and Jane, so of course they wouldn't go near their mother if she had anything to say about it.
She smiled as she popped another bubble. She was so completely zonked out in her daydream, that she didn't hear the knocking on her door until it got louder and angrier.
"Come in?" she answered, as the door swung open to reveal Rory still in her event dress.
"Pack your bags." She turned and left, leaving the door open and Mina staring speechlessly. A few seconds later, Jess sheepishly appeared in the doorway. Breaking into a smile, Mina hopped up and bounced over to him for a kiss, but he held her at arm's length.
"She means it."
"Huh?"
"Rory. She just fired you. And I can't and won't do anything about it." She blinked, confused. Uh, hello? Master plan?
"Why?"
"Why do you think?" He sounded tired, so she didn't push. Instead she pacified, taking one of his wrists in her hands and tracing little squiggles on it.
"Maybe she'll change her mind by tomorrow." The unspoken message was clear. It was a bit too early for this phase of the plan, but he needed to fight against Rory's constricting reign.
"I don't think so." He reclaimed his hand, looking both angry and embarrassed.
"Well, I still think you should say something on my behalf. At least, that'd be nice. Otherwise, it'll be hard for me and you to sneak around." She got a little closer, so if he looked down he'd see directly down her shirt. He seemed to sense this, and didn't look down.
"We can't do that anymore. I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry. Pack your bags." He left coldly and quickly, as she gaped at the closing door like a fish.
She really hated Rory Mariano.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
"You kicked her out?" Marty asked, flabbergasted. Rory appeared quite proud of herself as she told him this, in between scenes.
"Told her to pack her bags, and then I went to bed. The door slamming woke me up, but then I zonked out again, and when I woke up, she was gone! Just like that!"
"You're really happy about this," Marty commented with a genuine smile. Rory rarely stood up for herself where her private life was concerned, so the fact that she'd done something so outrageous as fire the mistress was a big step. And not only that, she was still glowing in the aftermath of the event.
"I am." The smile faded a little. "But now I need a new nanny. Kathy's watching them today, but she has other stuff to do, not to mention the fact that we're paying her for one job when she's covering two." Marty shrugged.
"Give her a raise."
"She won't let us, but even if we did, this can only be a temporary thing. I need to find an available girl with experience in childcare, but who won't try to seduce my husband."
"NOW you throw that qualification in." She shoved him playfully, but looked like she'd taken the remark harder than he'd meant it.
"To top it all off, I don't have time to interview a dozen candidates. We're swamped for the next month up here, and I have to finish writing the New York episode." He gaped at her.
"You told me you finished that!"
"Yea, well, I thought I did too. But then I went over it, and realized that what was meant to be a deep but friendly conversation between Charlotta and Clyde had way too many intimate undertones."
"We're setting up Clyde to be with Darla."
"I know, so I had to rewrite that. And then I realized that when that scene changed, half of the episode felt funky, so I had to go back and change that. And then, I discovered that my spell check was going, and I had to edit the entire thing from credits to credits."
"And during all this, you found when time to get pregnant?"
"It only takes a few minutes, Marty dear. I guess you forget things like that when you're with a guy." He blushed as she laughed at him, and then he smacked his forehead.
"Brad! That reminds me- he took me to his step-brother Chester's for dinner a few weeks ago, and the step-brother's wife was telling us how she'd gotten laid off from the preschool she worked at because they discovered asbestos in the walls, and most of the parents had enrolled their children in a rival preschool!"
"I'm interested," Rory said, indicating him to go on. Someone called their names from the set a few yards away, and Marty held up a hand.
"Her name is Tana Schrick-Fleet. She's in her early twenties, and obviously has experience taking care of kids, but I don't think she'll try anything with Jess. First of all, she's married, and second of all…well, you'd have to meet her. I don't think she'd put two and two together."
"She's stupid?" Rory puzzled with a raised eyebrow.
"Nah, she's like a genius. Her family is apparently really ticked that she's teaching preschool, because the plan was for her to be a professor. But she's a little…clueless. She's much too shy and much too sweet to do anything with Jess, even if she figured out that there was no physical force preventing two married people from cheating on their spouses." Their names were shouted again, more urgently this time. They began heading toward them as Rory told Marty,
"Get me her number, she sounds like a Godsend. You rock, Marty!"
"I try."
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
"Mrs. Mariano!" the nurse called out into the almost-empty waiting room. Rory, the only occupant, put down the Tiger Beat she'd picked up from an end table and made her way to the door the smiling woman leaned out of. "How are you today, Mrs. Mariano?"
"I'm fine, thanks," Rory said through clenched teeth. The only other person who called her 'Mrs. Mariano' like that was Mina, and she'd rather not think of the skank at this moment.
"Can you lie down for me?" the nurse asked once they reached the examination room, and Rory complied wordlessly. The little table was uncomfortable, but it was an exclusive doctor's office, so she had no doubts there were even less comfortable tables like it out there. After taking her temperature, blood pressure, height, and weight, the woman slipped the cute little clipboard she'd recorded Rory's vital stats on in a bin by the door.
"Dr. Cho will be in to see you in a minute." She left Rory all alone to stare at the 'Your Digestive Tract!' poster on the wall. Dr. Cho had become the family doctor when baby Jane developed a nasty cold one day, and had stayed in his position ever since. A high-rate, highly-rated NYC doctor, he only catered to rich patients, but he took excellent care of said patients. He'd been the man to do practically everything for Riley's birth but catch the little boy as he made his spectacular entrance, and it appeared he'd be along for the ride once more.
"Rory Mariano! So good to see you! My daughter saw the news on MTV, and she told me to expect you any day soon."
"Well, here I am."
"Yes, here you are. And about time, too. I was beginning to think you'd gone across the street!" His cheerful professional smile dropped for a second as he scowled in the direction of the window, where a shiny building with the words "Dr. Appleman, M.D." could be seen above the street entrance. But when he looked back at Rory, he was grinning again.
"I'm sorry. I had some issues to deal with before I could nerve myself up to making this appointment."
"I'm sorry to hear that. I can recommend you to a great psychiatrist I know if that's something you're interested in checking out." She almost responded no before remembering what she'd told Jess several weeks ago. Counseling wasn't out of the question. In fact, it would probably be beneficial.
"Sure, I'll do some research if you give me their name." He beamed at her, secretly thrilled to further the gospel of his former Intro Psyche professor, Dr. Drella Bigley. He called the nurse in and asked her to get Dr. Bigley's card before pulling out Rory's file and beginning his own examinations.
"How long since you've known you were pregnant?"
"About four weeks."
"And you confirmed it how?" he asked as he scribbled in her folder.
"At-home test. Well, it wasn't actually taken at home, but that's what it's called."
"I believe I've heard of them," he joked. "And since then, any problems or strange occurrences? Bleeding, stomach cramps, feeling faint, etc?"
"No, no, and no. I was a little nauseous the past few mornings, but that's not really strange under circumstances."
"Sadly, you're right about that. Now, I'm going to give you a little stick not unsimilar to the original at-home test you took, and let you go in the bathroom down the hall to provide it with substance to analyze. When you get back, we'll take a little prick of blood, and that should be all for this visit." She took the device he handed her, not really wanting to repeat the process of waiting for results again. She KNEW she was pregnant, but she didn't really want to experience any déjà vu on this subject. It would have been easier if Jess was here, like in the good old days, but he and the already out-of-the-womb kids were up in Canada. Rory would be going home to an almost empty house, with only Kathy for company. And though she loved Kathy like a favorite aunt, she wasn't the person whom Rory should be talking to immediately after this doctor's appointment.
But, ever the complaisant, she padded down the hallway to the miniscule yet immaculate bathroom. This felt very familiar...
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
"Rory, Dr. Cho is on the phone for you," Kathy said from where she stood by the counter. Rory looked up from her oatmeal-covered son who just seemed to get livelier as his oatmeal-covered mother got more and more irritated.
"Hands kinda full, Kathy. Can you put him on speakerphone?" The correct button was pushed, and the kind Korean doctor's voice filled the kitchen.
"Hello Rory, its Dr. Cho. How are you doing today?"
"Maternally homicidal," she quipped as she tried yet again to shove the plastic spoon of oatmeal into her son's mouth. She failed as Jess walked into the room with Jane hanging from his waist.
"You are not a human being, you are a monkey," he told her as Kathy shushed him and pointed to the phone.
"Uh huh... So anyway, I'm just calling to confirm what you already knew. Congratulations, you're pregnant! I'll have my secretary call you with a list of good appointment times for next week, which is when I want to see you again. Have a nice day, and by the way, as a health care provider I feel the need to point out the obvious problems with killing whichever child-"
"Riley Charles Mariano!"
"With killing Riley. I know it's tempting, but I think you'll regret it in the long run." He hung up after wishing them a nice day once more, and Kathy had to hit several buttons before it was confirmed that the speaker feature was indeed turned off.
"Technology," she grumbled as she saw the mess Riley was creating on the floor alone (there was also quite a mess on Riley, the table, the highchair, the walls, and his mommy), and headed for the supply closet. Jane tugged on her father's pant leg after he had successfully shed her from his body.
"Like heck you're getting up again. It took me twenty minutes to shake you."
"What's pagan?" He stared at her oddly.
"Where in the world did you hear that?" She waved her arms wildly around as Jess scrunched up his eyebrows. "Where?"
"She means pregnant, she heard it on the voice that just filled the kitchen, and she wants to know what it means because she obviously didn't understand and doesn't remember it from when you told her Riley was coming," Kathy commented matter-of-factly as she came back into the kitchen.
"Uh, Rory? Help?" At that moment Riley's oatmeal bowl clanged off the refrigerator door, and Rory grabbed the toddler out of his seat, his face welling up.
"I'm a little busy, Jess!"
"Down! Down!"
"Daddy, tell me what it means!"
"Down! Down!"
"Oh, you're not getting down until you've reached the bathtub, mister."
"Looks like you've got to field this one by yourself, Jess."
"Please tell me Daddy! Is it a secret?"
"Rory, are you sure I shouldn't wait for you to be there so we can tell her together?"
"DOWN! DOWN!"
"I think you're fully capable of handling it by yourself, Jess. Having testosterone does not make you incapable of explaining-RILEY YOU'RE HURTING MOMMY!"
"DOWN! DOWN!"
"I'm good at secrets, Daddy!"
"Jess, just talk to you daughter."
"RILEY WANT DOWN!
