A/N Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! You all rule! hehe,

Hope you enjoy, oh a bit of um... foreplay in this chapter. Or something... anyway just warning you. Nothing too graphic though. Again, just tell me if you think the rating should go up.

Chapter 5- Neela

I was on the sofa, flicking through the channels trying to find something that was a compromise between the news and cheesy-chat-shows, when Ray came home. He walked in a dumped his rucksack on the floor before sitting down next to me, and pulling half the blanket onto him.

"Hey Roomie," he said, leaning his head back against the sofa and closing his eyes. "I am so tired."

"What do you want me to do about it?" I said, slightly moodily at having my peace broken. I hadn't actually gotten much sleep last night either, I'd felt really guilty for skipping work. I knew they were short staffed and they'd probably needed me.

"Oh, touchy!"

"Sorry," I said, "I didn't get much sleep last night."

He opened one eye, "Dreaming about me?"

"No!"

"Michael?"

"No! God, what is it with guys and their egos, it was no-one, male or female, keeping me awake. Just a good friend of mine called guilt."

He burst out laughing, "You're feeling guilty? What for?"

"Skipping work yesterday."

"No-one missed you."

"Thanks," I said, huffy again.

"Not like that. God, you really are tired. Let me get you coffee before you eat me or something. I'm going to grab a shower first though, you don't want any ER gunge in your coffee."

"Fine," I said, settling back down on the sofa my eyes closed just for a minute.

He came back in, wrapped in a towel but still dripping wet. His body was tanned and well-muscled.

"Ray, what are you doing? Get bloody dressed!"

He flashed me one of his smiles, "I thought it'd be easier like this."

"Wh-" was all I got to before he leaned toward me and kissed me. It was just a quick brush of the lips, then he shifted his position and leaned closer to me, kissing me with more force. And what surprised me was that I was kissing him back, I felt as though it was something I'd always wanted to do, feel his lips against mine, his tongue against mine. His hand cupped my face and stroked my cheek. His other hand tickled my side as he caressed me. His hand slipped up my top and traced around my bra which made me moan a little...

"Neela?" I sat bolt upright and saw Ray, fully dressed, carrying to cups of coffee. "Are... you ok?"

"Um..." Apart from dying of embarrassment? Of course. What the hell had that been about? "Yeah... I must have just drifted off to sleep." I faked a yawn, "More tired than I thought."

He gave me a curious look, "You were moaning, and sort of... writhing."

"Um..." His face broke out into a grin, that kind of grin that only he could do without looking pervy.

"Oh, you were dreaming about a person weren't you! Michael right? Aw do you miss him that much?" He said, still grinning.

"I..." I considered which alternative was better. The truth- No I was dreaming about you, my room-mate or this tiny lie- I was dreaming about my boyfriend. Either was embarrassing but the latter slightly less so, "Yeah... he's been away a while."

He sat down next to me and handed me my coffee, "I understand, we all have our needs."

I drank my coffee, feeling myself burning up, I was never going to live this down.

"You what?" Abby said, spluttering. We were sitting in the Doctor's Lounge, and I'd been telling her about my dream over coffee.

"I... had a dream about him," I repeated.

"About Ray? Ray Barnett?" I just nodded. "God... Really?"

"Why would I lie?"

"I guess... it's just weird. I mean, I thought something weird was going on yesterday when you didn't come in but..."

"It's nothing serious!" I said, outraged. Then I shook my head and added, "It isn't even a thing because it was a stupid dream."

She nodded, "Yeah you're probably just horny."

I stood, open-mouthed. She laughed.

"Girls get sexual urges too."

"I... but..." I didn't really know what to say to that. "So what, this is just some weird fantasy?"

"I hope so," she replied, before walking out.

"Me too," I added, under my breath. I so did not need some sort of crush on Ray right now. I had enough of a crisis with Michael. Which reminded me, he'd written me a letter, informing he would be coming home next month. For a grand total of two nights and then he was off again. I put my head in my hands, what the hell was I going to do?

After my shift I had run through all possible ideas. I could dump Michael, or I could stay his supportive little girlfriend, hoping for a miracle. I'd briefly considered trying to persuade him to stay here but I knew that was never going to happen. Even if he wasn't required to go back, he would. He had his sense of duty, and sometimes that seemed to mean more to him than me. When I got home Ray was sitting on the sofa, strumming at a guitar.

"Hey Roomie," he called to me as I walked in, exhausted, both physically and mentally.

I only groaned in return. He flashed me a cheerful smile.

"Someone's happy."

"Why are you damned happy?"

He gave me a pervy wink, "A gentleman never kisses and tells."

"Oh shut up," I said, slumping down beside him.

"What's up with Neela-kins?" He asked, in a baby voice. I flashed him a glare. "Oh, get you! Seriously, what's up?"

"Relationship problems, as always."

"Yeah, I saw you got a letter," he said, sounding sincere and sympathetic. I don't think I'd really heard him being sympathetic before.

I turned to him, not quiet believing that I was asking him for advice, but I had nowhere else to turn. "Alright Michael's coming home in about a month."

"That's good isn't it?"

"Only for two days."

"Oh," he remained silent and waited for me to continue.

"So, I have to make a decision. Do I love him enough to stick through this, all his time in Iraq, I mean we only just started going out when he went, do we even have a proper relationship? Or am I just kidding myself."

"Ok, wait. So, you dump him, or you stick through it?"

"Um, yeah that kinda sums it up."

He considered for a minute, "Do you love him?"

"Yes... I think so, he's a wonderful person."

"I asked you whether you loved him. Mother Theresa was a wonderful person, but I wasn't in love with her."

"You're too damn clever to hide behind that jokey exterior."

"And you're getting away from the point. Do you love him."

"Honestly?" I asked, he nodded, "I just don't know. I don't feel like I actually know him."

"In some ways it doesn't matter. I mean, even if you do love him, or think you might grow to love him, that doesn't mean your going to be happy being his supportive little wife. I've not known you all that long but that doesn't seem like you Neela. You have your own life, your own things you want to do."

"I know... but I really like him, and I want to give it a chance."

He sighed, "Look, if you want two different things that aren't going to happen together -realistically, you have to chose which is more important to you. I can't help you with that though. You have to make that decision."

"I know, why is this so hard? Shouldn't I just know whether I love him enough?"

He shrugged and gave a smile, "I'm not the expert I'm afraid, in fact I can't believe you actually came to me with this."

I got up, heading for the shower, "I didn't have much choice," he pouted and broke out laughing. I walked out, shaking my head.