It's dinnertime.

I leave my room, and walk toward the cafeteria.

I'm the last person to get there—everyone else is already at their seats. On the cafeteria's back wall—behind Captain Mizuki—I see… something. Two somethings. Two large, manga-style portraits have been taped to the wall. I walk over to them, curious.

I recognize Naomi's art style right away. It's very distinctive. Plus, I've read everything she's ever published, so… I've got an eye for it.

In Ryu's portrait, he's grinning and pointing a thumb at himself, staring directly at me. He has one foot on his turned-around chair, and is leaning subtly forward. A confident, charismatic pose. I recognize it—he made this pose when he nominated himself for Captain.

Hiroto's portrait is beside Ryu's. The Ultimate Attorney is standing at… one of the podiums in the class trial? He's looking at someone off-screen, and pointing at them, wearing a stern expression. His mouth is open; it looks like he's shouting "OBJECTION!" or something. His eyes are fierce and determined. His body is strong and rigid and unmovable.

It's perfect. I almost cry.

I look between the two portraits. What a contrast. Ryu Minamoto, the Ultimate Yakuza, a man outside the law; Hiroto Oshiro, the Ultimate Attorney, a man of the law. Ryu pointing at himself; Hiroto pointing outward, toward Justice. Ryu the Ambitious, speaking up for himself, explaining why he deserves more. Hiroto the Advocate, giving voice to the voiceless, explaining why others deserve anything at all.

They both would've loved these.

"They're totally amazing, right?" says Akiko, who's sitting to the Captain's left. "That's the Ultimate Mangaka for you!"

"It was nothing, really," Naomi says, smiling slightly; she's sitting to the Captain's right. "Inspiration just hit me, all of a sudden. Taping them to the wall was the Captain's idea."

"I-I thought…" Mizuki mutters quietly, "it m-makes for a… f-fitting memorial…"

"It does," I agree, unable to tear my eyes away. "This… is exactly how they'd want to be remembered."

Eventually, I stop gawking, and sit down at my usual place.

A few minutes later, I hear a rhythmic clapping from the head of the table. This time, Akiko's the source.

"Okay, everyone!" Akiko says. "The Captain's got some things to say, so listen up!"

"Um…" Mizuki mutters. She's staring at her hands. "Th-thank you all for your d-diligent search of the second floor… It w-went very well…" Her confidence boost from this morning seems to be fading away. She's reverting back to her shy, quiet self.

As usual, Akiko steps in to save her. "Great job everyone!" Akiko announces, pumping her fist. "Our Captain commends you! …Enough about that, though! We'll have plenty of time to talk about the second floor later. And we'll keep searching it, too! But that's not our biggest issue right now. Tonight, we've got some emotional trauma to deal with!"

"Uh," says Tsubasa. "You said that in a… weirdly cheerful tone."

"Of course I did!" says Akiko. "I'm full of cheer, so that makes me cheerful!"

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "Two people died, though…"

"I know it may seem insensitive," says Naomi. "But I think Akiko's attitude is a perfectly healthy one."

"I agree," Shingo says—he's sitting at his small table behind Akiko, as usual. "We need to think about this logically. Monokuma is trying to make our lives miserable—but the more we allow that misery to consume us, the less likely we are to escape. Demoralization is a powerful enemy—and we ought to strike against it before it can dig its claws into us."

"Yep!" says Akiko. "And that's why… that's why…" She looks at Mizuki, barely restraining herself. "That's enough buildup, right, Captain? Can I announce it now? Please please please?"

"O-okay," Mizuki mutters, nodding.

Akiko faces us, beaming. "And that's why," she continues, "We're gonna put the 'fun' back in 'funeral'! Tonight, let's all lay back, relax, and have a good time at the Hiroto and Ryu Memorial Pool Party!"

"The Hiroto…" Tsubasa begins.

"And Ryu…" Yuna adds.

"Memorial…" says Jeff.

"…Pool Party?" I finish.

"Those are all the words!" Akiko says, winking.

"I know how it sounds," says Naomi, "but I think this is the best way to go about it. We did consider holding a more typical memorial service. However, we decided that it would be… a bit too morbid."

"More bleakness is the last thing we need right now," says Shingo.

"Yep!" says Akiko. "So we're going for a big ol' dose of cheer instead! Right, Captain?"

"Y-yes," Mizuki says quietly. She seems like she's trying very hard to not fade away into the background, which is her natural state. "I agree w-with everything they just s-said…"

"Well, there you have it!" says Akiko. "The Hiroto and Ryu Memorial Pool party will be held after dinner, at the pool on the second floor. Attendance is totally mandatory!"

"…It's not mandatory…" Mizuki mutters.

"Attendance is totally not mandatory!" says Akiko. "But if you don't come, I'll follow you around all day tomorrow, and ask you why you hate us so much, and cry really loudly!"

"I'll try to stop her," Noami says, shrugging, "but I probably won't be able to, so consider yourself warned."

"But—wait a moment!" says Yuna. "I get holding a memorial for Hiroto, but—Ryu? He killed someone! He's a murderer! That's the worst kind of person there is! We should—we should just forget that he even existed!"

There's an uncomfortable silence. Even Akiko's smile disappears.

"Um…" says Akiko. "Well… the thing about that is…"

For once, it's Mizuki who steps in to save Akiko.

"I-I understand how you feel, Yuna," says Mizuki. Her eyes dart back and forth between Yuna and her own hands. "If you don't want to th-think about Ryu, that's your own d-decision. But Ryu d-didn't… choose to be p-put in this… situation. If others want to… m-memorialize him… you should r-respect that choice, as well."

"Personally," says Naomi, "I choose to remember Ryu as we knew him. The Ryu I made friends with, before Monokuma manipulated him into committing such an awful crime."

"But if you want to hate Ryu," says Akiko, "then that's your own choice—like our Captain just said. That was a great point, Captain!"

"Th-thank you…" Mizuki says, blushing slightly.

Yuna crosses her arms and looks away, pouting. Poor Yuna. She trusted Ryu so much. It'll be a while before she can get over this…

"So," says Akiko, "does anyone else have any questions?"

"Um," Jeff says, raising his hand, "is this… really okay, though? I mean… a pool party as a funeral? Is that… okay?"

"I think it's perfect," I pipe up. "Think about it—this is exactly what Hiroto would have wanted. And… Ryu would've wanted it, too."

We think about it.

"Yeah," Tsubasa admits, "I can sorta picture that."

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "They'd want us to enjoy ourselves…"

I imagine Hiroto sitting in his now-empty seat across from me.

"Well, I'd hate to inconvenience anyone," my imaginary Hiroto says, smiling slightly, touching the back of his head. "If my death is the excuse you need to party, then—at least something good came out of it."

I look away, and smile to myself.


After dinner, we go to the second floor, and gather in the room that leads to the locker rooms. Rin goes to get a bathing suit from her room, but she returns to us quickly. Now there's only two people missing.

"Looks like Jun skipped out," says Tsubasa.

"Emi, too," I point out.

"The two lone wolves, huh?"

"Yeah," I reply, "those two do seem like they're more… independent than the rest of us."

Then the door opens—and Jun walks inside.

"Jun!" Akiko cheers. "You came!"

"Huh," says Tsubasa. "I guess you didn't bail after all."

"Guess not," Jun growls, rubbing his constantly-tired-looking face. "To be honest, this isn't really my kind of thing. But, even so. I don't want Akiko bugging the hell out of me tomorrow. So, here I am."

"Hooray!" Akiko cheers. "Say what you want about me—but my methods are effective!"

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "They're not exactly ethical, though…"

"Well, it just goes to show," Jun says, shrugging. "Terrorism works."

Then the door opens—and Emi walks inside.

"Emi!" Akiko cheers. "You came too!"

"Please forgive my lateness," Emi says, bowing slightly. "I had unfinished business in my office—and it would bother me greatly to leave my work in such an incomplete state."

"It's totally fine!" says Akiko. "Thank you for coming, everyone! Omigosh, I'm so excited! Can we start now, Captain? Can we?"

"…Okay…" Mizuki mutters.

"Then let the Hiroto and Ryu Memorial Pool Party officially commence! First we'll get changed in the locker rooms, and then—"

"WAIT!" screams Yuna.

Everyone looks at her.

"We… we just ate, though!" says Yuna. "We can't swim right after eating! We'll all get cramps, and die!"

"Hmm," says Momoka. "Isn't that a myth, though?"

"Um… I—I mean…" Yuna sounds less confident now. "Maybe it's not the most dangerous thing ever, but there—there is a risk of cramping, though…"

"It's okay!" says Akiko. "We can wait! Actually, I've thought of a fun activity we can do in the meantime. C'mon!"

She leads us to the weight room. We gather in front of the bench press—a black bench with a barbell suspended over it. Nearby, there's a stand with lots of circular weights, which can be added to the barbell.

"Exercise?" Tsubasa says skeptically. "That's our 'fun activity'?"

"A wise decision," Takeru says, smiling and nodding. "Time spent improving one's taijutsu is time put to good use."

"Um, sure," says Rin. "But that's not exactly, like. A party activity, though."

"It'll be fun, I promise!" Akiko retorts. "This isn't just exercise. We're gonna have a weightlifting contest!"

"A contest?" says Tsubasa.

"That's right!" Akiko says, winking. "The fourteen of us are gonna show what we've got! And whoever's strongest…" She points at Rin. "…Will receive a kiss from the lovely Rin Ono!"

"Um… why me, though?" asks Rin, taken aback.

"You just seem like you'd probably agree to it!"

"Um… okay," Rin says, cocking an eyebrow. "I'm, like. Pretty sure you just called me a slut? Which, like. True. But also, like. Rude."

"On the other hand," Akiko continues without missing a beat, "if one of the girls here happens to win…" She points to Jeff. "…They'll receive a kiss from the very manly Jeffrey Silverstein!"

"I see," Jeff says, rubbing his chin contemplatively. "So I have been chosen for the role of manslut." He nods sagely. "I shall fulfill my role to the best of my abilities!"

"On the third hand," Akiko continues, "if I'm the winner…" She points to Mizuki. "…Then I'll receive a kiss from our adorable Captain, Mizuki Tenshi!"

"W-why are you an exception?" Mizuki asks, sounding flustered.

"I'm sorry, Captain!" says Akiko. "I just can't let anyone else have a chance to taste those precious little lips! Only me!"

"T-taste them?"

"Takeru!" Akiko says, moving on. "You seemed pretty excited to lift some weights, so why don't you get us started? Show us how it's done!"

"The protagonist does not typically go first in such a contest," Takeru says, arms crossed. "However, I shall make an exception in this case. Though, be warned—if none here can match my strength, this contest might quickly become dull."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take!"

Meanwhile, I whisper to Kenji: "Who do you think will win?"

"It's hard to say," Kenji whispers back.

"Yeah," I agree. "There aren't any Sakura Ogamis or Gonta Gokuharas in this bunch. There aren't even that many athletes. Rin's the only one, really… and golfing isn't the most physically demanding sport. Everyone else is, like… the Ultimate Accountant, or the Ultimate Fangirl, or whatever."

"We are a pretty nerdy bunch," Kenji agrees.

Meanwhile, Takeru has finished setting up, and is now lying flat on the bench. In addition to the 50-pound bar, he's added two 50-pound disks and two 25-pound disks—one per side.

"You're starting off with 200 pounds?" says Naomi. "That seems like a bit much."

"Ha!" laughs Takeru. "Child's play!"

"W-wait a moment!" Yuna squeals.

Everyone looks at her.

"Exercising right after eating is… also not the best idea…"

Yuna shrinks under our collective glare. We've already gotten sort of invested in this.

"…But… it's not that big a deal," Yuna admits, "so, I guess we can do it…"

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "Yuna actually backed down, for once…"

"I—I didn't back down!" squeals Yuna. "I just—didn't want to ruin everyone's fun, that's all! It's not like I'm after that kiss, or anything…!"

"…No one said you were," Tsubasa points out.

"Enough banter!" Takeru declares. "Now, witness the strength of a true shinobi!"

I watch, awed, as Takeru lifts 200 pounds without much difficulty. When he puts the barbell down, a few of us start clapping—myself included.

"Hold your applause!" says Takeru. "I am not finished yet!"

At Takeru's request, Akiko and Shingo add 25-pound disks to each side of the barbell, increasing the weight to 250 pounds. Takeru lifts this, too—but it takes longer, and his arms are shaking as he does it. Still—I'm very impressed.

Next, they add 20 more pounds. Takeru struggles—but with a lot of difficulty, he manages to lift the 270-pound barbell.

"That's enough, Takeru!" Yuna shouts. "Any more, and your arms will burst!"

"Indeed," Takeru says, sitting up, panting. "It appears I've reached my limit."

"It's quite an impressive limit," says Naomi.

"That was more than impressive!" says Tsubasa. "It was frickin' amazing! It's almost like you're a real ninja, or something!"

"Wait… is Takeru not a real ninja?" says Jeff, who's a bit slow on the uptake.

"Honestly, I'm starting to wonder…" I mutter.

"Ha!" Takeru laughs, doing cool-down stretches. "Deny me if you wish, civilians! Your doubt only improves my ability to blend in with your kind."

"Takeru is very… committed to his character," Shingo says, doing warm-up stretches. "To that end, he's become quite strong. I've even taken some lessons from him." He grins. "I haven't trained as hard as Takeru—but I do have a size advantage, which evens the odds a bit."

It's true—Shingo is several inches taller than Takeru. In fact, Shingo's the second-tallest person here, next to Jun. I wonder if that's all it'll take to win?

Shingo warms up with 100 pounds. Then he lifts 200 pounds—but he clearly struggles harder than Takeru did.

Soon, Shingo lifts 230 pounds—but it's clear that he's reached his limit.

"Impressive," says Takeru. "The gap between us is a mere 40 pounds. With enough training, your strength may even come to rival mine!"

"I doubt it," Shingo says, doing cool-down stretches. "You'd be quite a bit stronger if it weren't for that arm injury."

"Ha!" laughs Takeru. "I should have known you would see through me. Indeed—that wound has placed a temporary limit on my strength."

Oh… that's right. Takeru got hit by Monokuma's Spear of Gungnir on our first day here. That makes it even more impressive that he can lift so much weight.

"Alright!" says Akiko. "It's time for the main event!" She flexes. "That's right—yours truly is about to show you all up!"

She starts adjusting the weights on the barbell.

"Excuse me," Takeru says, raising his hand. "It seems unbecoming that the women here are forced to compete with us men. Should we not divide this competition in twain?"

"Um, how about not," Rin says, crossing her arms. "You fucking sexist."

"Well…" I say nervously. "…It's not sexist to say that men are usually stronger than women. But… there are exceptions, though. Sakura Ogami was the strongest person in the world, and she was a girl."

"It'd be totally awesome if one of the girls won!" says Yuna. "There's no way I'm giving up that chance!"

"I understand both sides of this," says Naomi. "But Rin is the one putting her lips on the line, so I think her say ought to be final."

"Hey, what're you guys babbling about?" says Akiko, who's now lying on the bench. "C'mon—I need someone to spot me!"

We gawk at the barbell.

"Three hundred pounds?" gasps Tsubasa.

"Seriously?" says Shingo.

"Yep!" Akiko replies. "Like they say—go big, or go home!"

"Even so," says Noami, "shouldn't you warm up with lighter weights?"

"Hm… yeah, probably," Akiko admits. "Oh well. Too late now!"

She brings the barbell down to her chest, arms shaking.

We watch—eyes wide—as she raises the barbell, and puts it back in its place.

"Holy crap!" says Tsubasa.

"She's really strong!" says Jeff.

"Im…impossible!" Takeru says, gazing at Akiko in disbelief. "To think that I was defeated so quickly… and by such an unlikely opponent!"

"It's not as unlikely as you think," Akiko says, winking at him. "Sailing isn't just lounging around on a boat, you know. It's hard work! There's lots of manual labor involved!"

"Yeah," Tsubasa mutters, "but still…"

"Hold that thought, Tsubasa," says Akiko. "I'm not finished yet!"

Akiko adds 50 pounds, and—amazingly—manages to lift the 350-pound barbell before calling it quits. Then she stands up—and jumps for joy. "Woohoo! That kiss is as good as mine!"

"Jeez," I whisper to Kenji. "These people are all so strong."

"Well," Kenji whispers back, "they… do say that Ultimates tend to be stronger than non-Ultimates. Especially if their talent is something athletic-related."

"I guess Akiko's talent counts. She's the same size I am, but she lifted so much…"

"Okay, then!" Akiko announces. "Who's up next?"

"What's the point?" Tsubasa laments. "You basically just won."

"Aw, c'mon," says Akiko. "It's not about winning. This is just for fun!" She winks. "Plus, you never know 'till you try."

"I—I want to go!" I pipe up, raising my hand. "I mean, I've… never tried this kind of thing before, so…"

"That's perfect!" Akiko cheers. "First time's the charm!"

Nervously, I walk up to the bench. I stretch the way Shingo tells me to, and watch them remove weights from the barbell. I'm not really sure why I volunteered for this, but… well…

If Ultimates tend to be strong…

And I'm an Ultimate…

And I've never really tested my strength before…

Then… maybe I'm way stronger than I think!

I mean… maybe not. But now I'm kind of excited to find out!

"Since this is your first time," says Naomi, "we'll start you out with just the 50-pound bar, and no extra weights."

"Yep!" says Akiko. "Then we'll keep adding weights from there!"

Now I'm lying down, and looking at the barren bar hanging above me. I raise my arms, and grab the bar. Here goes nothing…

I push.

And push.

And push and push and push.

And push and push and pant and groan and sweat and push and wheeze and moan and…

What the heck? Why is this thing so heavy!? How can anyone ever lift this!?

"Stop it, Koi!" shouts Yuna. "You're going to hyperventilate, and die!"

I drop my arms, still panting and sweating. "W… wait," I mutter between breaths. "I… I can do this…"

"Hmm," Momoka mutters. "You obviously can't, though…"

"Don't push yourself, Koi," says Naomi.

My face is burning… is that from overexertion? Or embarrassment? Probably both. Mostly embarrassment, though.

Ugh… why did it have to turn out like this…?

"It's okay, Koi," says Akiko. "If you can't lift this bar, we'll just replace it with the 10-pound kiddie bar!"

"K-kiddie bar?" I repeat, mortified.

"Yep!" says Akiko. "It's not just for kids, though—it's also for weak adults!"

Just kill me now…

They replace the bar with a thinner one. I grab it, and bring it down to my chest. This one's not so bad… I can lift it pretty easily.

After that, they add 10 pounds, and I try again. I can also lift the 20-pound barbell… it's a lot harder, though.

They add 10 pounds. The 30-pound barbell is so heavy. I can lift it—but my arms are shaking. I feel like they're about to fall off!

"I think that's enough," Naomi says once I put the barbell down.

"Yeah…" I say weakly, standing up, wondering why the heck I agreed to this.

"Aw—don't feel bad, Koi," Akiko says reassuringly. "You gave it your all, and that's what counts!"

"That's right," Jeff agrees. "Plus, 30 pounds isn't that bad for a beginner."

"Sure it isn't!" says Akiko.

"What are you talking about?" Yuna snaps. "That was horrible! Koi, you need to eat your vegetables!"

"C'mon, Yuna—don't be mean," Akiko says, waving dismissively. "It wasn't that…" She shoots me an apologetic smile. "…Well, okay, 30 pounds is actually not good at all." She winks. "But most girls are pretty weak, anyway, so it's totally fine!"

Says the girl who just lifted 350 pounds in front of everyone…

I stomp over to Kenji, my face still burning with embarrassment. Suddenly, inspiration hits me. "Kenji!" I shout. Then I get behind him—and push him toward the bench. "I'm really weak, so—go prove that you can protect me!"

"I—wait, what?" replies a very confused Kenji.

Soon, they're setting up for Kenji, and I'm standing back to watch.

Hm… I wonder why I just did that? It was kind of a weird thing to say, now that I think about it. Oh, well. Kenji's all flustered now, and that's hilarious, so I guess it was worth it.

Kenji's a beginner, too—but unlike me, he manages to lift the 50-pound bar. In the end, he lifts 100 pounds before calling it quits.

"Not bad, Kenji!" cheers Akiko.

"Really?" Kenji says, scratching his elbow nervously. "I was kinda hoping to do better, to be honest…"

"You did fine!" I say, beaming at him. "I mean, you're more than three times stronger than I am. You could beat me up three times over!"

"…I'd… rather not, though…"

"Hey, why are we praising him?" asks Yuna. "A boy his age should totally be able to lift his own weight. It's not a good sign if he can't!" She points an accusing finger at Kenji. "You need to take better care of your body! At this rate, you'll die of a heart attack in your eighties!"

"That… doesn't sound so bad," Kenji mutters.

"It's horrible!" Yuna snaps. "If you can't even live to be a hundred, it means you're not trying hard enough!"

"Um, Yuna…" Akiko begins.

But Yuna is already stomping toward the bench. "Step aside!" she demands. "I'll show you what a real healthy body can do!"

The tiny girl starts stretching her tiny arms.

"Um… no offense, Yuna," says Tsubasa, "but it's not all that impressive if you can lift your own weight."

"It kind of is, actually," says Jeff. "When you judge someone's strength, it's important to account for size. That's why competitive weightlifting has different size categories."

"That is true," Shingo says, scratching his chin. "Larger people have an inherent advantage, when it comes to strength. Perhaps we should judge this contest based on the percentage of one's body weight that one can lift."

"Um," Akiko interjects. "Well… there's a problem with that, Shingo. If we judge this based on body weight percentage, then… we'd have to go around and make everyone say how much they weigh."

"It's generally considered rude to ask a lady her weight," says Naomi.

"That's right!" says Yuna. "It'd be totally rude to make Momoka say how fat she is! Just think of how embarrassing that'd be for her!"

"Hmm," Momoka mutters. "You call me fat all the time, though…"

"I'm an expert," Yuna replies, crossing her arm and nodding sagely. "I'm the only one who's qualified to know who the fatties are."

"Ummmmmm… oooooookay then, Yuna," Akiko says nervously. "At some point, we're gonna have a little chat about those words that come out of your mouth. But for now, let's keep this fun atmosphere going! C'mon—show us what you got!"

"You better flipping believe I will!"

I'm impressed when Yuna lifts 100 pounds.

I'm even more impressed when she lifts 150 pounds.

And I'm absolutely amazed when this tiny, tiny girl manages to lift 200 pounds.

"Alright, Yuna!" cheers Jeff.

"This girl would make a fine shinobi," Takeru says, smiling.

"Jeez," Tsubasa says, barely able to believe his eyes. "If we did judge this by body weight percentage, you'd definitely win!"

"It's not about winning," Yuna says, triumphantly leaving the bench. "It's about sending a message. A message about eating right and exercising daily!"

I guess she has a point. It's no coincidence that the Ultimate Dietician has such a powerful body, despite her size.

"I suppose I'll give this a try," Naomi says, stepping toward the bench.

In the end, Naomi lifts a maximum of 120 pounds.

"Nice job, Naomi!" Akiko says, pumping her arm. "120 pounds is pretty good for a girl!"

Naomi smiles. "Well, I do have to keep these arms somewhat in shape. Drawing for hours on end can get tiring, after all."

Ugh, everyone is showing me up. Am I really the weakest person here…?

"So—who's next?" asks Akiko. "C'mon—don't be shy! Let's keep this thing rolling!"

"U-um…" Mizuki mutters. "I-I should go…"

"…You don't have to do that, Captain," Akiko says, holding out her palms. "We all know that you have inner strength—and that's what counts!"

Her attitude changed really fast, huh?

"B-but…" Mizuki says quietly, staring at her feet. "If e-everyone else is doing it then… I s-shouldn't be an exception. As the C-Captain, I… should join in. B-because we're… all equal on a p-pirate ship. And I w-want everyone to r-remember that."

"Gah!" Akiko squeals, covering her eyes. "No—it's too cute when you're being selfless! I have to look away!"

They set up for Mizuki—our tiny, frail-looking Captain—starting her off with the 10-pound "kiddie bar," and no extra weights. Mizuki looks nervously at the bar. She grabs it.

She pushes.

And pushes. And pushes and pushes.

And pushes and pants and huffs and sweats and pushes and pushes…

…And lifts the bar. And brings it down to her chest. And lifts it back up, arms trembling, red-faced, breathing heavily.

"YES!" Akiko cheers, jumping for joy. "You did it, Captain! I knew you could!"

After that, Mizuki tries to lift 15 pounds—but her arms are tired. It's too much for her.

Well, at least there's one person here I could beat in a fight.

"That was… a nice try!" Jeff says, trying to find a positive spin as always.

"I-I know it wasn't very good…" Mizuki mutters, stepping away from the bench, looking somewhat embarrassed.

"It doesn't matter, Captain!" Akiko assures her. "It's the strength inside that counts! Plus, I think it's cute that you're so weak! It totally brings out my protective instincts, and makes me want to punch anyone who even looks at you funny!"

"…Please don't do that…"

"In any case," says Naomi, "I'm glad that you tried. It was very brave of you."

"That's right!" Yuna agrees. Suddenly, she pushes Momoka toward the bench. "Come on, Momoka! Even Mizuki gave it her all—so you don't have any excuse not to!"

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "Okay, I guess…"

Soon, Momoka's lying back, with the barren 10-pound bar above her. She grabs it.

She pushes.

And pushes. And pushes and pushes and…

…She lets go.

"Hmm," she mutters. "I'm done."

"You're… done?" Shingo replies, cocking an eyebrow.

"Mhm," Momoka affirms. "Too much work."

"What do you mean, too much work!?" Yuna shouts. "That was terrible! You barely even tried!"

But Momoka is already standing up.

"I… suppose that's 0 pounds, then," Shingo says quietly.

Meanwhile, I'm smiling to myself. In my mind, I'm celebrating.

YES! That's two people I could beat in a fight! I'm on a roll!

"I might as well go now," says Tsubasa. "I mean—no offense, but that was the world's easiest act to follow."

Tsubasa—the smallest boy here—maxes out at 90 pounds.

"Not bad, Tsubasa!" Jeff cheers.

But Tsubasa—in true gamer fashion—seems upset about his relatively low score. "Whatever," he grumbles, walking away. "Who needs strength, anyway? I've got reflexes."

"The art of dodging will only bring you so far," Takeru counters. "A day will come when you must stand up and fight."

"Yeah, well… until that day comes, I'm gonna stick to gaming."

Meanwhile, Akiko looks around. "Let's see… who hasn't gone yet?" Then she points. "Emi! C'mon—give it a try!"

"Oh, dear," says Emi. "I apologize, but I'm afraid I must decline." Suddenly, she assumes a shy, feminine pose. "Weightlifting is quite the rough activity. For a delicate girl such as myself… I'm afraid it simply wouldn't be a good fit."

I want to roll my eyes, but I'm afraid they'd roll out of my sockets and into orbit. Yeah, right. Emi is a Togami. She's definitely taken self-defense classes. She could probably beat up most of the guys here. But the Togamis are notoriously paranoid. Clearly, Emi just doesn't want anyone here to know how strong she is.

"Heh," Jun chuckles. "Guess I'm up, then."

Jun's the tallest guy here, and by a comfortable margin. I wonder how much that matters? He's also the Ultimate Hacker, which isn't the most physical talent. Plus, he looks pretty skinny. I doubt he's all that muscular.

As we watch, Jun lifts 100 pounds.

Then 200 pounds.

Then 300 pounds.

And then—our eyes popping—we watch Jun bench-press 400 pounds.

"NOOOOOOO!" Akiko screams, sinking to her knees, clutching her head. "It's over! My victory is ruined! I'll never get that kiss! There's no point in even living anymore!"

"What the fuck, Jun?" Tsubasa says, equal parts surprised and impressed. "You've been holding out on us!"

"Seriously!" Jeff agrees.

"There's—there's no way," says a shell-shocked Yuna. "There's no way someone who eats so much junk food could be so strong!"

"I must admit," says Shingo, "this is a bit of a surprise."

"That so?" Jun says, grinning slyly. He stands up, and does cool-down stretches. "Well. In my line of work, you tend to make a lot of enemies. Best to always be prepared."

"Oh, God," Rin groans. "Do I, like. Seriously have to kiss this weirdo?"

Jun grins at her. "Excited?"

"Um, no. I would rather kiss a baboon that just rolled around in its own shit."

Honestly, I… get where Rin is coming from. When I first met Jun, something about him seemed really cool to me. But ever since he messed with us in the class trial, plus that unauthorized little "experiment" he did… I… can't see him that way anymore. His tired eyes, his smug grin, his thin face, his lazy posture, his messy hair—it all just seems… kind of gross, now.

"Heh," Jun chuckles. "Gotta admit. I like myself a feisty woman."

"You can like me in private," Rin retorts, stepping toward the bench. "Because I'm about to kick your fucking ass."

Rin does warm-up stretches while they set up the barbell. Maybe Rin was a bit mean, but… honestly, I'm rooting for her.

As we watch, Rin lifts 100 pounds.

Then 200 pounds.

Then 300 pounds.

And then—our eyes popping—we watch Rin bench-press 400 pounds.

And then… 500 pounds!

We applaud.

"Get fucking bent," Rin says, standing up.

Jun shrugs. "Win some, lose some."

"Wow," I whisper to Kenji. "I was totally wrong about Rin's talent. The Ultimate Golfer is as athletic as they come."

"Those are some serious swinging arms," Kenji concurs.

"Okay!" Akiko announces. "Only one person left!" She points. "You're up, Jeff!"

"Oh, wow!" says Jeff. "I was so invested, I totally forgot about my turn!"

He starts stretching. They set up the barbell.

"This is… already kind of over, though," I point out. "Either Jeff wins a kiss from Rin, or Rin wins a kiss from Jeff—it's the same result either way."

"But this'll determine the power dynamic!" Yuna counters.

"Hmm," says Momoka. "Who'll be the kisser, and who'll be the kissee…?"

Soon, Jeff is lying down, ready for action.

As we watch, Jeff lifts 100 pounds.

Then 200 pounds.

Then 300 pounds.

And then… 400 pounds.

And then—we're all gawking, with bated breath…

510 pounds!

For a moment, there's a stunned silence.

Then we applaud.

"…And we have a winner!" Akiko announces.

"C-congratulations, Jeff," says Mizuki.

"Now who's holding out on whom?" says Jun.

"Seriously!" says Tsubasa. "Jeez—way to make the rest of us look bad!"

"Well, I've got to stay in shape for my performances," Jeff says, standing up and stretching. "They're exhausting!"

"I guess we have more athletes here than I thought," I whisper to Kenji.

"Kabuki is serious business," Kenji replies. "…Apparently."

"Ooookay then, Jeff!" Akiko announces, gesturing toward Rin. "And now, your prize… a kiss from the lovely Rin Ono!"

"It's okay, Rin," Jeff says, putting up his hand reassuringly. "I know that you only agreed to this out of peer pressure. I'm not going to make you do anything you're not comfortable with. I respect your boundaries, and—"

"Oh my God," Rin groans, "will you shut the fuck up?"

She walks over to Jeff—and kisses him square on the lips.

"Wooooo!" a bunch of girls shout—myself included.

And now they're… still kissing. Jeez—this is no peck on the lips. They're really going at it.

"So, uh…" Tsubasa mutters. "Should we… get them a room, or…?"

"Hmm," says Momoka. "This is kinda hot, though…"

"It's hot as heck!" squeaks Yuna. "Dang it all—we should've gone with body weight percentage! That could've been me!"

I'm giggling profusely. "Wooo, Rin!" I cheer.

Somehow, they're still going at it.

"Oh, my," Emi says quietly. "Such an obscene display."

"H-he's using so much tongue!" squeaks Mizuki, her eyes wide, her face scarlet.

"Don't look, Captain!" Akiko yelps, hastily covering Mizuki's eyes. "I—I can't have you liking boys all of a sudden! They have things that I can't compete with!"

Finally, Rin and Jeff break apart. When Rin turns around, her eyes meet mine—and we share a knowing look. I burst out giggling again.

In the end, I've got to hand it to Akiko. This is the most fun I've ever had in any kind of proximity to a bench press. I can already feel the bad memories fading away.


In the girls' locker room, we change into our blue, one-piece, school-provided swimsuits. Well… all of us except Rin, who opts to wear her tiny red bikini.

Then we enter the pool area, and meet up with the boys. The first thing I notice—unfortunately—are the scars on Jeff's abdomen. Three big, long gashes across his body. I shudder, remembering when Monokuma brutally slashed the boy during our entrance ceremony. I also get a glimpse of Takeru's left arm—which has its own scar, thanks to Monokuma.

I don't want to stare, so I look away, toward the pool. The lane dividers are gone, I notice. And there's a bunch of equipment piled up on the floor nearby. Pool noodles, floaties, beach balls—things like that.

"C'mon, guys!" says Akiko. Without her hat, her white hair seems almost radiant. And her snow-white skin contrasts beautifully with the blue swimsuit. "What're you waiting for?"

She runs to the pool, leaps, and dives head-first into the water.

I try to watch Akiko swim—but she's so fast. She's like a blur. My eyes can barely keep up. She practically teleports across the pool—and then she leaps out, jumping ten feet in the air, somersaulting, and then splashing back into the water.

We all gape.

"She's really fast!" Jeff gasps.

"Such a tremendous stats increase," Takeru says, staring wide-eyed.

"That's the Ultimate Sailor for you," Naomi says, smiling. "She's more at home in water than on land."

Once again, Akiko leaps and somersaults.

"Jeez," says Tsubasa. "She's like… an albino dolphin."

"You said she was a sea turtle," I point out. "Remember?"

"Well, whatever she is, it's not human."

Akiko zips toward us—then stops, and clings to the pool wall, staring up at us. "C'mon, guys! The water's fine!"

Rin stretches. "I guess I'll, like… swim some laps," she says, stepping toward the pool.

"I believe I will, as well," Emi says, walking to a different lane.

They jump in. Soon, a few others join them.

"Hey—wait a moment, Jeff!" Akiko shouts. "Where do you think you're going?"

Jeff stops. He'd been climbing the stairs that lead to the hot tub.

"Oh—I'll join you in the pool later," Jeff says, smiling. "I feel like taking a dip in the hot tub first."

"That's totally backwards!" Akiko snaps. "You can't go in the hot tub before the pool! You have to use the pool first, and then the hot tub, like God intended!"

"I—I didn't realize this was a religious thing!" Jeff replies, looking concerned.

Shingo—standing nearby—cocks his eyebrow. "Which god are you referring to, exactly?"

"It doesn't matter which one!" says Akiko. "Using the hot tub before the pool is against every religion!"

"Well," Jeff says sheepishly, "I'd hate to be sacrilegious…"

He runs to the pool, and jumps in, splashing loudly.

Meanwhile, Kenji's standing at the pool's edge, looking hesitant. I walk over to him. "Hey, Kenji," I say. "How well can you swim?"

"I… can swim just fine," Kenji mutters. "It's just… the water might be cold, and—"

I push him into the pool, giggling.

Then I'm laughing loudly at his shocked face as he splashes around below.

Then I turn around—and see Naomi behind me. She's frowning, arms crossed.

"Don't you think that was a bit immature?" she asks.

I freeze. Ugh, what is wrong with me? I try so hard to get Naomi to like me, but—

Naomi smiles evilly.

She pushes me into the pool, giggling.

"Hey!" I object, splashing around while Naomi laughs above me.

Naomi jumps into the pool. As soon as her head pops up, I splash her in retaliation. She splashes me back. Soon, it's an all-out war. We splash, and splash, and laugh, and scream…

For a moment, we're not fan and creator. We're not artist and admirer. We're just two girls having fun in a pool. For once, we're on equal footing—because there's no footing at all in here.

Almost everyone's in the water, now. But I see at least one straggler.

"You too, Captain!" Akiko calls out.

"U-um…" Mizuki mutters, stepping nervously toward the pool's edge. "I-I can't swim, though…"

"You can't?" gasps Akiko. "I… I'll have to teach you later!"

Meanwhile, Rin touches the wall, finishing a lap.

"Rin!" Akiko shouts. "C'mon—let's show the Captain how it's done! Race me!"

"Um… how about not?" Rin replies.

"She's only human," Tsubasa says, treading water nearby.

"Yeah," I agree. "I don't think anyone here is a fair matchup against you, Akiko."

"Seriously?" says Akiko. "So—that means I win by default, right?" She leaps victoriously. "YES! Time to claim that prize!"

"Um," Mizuki mutters, "Y-you never said anything about a prize…"

"I didn't?" yelps Akiko. She clutches her head, and winces. "Crap! I should've specified that from the beginning! Ugh, I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Mizuki can't help but giggle at this.

Elsewhere—across the pool—I see Jeff leaning against a wall. Yuna and Momoka are clutching that wall to his right and left, respectively. Yuna seems to be chastising Jeff.

"It was totally reckless!" Yuna shouts. "Your scars could've opened up! You shouldn't have lifted anywhere near that much weight!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Jeff replies. "It… worked out fine, though. My scars didn't open up. I'll be more careful from now on, though—I promise."

Yuna's glare softens. "Well… let me feel those wounds," she says, blushing slightly. "As a medical expert, I—I should check how they feel. Just in case."

She touches his bulky chest, and caresses it.

"Hmm," Momoka mutters. "I should check, too…" She touches Jeff's chest. "As a perfumer, or whatever…"

They caress his chest.

"It's fine, right?" asks Jeff.

"It's fine for now," Yuna admits. "But… if you ever have any medical problem, make sure to let me know! Whether it's your scars, or… or if you need immediate mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, or… anything else!"

"Got it," Jeff says, giving a thumbs-up. "If I'm ever not breathing, I'll make sure to tell you about it!"

"Hmm," Momoka drawls. "I can help, too…"

"M-maybe we should practice now," Yuna stutters. "Just in case!"

"You want me to practice not breathing?" says Jeff. "That sounds dangerous!"

I chuckle to myself. "The hormones are really flowing today, huh?" I whisper.

Naomi sighs. "I knew it would turn out like this," she replies, half-smiling. "Everyone's a bit restless, after being stuck inside for so long."

Speaking of hormones—I notice that Rin's out of the water, now. She's helping Shingo set up the volleyball net. Now that her full figure's in view, I can't help but admire how amazing she looks. Perfect curves, perfect skin, perfect confidence… she's like a goddess. I bet the boys are having a hard time not gaping slack-jawed at her.

I notice Tsubasa and Takeru in a corner—and, as I suspected, they're gawking at… no, wait, they're not gawking at Rin. They're gawking at Emi.

Emi's across the pool from Rin, holding the other side of the volleyball net, helping her set it up. Now the boys notice something that we girls noticed in the locker room: with her hair down, and her kimono off, Emi is drop-dead gorgeous. It's hard to describe why, exactly. Her body's not quite as sexy as Rin's. But there's something about the way Emi holds herself; something about the way her face looks with all that long black hair framing it. She just exudes elegance, and refinement, and mystique. If Rin's like a goddess, then Emi's like an angel—less powerful, but softer, more graceful, and every bit as beautiful.

Kenji, I notice, is shifting his gaze back and forth between the two girls. I smile mischievously. "Hey, Kenji," I whisper. "Who do you think is hotter—Rin, or Emi?"

"W-what?" Kenji stutters, tensing up. "I… I'm not…"

"If you could only make out with one of them, who would you pick?"

Kenji's blushing profusely. "I don't… I…"

Naomi splashes me. "What is this—a male locker room?" she chastises. "I swear—you're like a dirty old man."

"Hey!" I protest, splashing her back. "Don't interrupt! Kenji's head was about to explode!"

"Quit bullying the poor boy," Naomi says, splashing me.

"Never!" I retort, splashing back.

We keep splashing, and the Second Splash War begins. For once, I'm not worried at all about Naomi judging me. I feel no desire to make her like me. This is just… happening. Naomi's hair is down, and her stuffy suit is off, and she could be anyone. We're both trapped in this horrible killing game. We're both doing our best to survive. We're both treading water. And we're both splashing. And we're both laughing.

It's one of the most perfect moments of my life.


Ding dong, bing bong.

"Mm, ahem, this is a school announcement. It is now 10 p.m. As such, it is officially nighttime. Soon the doors to the dining hall will be locked, and entry at that point is strictly prohibited. Okay then… sweet dreams, everyone! Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite…"


No one cares about the announcement. We're having too much fun.

The more athletic people are playing pool volleyball. The rest of us are just… doing whatever. Kenji, Naomi and I lounge around, chatting and gossiping. We battle each other with pool noodles. We try to balance on floaties. We get into more splash fights.

Jun's the first to enter the hot tub. Momoka's second. Jeff and Yuna aren't far behind.

Kenji, Naomi, and I decide to join them.

After climbing out of the pool, I'm shivering cold. Now I get what Akiko was saying—the hot tub should definitely come after the pool, not before.

We climb the stairs, where the steamy, bubbling, circular hot tub awaits. I step inside, and sit down, and…

"Ooooohhhhmygodyessssss," I moan, closing my eyes, feeling the hot water burn all my stress away. "Ahhhhhhyeaaaahhhhhh thaaaatt's goooooood."

"…Are you okay, Koi?" asks Kenji.

"Mmmmmhmmmm," I answer. Maybe I should feel embarrassed about the stupid crap coming out of my mouth—but how can I be embarrassed? I just immersed myself in pure, distilled peace juice. My body is melting away, becoming one with all.

"Well, I wouldn't use those exact words," Naomi quips, "but I share the sentiment."

"It's nice, right?" says Jeff.

"And it's healthy!" says Yuna. "Stress is terrible for your body! The more relaxed you are, the longer you'll live!"

"Hmmm," Momoka drawls. "You should remember that more often, maybe…"

Soon, Tsubasa and Takeru come to join us.

"Oh, hell yeah!" Tsubasa says upon sitting down. "That's the good stuff!"

"A shinobi must maintain constant vigilance," Takeru says, leaning back. "And yet… even the mightiest warriors need rest."

Next, Emi joins us, sitting down quietly beside Naomi. A short while later, Rin's here as well—she sits between Tsubasa and Kenji, sighing blissfully. "Fuck, that's good," she breaths. "God, I fucking love spas."

"Spas?" says Tsubasa. "Isn't this a hot tub?"

"Some would call it a Jacuzzi," says Jun.

"…Why are there so many words for 'hot tub'?" I wonder aloud. "Kenji—you're the linguist. Tell us!"

"Um…"

"Make room, everyone!" Akiko announces. "The Captain is coming in!"

We all scoot closer together. It's really getting crowded, now. Soon enough, I'm bumping shoulders with Kenji and Naomi.

"Sorry, Kenji," I say, grinning mischievously, rubbing my arm against his. "Looks like you'll be touching me and Rin for a while. I hope you don't mind!"

"It… it's fine…" Kenji mutters, trying not to look at me, blushing profusely. He's probably desperate to run away right now—but he can't! He's trapped! I cover my mouth, and chuckle quietly to myself.

Hm… I wonder why I enjoy messing with Kenji so much? …Oh, well. I'm way too relaxed to think about that right now. I can't think about anything, with this heavenly liquid soothing my skin, bringing me to the edge of Nirvana. Effort exists in another world.

"Room for one more?" Shingo asks, standing at the edge of the hot tub. We're all completely crammed together, though—there's no space for him.

"I—I'm sorry, Captain!" says Akiko. "To make room for Shingo, you're… you're going to have to sit on my lap! There's just no other way!"

"Um…" Mizuki mutters, blushing. "I-if there's no other w-way, then… I suppose I should…"

Slowly, she lifts herself onto Akiko's lap, allowing Shingo to take her place.

"I-is this okay…?" Mizuki asks, leaning back against Akiko's body.

"It's absolutely okay!" Akiko replies, wrapping her arms around Mizuki, her eyes lighting up like it's Christmas morning. She's practically drooling. "Your head fits perfectly between my boobies, so… just keep it there, and don't move!"

"Um…" says Tsubasa. "No offense, Akiko, but… sometimes, you sound like a sexual harassment lawsuit just waiting to happen."

"Hmmm," Momoka drawls. "Mizuki seems okay with it, though…"

"That's right!" says Yuna. "Harassment is totally fine, as long as it's consensual!"

I chortle. "I… don't think that's the best way to word it, Yuna," I say, laughing.

We're all just saying stupid crap now, and doing stupid crap, and laughing at stupid crap. It's late, and we're tired, and our filters are off. So we relax in the hot water, and spout nonsense, and laugh, and laugh. Our brains are off, and our hearts our open, and our mouths keep going.

We talk about the past—our old schools, and our old friends. We talk about the future—escaping from this place, and what we'll do once we're out. We even talk about Hiroto and Ryu—amusing anecdotes, and fun little moments we shared with them. There's no sadness or regret involved. We're not thinking hard enough to remember those feelings. We just laugh, and move on, swerving aimlessly from one subject to the next.

Mostly, we just tell stupid jokes, and laugh at each other, and laugh at ourselves.

I don't know how long it goes on for. Maybe twenty minutes. Maybe two hours. I don't check the clock; I'd rather not know.

At one point, there's a short silence. We all just relax for a moment.

"I gotta hand it to you, Akiko," says Tsubasa. "This party was a great idea, after all."

"It wasn't my idea," Akiko clarifies, pinching Mizuki's cheek. "Like all great ideas, this one came directly from the Captain!"

"It was n-nothing," Mizuki mutters, leaning back, her eyes half-closed. "I just w-wanted everyone to… h-have fun…"

"I'm glad you came up with this, Mizuki," I say, feeling my own eyelids droop. "I think this is exactly what we needed right now."

"God, yes," mutters Rin.

"I've found this evening quite enjoyable," says Emi.

"Yeah," says Jeff. He sighs deeply. "It's like my bad feelings are just… washing away."

"MMmmhhmmmm," Akiko agrees. Her eyes are drooping, too. I think all of ours are, at this point. "This is the life."

"Yeah," I agree dreamily. "This is the life."

"It suuuuure is," says Yuna.

"You can say that again," says Monokuma. "Best party ever. Am I right?"

"Yeah," says Tsubasa, "can't argue with tha…" And then: "GAAAAAAAHHH!"

"Monokuma!?" Jeff gasps.

"What the hell?" Shingo growls, brow furrowed. "When did you get here?

Monokuma is in the hot tub. He's lodged between Rin and Tsubasa, laying his arms on them, and he's just… leaning back and relaxing like he's one of us. Rin and Tsubasa look disgusted—but we're too cramped together, and their attempts to back away are in vain.

We're all wide awake, now, gaping at the robotic bear.

"Um, gross," Rin hisses.

"How the fuck did you do that?" Tsubasa yelps. "I didn't even notice you!"

"Get the fuck away from us, you creep."

"Don't worry, you guys," Monokuma says. "I'm not one of those lame headmasters who hates fun and shuts down parties for no reason. Those only exist in movies! I'm the cool kind of headmaster. The kind that joins parties! Just think of me as one of the boys!"

"But… you're a bear," says Jeff.

"Details, details. Boy or bear, headmaster or student—let's forget about all of our divisions and prejudices, and party the night away!"

"Let's not," counters Rin.

"What exactly are you doing here?" Naomi asks, glaring. "Surely, you didn't come just to crash our party."

"Naomi's right," says Shingo. "When you come to us, it's usually to tell us something."

"Aw, man," Monokuma says, sounding dejected. "You guys saw right through me." Then he angrily shouts: "Fine! Be that way! As a matter of fact, I do have an announcement!" Suddenly, he's calm again. "Tomorrow at 10 a.m., there's gonna be a school assembly in the gymnasium. Attendance is mandatory! …There. Happy now?"

"Assembly?" I repeat, feeling a cold dread set in that overpowers the heat around me.

"Yep!" says Monokuma. "I've got something special planned—something that'll really motivate you to graduate!"

"Another motive, huh?" Jun growls.

"Enough business!" says Monokuma. "Let's get back to partying! So, what's next on the agenda?" Suddenly, he's sweating. "Oh, no—I think I can tell. All of these out-of-control hormones. These half-naked teen bodies cramped together so tightly. And this hot, soothing water that breaks through all inhibitions! Don't tell me… we're gonna… we're really gonna…"

"Get the fuck out of here!" screams Rin. She picks up Monokuma and tosses him out of the hot tub, onto the ledge above us. He lands on his feet, and stares at us angrily.

"Why, you disrespectful little…" he growls. "…Oh, fine! Be that way! Have your fun without me!" He shows his claws. "But remember to use protection. A bunch of teen pregnancies are the last thing this school needs!"

We listen to his footsteps as he scuttles away.

Then there's silence. He's gone.

Our good mood is gone, too. We look around at each other, wearing grim expressions.

"Another motive…" I mutter, disgusted by the words exiting my mouth.

"It's—it's really happening again?" Yuna asks. "We really have to… do this again?"

No one answers.

"Last time," Naomi says, "the motive was twenty million dollars. This time, however…"

"This time," Shingo finishes, "Monokuma might up the ante."

"Yeah," says Jeff. "This time…" He leans forward a bit, and looks around at us. "This time," Jeff says darkly, "the motive might be twenty million dollars… and thirty-seven cents."

We stare at him.

Then we burst into laughter.

"No, no," Akiko protests. "It's twenty million hot tubs!"

"God, don't tempt me," Rin says, leaning back, relaxing once more.

"…Isn't one hot tub enough?" asks Kenji. "You can only fit in one…"

"Sure," Akiko says, winking. "The rest are for your twenty million closest friends!"

"Twenty million pool parties!" I suggest.

"Alternatively," Takeru says, smiling, "perhaps he will offer to boost our strength by twenty million fold!"

"Twenty million dietary supplements!" offers Yuna.

"Jeez, Yuna," says Tsubasa. "Even your dreams are boring."

We laugh.

We keep joking, and keep laughing.

Tomorrow, we face reality. Tomorrow, we'll be made to remember the grim setting we've been forced into. The dark, evil, twisted killing game that's taken over our lives.

But tonight, we lean back, and relax, and say whatever we feel like. Tonight, we stay up late, and soak in hot water, and joke about anything and everything that pops into our sleep-deprived brains. Tonight, nothing outside this hot tub matters.

Tonight, we laugh.

We can cry some other time.


Author's Note: this was a fun segment to write.

FTEs will begin in two updates. Use this poll to vote on which characters will be featured:

strawpoll dot com slash xVg7dG24RZr

While the games generally allow five FTEs per character, I'm setting the limit at four. Thus, Naomi has two FTEs remaining; Akiko and Mizuki each have three; and everyone else has four.


STUDENT E-HANDBOOK: REPORT CARDS

~·~·~

Female students:

~·~

Koi Amaki

• Ultimate Fangirl

• 5'4"

• Eyes: hazel

• Hair: auburn; has an ahoge

• Outfit: navy-blue sailor fuku with a red necktie; pixelated Kyoko and Chiaki earrings; a pixelated Kaede pin in her headband

• Freckles

The protagonist. An otaku who loves the Danganronpa franchise—among other things.

She bench-pressed 30 pounds.

~·~

Rin Ono

• Ultimate Golfer

• 5'10"

• Eyes: gray

• Hair: blonde (bleached)

• Outfit: a white button-up shirt that isn't buttoned all the way up, and a short skirt

• Tanned skin, and glossy makeup

A gyaru who was raised in deep poverty. Her golfing skills have brought her fame and fortune.

She bench-pressed 500 pounds.

~·~

Naomi Shimizu

• Ultimate Mangaka

• 5'6"

• Eyes: reddish-brown

• Hair: red; tied up in a professional-looking bun

• Outfit: a businesslike suit

• An intense gaze

She's written award-winning manga since she was a child. Her works span nearly every genre.

She bench-pressed 120 pounds.

~·~

Emi Togami

• Ultimate Origamist

• 5'7"

• Eyes: blue

• Hair: black; clipped up in a traditional Japanese style

• Outfit: an elegant red kimono

• A pink origami flower in her hair

She's often smiling—but what's behind that smile?

She refused to participate in the weightlifting contest.

~·~

Akiko Narumi

• Ultimate Sailor

• 5'4"

• Eyes: pink

• Hair: white; pixie cut

• Outfit: a sailor fuku with a white top, blue necktie, and short blue skirt; a white sailor hat

• Very white skin

Despite her albinism, she's sailed around the world several times.

She bench-pressed 350 pounds.

~·~

Mizuki Tenshi

• Ultimate Moral Compass

• 4'11"

• Eyes: green

• Hair: light-brown; pigtails that begin below her shoulders and reach down to her legs

• Outfit: a plain, black dress, with a white collar, and a skirt that goes down to her ankles

• A pink armband

She's shy and quiet. But she cares a lot about enforcing the rules.

She bench-pressed 10 pounds.

~·~

Yuna Koyama

• Ultimate Dietician

• 4'8"

• Eyes: violet

• Hair: violet; tied up in a ponytail

• Outfit: a white lab coat that goes down to her knees

• Tiny

She can be pretty annoying—especially if she finds you eating junk food.

She bench-pressed 200 pounds.

~·~

Momoka Ito

• Ultimate Perfumer

• 5'2"

• Eyes: dark-brown

• Hair: blue; frayed, tangled, and disastrously unkempt

• Outfit: a yellow sweatshirt that's too large, and a navy-blue skirt with little tears in it

• Looks like a mess, but smells amazing

She seems to barely have a grip on reality. As if she's drifting through life on good smells alone.

She bench-pressed 0 pounds.

~·~

Male students:

~·~

Kenji Sasaki

• Ultimate Linguist

• 5'8"

• Eyes: brown

• Hair: black; slightly unkempt

• Outfit: a normal, dark gakuran uniform

• An all-around regular-looking guy

He speaks over 300 languages—but he's not much for conversation.

He bench-pressed 100 pounds.

~·~

Jeffrey Silverstein

• Ultimate Kabuki Actor

• 5'9"

• Eyes: blue

• Hair: brown; short

• Outfit: white t-shirt, and blue gym shorts

• Strong-looking, though not too bulky

A good-natured, optimistic American who's loved kabuki theater since he was a child.

He bench-pressed 510 pounds.

~·~

Tsubasa Haneda

• Ultimate Speedrunner

• 5'4"

• Eyes: green

• Hair: yellowish-green; spiky; sticks out in all directions

• Outfit: baggy jeans, and a loose, black t-shirt with a game controller design on it

• Several earrings. A sort of punk vibe.

A gamer who's easy to get along with. He's very straightforward, and tends to speak his mind.

He bench-pressed 90 pounds.

~·~

Jun Mujun

• Ultimate Hacker

• 6'2"

• Eyes: brown

• Hair: black with blue highlights; hanging around his head in big, messy locks

• Outfit: jeans, and a leather jacket

• Tall and lanky. Bags under his eyes.

An enigmatic genius. It's hard to faze him.

He bench-pressed 400 pounds.

~·~

Takeru Tao

• Ultimate Child Caregiver

• (not a ninja)

• 5'7"

• Eyes: violet

• Hair: violet; sticking straight up

• Outfit: a full black bodysuit, and a green camo vest

• Headband has a metal plate over the forehead; the Hope's Peak crest is carved into it

He seems to think he's a ninja. Kids love it. His parents don't.

He bench-pressed 270 pounds.

~·~

Shingo Chiba

• Ultimate Accountant

• 5'11"

• Eyes: gray

• Hair: black; well-groomed

• Outfit: a black suit with a bowtie

• Thin-rimmed glasses

An orphaned prodigy. He's literally accounted for everything.

He bench-pressed 230 pounds.