Her Shattered Heart Chapter 2- Do You Love Me?
'What am I going to do?'
'What do I say?'
'What will he say?'
As the couple walked along, Tidus had studied Yuna's expression very carefully. Whatever was bothering her must have been bad…she looked worried…frightened even and really deep in thought. Whatever it was that was worrying her, was now starting to trouble him as well. He tore himself away from her for moment when he realized they had arrived at their destination.
"Yuna, we're here!" His shrill announcement caused her to snap here head up abruptly, shaking the worries away to the back of her mind…for now.
"Wow, it still looks the same…nothing seems to have changed much," he stated as he took in his surroundings. Yuna laughed slightly as she watched him re-familiarize himself with everything. He looked somewhat disappointed.
"Yeah…most of Spira has pretty much stayed the same, if anything has changed though it's the people."
"So I see," he said playfully, turning to face her to gauge her new outfit. He hadn't really had the chance to see it before with Yuna having her episode down on the beach and receiving all kinds of greetings from his fellow guardians. But now that he was standing there right in front of her, he was shocked and actually,completely mystified at how little she was wearing. While he had journeyed with her on her pilgrimage, it was almost as if she was caught showing an inch of skin below her shoulders; Yuna would be arrested and trialed for indecent exposure. This new outfit of hers was indeed reveling, showing off her shapely and beautiful figure for the whole world to see...
'Does that mean it doesn't matter anymore what she wears?'
"I like it," he stated simply while smiling as he made his way over to her. Yuna blushed at his remark and she found her hands rush up to try and hide her incredibly flushed face...but Tidus quickly grabbed her arms, stopping them millimeters from their goal. She instantly diverted her gaze to the ground…only to have Tidus once again force her to make eye contact by placing a finger under her chin and gingerly lifting it up.
"Something really is bothering you, isn't it?" He whispered, as he placed his forehead up against hers, smiling gently."Spill it..."Yuna sighed nervously under his piercing gaze and abruptly pulled away from his warm embrace, tears once again biting at the corner's of her eyes as she turned her back to him. Tidus frowned as he watched her walk away, bewildered by her behavior.
'What the hell is wrong with her…?'
'Well…guess it's up to me to find out…'
"Come here…" Tidus said, lurching out andgrabbing her quickly before she had the chance to get away, as he begun forcefully pulling her into the nearest hut, closing the door behind them. Yuna stumbled away up against the closest wall, eyeing her guardian's back uneasily as he fiddled with the heavy brass lock to insure that they weren't disturbed. He turned to face her then; she looked quite scared and refused to meet his line of vision…no matter how hard he tried, she always managed to avoid it. It was almost as if she had closed up completely for that moment, blocking everything and everyone out. He slowly beganadvancing towards her, hoping to receive some clue as to what was troubling her. Yuna only pushed herself up further against the wall and violently shook her head in responce.
"Please…don't come any closer," she pleaded her voice barely audible. Tidus stopped suddenly, obeying her orders, but his concern did not ease.
"Yuna…what's wrong? You're really starting to scare me; you've been acting very strange." She didn't answer and he was slightly annoyed from the lack of a response. He just didn't understand what on earth she was making such a big deal about. Had he done something to upset or offend her? After all, she was asking him to stay away. It soon became apparent to him that the possibility of him being the cause of her pain was indeed a real one, meaning that he would have to try and fix it…quickly.
'Just say it Yuna, it's not that hard!'
'But…what if he says no?'
'You'll never know if you don't ask him!'
'If he says no…I-I don't think I'll be able to handle it.'
'Just ask him already! Ask him…ask him…ask him…ask him…ask him.'
'ASK HIM!'
"Yuna…did I…do something wrong? Because if I did I'm really sorr-"
"Doyouloveme?" Yuna blurted out quickly. Tidus' eyes narrowed in confusion, unable to understand the contents of her hurried statement.
"What?"
"Do you love me?" Yuna said slower and more deliberate this time, clenching her eyes shut tightly in anticipation of his answer.
"Yuna…what-"
"Do you?" Yuna interrupted harshly.
"Yuna…where did this come from?" He demanded, as he strode across the room towards her, regardless of her wishes for him to keep his distance. Yuna had hidden her face in the fall of her hair and so he was unable to see her reaction. He was angry that she was questioning how he felt about her…Tidus had thought that he had made is intentions towards Yuna perfectly clear on her pilgrimage...Especially in Macalania.
Why was she asking him about...this?
He pinned her to the wall by the shoulders, trying to establish some sort of visual link with her…to no avail.
'Is this what's been troubling her? Why?'
"Yuna, look at me," he whispered softly. When she didn't move, he tried being firmer.
"Look at me."
Yuna's head straightened grudgingly and as her face came into view, Tidus' anger seemed to evaporate at just mere sight of the sadness and despair that was so blatantly obvious in her eyes. As soon as Yuna saw him, she instantly began to cry…unable to contain her worries anymore, she let everything out in an incredible display of raw emotion.
"You promised to stay…and you didn't…you promised always…and you lied!" she managed to say while sobbing hysterically, trying to break free from her captive who was still holding her tightly.
"YOU LIED! You promised…that you would come…running if I whistled and you didn't. I whistled…everyday for two years and you still stayed…away when I needed you!" Her weeping only intensified as she remembered how long he had remained absent from her side, despite the multiple plea's she had sent to whoever the heavenly being it was that controlled fate. To be exact, Tidus had been gone 730 days. That was 17,520 hours without his jokes or laughs…without his touch…without his kiss. It was 63,072,000 seconds in which with every passing one, her heart seemingly ached for her beloved guardian even more…
"Why…why didn't you tell me…you were going to fade? Is it because you didn't…love me? Does that mean that…what happened at Macalania…was a mistake?" Yuna felt like she wanted to collapse and die at the thought, but somehow she miraculously managed to retain her footing…only really because Tidus was holding her there.
Soon she found the courage to face him, a combination of rage and absolute terror swelling in the pit of her stomach.
"When…when I didn't get any answer from…from you after I told you how I felt about you…just as you were leaving...I-I…" Yuna didn't finish and once again began sobbing uncontrollably, fresh tears flowing down her flushed cheeks. He hadn't said anything yet and so naturally,she began to assume the worst. Her every fear, doubt and herutter misery radiated from her eyes into his, causing Tidus to flinch away, unable to withstand the waterfall of emotion cascading over him…drowning him. The instant he jumped back, she let out an incredibly loud and painful cry and slumped to the floor, wrapping her arms aroundherself tightly in aball as she rocked her self furiously, shaking spastically. Now that he didn't love her…there was really no point in living anymore…
Tidushad never been good with words and that was no secret; in fact he was horrible with them. But his lack of speech was what was causing the problem right now. He just couldn't bare toeven see Yuna in such profound anguish. He felt like someone had come and stabbed him thousands of times in the heart…but he deserved it. He had promised her 'always'…then had broken her trust by disappearing. He had promised her he'd come running when she whistled…then broke her faith by not responding to her cry for help. And, he had broken her heart when he didn't respond to her pledge of love for him.
Actually, Yuna had it all wrong…he wanted nothing more then to say those few simple words to her, but he just…couldn't. The obstacle in his way was just really common sense. Why on earth would you declare love to someone who you knew could never really have it? Why put someone you love through the pain of teasing them with the one thing in this world that they could never have? He wasn't going to be there for her, he would be gone…forever…she would have to move on eventually, he was just trying to make it easier for her. But from what he was dealing with now…he had actually just made everything much worse. He should have told her he was going to disappear…maybe they would have found a way to save his life like he had saved hers. Maybe, if that had happened, they would be happy now…with a family…with a life…with each other…
He had caused this mess...
If he didn't fix this quickly, he would lose her…forever lost in her own grief.
'God…what have I done?'
Author's Notes: It's my birthday tomorrow! YAY!Sorry I didn't get this chapter up quickly guys. This week was my last week of exams and it has been hell…but it's over now! YAY! Holidays for two months! So hopefully I'll be updating every few days or so. Sorry for the depressing mood in this chapter to, I've been listening to the Titanic soundtrack a lot lately and that's probably the cause. LOL Also another apology for this chapter being so short, I was writing this when I should have been studying for exams so that's why! Also I wanted to leave it on a bit of a cliffy for you all :P
Anyway, please review and I shall endeavor to get the next chapter up ASAP! ENJOY & REVIEW! THANK-YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I LOVE YOU ALL!
