Author: Sparkle Itamashii
Title: Inheritance
Warnings: Respect the rating. Please see my profile for details.
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing AC is NOT MINE.
Chapter Three
The ride home was hell. There were so many things I wanted to say but not one of them was I able to get past my lips. It was like my tongue had stuck to the roof of my mouth. My teeth felt glued together because my jaw was so tightly clenched against the roiling emotion that was just waiting to explode. I knew better than to go off on him in the car, where there was no escape. A cornered dog fights far more viciously than one that is left at least some small escape.
So we sat in stony silence the entire way.
I might as well have been driving a statue home for all that he even looked at me.
I didn't last long after we pulled into the driveway. As calmly as I could I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned off the engine. He moved sullenly, as if expecting me to start something right there where everyone and their dog could see us. Just for that I contained myself until we had stomped up the front walk, unlocked the house, and stepped inside. I could faintly hear Artemis barking from the backyard.
"When exactly were you planning on telling me about this?" I asked, slamming the door behind me and giving him a scathing glare.
He simply removed his shoes at the door and ignored me, moving into the kitchen. Not even bothering to switch to socks only like I normally would, I stormed after him. He couldn't ignore me forever but it looked like he was certainly going to make an attempt. He had pulled two glasses from the cupboard and was silently filling them with ice water. As if nothing was wrong.
He could be such a bastard sometimes…
"Well?" I demanded, growing impatient very quickly.
He gave me a level look, but I saw the defensive aggression boiling just below the surface. "If I'd known, I would have told you."
"How did you miss the fact that you fucked Relena?" I exploded, "Weren't you there, or what?"
He slammed the glass down on the table so hard it's a miracle it didn't shatter and fixed me with a deadly glare. "That was four years ago, Duo." He said icily. "Back when I didn't think I would see her again. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. It was goodbye, if it was anything."
"Oh, that's all well and good then!" I huffed sarcastically, motioning dramatically with my hands. "You didn't say goodbye like that to anyone else, did you? Cause you certainly didn't say goodbye like that to me!"
"Because I didn't say goodbye to you at all!" He snarled acidly. "I could part with her. You- never. Why the hell do you think I'm still here?!"
If anything that only made me angrier because there was no way to respond without making a complete ass of myself. "You weren't exactly searching for me when I found you, Heero." I hissed.
"Did you find me?" He asked almost rhetorically.
"Heero, that's-"
"Did you find me?" He repeated insistently.
"Yes!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "Yes, I found you."
"Then I didn't have to look for you because I'd never lost you." He said quietly, to which I could only glare sullenly directly at him. "It was four years ago, Duo. It's in the past. I loved Relena and I loved you." His eyes softened and he slid one of the glasses over to me. "I still love you."
I grumpily accepted the water and took a gulp, trying to calm down now that the initial explosion had passed. "If she…" I said, more meekly than I would have liked, "if she'd shown up before me… Would you have stayed with her instead?"
A few seconds passed as he studied me and took a drink as well. I could see that he was shaking and I regretted upsetting the both of us so much. "No." He said finally, and just by his tone I believed him immediately. "She was never you, Duo. She never had the same sort of conviction, the same fire. I don't think she could have ever been everything that you are."
Sighing, I pulled a chair out from the cherry-wood table and flopped down in it. Heero was never one to lie about stuff like this so there was no reason for me not to believe his words. That knowledge didn't keep it from hurting, but it certainly lessened the blow considerably. I had no control over what Heero did before I'd practically claimed him- his past was not something that should affect the future. I took another drink of water and forced calm upon myself before I spoke again.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
He shook his head and took a seat as well, elbows on the table and hands drooping so his fingertips touched the rim of the glass. He didn't look at me. "Would it have made anything better, letting you know?" He asked quietly.
"Well, no." I admitted hesitantly.
"But it could have made things a lot worse."
I chewed on that for a few seconds before surrendering. "I guess that's true." I leaned back, trying to adjust the paradigms of my world to fit this whole new one. "Did you… know about her? The kid?"
Very quickly I wished I could have retracted those words. "I didn't know she'd had a child." I winced. He must have been feeling awful enough, not knowing something that important. "She didn't tell me."
There was something there, in his voice, something deeper than he was actually saying. Maybe he regretted not knowing? That wasn't it, though. It didn't sound like regret. It sounded like… Well it certainly wasn't something I had heard in Heero's voice before, which is probably why it took me a moment to place it, but…
It sounded like worry. Genuine fear.
Instantly I felt guilty. This wasn't the sort of situation anyone should have suddenly shoved upon them, especially not someone as ill equipped as Heero. I could probably stand to be a little nicer about it- after all I shouldn't be faulting him over the child if Relena had never told him.
"Heero, I'm sorry. It's just… a little shocking. I mean all of a sudden you have a kid." I made a sort of exasperated, disbelieving noise, as if saying it had suddenly made it all too real. "God… What are we going to do about Mara?"
He gave me a funny look, as though I'd just suggested something really dumb. Why was everyone giving me that look today? "We can't keep it here." He said plainly.
"SHE, Heero. She's a little girl, not a machine. We're talking about a human life- your child. You can't just slap her up for adoption like a cat or dog."
"Why not?"
I gave him an incredulous look, sitting up in my chair as I did so. "What do you mean 'why not'? Are you crazy?"
"No, are you?" He countered, unaware of how he repeated Mara's words in the same tone she'd used earlier. He was still looking at me in that 'you've gone off the deep end' way. "Neither one of us knows even the first thing about taking care of a child. We'd probably kill it faster than you can blink!
"She; and what on earth do you think new parents do? They've gotta learn from somewhere. Don't tell me that with all your adaptability you can't train yourself to be a father instead of a soldier. Take it like just another mission if you have to but by GOD you are not going to let her go anywhere but right here with us."
"If you want this kid then you can have it, but I don't want it here." I could tell he was getting upset with me and that if I pushed it too much farther it would turn into something nasty- I hated leaving things like that.
"Well it's a little late." I snapped testily. "Isn't it?"
I jumped when he stood, viciously snatching up his glass and depositing it so roughly in the sink that it cracked. He gave me a sharp look when he turned but he made no direct reply to what I had said. Instead he stalked past me, halting abruptly when he reached the doorframe. I sat very still, listening to him control his breathing and waiting for him to either explode or leave.
"It was four years ago." He hissed acidly. "I do not need this right now."
"Well when you're ready to deal with reality you just let me know." I responded without turning to him. "I'm calling them tonight and telling them we'll take her."
He made an angry noise and I could practically feel him biting back another nasty comment. Without further adieu he left, socks muffling the way he stomped his feet all the way down the hall and into our bedroom. Only when I knew he was out of range did I relax. He was always like that- so volatile. We rarely ever got into fights but when we did there was always that bit of fear that coiled in my gut.
Heero wasn't naturally violent- he was made to be that way, trained to fight and kill when he needed to. Unfortunately I had awakened the emotion in him as well and the two clashed horribly. Sometimes when he got really emotional, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to handle himself. So he let his training take over… only there-in laid the problem. Whereas he used to be more of a mechanical decision maker who made objective decisions, he now made them based on his emotional state. He could get violent without knowing or understanding why.
Don't get me wrong. He wasn't abusive- I wouldn't stay around for shit like that. I'm also not saying that he hasn't ever hit me or that I haven't hit him. We've gotten into it more than once over disagreements and I've ended up with a few bruises in my time. I couldn't blame him and I couldn't blame me- there was nothing to blame but our pasts. We both had experiences that wouldn't let us take life as peacefully as we would have liked, but we were both trying.
It just… scared me sometimes when he got angry like that.
Just because we fought didn't mean I had to like it. At all.
God, we were such fuck-ups sometimes. Did I really think we had any kind of environment for a child to be growing up around? I mean I could handle it if Heero got angry and turned on me but what about a little kid? I'd never seen him anything other than completely docile around children but… I hadn't seen him around many children. I had no idea how he would take something like that. It could go either way.
There was really only one way to find out.
Heaving a sigh, I rose and padded across the kitchen. My shoes clacked noisily on the tile as I stomped a little harder than I should have, reminding me that I still needed to remove them. It was curious how I resorted to doing the little, catty things I knew annoyed him. Half the time I bet I asked for whatever I received just as plainly as if I'd said it aloud.
The phone was missing from the cradle but it wasn't hard to find. I always wondered why it was that cordless phones were always just a couple feet away from being hung up. Would it seriously kill the person who was using it to walk an extra two steps to put it back on the base? At least it still had a charge so it wasn't like it was going to cut out in the middle of a conversation.
I dialed Quatre's number first. He sounded very busy even though he insisted that he wasn't and that he had the time to talk to me. I made it as short as possible, just enough time to get the phone number I wanted. Quatre didn't sound like he was going to let me off the phone, as stubborn as he was about maintaining friendships despite work, so I made it my own fault, telling him I really had to make this call before it got too late. Very reluctantly he let me go on the promise that I give him a call later that night to tell him how it went.
I don't know how long I sat on the edge of the couch, receiver clutched in a death grip between my knees and my head hung in thought. There was just so much riding on what I was about to do and without Heero's permission it was likely to blow up in my face. But I just couldn't let her go anywhere else- I couldn't let him give up his child to strangers. I knew no matter how much he hated it- or me- in the beginning, he would be grateful in the end.
Screwing up my courage, I dialed the phone and pressed it hard to my ear before I could really think about how I was actually doing it. Before the phone had even completed half a ring a lady on the other end picked up the phone and greeted me in a polite tone. I didn't have time to back out, even if I had wanted to.
"Good afternoon, New Life Adoption Agency. This is Linda speaking, how may I help you today?"
My brain came to a screeching half as soon as she said the word "adoption." What was I doing on the phone?! What does one say when they want to adopt a child- "You have a child and I want to adopt it. Help?" Should I even bother trying to sound professional or just go with telling the situation like it was and sound like the lost guy I really was?
"Do you have the child's name, sir?"
Name? I pulled the receiver away from my ear to give it a look. I felt like it had just bitten me. It was like she was psychic! I hadn't even had to- reality caught up with me and I realized I had actually said aloud what I had been thinking to say in my head. I felt like a real dumb-ass but there wasn't much I could do short of mysteriously hanging up and… well, I had already made it this far. I probably wouldn't have the balls to call back if I hung up now.
"Uh… Mara. Mara…" I repeated myself on the initial response to say her full name but realized that not everyone would realistically even know her last name. If they were really trying to keep it under wraps about where she came from there was a good chance they'd have changed her last name, if it was ever Peacecraft to begin with.
I could practically feel her bristling when she next spoke. "How do you know of Mara, sir?"
Just barely stopping myself from saying 'I know her father,' I stumbled over my words to save face. "I kno-ew- I knew her mother. We were very good friends."
"I see." Though it really didn't sound like she believed me, "You will have to come down to our office for an interview before we can release the child to you. Are you aware that it will be some time before she can be taken into anyone's custody?"
"At least four days." I parroted from what I had heard the lady at the funeral tell me. Secretly I was amazed I had remembered even that much. "I know. When can we meet?"
I listened to her shuffle some paper on the other side and then there was a moment of silence. "Can you be here tomorrow at seven?"
"A.M.?"
"Yes."
Tomorrow at seven I knew I would have work to attend but no one really cared when or even if I showed up for it. I could easily skip to go to an interview. The problem would be getting Heero to go along with me… He hated missing work and it was always a hassle to get him to even leave early much less skip it entirely. I would have to handle it, though, because I knew trying to adopt Mara was going to be a difficult enough process even when we were going with the flow.
"Yeah, seven is fine. Can you please give me directions?" Normally I would have avoided the trouble of sounding like I had no plan by just calling Quatre for the information. However, with everything going on already I figured he was busy enough. I didn't need to add to that stress.
She gave me the information without seeming to think twice about it. Whatever else she was thinking she remained distantly polite, like it would be a danger to be friendly to someone inquiring about Mara. In retrospect, I'm glad she was that cautious. Any number of people could have had ill begotten information and had intent to harm her. We still didn't know why Relena had been assassinated so every precaution was justifiably being taken.
It still rankled being treated like a number instead of a name, though.
I carefully placed the receiver on the base, waiting until the little red light flickered and turned green before I let my head fall back onto the couch. Great. I'd set up an appointment to go meet these people. If I could convince Heero to act like a properly functioning individual we might even be able to take her home at the end of the four day period instead of having to wait even longer. Of course I would have to start child-proofing the house and pound it into Heero's skull that we were not going to be backing out of this. Hopefully through trying to convince him I could keep myself from doubting.
I mean, come on. How hard can it be to raise a kid?
/End Chapter Three, Inheritance/
Notes:
Several reviews I received asked if Heero and Duo are 'together' or if they are simply roomies. I admit to being boggled that anyone would have to even ask until a good friend of mine cleared up why you might not quite see it. He said that readers are likely used to "seeing the boys all over each other" as opposed to how they might more realistically be together.
I look at their pasts and who they've evolved to in the series and… There's going to be a lot more conflict than most people realize. They are far, far from being properly functioning individuals and while I'm sure they've developed a deep affinity for one another there's hell to pay to keep it together. They're trying to go from a world where conflict was solved by blowing things up to a world where conflict needs to be worked through with emotion and words. Duo may be BETTER adapted than Heero but he's still far from being normal by any stretch of the imagination.
Contrary to popular belief… This story isn't really going to involve the kid very much. It's hard to explain without giving away the plot (trust me, there IS a plot) so I'm just going to have to ask that you trust me like you did with Through the Storm (if you read that). Like 'Storm' this is probably going to start off a little slower and as we go… hopefully you'll begin to catch the snippets of plot and when it hits… hold on tight cause it's going to be a wild little ride for our dear boys. I hope you enjoy!
