Her Shattered Heart: Chapter 7

Too Early to Say Goodbye

A/N: I'm just as surprised as you are…I've had three consecutive cups of coffee at 2 o'clock in the morning, and this is the result. It could be crap, I don't know, but, meh. Below is the quote that got my little hyper fingers typing. I suppose you could call it inspiration, but I swear it's the caffeine. I have a good month of holidays starting in 2 weeks, so I should be able to get stuck in and write this story…I hope. Until then, I hope that this is enough to tie everyone over. Enjoy.


Desire even in its wildest tantrums,

Can neither persuade me it is love,

Nor stop me wishing that it were.'

W.H Auden (1907-1973)


Everyone was happily chattering away. Tidus and Wakka, true to form were engrossed in an argument about blitzball. Something about which teams were going to provide the most competition at the big tournament this year, and Lulu would chip in with a sly and witty comment every now and then about the boys being 'overly obsessive' with such an insignificant thing. This would allow for a unified "You just don't understand," coming from the two blitzer's in question.

The invite to Lulu and Wakka's house had been a last minute decision; the black mages excuse being that she had made too much food. After what happened that afternoon, the ex-summoner had no intention of going as her mood could be described as unpredictably depressive. She honestly believed that she hadn't the strength or even the mental capacity to handle idle banter amongst her friends. But Tidus had insisted upon it so as to not arouse suspicion to their troubles…and so here they were.

Yuna however, couldn't even manage a slight smile, and Tidus' cheerful mood was, to be blunt, starting to get on her nerves. She couldn't believe how calm he was being after the Fayth's revelation and the fact that he was acting so oblivious and complacent was more then a little insulting. Her immediate dejection that had formed over the last few days instantly welled into anger as she clutched her fork tightly in her palm, turning the rosy pink skin on her knuckles a shade of white ivory.

Tidus laughed…

That was it…

She jumped to her feet abruptly, sending the chair she was sitting on a moment ago crashing into the wall behind her. Everyone's cheerful gossip ceased then as all eyes came to rest on her. They watched her carefully, all adapting a somewhat puzzled expression as to what may have caused what was apparently a furious outburst. Eyes shifted uneasily as they attempted to read Yuna's feelings, but it was next to impossible to interpret her downcast gaze. Tidus stared after her especially worried. In an effort to console her unknown anger, he reached a loving arm out across the table to show his support, but she quickly snapped it away, still refusing to look at him.

"Lulu, I'm done eating…I'll head home now," she announced solemnly as she began making her way into the kitchen. Her blonde haired blitzer who was obviously confused and irritated, tried to go after her but was held back by a surprisingly strong, black sleeved hand.

"I'll go," the black mage declared bluntly, easing her friend back down into his chair. She smiled slightly and gave him a reassuring wink when she saw the look of utter helplessness on his face. "It's girl talk."

Wakka gave a reassuring grin to his teammate, slapping him over the shoulder affectionately. "You should know as well as I do brudda that you don't wanna get mixed up in that kinda thing, ya?"

Tidus didn't look at the flaming haired Besaidian and instead continued to silently plead with both of the ex-guardians that they would just let him go and talk to her…they didn't know what was happening…they didn't know what she was going through…

Upon realizing that they had no intention of relenting, he sighed to himself, defeated. He gave a slight nod to acknowledge Lulu's plan before slumping over in his chair and throwing his head into his hands…

'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…'

--------------------------------

Yuna threw her plate down on the bench, trying her hardest to stop the tears. She turned the faucets of the sink on as hard as they would go to muffle the sound of her whimpers. Everything was falling apart. It was better in that naïve moment of bliss they shared together on the beach just yesterday. She wanted everyday to be like that…but it seemed that it never would be. His return had brought about a new danger…to her. She was slowly crumbling behind this façade she had put on for her friends. She wouldn't last much longer…

"Yuna?"

She instinctively bit her lip, struggling to compose herself. Lulu and Wakka couldn't know. It would just make things worse. The young ex-summoner was in no shape to face her 'sister' so instead she remained still, her gaze firmly locked on the uniform patterned tiles in front of her.

"What's up Lulu?" She asked with as much genuine curiosity as she could muster considering the circumstances at hand. The raven eyed women only stood on the spot in silence, waiting for her to reveal everything on her own terms. She wasn't stupid. Something was going on…her display at the table had more then hinted that fact to both her and her husband.

"Why don't you tell me?" She countered; the slight movement of her head causing the bells in her hair to ring softly. "He's obviously made you upset. What did he do?"

'He pretended like nothing was wrong…like it doesn't matter if he disappears or not…he won't touch me…he won't do anything! That's exactly it! He's not doing anything! In fact, he should be the one in here at the moment. Not Lulu…'

"He's done nothing, Lulu…absolutely nothing."

"Yuna-"

"I'm fine. Really…I'm just going to go for a walk okay? Can you tell Tidus that for me?" The black mage gave up then. Her friend obviously didn't want to talk about it and she knew how persistently stubborn she was. The only thing the retired guardian could do was fulfill her request, much to her chagrin. She sighed.

'You can't keep shutting people out, Yuna. It's not healthy…'

"Okay…if that's what you really want," she grumbled obviously annoyed as she shrugged. Yuna simply ignored her friend and left, making her way out of the small building and made her way over towards her own dwelling. They couldn't keep going like this…not with only three days left to actually enjoy each others company.

They needed to talk, that much was obvious. So Yuna waited.

It wasn't long afterwards that Tidus made his entrance, almost running through the door to find out what had happened over dinner. He eventually found her sitting on their bed, looking a little more than angry. He sort of understood why she was acting this way, but wasn't completely sure…all he could really do was ask.

"What was that all about?"

She responded swiftly, "You should know the answer to that question already."

He shrugged, pretending to be indifferent. "Do you want to elaborate on that a little more perhaps? I am blonde you know."

The young brunette sighed, annoyed and unappreciative of his joking around and bitingly sarcastic tone. "We have three days left, and this is how you're behaving; like it doesn't matter…"

"Of course it matters Yu-"

"Then why haven't you touched me? Or even tried to have a proper conversation with me? Do you even want me at all?" She had managed to keep a straight face and her emotions in check, but through the dim light, the blitzer noticed the pain radiating from her glazed eyes and he immediately felt incredibly guilty for what he had done…

…which was what again?

"Is this what you're angry about?" He asked, although he was quite confident in his conviction. He bent down to her level, placing her hands in his own, rubbing them soothingly. "I thought so…but to be honest, I feel like you've been shooting daggers at me all day. I thought that if I went anywhere near you, you'd surely castrate me."

She had to laugh at that. He really was just trying to make her feel better. And she didn't deny it. She really was angry with him…but not because he'd done anything wrong…

"I don't want you to go," she said suddenly, her voice breaking on the last word. Her palms instinctively tightened in his as tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. He smiled ruefully at her and then looked away. "I know."

"Then don't," she blurted out on pure impulse, abruptly lurching forward. "Don't go."

"Yuna we've been through this already…you know I have to…" he trailed off, searching her intense expression. He went to stand up, but she refused to let go—resting her forehead against his out stretched tanned arm. He stood there, unmoving for a moment, waiting for her to say something.

"No…" She croaked. Her voice quite raw.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered to her softly, grinning mischievously. "You're coming over here."

"What?"

And before Yuna even knew what had happened, he yanked her from the bed, pressing her to him almost violently as he kissed her. She instantly threw her arms around his neck, pushing equally hard against his back, honestly believing that she couldn't get close enough. She could feel all common sense slowly slipping away…passion suffocating all logical thought and self control. She never wanted to let go…she tried not to think about the fact that, this could very well be the first and last time she would have him here like this…

And just like that her body took on a mind of its own; her hands slipping under the yellow fabric of his blitzball uniform and letting it slip unacknowledged to the floor beside them. Their kissing deepened, their breathing growing ragged from the lack of air. Tidus' arms had slipped down her back, resting impatiently on her hips, awaiting her permission to continue. Yuna broke away for a second which allowed him to briskly remove her white shirt before moving to capture her lips again—his heated pecks fluttering down her neck. She shuddered in his arms; her exposed torso suddenly stinging with lack of warmth.

…But apparently, things were to go no further tonight. If Yuna was ever going to have him, it defiantly wouldn't be now.

"Yuna?" A familiar voice alleged from behind the door to her bedroom. The couple instantly sprang apart, breathing heavily as they listening intently to the person who had interrupted their rather intimate and private moment. At that point, Yuna wanted nothing more then to scream at who ever it was to go away, but refrained from doing so. She knew Lulu would be more then willing to take Tidus' previous grisly assumptions and turn them into reality.

"Yeah?" She called unsteadily sounding rather short of breath. If that was supposed to convince Lulu that they were merely talking, she'd failed miserably. Her arms remained crossed protectively across her chest as she kept her eyes firmly on the door. Tidus quickly bent down and tossed her white shirt at her, whilst he re-adjusted his own.

"Rikku called; she said that she'll be dropping by to visit tonight." She sounded distracted and Yuna knew that the black mage was listening closely to the sounds that she supposed that Lulu were able to hear. Once she had her shirt on securely, and Tidus also appeared decent, she made her way across the room to open the door, meeting Lulu's suspicious stare head on.

"She'll be here in an hour," she finished, scanning Yuna's expression carefully for any hints of what was happening before. The ex-summoner was all to aware of the tamed curiosity burning in her crimson eyes, but made sure that her face gave nothing away.

"Okay, thanks Lulu." No matter how Yuna tried, it was impossible not to sound spiteful. Her tone caught both Lulu and Tidus off guard, but the spell-caster was quick to hide it. "You're welcome," she said simply, sending Tidus a swift death glare as well. "But Yuna I was also going to ask…I need your help. Wakka has gone to wait for Rikku on the beach so she can be safely guided back to the village. Do you think that you could mind Vidina for me while I clean up?"

That wasn't a suggestion; it was an order. Yuna silently seethed. "I'll be there soon."

Turning around and almost slamming the door, she proceeded to get herself ready for some 'quality' time with her ever attentive guardian, who surely after this little episode, would now be provoked into watching over her with an almost spy-like manner.

"You upset?" Tidus whispered gently from his position on the other side of the room.

That was an understatement, "a little I suppose."

He chuckled, strolling over casually towards her. He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, resting his head in the crook of her neck. "I guess…she means well." He reasoned, finding it hard to come up with an excuse. They were both disappointed. A moment like that couldn't just be re-fabricated out of thin air. They would be teasing the devil to get another chance like that.

"I'm not a summoner anymore," Yuna said firmly, a slight hint of agitation laced within her statement. "She doesn't have to watch me all the time now. I don't need guardians now. I can look after myself…I just need you."

He smirked at the embarrassment in her voice. "Why don't we just tell them? Maybe then they'll leave us alone?"

"No."

"Why not?" His voice was muffled by her skin. He placed a simple kiss on her exposed shoulder. She stiffened in response.

"Because," she started, moving forward out of his unfastened embrace, her back still facing him. She didn't feel comfortable with him touching her now—not after Lulu's interruption…she was probably watching somewhere right now. "That would just complicate things."

"How?" He was starting to get irritated.

"I…I don't…want them to know that…that I-"

"Yuna!" It was Lulu, of course. She sounded angry.

"I've got to go…" Yuna said quickly, escaping much to her relief, from the conversation.

"Why don't you go down to the beach and wait with Wakka? I'm sure he'd enjoy the company." She suggested, making sure not to glance at his face on her way out.

"Wait."

He jumped in her path, holding out a strong arm as a barrier. She stopped short, unaware of the faint green glow it emitted.

"What?" She said calmly, her voice shaking.

"What didn't you want Lulu to know?"

"It doesn't matter now," she mumbled with her gaze still downcast, once again she tried to maneuver her way around and out the door.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize! Why can't you just tell me?" He demanded, grabbing her by the arms. He tried to look at her, but she avoided him, keeping her focus on the grey carpet beneath her feet.

"You won't like it, but…"

"Tidus…"

"I don't care if I don't like it; I promise I won't get mad." He coaxed, his grip tightening on her shoulders.

"I have to start nowif I don't, you risk disappearing."

Yuna's voice was echoing…ringing loudly in his head…why? Was he dreaming? Going crazy perhaps?

"What do you mean you have to start now? Start what?" He asked, puzzled.

Yuna's head snapped up then, meeting his puzzled gaze. She was equally confused. "I never said I had to start anything," she corrected, wondering how he could have pulled that sentence out of thin air.

"Lady Yuna. Forgive me."

"Yes you did," he challenged, a fierce look of determination now etched on his features. He shook his head to clear it before continuing. Yuna just started curiously. "You just said 'I have to start now, if I don't, you risk disappearing.'"

"I truly am sorry Tidus…you'll have to forget about her for awhile."

"I don't wanna forget!" He snapped, causing the bewildered girl in his arms to jump back slightly. "Tidus what's going on?"

"I know you don't…but you have to. You agreed to this."

"You tell me Yuna! You say one thing and then…and then…you…" Someone's loud gasp cut him off.

"You…you're…no…th-they promised…they promised…"

"Yuna? What's going on? Why can't I see you?…" He was panicking now.

Then everything went dark.

He felt himself falling, but didn't hit the ground.

The pyreflies cried, and so did Yuna.

It was her pilgrimage all over again.

"Lady Yuna…forgive us."


A/N: Had this done for a couple of weeks but I haven't posted it…for some reason that I can't remember. Oh well, -shrugs- Enjoy anyway. It's short I know, but well, I thought that I should post something for you guys anyway. R&R! Please!