The Persistence of Memory – Chapter 3
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"Today's the day!" Carter said, jumping onto the bed next to me and pulling on my arm. "Get up, we're going to tell everyone now."
"Why are you so excited? And what time is it?" I mumbled, swatting his hand away and burying my head under my pillow.
"It's already 6:30," he told me. "We need to get ready or we'll be late. Care to join me for a shower?" That woke me up.
"Okay, go turn the water on." He got up and went to the bathroom, flipping the light switch up on his way to ensure that I actually got out of bed. He knows me too well.
I pulled off my comforter and shuffled to the bathroom. So today we were going to tell everyone our news. Well not really news, seeing as we've been dating for a month now…
"Hey, are you coming or do I need to come get you?" Carter called to me from the shower. I figured I could worry later, there was a man waiting in the shower for me, and I was feeling a little dirty.
"Umm, so… are we just gonna walk in there and tell everyone?" I asked on the way to work.
"Hmm."
"Carter?"
"What? Oh, yeah, great." He seemed a little out of it.
"Are you listening to me?"
"Yeah, we're gonna tell." He reluctantly pulled his gaze away from the little girl outside the window and turned to face me.
"So are you going to or should I?"
"You can," Carter said.
"How should I do it? What should I say?"
"Abby relax, it doesn't matter. I'm sure everyone was expecting it."
"What will they say? I mean, if we couldn't make it last time, why should it work now? We're no different. I'm still Abby, and you're still Carter. I'm still the drunk with the messed up family. I'm still-"
"What you are is amazing, and I love you for all that you are-" Carter interrupted. I swallowed hard at the mention of the "L" word, but acted like I didn't hear him. "- and I don't think that our relationship will bother anyone."
I managed a weak smile. The El jolted to a stop, and I fell forwards onto his chest. "Relax," he said. "We're gonna be okay." He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed.
The doors opened and we exited the train. "Can we get some coffee before the shift?" I asked.
"Only if we can have pie, too."
"Deal." I pulled him down the stairs; even the thought of caffeine perked me up.
Settling into a booth at Doc Magoo's, I smiled and looked up at him. Carter was lost in thought, staring blankly at a menu that we both knew he had memorized years ago. "What's on your mind?" I said. He only gets that look when he's worried.
"When you said you were a drunk…" he started, but didn't finish the sentence. I sighed audibly and played with my napkin.
"When was the last time?" Carter asked, looking up into my eyes.
"The last time I drank?" He nodded. "Probably when you left." Ouch. I realized a little too late that admitting that would make him feel bad. Oh well, it's the truth.
"Oh god Abby, I'm so sorry." He reached across the table and took my hand.
"Forget about it, I've been sober since then. Ten months, two weeks and eleven days," I added with a smile.
He smiled back and took a sip of coffee. Our little moment was interrupted by the waitress bringing us pie. One slice of apple, and one slice of cherry, as usual. We finished up and went across the road to work, and the metal doors closed behind us with a soft thud.
"Well, it's now or never," Carter told me out of the side of his mouth as we walked towards the lounge.
Oh yeah, we were going to tell today. I almost forgot. I stopped by the admit desk where Susan, Jerry, and Gallant were standing. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"H-h-hey," I managed to stutter. Susan just gave me a strange look.
"You okay Abby?" she asked.
"Yeah, there's something I want to tell you."
"Oh, okay, do you want to go talk in the lounge?" she asked as Carter looked on, obviously amused.
"No, it's ok. They can hear."
Susan looked at me expectantly. "Well?"
"I…" Damnit, where did my voice go?
"I- I'm going… never mind," I said, and turned away from the desk.
Carter grabbed my arm and pulled me back. He knew I couldn't tell them, he knew I liked actions better than words. So he pulled me to him so that were face to face, our lips centimeters away from each other. Then he kissed me, hard, right in front of all of them. And for once, Susan was quiet.
I was so surprised at first, I almost screamed. But I couldn't help it, kissing Carter always had this effect on me.
So anyways, there we stood, making out in the middle the ER. It seemed like hours, but it only lasted about three seconds. When we pulled apart, I looked into his eyes and thanked him with mine.
Then Susan came to her senses. "Oh my god! Abby! You're the slut!" We all started laughing.
"How was your day?" Carter asked when we got back to his place after work.
"Too long," I said, sitting down on the couch with him. He sighed.
"Same."
We sat there in silence, just enjoying each other's company. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he placed his hand on my leg.
"Did you finally get an ICU bed for the old lady?" he said while rubbing his eyes.
"Yeah, right before I left."
"That's good."
"Hmm."
"Hey, can I ask you something?" I said.
"Sure."
"When Bobby died…" I started to talk, but then I realized that this was probably a hard topic to discuss.
"It's all right." He took my hand, encouraging me to go on.
"Did you ever blame yourself?"
Wow. That's one question that I never expected to hear. Ever. Yet somehow, the question is completely Abby. Unexpected, but honest and pure. I looked down at her, and thought for a bit.
Yeah, I've had some pretty crappy writer's block. This is still not my best work, but I thought you guys might want to read something.
Reader's choice for today: 1. Does Carter blame himself (yes or no)?
2. Which ER character should return (Doug, Carol, Benton, or whoever you guys pick)?
Thanks to LcarbyM, sara (see you tomorrow, I can't wait!), welsh-girl, trakrunr83, sierra, englishpetal, MrsAbbyCarter, Eve, aliciums8187, StormyBlue, CamilaC, Me, BackToCalifornia, and TruLuv for the reviews. You guys rock! Reviews make my life worth living.
