Once again thank you for your sweet reviews! I'll be starting to go through them, replying to everyone so just hold tight for me! It's been a weird past few days trying to juggle things. This chapter does get pretty emotional and heavy with Brennan opening up about what's been bothering her. I hope I've done it well and written my version of her story well.
Booth stood by the dresser pouring the hot water he'd just heated in the electric kettle he found into a mug. He and Brennan had returned to their room a few minutes ago and decided to take showers before turning in. Though she didn't ask, he knew Brennan enjoyed a cup of hot tea every night before bed and when he saw a packet of the lemon and chamomile tea she'd gotten from Mary-Anne placed by the kettle, he figured he'd go ahead and make it for her.
Their mini-bar had been stocked with the small electric kettle, some glasses, mugs, and water so, he had everything he needed without having to go back downstairs. He heard the bathroom door open and he turned around smiling.
"Hey, you look pretty relaxed and cute."
"Thanks," Brennan giggled, still towel-drying her hair. Though the heat was on, she was still dressed in her pink and black skull patterned PJ pants Booth and Parker had gotten her and one of his FBI t-shirts. It wasn't uncommon for Brennan to wear his shirts though. Since they'd begun dating, Booth had found her multiple times, going through his drawers looking for said shirts. Her claim was that the shirts were "softer than anything she'd ever worn even though that might not be completely rational."
"I made you your tea," Booth offered the mug to her as she hung the towel over the back of the chair by the desk.
"Oh Booth, thank you. I was just about to make it actually." She accepted the mug with a smile and a kiss on his cheek. Booth captured her head in his hand and gently turned it so he could kiss her again but this time on the lips. He kissed her slowly for a few minutes just enjoying the feeling of her with him and that they were together. His other hand drifted down to palm her belly.
Brennan had to tighten her fingers around the handle of the mug. The slow and possessive way Booth was kissing her was filling her with so much warmth she couldn't tell if it was partly due to just recently having come out of a sizzling hot shower or if all had to do with his lips on hers, claiming her.
He pulled away a moment after and rested his forehead on hers.
"God knows how much I'm so happy that I can finally do that." He whispered.
"Hmmm," Brennan hummed, not able to formulate her feelings into words yet.
"C'mon, let's climb into bed and relax for a bit." Booth led her to the bed. His primary intent was to indeed relax as he knew that whatever they had to talk about would leave them both unhinged and vulnerable, Brennan especially.
Once she was settled against the pillows, Booth turned to his side facing her and slowly lifted up the t-shirt she was wearing. Brennan smiled, knowing exactly what was coming as he'd been doing so every night since the minute he had found out that she was pregnant.
Booth smiled softly as he saw the gentle curve of her belly where their baby was. Though this was his nightly ritual, he still couldn't believe that right under his palms, tucked safely in Brennan's womb was their baby, healthy and growing. He'd also been mentally tracking the growth of her belly and it thrilled him to see it grow even the slightest.
"How is she today? Did she give you any trouble, besides this morning and the nausea?" Booth asked placing his palms on her belly, gently rubbing circles over it.
Brennan shivered from the tender attention he was doting on her and their baby. She placed the mug in one hand and another over one of his wrists. "He hasn't been giving much trouble since. I think it was probably just the excitement of traveling and waking up so early."
They hadn't been able to determine the sex of the baby yet but Booth was adamant that they were having a girl but just to even the playing field, she referred to the baby as he every time Booth said she.
"Yeah, she's so used to our quiet and easy mornings. Aren't you baby girl?" Booth leaned down and placed a gentle string of kisses on Brennan's belly. "And you," he asked as he straightened up again, not removing his warm palms from where they rested.
"How are Bones? And be honest with me, please," he pleaded.
Brennan sighed and took a few more sips of her tea before placing the mug on the bedside table. "I'm okay," she started, "Well, for the most part. I'm mainly just tired both physically and emotionally. Being up and on my feet active today has left me a little tired and the extra weight I'm feeling from the baby doesn't necessarily help with the exhaustion."
"I'm sorry, Bones. Is there anything I can do?"
"It's not your fault Booth. I'll be okay. I just need some rest."
Booth nodded. "Okay, what about the emotional part? I swear Bones if I could get us back to D.C. I would, given that it's two days before Christmas – "
"Booth," Brennan interrupted him. "This is not your fault. I told you earlier and I'll say it as much as I need to, don't blame yourself. These things happen. I'd much rather be stuck here in this comfortable and cozy bed and breakfast with you than…" she trailed off, looking away.
"Than what Bones?"
"Booth…"
"Hey, look at me." He waited until her gaze met his. "I'm not going anywhere. What you were thinking, where your mind was at… that's what's been bothering you, right?"
Her barely-there nod confirmed his suspicions. "In the car, by the window, during dinner for a bit too… something's hurting you, baby." Booth hated when she was hurting, it was as though a part of him was hurting too.
Brennan thought about what Mary-Anne had told her and took a breath. She looked into Booth's eyes, those warm, reassuring brown eyes that were looking at her with such tender love. It was time for her to let go of this last bit of history that had held her hostage every Christmas.
"I need you to promise me you won't overreact."
"Bones, when – "
"I mean it, Booth. I need you to promise me that you won't immediately go breaking open that safe for your gun to go hunt him down."
"Him? I – " Booth looked at Brennan confused, a million questions running through his brain. But he knew that the only way he would get the story would be if he promised.
"Okay. Okay, I promise."
Brennan nodded and shifted a bit on the bed. Booth's hands moved from her belly and he held one of her hands in his, the other bent propping his head up as he leaned on his side more. Brennan sighed and felt Booth's hand squeeze hers in silent encouragement and reassurance.
Taking a breath she began, "You know how the holidays are a tough time for me. My parents disappeared around Christmas time and though Russ tried to make Christmas for me, I was too distraught to even engage with him. Then by the new year, he left and I was in the system."
Booth nodded, knowing this part and how much she was affected by it. He rubbed his thumb over her hand in a comforting motion.
"Well, in the years that followed, while I was in the system, it… it got worse." She shuddered. For years since getting out of the system, she tried to forget about those lonely nights and moments. She'd worked hard, pushed herself to be the best, and to be independent in every way she could think of so that she didn't have to think of those moments. But during the holidays, it always seemed like she was more prone to remember the darker moments.
"Do you," she swallowed. "Do you remember the story of how I'd been locked in the trunk of the car?"
"Yeah Bones, I do," he told her softly. There was no way he'd been able to forget that horrendous story. How anyone could have abused such a vulnerable, special and beautiful woman was beyond him. And it made him shudder every time he realized that that, along with the other dangerous things she'd done as part of her career, he could have lost her before he met her.
"Well, that was during the winter… around the holidays. I can't remember the exact date. My memory of it… I guess a part of it…"
"Hey, you don't need to explain Bones. I know, baby."
"After I'd been taken out of the trunk, I couldn't remember who had pulled me out exactly. If it was my foster mother, Mrs. Anderson who came for me or if it was one of the older foster children they had. In any case, I was pulled out and taken inside the house. But I was so dehydrated, hungry, I'd been… I didn't have access to a restroom… I…" suddenly, shame and guilt overflowed. She pulled away from Booth and sat up a little higher, her posture rigid on the edge of the bed.
Booth's heart twisted. Having been kidnapped before and confined to small enclosed spaces, he knew that you just simply had to do what you had to do. But for Bones, a woman who took great pride in her dignity, fought for it even, recalling such moments was difficult, to say the least. He followed her and sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. That was when he saw the silent tears falling down her face.
"Oh Bones," he pulled her into his side tighter wiping the tears that were falling down her face. He felt two small arms wrap around him and he pulled her to him more. He started to gently sway them side to side, his nose buried in the soft strands of her hair, cooing soft words of love and comfort.
"You don't have to continue if you don't want to Bones," he told her, unsure if she'd want to continue telling him.
"No. No… I need to finish telling you." She sniffled She appreciated Booth giving her an escape but she had already started and to have to go back to where she was mentally again was not acceptable. Booth nodded and pulled them back onto the bed. This time, he kept her in his arms. Her head rested on his chest, the gentle curve of her belly nestled by his torso and her legs intertwined with his. He wanted to make sure she had enough contact with him to help ground her.
"Whenever you're ready, Bones."
She nodded against his chest and continued. "I'd messed myself pretty bad. But instead of taking me up to the bathroom immediately, I was left in the kitchen. I was tired, dehydrated, my body couldn't hold me up any longer so I collapsed on the floor. It was probably only for thirty minutes but it felt like hours."
"I had closed my eyes, but when I heard his voice, I tried to open them long enough to stand. By then I'd gained back just enough consciousness to be somewhat alert."
"Whose voice?"
"Mr. Anderson's. My foster father. He was usually drunk beyond coherency but I guess that night, he was just starting when he came into the kitchen. I remember him hauling me to my feet, gripping my arm very tightly."
"'Get up you brat.' That's what I recall him saying. His grip on my arm was so tight, digging into the bruises I was certain were already there. He pulled me closer to him, his breath reeked of alcohol and what I believed was marijuana. He threatened to lock me up in the trunk again if I didn't tell him how I'd gotten out."
Booth's body vibrated at the description of the poor excuse of a man who was one of Brennan's foster fathers. He briefly thought about how right Brennan was to make him promise not to overreact because if it was up to him, he'd go hunt down the asshole and rip him apart right now in the middle of this storm. Brennan sensed the tension in her partner and brought a hand to his chest, slowly drawing idle patterns to keep him calm.
"Somehow I'd managed to find my voice and tell him but I don't think he believed me when I said I wasn't sure. I mean I had been left in that trunk for three days without any kind of sustenance. When the door was opened, I couldn't see clearly."
"I know Bones, I know," he hummed.
"He dragged me around, pulling and pushing me until I slipped. When he bent down to pick me, I think he caught on to how horrible I smelt because the next thing I knew was that I was dragged down to the basement. I hadn't even known they had a basement until then."
Brennan took a steadying breath before continuing and as she mentally prepared herself to continue, she felt Booth's tender kiss on her head. It was all she needed to remind herself that she was safe now and while she was mentally back there, she wasn't physically back there.
In a haze, young Temperance stumbled over her two feet as she was being pulled down the stairs to the basement. She was still pretty out of it, her head lolling and eyes burning. Not to mention the rumble in her stomach, the pain that could only be described as her stomach eating itself.
"You stupid brat. No wonder your own parents didn't want ya," Mr. Anderson swung her around throwing her onto the basement floor. The cold instantly shocked her and for a brief, fleeting moment had Temperance wishing she was back in that trunk for some warmth.
"Get up," he dragged her to her feet and then threw on to an old, torn mattress in the corner. What she didn't realize was that right beside the mattress was a hose. "Answer me, little girl."
"I… I'm telling the-th-the truth… I don't…." she stumbled out.
"Oh, shut up!" Temperance yelped as his fist came in contact with her stomach. She curled into herself trying to protect herself from any more incoming blows but could do nothing as ice cold water poured down on her. She whimpered and twisted but could get nowhere due to her weakened state.
She shuddered as she recalled how cold the water felt on her skin. She'd been wearing nothing but her PJs that night which offered little to no protection whatsoever from the cold.
"He left shortly after. Kept me down there throughout Christmas. I… there was a small half bathroom down there so I managed to have somewhere to pull myself to but he didn't bring food until a while after. Later I learned that he and his wife had an argument over starving me and so, very ignorantly and spitefully, he threw the container of food down."
Booth closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard, his grip on her tightening.
"I didn't care. I was so hungry and by some miracle, it was a container full of food. Not enough to take away almost a week of stomach pangs and deep hunger but enough to feed me at that moment. I'd been using the same hose he doused me with to get water and drink. I wasn't worried about how much bacteria might have been in it or where it was coming from. It felt clean so I kept drinking to survive."
"Oh Bones…" Booth hated every ounce of the story. He wasn't sure how much more he could take.
"A few days later, the basement door opened and Mrs. Anderson came in. She was accompanied by a social worker and the EMTs. I learned later that she'd had enough of his abusive behavior and called the authorities when he was out smoking. I was taken to the hospital, stayed there for about three days before I was taken back to the group home."
Feeling a little antsy and drained, Brennan pushed up the slightest from Booth's arms so she could recline against the headboard. "That's why I used to leave for the holidays. If I got the furthest away from America, it was easier for me to forget. It didn't quelch the memories but it was easier to manage. It's also why I chose warm, almost humid places. Darfur, Peru, Egypt… I was so cold locked in that basement, almost dying of hypothermia. I would have if I didn't find an old quilt that I'm sure was being eaten away by moths but it gave me enough warmth at night."
"And also, why you prefer being home if you stay." Booth did the math, connecting the dots.
"Yes," she breathed. "If I spend the holidays here, I prefer to do it in my apartment where I know where everything is, how to turn up the heat if needed. Or… now that we're together and since we've met, I haven't minded spending them with you."
Booth couldn't help the question, "Why?"
Brennan pulled back now, turning her body so she could face him, "Because you feel like home. You've always felt safe and trusted. It was something my holidays had been lacking."
Booth could see the seriousness in her eyes and hear it in her tone. He wrapped his arms around her hugging her close to him. Simply enjoying the comfort of having her in his arms. This woman… this brave, battle-worn woman. Life had thrown so much at her, so intensely at such a young age, it amazed him that she preserved as well as she did. He knew that who she was today was a result of how resilient she had been, but it didn't stop him from wishing she didn't have to be.
He pulled away and placed a sweet kiss on her lips, sighing at how right it felt. How much he needed her and how grateful he was that God had spared her life long enough to have become such an important part of his.
"Thank you for telling me, Bones. I know it wasn't easy going back there but thank you for letting me in." He tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and tilted his face. "I'm so proud of you, Bones and I love you so much."
"Why, I didn't – "
He silenced her with a soft kiss, "I'm proud of you for letting me in. For being vulnerable. I know how emotional this was." His hand came up to cup her jaw. "You're amazing, Temperance Brennan, don't ever doubt that."
Brennan ran a hand down his chest and back up and down his shoulder where she held onto his bicep. She felt raw after recalling that memory, gutted emotionally but also felt a weight had been lifted just by having this amazing, kind, and caring man supporting her and being her rock.
She sighed and crashed forward in his arms again. Booth never one to hesitate, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her so she was hugging him while on his lap, straddling him. His palms opened on her back and ran them up and down soothing her and bringing her down from her emotional high. Every so often he'd run his fingers along the soft skin just under the waistband of her sweatpants.
Brennan sighed and melted into his arms. The more he soothed her, the more intoxicated by his gentle touch she became until she lifted her head slightly and began leaving soft kisses along his jaw.
Booth didn't want to deny her anything but he was unsure of how receptive she would be to making love after opening herself up like that. He pulled her back slightly so he could see her face, his hands resting on the upper swell of her bottom. He could see the love and desire looking back at him along with traces of sad vulnerability.
"Bones,"
"Please, Booth. I want to forget… I want to feel loved…" she pleaded.
"Oh, baby. You are," he kissed her. "You are so loved. Don't doubt that and I will spend the rest of my life… however long you'll let me show you how much you're loved."
"Show me, now, please," she breathed leaning back into him, kissing him. Their kiss quickly escalated and Booth shifted them just enough to be able to flip them. As emotionally drained as she was, Brennan knew she needed this. She needed to feel connected to him in a way she never thought she'd be able to.
She wanted to feel surrounded by his love. No one had ever made her feel that way. No man had ever made her feel so divinely loved and appreciated the way Booth did. And when he intertwined their fingers, pulling their arms up above her head, she could see he needed the same.
Booth was unnerved by the horrible story he'd heard. Though she was in his arms, he needed to be surrounded by her, inside her, one with her. He needed to love her, kiss away every scar and hurt on her. Booth just needed to be with the woman he loved so deeply. To know that she was alive with him.
When she squirmed and a whimper escaped her throat, he smiled leaning down just a tad bit more. He kissed her just under her ear and suckled her earlobe lightly, "Relax baby. I got you. I promise." He kissed his way to her jaw and captured her lips in a possessive, soul-consuming kiss.
He took his time showing her how much he loved her. Showering her with kisses, nips, and soft strokes. Worshipping her body thoroughly. He slowly discarded her clothes first and when her bare belly came to view, that gentle curve, a reminder of what their love had created, Booth's eyes filled with tears. He showered her with even more kisses. A life without Brennan, without their child, was unacceptable.
He discarded his clothes next and brought her to the edge and back before lowering himself on his elbows. "I love you Bones," he kissed her again.
Her hands wrapped around his shoulders, one trailing to his neck, "I love you too Booth, so much." As if they'd been making love for years, rather than just a few beautiful months, he lined himself up and the two of them brought the other to the edge of sweet oblivion and followed the other right over it.
Panting, they lay wrapped in each other's arms, speaking softly and kissing tenderly. No words needed to be spoken. All they needed was the comfort of the other's body by their side. Brennan had dozed off pretty quickly, the emotions of it all finally catching up to her but Booth stayed awake a little while thinking to himself that come morning light, he'd do whatever he could to make this the best Christmas Brennan had ever had.
I really do hope I've done her story justice. Things will take a happier and less emotionally heavy route as they settle in for Christmas Eve and see if they can indeed go back home or if they'll be stuck in Philly until further notice. As always, please leave me a review so I know what you thought! I'll be answering them today so I look forward to seeing yours hehe!
