"Dude no fair you win every time!" Cartman's elbow pounded into Kyle's side, evoking a guttural laugh from the ginger.

The sound of bubbling water could be heard as Kenny takes a hit from their shared bong. Stan snickers and reaches over to Kenny, grabbing his shoulder, "Shhh…Shh… Ken… Shhh." Stan could barely keep his eyes open and his mouth was curved into the biggest smile, "What if residence life hears?"

"Man fuck them!" Kenny laughed as smoke billowed out of his nose and mouth.

"Dude!" Kyle shouted, "I'M a resident assistant."

"And what a law-abiding one you are at that." Cartman leaned into him, if you were sober and looking in, it would appear as if they were about to kiss. Kyle could only stare back, distracted by his eyes, he could feel the heat rising to his face.

Suddenly smoke surrounded the two boys sitting on the bed, "Kenny what the shit?!" Cartman coughed and waved the smoke away.

As the smoke cleared they could see Kenny and Stan collapsed onto the floor from laughter, "Kyle is gonna protect us all!" The boys became increasingly entangled, each grasping at the other for some sort of stability as they thrashed around laughing.

"I can't if you're gonna be blowing excess smoke! You're gonna waste all my bud." Kyle stood up to open the window and set up a fan. From behind him, he could once again hear water bubbling, "Dude are you serious?".

Rather than seeing Kenny light up again he saw Cartman's mouth to the bong, they looked each other in the eye as he pulled smoke into his lungs, "Come on Kyle" he choked out, holding the smoke inside, "You need another hit".

Kyle grabbed the bong and lighter from Cartman, placing his lips where Eric's were mere seconds ago and taking a drag himself. He could feel the smoke fill his chest and his head, the rush of it temporarily stunned him. Seeing stars before coughing it all out.

"You got such baby lungs, dude." Cartman criticized.

Kyle was still recovering, so he couldn't offer his typical snarky response. Stan instead pitched in, "It's true Kyle. You have the weakest lungs here." turning his attention now, "Ken, give me the controller I want to play."

Kenny with a quiet content smile handed Stan a red joy-con.

Cartman refocused onto the game at hand and picked back up his controller, "You better be playing too Ken I need to get you back for last time and kick your ass."

Turning around Kenny gave the fat boy a wink and said, "How bout you kiss my ass as I lap you instead?"

"Oh, you're on." Cartman's smile grew wider and more sinister.

As the night devolved so did the four young men, eventually Stan passed out sitting on the floor, head resting against Cartman's leg. Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman were all conversing amongst each other about whatever popped into their head.

"No, dude, I'm telling you it's good." Kenny nodded, sitting criss-crossed on the floor looking up at the others who have been shifting increasingly closer together.

"Nuh, uh. No, no way it's good" Cartman shook his head violently, "There's no way Puss and Boots is good."

"IT IS!"

Cartman whipped his head towards Kyle, "Kahl, back me up. Puss and Boots is not a good movie!"

The ginger couldn't help but smile, "I don't get why you're so against this movie, dude. I mean- it's got a solid story."

"THE DUDES BROTHER IS AN EGG!"

Kenny launched forward towards them, flopping his upper half onto the couch, "THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT GREAT!"

Stan shifted in his sleep, the boys froze, silence filled the room as they stared, watching to see if they had awoken the beast.

He shifts, then pause, then suddenly his face scrunches up, Kenny removes himself from the couch, trying to restore the balance.

After a brief moment, Stan's face returns back to how it was in its peaceful state, "I think we're good guys." Cartman breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm awake, fatass," Stan grumbled, turning his face into Cartman's leg so the sound was muffled.

"Shit." Kyle muttered under his breath, "Sorry, I tried to keep it down." The only response he got from that was Stan pinching his brow.

Kenny placed a hand on Stan's knee, "I'm sorry Stan, I didn't mean to wake you." Stan's eyes opened, meeting the blondes. His gaze shifted into a softer shape and he gave a weak smile before pushing himself up off of Cartman.

"What were you guys talking about? Eggs?"

Kyle, scratching the back of his neck, "Oh so you heard us?"

"Kinda hard not to when you shout it." He chuckled, looking around the room at his friends. Glancing just in front of him he saw Eric and Kyle's hands suspiciously close to each other. He shifted his view to Cartman, who was already looking towards him, his face reading, "Don't say a word." Stan narrowed his eyes, smirking before turning his attention to Kyle, who was simply staring at their hands.

Finally, he looked at Kenny, who was still staring at him with kind eyes. Stan let out a yawn and sunk to the floor, "I'm tired as shit..."

"Do you need us to go?" Kenny offered, clearly not wanting to go.

Stan's eyes widened, Kyle and Cartman's heads looking towards Kenny, "Well- uh yeah I guess it would be nice to get to sleep in my bed." tilting his head up to look at Cartman who was sitting on said bed.

Cartman furrowed his brow, "You seemed pretty comfy using me as a pillow, bitch."

"Well, now I want my actual pillow." Stan sat up, using Cartman's knees as leverage to stand, "Is that a crime? Kyle?"

"Uh…" Kyle's mind was still hazy with weed, and inside he didn't want anyone to go home. "Yea I guess it would be best. It is after all," He fumbles his phone out of his pocket, "Oof, 4:30."

Kenny shot up, "Oh damn! I have an 8 am. How did this happen?"

Cartman followed in standing, making and maintaining eye contact with Kyle as he did, "Amazing what weed and lust will make you do."

Kenny laughed, "Yea lust to fuck you over in Mario games. C'mon dude, let's head out. Let these guys get good rest."

"Yea, yea, yea." Cartman stretched, his shirt lifting to reveal his stomach, "We'll see you guys tomorrow- or today."

Stan, and Kyle who was still sitting, watch as their friends exit their dorm, the fluorescent hall lights briefly shining in.


"What a night huh?" Kenny lifted his hood over his head and shoved his hands into his pockets as he and Cartman entered the cold morning.

"Yea. I'm absolutely zooted, I'm about to get the best sleep, and when I wake up it's straight to the dining hall for those deliciously greasy hash browns."

Kenny's mouth watered at the sound of food, "Dude, those hash browns would kill right now."

"I knooow. You wanna join me? I go early."

Kenny's face became pensive, "How early's early?"

"9:30. As soon as brunch opens up. I like to be there first."

"Hmm… I could do that, I get out of class at 9:15 so I could meet you there."

"Sweeet." Cartman smiled, "Well this is me." he had stopped right in front of double doors of a brick three-story building. Cartman successfully got himself a single dorm by complaining about his "social anxieties".

The two boys said their goodbyes and headed their separate ways.


Kyle stared at the ceiling, having only gotten an hour or so of sleep. He couldn't rest for some reason, his mind was too busy buzzing.

"Dude," Kyle called out to Stan. No response, "Dude." He said a little louder, turning his head to see if he was awake. Stan flipped over in response. Grimacing, Kyle checked his phone.

"10:45"

Groaning, Kyle sat up and rubbed his head, feeling groggy from weed and no sleep, "Stan, get up." He threw a pillow at his friend.

"GAH." Stan grabbed it, flopping onto his back, "Whaaat? What do you want?" He violently shoved the pillow into his face.

Glancing back down at his phone, opening up social media, "Did Kenny and Cartman seem flirty last night?"

"Dude" Stan muffled from under the feathers, "They're always flirty, I don't know." He moved the pillow from his face, "Why do you care?"

Kyle's eyes widened as he clicked onto Cartman's Snapchat story, it was a selfie of him and Kenny sharing a plate of at least 10 hashbrowns and a bowl of maple syrup, "Dude they went to the dining hall together. I don't know, it just seems weird. Why didn't they invite us?"

Stan pinched his brow, "Maybe because they knew we would be sleeping?" He had just woken up and was already tired of Kyle's paranoia.

"YOU were sleeping. They know I don't sleep in if I sleep at all." He continued to frantically look at the story, examining each of their facial expressions hoping to find any sign of context.

"Then why didn't you go to the dining hall yourself?" Stan accepted his fate and sat up in his bed, eyes still closed.

Kyle flopped back onto his bed, however, "Cause I haven't been hungry."

There was a moment of silence, Stan sat dumbfounded, "Dude- then why are you so worried about this?"

"Because dude!" Kyle sprung up onto his feet now pacing, "Because it's the principle of it- like we welcome them into our room, they smoke my weed, play YOUR games and they don't even invite us to breakfast?!"

"It's the dining hall, Kyle. It's not like Cartman is treating Kenny to some fancy breakfast. I don't think it's that deep." Stan watched as Kyle continued to pace, his arms crossed against his chest. Stan let out a sigh, "I'm sure they're still there, we can go meet them if you want."

"No." Kyle groaned, "This was posted like an hour ago, they're probably gone by now."

Stan rolled his eyes, standing up and walking over to his friend, "Then let's go for ourselves. I'm starving." He placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, hoping to help.

Kyle shrugged it off, "What's the point? I'm not hungry anyway."

"Dude-" Stan took another calming breath, "Come on, yes you are. Let's go."

Kyle turns to look at Stan, they hold each other's gaze, Kyle's furrowed brow eventually relaxes and he sighs, scratching his neck, "Yeah, dude, you're right. I could eat a cow."

Stan chuckled, "Is that kosher?"

His roommate couldn't help but laugh at that, finally loosening up, "At this point who cares?"

The two shared a smile and a fist bump before slipping on their shoes and walking out the door.


Entering the barebones dining hall Stan and Kyle quickly walk over to the hot food line.

"They better still have brunch out" Stan craned his neck, peering past a wall of people.

"Well if you weren't too busy sleeping we could have gotten here earlier." Kyle teased.

"Whatever, dude. Sleep is worth it."

Kyle shook his head, then suddenly Stan shot up on his toes.

"Dude! They still have french toast sticks!"

"I don't think I've ever seen a 20-year-old be so excited for processed breakfast foods."

Stan elbowed Kyle's side, "You know they're your favorite too."

The two shared a laugh as they hungrily waited for their turn to get a portion. Once they had both gotten their share they headed into a sea of tables and students, looking for a place to sit when suddenly;

"AY! DUDES!" An obnoxiously loud voice called out from across the room. They both snap their heads towards the sound, a smile instinctually growing on Kyle's face. Cartman was standing up, across from Kenny, waving his arm fervently.

Kyle's shoulders relaxed, feeling warmth wash over him, "Oh look."

"See, dude, I knew they'd still be here." Stan started heading towards their friends, "You really need to chill out sometimes."

"You're right." Kyle sighed, still keeping his eyes on Cartman as he followed after.

"Sup guys." Kenny greeted, looking up but averting his eyes. He seems strangely bashful.

"Kenny, how was class?" Stan sat down next to the blonde, "I hope waking up wasn't a bitch."

"Oh ya know," Kenny shifted in his seat as Stan sat, "I don't even think I slept. I just chugged like two monsters."

Kyle winced at that, "Two? Dude, you're gonna get a heart attack." He took a seat next to Cartman, across from Stan.

"Oh boy," Cartman chimed in, his voice laced in sarcasm, "Here comes Dr. Kyle to lecture us all."

"Don't even get me started on you fatass, I saw your story. That bowl of syrup alone is enough to send 10 Scott Malkinsons into diabetic shock." Kyle spoke with more venom than he anticipated.

"Geez Kyle, I didn't expect you to pay attention to what I post this much."

Stan laughed out loud, opening his mouth to speak when Kyle snapped his head towards him, shooting daggers with his eyes. Stan quickly closed his mouth, letting his laughter die down.

Cartman and Kenny exchanged confused glances between one another, "What's so funny?" Eric spoke up.

Stan shook his head, "Nothing, nothing. Just something funny Kyle did this morning."

Cartman chuckled, "When's Kyle not doing something funny?" This was met by a glare from Kyle, "So how did you guys sleep?"

"Like a baby." Stan stuffed his face with french toast, "Well, until Kyle threw a pillow at me."

"It was nearly 11!" Kyle defended, "I wish I could sleep like that. I only got an hour."

"So were you up this whole morning?" Kenny inquired.

Kyle shrugged, "I guess so."

"Well damn." Cartman grabbed a toast stick off of the gingers plate, "If we knew we would have invited you to hash browns. Unless of course, you don't want to give yourself diabetic shock."

Kyle wasn't sure if he should feel flattered or insulted by what Cartman just said, before he could come up with which response to go with, Cartman interjected again, "Well I'm gonna get more food. Stan, want to come with?"

"Oh," Both Stan and Kyle sat confused for a moment, "Sure dude- I could use some more toast." The two then got up and headed back towards the hot food line.

"So Stan," Cartman started, his hands shoved into his pockets, "You're not seeing anyone right now, yea?"

Stan's eyes darted to Eric's face, he wasn't making eye contact with him and looked visibly uncomfortable, "Uh… yea? I mean- no. Like, no I'm not... Why?"

Cartman shrugged, "I just was curious. So what kinds of things are you into? Like, date-wise. What's a good date?"

Stan couldn't help but awkwardly laugh, "Dude why are you asking me this?"

"Oh, I'm not allowed to ask questions!? What if I just need some dating advice?!"

Stan rose his shoulders in surrender, "Whatever, dude, no need to get defensive."

As they each placed more food on their respective plates they did so in silence.

"So?"

"So?" Stan repeated.

"You didn't answer my question."

Stan stiffened again, "Oh. I guess I like sitting by the pond? I don't know, something where we can just sit and talk. Maybe feed some ducks."

He turned to gauge Cartman's reaction to that, Eric only was nodding along, "Gay. But that's nice I guess."

"Well!" Embarrassment rose to Stan's face, "What date stuff do you like?"

Cartman laughed, "Not gay stuff I'll tell you that. But, like I said I don't even know, that's why I asked."

Stan nodded, "Uh-huh. Sure."

They reached their friends back at the table, both taking their seats. Kyle eyes the french toast sticks on Cartman's plate and snatches one, "This is payback." He waves the stick in his face and takes an aggressive bite.

"Geez Kyle, someone's got anger issues."

"No I do not!" they all froze for a moment, letting Kyle sit with his response. He dropped his shoulders and responded, "I'm working on it."

"Sure Kyle, just like I'm "working" on losing 50 pounds." He smirked at the red-faced ginger. Kyle's face contorted into a grimace.

Throughout the rest of the meal, Kyle avoided Cartman's eyes, instead focusing on Kenny, who has opened up more since they first sat down, occasionally bumping elbows with Stan. Strangely, as Kyle notices, Kenny's eyes remain mostly focused on Cartman's throughout the meal, no matter who he was talking to.

Maybe it's just because Cartman is directly in front of him? Kyle pondered as his mind began to collect any evidence of context, he would inevitably spend way too much time analyzing this later.

Meanwhile, Stan couldn't help but notice the number of times he would look up and Cartman's eyes would meet his. He was starting to get suspicious. Has Cartman always been this flirty? Maybe this is what Kyle meant this morning? Stan hated sustained eye contact, darting his eyes away the second he locked his with Eric's.

Suddenly Stan felt a light tap at his feet, someone resting their foot against his, his eyes widened as he felt compelled to glance under the table. He did not dare to, fearing it was Eric's foot, and not knowing what to do if it was. This started causing Stan to follow in his paranoid roommates' footsteps and overanalyze every interaction.


Stan and Kyle return to their dorm, they walk in an eerie silence.

"So…" Kyle coughed, "I think I'm going to head to the library to get some work done?"

"Oh, yea? Okay. I'm probably just going to hang out in the room, maybe nap."

"Dude, more sleep?"

"You're not my dad, lay off."

"Geez," Kyle raised his hands in defense, "Someone's on edge. I just thought it was funny."

"Well, not everything is funny Kyle, god." Stan stirred, his mind was racing with anxiety and guilt, he didn't know what to do about Cartman. He knew Kyle had a thing for Cartman, he wasn't sure how to handle it without upsetting both of them. All he wanted was to sleep away the worry.

"Well, fine. Maybe you do need a nap if you're going to be a big baby."

Stan balled his fists, "Dude- fucking not now. Alright? Just go do your work."

Kyle stared at Stan in a moment of disbelief, "Now you're the boss of me? Why are you being a dick right now?"

"Oh, I'M being a dick? What about this morning Kyle? Or what about every time you've saddled your emotional baggage onto me?"

"Well, I'm SORRY that I go to my BEST FRIEND for comfort sometimes. Where this is coming from, what the fuck did I even do!?"

"Fucking, NOTHING, dude!" Stan spat, "I just don't need the responsibility of your emotions right now."

"You are NOT responsible for my emotions, Stan. What the fuck are you even talking about?" Kyle spoke with genuine confusion, laced with venom.

Stan stopped and whipped around to face Kyle, "Fucking hop off my back, dude!"

"You were the one getting pissy with me, dumbass! I'm allowed to fucking ask about it!" Kyle nearly pushed Stan but stopped himself, "Ya know what? Fine. I'll fucking go. You need to chill out. I don't know what I did, or what the fuck is going on in your mind right now but you don't get to act like this to me with no explanation. I'm under enough stress."

Stan watched as Kyle stormed off towards the library, "Fuck you, I'm stressed too!" Stan yelled after him, Kyle flipped the bird in response, not bothering to turn around.

After a moment when Stan realized Kyle wasn't coming back, he let go, pinching his brow, "Why the fuck did I do that?" he sighed to himself.


Kyle entered the library still steaming, he looked around in frustration for a table to work at.

As he searched he spotted Kenny and Cartman, sitting on a couch towards the back of the room, the two were facing each other, but not so close. Cartman's arm was resting on the back of the couch, however, extended towards Kenny.

Kyle's anger sparked into a blaze, jealousy fueling it. He looked for a path to sneak over there, taking off his iconic green hat to avoid being spotted. He noticed an empty couch right against the back of the one Cartman and Kenny sat at. The ginger made a beeline for the spot, moving as inconspicuously as possible before sliding in front of the couch onto the floor.

Now, laying on the floor, Kyle began to listen in to what the two boys were talking about.

"Something gay about sitting by a pond?" Cartman groaned.

"Is that all you remember?" Kenny sounded annoyed, Sitting by a pond? Are they planning a date? Of course, Cartman wouldn't remember any date ideas.

"Ken, dude, I think sometimes you ask too much of me." Pfft. Asshole. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Should I just do it now?" Kenny's tone changed.

"Yea, go for it. I don't think he's going to say no." He's…? Do they have a third..?

"How does this sound," Kenny takes a pause, assumingly preparing to read something he's reading. Suddenly, Kyle gets a text from Stan.

"Hey dude. Sorry about that, I guess I'll come clean and let you know. I was getting some flirty vibes from Cartman and I know you kinda have a thing for him and I didn't know how to handle it."

Kyle's eyes widened and his heart drops, suddenly he hears Kenny begin to speak, "Hey Stan, I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?"

Kyle's heart then began to burn, What the fuck!? Stan is going to be in a fucking thruple?! He even admitted he knows I like that fat bitch! Wait- what. Kyle's face flushed as he realized that's why he's been so obsessive. He actually has feelings for Eric Cartman. And Stan fucking figured it out before me?!

Kyle groaned in frustration, out of instinct, clasping his hands over his mouth.

"Oh hey, Khal." Cartman's cheeky voice rang. He glanced up from his position against the couch meeting Eric's eyes and seeing his smug smirk, "Why are you stalking me?"

Kyle stood up, stuttering, "W-what? Who said I was stalking you? What if I was stalking Ken-" Kyle then realized Kenny was no longer around, "Where's Kenny?" Confusion taking over Kyle.

"He ran off. Got a text from Stan." Cartman explained, sitting back down, "Join me, Khal?"

Kyle scoffed, "Like hell, I will. You're an asshole you know that?" He began to walk around to Cartman's side of the couch.

"What'd I do this time?" His tone was that of genuine concern and confusion rather than sarcasm.

Flabbergasted, Kyle turned away in a huff and stormed out of the library.

"Kyle!"

"-Pulling me along like that. Don't play dumb fatass!"

"SHHH!" A lady at the front desk angrily shushed the two boys. They continued their chase towards the exit.


Stan fumbled with his key card, opening the door to his dorm with a grunt.

"Why do you have to fuck everything up, Stan?" He groaned to himself, kicking the door shut. He flopped onto his bed, letting himself sit in the abyss of his thoughts.

He pulled out his phone and stared at the lock screen, "I should text someone… Kyle? Maybe. Apologize at least. Maybe that'll make me feel better."

Stan opened up his messenger app and began writing a text out to Kyle. "Send."

Flopping back onto his bed he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yea that didn't work." Flipping over onto his stomach, burying his face into the mattress. After another moment he glanced at his phone again, "Who can I talk to about this?" He scrolled through his contacts.

"Kenny." Stan shot back up, "Kenny! Perfect. He's perfect." He quickly got to writing out a text,

"Hey Ken. I could really use your company. You free to hang out rn? My place?"

"Oh god, why did I send that?" Stan immediately felt a dip in his stomach. Before any more anxious thoughts could rack his brain he heard a familiar ding;

"Hey! Yes I'll be right over B)"

Stan couldn't help but smile at his phone, Kenny and I rarely hang out alone, it'll be nice to chill with just us, and get some advice on this…

Before too long Stan heard a knock on his door, springing up to welcome in his friend, "Hey, Kenny." Stan immediately went in for a hug, letting himself rest his head against Kenny's shoulder.

"Hey, Stan." Kenny gingerly wrapped his arms around Stan, not expecting him to be in this disheveled state, "Is everything alright?"

Stan let out a long sigh, releasing himself from Kenny and shutting the door behind him, "I don't know Ken. I just lashed out at Kyle."

Kenny watched as Stan walked over to his bed, but then sunk to the floor, "What happened?" He followed after and sat next to him.

"I- I think Cartman has a crush on me?" Stan rubbed the back of his neck.

"O-oh." Kenny's heart sunk a little bit, "Do you like him?"

Stan sprung forward, sitting straight up, "God no!" he sank back down, "But Kyle does? So that's been confusing because. You know them. I tell Cartman I'm not interested and he'll get all pissy, but if I don't say anything and ignore it Kyle will get pissy!"

Kenny started to laugh, Stan joining in, "Like- why do we have to have such temperamental friends right?" he continued, "Why can't they just be chill like us?"

Stan reached his hand out and placed it on Kenny's knee. Kenny's breath suddenly stopped and his face began to flush, "Stan, I have some good news."

"What's that?" his hand didn't move from Kenny's knee.

Kenny began to fluster and he had trouble keeping eye contact, "Well, Cartman doesn't have a crush on you… I do." Finally, he was able to meet Stan's eyes, which had widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Y-you?" Stan muttered, clenching the hand touching Kenny.

He nodded in response, "Y-yea. I um, I had Cartman be my wingman. I asked him to talk to you for me."

"Well, he did a bad job if he was supposed to turn me to you." Stan chuckled, stopping as he saw Kenny recoil, "No- no! Not in that way- God. I mean because I thought he was coming onto me." Stan reached to grab Kenny's hands, "I'm not opposed to you liking me, Kenny."

Now Stan was the one who could not maintain eye contact, "I'm sorry- now I feel stupid for calling you over here. I guess living with Kyle has made me paranoid." he chuckled.

Kenny squeezed Stan's hands, "I'm glad you called me over, Stan." They found each other's eyes, holding a soft gaze where neither of them could stop smiling, "I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" Stan's eyes glimmered with hope.

"Why don't we go sit by the pond? Feed some ducks?"

"I think that sounds like an amazing idea." Stan and Kenny then embraced, taking the other in, holding on for as long as they could.


Outside the library and towards a more private corner, Kyle whipped around to face Cartman, who was only staring back in perplexity.

Heat burned Kyle's face, he scrubbed at it to try and hide the red, "Don't make me fucking say it asshole! You know what I'm talking about."

"No, Kyle. I actually do not." Eric deadpanned in response. After a moment Cartman placed his hands on his hips, "Can you please educate me on what I did? Instead of storming off like a bitch?" His tone, despite the name-calling and it being laced with sarcasm, was of genuine concern.

Kyle squeezed his eyes shut, took a breath, lowered his hands, and, "The- the flirting…" He pushed it out between gritted teeth, "The- way. We've- you've been flirting with me." Kyle finally opened his eyes to try and see Cartman's reaction.

Kyle wasn't sure what to expect, it certainly wasn't what he saw. There Cartman stood, hands now lowered to his sides, pink face and eyes averted towards the ground, "Oh. Um," Cartman had been caught and he was never one to admit how he felt out loud.

"I'm flirty, Khal, I can't help if you get charmed by me." Kyle's eyes widened, "-Does it make you uncomfortable?"

Kyle rolled his eyes in response, "So you admit you've been flirting with me?"

"Uh- yeah. I think I just did." Cartman's laugh was a desperate attempt at avoiding a vulnerable conversation.

The ginger shifted back into anger, "So then what the hell, dude?! Why the fuck are you flirting with me when you're with Kenny?!"

Cartman could not comprehend what he just heard, he only could laugh.

"It's not FUNNY asshole! You're basically cheating!"

Cartman continued to laugh, bending over, clutching his stomach.

"Fucking say something!" Kyle reached out and shoved Cartman.

As Kyle's hand pushed against Cartman's chest, Eric grabbed onto his hand and held it as he finished his laugh, "Khal. Khal, oh my sweet little firefly-"

Kyle yanked back his hand, "Don't get me started on this thruple bullshit-"

"Kenny and I are not dating."

The red returned to Kyle's face, "What?! But- but you-"

"I told you, I'm flirty. Kenny happens to be flirty back." Cartman was now studying Kyle's face, trying to understand why in the hell he would care about this. As he looked at Kyle's flushed face, his arms crossed across his chest squeezing tight for dear life, he realized, "Kyle? Are you… Jealous?"

Kyle opened his mouth to speak as he watched a grin grow on Eric's face, "I'm not jealous. I'm upset now because- Because then do you just not care!?"

"Care? Kyle, what the fuck are you talking about?" Cartman dropped to a more serious timbre.

"Do you not care about my feelings? About Kenny's? Stan's?! You're just messing with us, making us that you're into us like that and then leaving us to deal with it!"

They stared in silence for a moment, "Kyle." Cartman's voice was soft, he extended a hand to him, "I want to help."

Kyle stared at his gloved hand, cautiously taking it, "But-" Cartman continued, squeezing his hand, "I can't do that if you don't tell me what exactly you're upset about. Do I look like I understand a clue of what you're saying? Do you think I like Stan and Kenny?"

"That's what it seems like." Kyle broke his hand away.

"Kyle, Dude, I see where you messed up here. Kenny and I are not dating." He laughed, "I'm his wingman. He's got a thing for Stan and I've been interrogating him for Kenny."

"Stan?" Kyle was surprised, "I guess that explains that…"

After another moment of silence, their eyes staring into each other, Kyle began speaking, "Cartman. As much as it pains me to say this. I like that you flirt with me. It makes me feel, special, and I think that I like that you make me feel special."

He paused, checking to see if Cartman had any issue with what he's said so far, none yet, "BUT. When you flirt with Kenny… It makes me wonder if that makes him feel special. And since he flirts back, and you guys seem to spend a lot of time alone I figured- I guess you guys… make each other feel special."

"And you-" interrupted Cartman, "want me to only make you feel special?"

Kyle couldn't respond, so Eric continued, a flirty grin growing on his face, "Do you want to make me feel special?"

Kyle's quick turn of his head told him all he needs to know, "Ya know, Khal, I like making you feel special too." Eric took a step forward, turning Kyle's face towards his, "And…"

Kyle's heart was racing as Cartman placed his lips inches away from his own, "You know what would make me feel special?"

"Wh-what?"

"If you gave me a kiss."

Kyle let out a small gasp, his heart skipping every beat. He didn't hesitate a second longer, immediately closing the gap between the two. The two boys sank into each other, wrapping their arms around each other, neither wanting to let go.