"Ed vs Maes Round 3: Name-calling"

by: Chibi Viki

Ed grunted miserably as he, his brother Al and Winry made their way around Central HQ unto the Lt. General's office. Their presence had been "requested" by the Lt. General, and by request it meant being forced out of the hotel they were staying in, shoved into a state issued vehicle, and made to rush through the confusing corridors of the main military base.

Upon entering the office, they were greeted by the laughter and awe of familiar faces.

And it soon dawned upon them why they were called that day… it was all because of Maes.

Standing in the middle of the room was Lt. Gen. Roy Mustang, with his son in his arms, and his wife, Riza, by his side. His subordinates, and now close friends: Farman, Havoc, Bruda and Fuery, surrounded them.

"Ah, so this is what the 'huge' emergency was all about", said Ed, as he stood by the doorway with hands crossed on his chest.

"Oh, it's you Hagane… tardy as always", Roy chided with a hint of amusement.

"WHAT DID YOU---" before Ed could finish his sentence, Al cut him off, "Sir, why did you call for us?"

Roy smiled and held his son proudly against his chest, "Maes has finally learned new words – or rather, has learned to call everyone by name". Turning to his son, he pointed at himself and asked in a cooing tone, "Maes, what's my name, son?"

Making a grab for his father's face, Maes replied, "Pa-pa".

Riza smiled and pointed at herself, "how about me, Maes?"

Maes stretched his little arms for his mother as he replied, " Ma-ma".

AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW… Everyone smiled at the baby's feat… except for an unimpressed Ed.

"How about me, Maes?", asked Fuery.

"Fuh-ry", Maes replied.

"Hey, how about me?", asked Bruda.

"Bu-we—da"

"And me?", asked Havoc.

"Ha-wok"

"How about me?", said Farman.

"Fa-ma"

Black Hayate made a bark and Maes replied, "Bu-aha" (see A/N)

They all laughed as he got almost everyone's names right.

Curious about the matter, Al approached Maes and pointed at himself, "Do you know who I am?"

Maes giggled in delight, "A-ru"

Al's eyes turned teary, "He knows who I am! That's SO cool!"

"Hey", Winry cried out, "how about me? Do you know who I am?"

There was a pause for a while as little Maes, his hands around his father's neck, gave a thought. Winry's smile slowly faded.

"Wi---ry"

"OH MY GOD!", Winry's eyes widened in surprise as her smile returned to her face,"He knows who I am!"

By now, Edward was curious as well. Although part of him warned him that it was a bad idea, another part of him – the louder, noisier, and dumber side – told him otherwise.

"Hey…", he muttered, "D-do you know… w-who I am?", he asked hesitantly.

Again there was a long pause. But unlike Winry's turn, there was no reply.

"Oh come'on! It's me, Edward Elric!", he cried out in frustration, "You know… Fullmetal Alchemist!"

Again, another long pause.

"Just say, 'Ed-o'", he added.

Maes just stared at him.

"Come'on, say it… E---dd-oooo… EEE-dddooooo".

There was another silence until finally, Maes replied:

"Mame"

Owari

A/N: Aheh, sorry for not writing anything for quite a while. Anyway, the reason why Maes called Black Hayate as "Bu-aha" is because Riza's nickname for her dog is "Buraha"… basically, Maes just took out the "r".

Mame (pronounced as Mah-me) is Japanese for "Bean"… another one of Ed's least favorite words.