Author: Welcome back everybody! Did everyone enjoy the first chapter?
Wow that's great now here is the next one!
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord Of The Rings. Once again that belongs to Tolkien. If it were mine I wouldn't be doing this piece of crap.
Author: Well said.
Disclaimer: Thank you.
Author: Onwards, with the story.
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Two days had passed since Mary Sue's death. Legolas walked into the gardens and sat on the bench. He then looked at Mary Sue's grave. Her grave said: Herby lies:
MarySueMaryJaneStarWildfireMoonbeamRobinRenRainbowYoMamaMichealJackson Smith let's call her Mary Sue rest in perfect peace.
Born?
Died: March 15th 2006.
This made Legolas start to sob. " I can't believe that Mary Sue died!'' We were going to get married and now she's gone! I am going to find out who committed this horrible crime and they shall pay for it!'' Poor Legolas. He was dealing with this the worst. Aragorn was walking by and saw Legolas alone by himself. Aragorn decided to go outside and comfort Legolas.
" Hey buddy what is up?'' Aragorn asked.
" What do you think is up? I'll tell you Mary Sue!''
" Hey man I'm just trying to be nice.''
"Your right,'' Legolas said getting up and walked over to Aragorn. " I can't believe that Mary Sue is dead.''
" Gee I agree with you Legolas.'' Aragorn said sarcastically. Aragorn and the others didn't like Mary Sue. Mary Sue was so dam perfect and she annoyed the heck out of him. He really couldn't care less if she died. Besides he thought Mary Sues are out to destroy the Earth by showing up in Middle Earth randomly and trying to manipulate one of us by falling in love with them. Legolas was roped into this and now he understood what can happen if he falls in love with a Mary Sue. Aragorn understood everything about Mary Sues and there wickedness. They all started by a stupid author who thought it would be funny if a girl who was perfect came to Middle Earth and made one of the characters fall in love with her and mess up Middle Earth. Aragorn decided that he might as well write a book. The title shall be called: Mary Sues the Killers. Aragorn then said out loud:
" Legolas, at least Mary Sue is up in the sky watching over you and us. She wouldn't want us to be moody all the time.''
" How can I be not moody?'' Legolas sniffed. " I lost the love of my life!''
" Leg, would Mary Sue want you to be moody?''
" No.''
" Then don't be!''
" Aragorn I can't.''
" Alright fine.'' Aragorn said having enough. Aragorn then walked inside.
" Hey Strider, what's wrong with Legolas?'' Frodo asked.
" You know, Legolas is still crying over Mary Sue. She was such a twit.''
" I know,'' Frodo said simply. " I don't like her either but we have to be there for Legolas when he needs us.''
" Oh sure thing Dr. Phil!'' Aragorn replied huffily and walked away. Aragorn was pissed. He walked past Gandalf who was doing some magic stuff but Aragorn ignored him. He walked into his room and jumped onto his bed. " Hey God it's me Aragorn. These past few days have been a living hell and Legolas has been driving me insane! God what can I do to make things interesting?'' Aragorn became very tired all of a sudden. He crawled into to the covers and fell asleep.
Meanwhile, Legolas went inside. He decided to take a shower so he would feel better. While he was getting undressed he wondered why Aragorn was being such a prick? Aragorn and Legolas were buddies; he couldn't understand why Aragorn was not being supportive.
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A shadow watched Legolas getting ready to go into the shower. The shadow was happy. " Yes I killed Mary Sue so far this plan is a success. I have to now kill everyone that are involved with Mary Sues." The shadow then laughed evilly.
" But wait I need a plan. How do I kill them?'' The shadow thought and racked his brain for an idea. The shadow thought of an idea and was psyched to perform it.
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Later that night, everyone in the house was asleep in his bed But, not everyone that were outside were not. The shadow crept along in the garden being careful where he stepped. His feet were loud and anyone especially the elves could hear the mysterious footsteps. He strapped on bottles of shampoo that contained paint thinner. This was the greatest! "The elf won't have perfect hair any longer!" That is right. The shadow ran through the grass. Now searching for Legolas's room was going to be tough. " If I were an elf where would I be?'' The voice pondered. " I would be near a bathroom right?'' The shadow ran to all sides of the house. Then he stopped. He saw Legolas sleeping peacefully in his bed. The voice looked over and found the bathroom door open. Which was on the other side of the bedroom. Then the shadow ran to the bathroom window and opened the window. He then climbed in gracefully and shut the window. The door was opened so he ran inside too. As he walked in, the shadow was amazed. Legolas had all these kinds of elvish shampoos. " No wonder why he is such a sue.'' The shadow took out the paint thinners and poured out the regular shampoos. Then he took all the bottles and poured the paint thinners into them. Yes! This was great. He thought. He then climbed out the window and disappeared into the darkness.
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The next morning, Legolas woke up all pampered and refreshed. He stretched and yawned figuring that today was going to be a better day. He didn't seem to be depressed about Mary Sue as much as yesterday. Life was better. With that thought he walked into the shower. He undressed and got into the shower. Then he grabbed the "shampoo.'' And spread some on his hair.
Once he was done, Legolas got out of the shower and dried his hair and put on his bathrobe. Legolas walked to the mirror and brushed his hair. He discovered the fact that he had split ends in his hair. Legolas's body went into shock and he fell over and died.
Pippin ran upstairs to go to the bathroom. He had to pee really badly. Once he got upstairs, he felt it dripping in his pants. He than ran to the door and started to bang on the door. " Legolas I know your in there I have to pee!''
Pippin didn't get a response. He then knocked again. " Legolas!'' Then Pippin kicked the door open and saw Legolas laying their dead. Pippin went to Legolas's side and examined him. " Legolas how can you be dead?'' He said. Pippin shouted for the others. Suddenly, the others rushed upstairs and rushed into the bathroom.
" Fool of a Took what was the meaning of interrupting me doing my pointy hat trick?'' Gandalf demanded.
" Legolas is dead.'' Pippin cried.
Gandalf pushed Pippin aside and looked at Legolas. " He isn't breathing that's for one thing.'' Gandalf examined Legolas some more until he reached a conclusion. " Legolas has been sued.''
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Author: Well what do you think now?
Disclaimer: I like this.
Author: At least Aragorn agrees with me with the whole Mary Sue concept.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Author: I know Legolas died. It is sad. But it had to be done. I am sorry to all you Legolas fan girls who want to kill me now. Runs Away Read and review!
