Disclaimer: I own nothing - especially not Harry Potter

A/N: I personally feel bad for any guy that has been in James's situation, just for lack of words.

Happy Reading!


Way One: Show concern for their well being – It sucks them right in. Women like to be waited on – just ask my mother.

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The next week proved to be a slow one for James, and the first step didn't come into play until the following week in Defense Against the Dark Arts class. James had been sitting at the windowsill, chin on hand, staring out the window. Only when his eyes started drooping and his mouth started sliding open did Remus give him a hard poke in the side.

"Gah!" James said loudly, coming back into the present.

Many students turned in their seats to see the reason for the disturbance, and the teacher shot him an icy glare. James merely smiled politely and continued to daydream. His thoughts turned first to his family – his mother had been ill last time he had owled, and he wondered how she was doing. Remus wasn't in the best condition, though he never was, but he seemed to be recuperating well since their last full moon stroll.

James looked over at his friend. Remus was taking notes on nonverbal spells, and the theory of wandless magic. James hoped that Remus would let him copy the notes later; he'd learned a handy spell that copied notes, and then made them into his own handwriting.

Finally James's thoughts turned to a place that did not seem too foreign these days; his thoughts turned to Lily Evans. In the eyes of James Potter, she was just about perfect. She could look after herself, she was smart, and she was good looking. The perfect girl for him.

He shifted slightly in his chair, and stuck a hand in his hair, making it messier than it was before. "Artfully absurd" Sirius called it. Sirius had a similar look, only his hair was longer, less messy, and a tad bit shinier than James's. Sirius was in the hospital wing with a 'bad stomach ache', though James knew that he only wanted to get out of his Transfiguration test. James, however, was brilliant at the subject, and felt in no need to skip a test that he was sure to ace. He looked forward to tutoring Sirius tonight for his makeup test. James loved to teach.

An extremely soft, short grunt of pain and exasperation came to James's ears, and he turned around in his seat to see Lily in the seat behind him, her hand on her lower abdomen, with a pained look on her face. He caught her eye and raised an eyebrow, and she just shook her head and acted as if nothing had happened. He turned back in his seat, his brows furrowed together in thought. Was Lily okay?

He heard the rustling of a bag, the uncapping of a potion, and he heard her drink it down. A pain relieving potion, perhaps? He didn't know. He heard Lily get up from her seat in the last row, walk away, blow her nose, and sit back down.

"Dammit," he heard her say in a harsh, almost inaudible whisper.

James was tempted to turn around again, but he didn't. When the bell rang, he gathered his belongings, but when he looked up, Lily was already out the door.

James shouldered his bag and followed in hot pursuit, Sirius's first step coming to mind.

"Show concern – and wait on her," James summarized to himself as he hurriedly walked down the corridor.

James turned a corner and saw Lily walking down the hall at top speed. He quickened his pace, and as he grew closer, he saw a blotchy red color on Lily's white stocking. His heart raced. Was she hurt?

"Evans!" he called, reaching her, "Hey Evans! Are you alright?"

James matched her pace, and he saw the color in Lily's face flush.

"I'm fine, Potter, I don't know what you're talking about," she replied quickly, tightening her hold on her shoulder bag.

"You're bleeding!" he hissed to her, "are you okay? I saw that you were in pain before, and I heard you take a pain relieving potion."

He grabbed her wrist.

"Come on; let's go to the Hospital wing. I'm sure Madam Veltry will be able to help you! Here, let me take this book for you!" he added, snatching a book out of Lily's hand.

James started for the infirmary, but Lily pulled him back.

"Potter! Listen to me!" she said, her green eyes wild with frustration and her face almost as red as her hair.

James stopped moving and stood rooted on the spot. She wrenched her wrist out of his grasp and stared up at him.

"I am fine! There is nothing wrong with me, everything is completely normal. It's all normal." She said through gritted teeth.

James paled as he realized what she was talking about.

"Oh! I- uh, well… sorry, I didn't, I mean…" James stuttered, unable to say anything Potter-like.

Lily wheeled around and headed for the bathroom, tugging at the hem of her robe to make it cover her stocking. She didn't look back.

James hit himself in the forehead and headed back to the common room to beat the hell out of Sirius.

Sirius lay on his four-poster, laughing.

"James you thickhead!" Sirius exclaimed, absolutely howling, "You're messing with forces beyond male control!"

James reddened and hit Sirius with a pillow. Sirius fell to the floor and attempted to catch his breath. Though James was still mortified at the experience, he couldn't help but crack a smile. Remus shook his head, picked up a book and muttered something that sounded like, "Women".

James climbed back into his four poster once Sirius had calmed down, and was about to shut the hanging when –

"Augh! I forgot my report in the common room!"

James sighed, climbed out of bed, and shuffled down the stairs. Once he came into the common room, his stomach gave a swooping sensation, and he wished he were invisible. Sitting in front of the fire was Lily, accompanied by her friends. Lily looked stunning in a pair of sweats, James decided upon seeing her. She was wearing maroon sweats that clashed magnificently with her hair, which was pulled back into a high ponytail. One of Lily's friend, Madeline Bones, spotted James, then giggled and nudged Lily. Lily looked up, saw James, and her face reddened.

James felt his legs turn to lead, and he stood, the two of them staring at each other, apparently embarrassed. He managed to force a smile, and to his surprise, she smiled weakly back. James felt his insides melt.

Realizing that several girls were watching him expectantly, he rumpled his hair, grabbed his essay, and quickly ran back up the stairs. When he closed the door to the seventh year boy's dormitory, he smiled to himself and climbed into bed. He pulled the hangings around the four-poster without a word to the other boys that were watching him, and took out the list from under his pillow. James reached out of the hangings and grabbed a quill that was beside his bed on a table. He took the quill and brutally scratched out the first piece of advice.

After deciding that the writing was pulverized enough, he dropped the quill and stuffed the list back under his pillow. When he closed his eyes, he saw in his mind Lily's eyes staring back at him, a sheepish grin upon her face. James smiled and he fell asleep.

In his eyes, the otherwise humiliating day had been compensated by a mere smile.


A/N: End chapter... next one coming asap. Reviews are appreciated and encouraging!