Author: Hi everybody! Deaths and more deaths have happened. This story is getting closer to finding out the killer. Keep reading! Disclaimer, do your thing!
Disclaimer: Author does not own Lord Of The Rings. If she did, she wouldn't be writing this story. That's it I'm getting out of here. Also, the Author does not own " Another One Bites The Dust.'' Now I must go because I have a life to lead.
Author: Shut up! Please review! Does anyone know what the Monty Python references were in the previous chapter? If you do, you get a cookie. Now let's go to the story.
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Boromir was buried along with everyone else. The afternoon went by with sorrow and loss of hope. Faramir started to cry deeply. Faramir sat next to Boromir's grave and wept until he could not weep any longer.
" Why did Boromir have to die?'' Faramir screamed shaking his fist at God.
" What did Boromir ever do to you? Father is going to hate me a lot worst than he hated me before.''
Gandalf came outside and saw Faramir cursing at God. " Faramir, why are you cursing at the Lord?''
" Boromir is dead and it's the Lord's fault for neglecting him.''
" No it isn't.''
" Since when have you been Mr. Priest?''
" Never.''
Faramir stood up and waltzed away slowly. He kept his head turned and walked into a tree.
" Owww.'' Faramir rubbed his head then danced inside.
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The afternoon then turned into darkness. The shadow hid in the cave he lived. He needed to kill more people in Middle Earth that are sued a lot in fan fiction stories. The shadow looked over at a fire blazing nearby and got an idea. " What if I set them on fire?'' The shadow then walked away with an evil grin on his face.
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Gimli was outside in the dark sitting by the fire. It was so cold out but it didn't bother Gimli. At least it was what he thought. Gimli took out his ax and chopped the trees. " It's fun to chop down trees.'' " I wonder what it's like to be a lumberjack.'' " I never wanted to be involved in a battle for Middle Earth. I want to be a… lumberjack!''
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay,
I sleep all
night and I work all day.
Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's
okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down
trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go
shopping
And have buttered scones for tea.
Mounties: He
cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatory.
On
Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for
tea.
Chorus: He's a lumberjack and he's okay,
He sleeps all
night and he works all day.
I cut down trees, I skip and
jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's
clothing,
And hang around in bars.
Mounties: He cuts down
trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He
puts on women's clothing,
And hangs around in bars.
Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works
all day.
I cut down trees; I wear high heels,
Suspendies
and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear
pappa.
Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high
heels?
Suspendies...and a bra?
...he's a lumberjack and
he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
...he's
a lumberjack and he's OKAAAAAAAAAAYYY.
He sleeps all night and he
works all day
" Yes that is the life for me.'' Gimli sighed then put out the fire and went inside.
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The next day, Faramir awoke to a beautiful day. Faramir then got up and jumped out the window. Faramir landed on a chair and his ass caught on fire. The chair was on fire and now Faramir's ass caught on fire too.
" Crap my ass is on fire!'' Faramir shouted.
Faramir kept on shouting but Gandalf and Gimli did not appear. An hour later he was completely on fire and Gandalf and Gimli came out like nothing was happening. Gimli then ran to fetch water and Gandalf calmed down well at least tried to calm down Faramir. Faramir's body was so burned that he fell over and died. A few seconds later Gimli came back with the water and splashed it over him.
" Holy molly, Faramir is dead.'' Gandalf cried in despair. " Faramir has been sued.''
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The shadow watched the whole scene and laughed manically. " This is so great! Now I'm off to be a show girl at Casers Palace bye!'' The shadow then left.
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Author: Well Faramir is gone now. Will Gandalf and Gimli be killed too stay tuned for more? I do not own the Lumberjack Song. Obviously. Stay tuned! Read and Review! Does anyone know the Monty Python References in Chapter 5? I'll give you a cookie.
