Author: Hi everyone! I am very sorry that I haven't been attending to A Mary Sue Murder in a while. I had major writers block lately. I bet all you readers are dying to know who killed Mary Sue and the others. You will find out in this chapter as the final chapter. If you haven't read the whole thing I suggest you go back and do so. Here is Disclaimer to tell you the usual piece of shit.

Disclaimer: Thank you Author. For today's usual piece of shit, once again Author does not own Lord Of The Rings. If she did, she wouldn't be writing this piece of crap. It would be amazing if Tolkien rose from the dead and gave her copyrights and other stuff. Obviously that will never happen. Back to you Author.

Author: Thank you Disclaimer for informing us on today's usual piece of shit. Time for the story!

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" Wow,'' Gandalf said to Gimli. " I never thought you could keep your beard that long.''

" Well,'' Gimli replied being husky. " This beard has been very kind to me these two hundred years.''

" I know.''

Gandalf and Gimli were bored out of their minds. Since everyone was dead and Elrond was away in Lothlorien dealing with business matters, they couldn't annoy anyone anymore. What were they to do? Could they talk about Gimli's beard? No they couldn't!

" Hey Gimli we have to talk.'' Gandalf held his head high.

" What about?'' Gimli stopped playing with his beard.

" Who is the killer?''

" I don't know.''

" Someone detested Mary Sue and the others and wanted them killed for good.''

" But for what reason?''

" Who knows.''

" Gimli, you and myself have to go on a mission to find the culprit.'' Gandalf said.

" I'm sorry Gandalf but I have to be frank with you,'' Gimli replied frankly. " We don't have any evidence. There are no clues at all. What are we supposed to do?''

" Absolutely nothing!''

" Yeah you old goat! Let's just sit here and wait for him to come. Smart!'' Gimli goaded Gandalf.

" Then what shall we do Master Dwarf since you think you are so clever at these things?'' Gandalf rose from his chair angrily.

Gimli sat down in a chair and crossed his legs. Should they just go out and search for the murderer or wait for culprit to come to them?

" Look Gandalf, maybe there is nothing we can do. The killer didn't leave any footprints, which is weird. What choice is there?''

Gandalf's face softened and paced around the room. He constantly stroked his beard while he was in thought. " We could…………… oh never mind forget it.''

" Forget what?''

" Oh nothing. It's no good use anyway. Unless we could…………… oh bloody hell that's useless.''

" Gandalf stop playing games with me and tell me what you have in mind!'' Gimli yelled being exasperated.

For an hour Gandalf paced around the room coming up with an idea and then dismissing it.

" Gandalf we don't have much time!''

" Then you figure it out then smartass!''

" I would but I'm not that smart.''

" You stupid dwarf stop complaining about my ideas. If you hate them, then come up with something better! If you can't then shut the hell up!''

" Ideas? Ideas,'' Gimli said as his anger towards Gandalf rose and his face was red as a tomato. " You haven't come up with any ideas! We haven't done anything!''

" Yes I did. You dismissed them all. I haven't heard any contributions from you at all!''

" STOP BEING SUCH A OLD GOAT! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR ATTITUDE!'' Gimli furiously left the room muttering " Stupid old git!''

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The shadow hid in the cave once more to check out how things were going.

Nothing seemed to be wrong at all. The shadow had the strong feeling that everything was going his way. Everyone that existed on his hit list died. The shadow abandoned the cave. He went out to see how the others were grieving for Faramir. The shadow stopped dead by the river because he saw Gimli sitting by the river and made rocks skip across. " I can't take this bullshit anymore. Gandalf is such an old toad. He does nothing!'' Gimli sighed and threw rocks into a ditch.

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Night progressed and Gandalf sat in his chair. He would be usually be smoking a pipe but Pippin stole his pipe. So, he sat in a chair in the sitting room pondering about life, he reminisced about this afternoon with Gimli storming out of the room. Gimli was probably outside in the cold night freezing his ass off. Gandalf wondered if he should go outside and fetch Gimli or stay here thinking about things. A few moments later, Gimli stomped inside and threw off his boots and accidentally threw them into the fireplace. The fireplace exploded all over the room until Gandalf put it out.

" So Master Dwarf, decided to come inside when you were defeated by the cold?'' Gandalf laughed.

" You will be defeated if you don't shut up.'' Gimli said angrily.

Gandalf said nothing and read some manuscripts

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The shadow was trying to sneak into the house. So far, he got to the first step. Eerie music started to play.

" Shut up,'' the shadow yelled. " Can't you tell that I'm trying to be sneaky?''

" Sorry,'' the musician mumbled an apology.

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Gimli and Gandalf eyed each other suspiciously. " I wonder if Gandalf is the killer?'' Gimli thought. " I wonder if Gimli is the killer?'' Gandalf thought.

Gimli got up and Gandalf screamed a girly scream.

" Did you think that I was going to kill you?'' Gimli asked.

" It looked like it.'' Gandalf said.

Gimli and Gandalf argued back and forth. Suddenly, the lights went out which made Gandalf and Gimli jump.

" What's going on?'' Gimli asked being scared.

" I don't know.'' Gandalf asked worriedly.

Gandalf took out a torch and lit it, but the torch blew out.

" Damn it.''

There was a creak in the door and as a shadow walked in holding a gun.

" Who are you? Speak!'' Gandalf demanded.

" Well, you never thought it was me," the killer mocked. You spent all your time fighting each other when all this time it was me! Bill the Pony!''

" Bill the Pony!'' Gandalf and Gimli chorused.

" Bill, why would you commit such an atrocity?'' Gandalf pondered.

" I committed this atrocity because Middle Earth is sick. It is sick with Mary Sues running around and messing up with time. Don't forget about messing up the Fellowship. Yes I was responsible for: MarySueMaryJaneStarWildfireMoonbeamRobinRenRainbowYoMama

MichaelJacksonSmith let's call her Mary Sue's death and the others.

" We understand you killed Mary Sue. No one liked her except Legolas. But, why did you kill the others?''

Bill walked around the room and faced Gandalf and Gimli.

" Why did you kill the others? I'll tell you why. They're the cause of the Mary Sues wandering through Middle Earth."

" You aren't going to tell anyone because I'm going to kill you both.'' Bill raised his gun and aimed at Gandalf and Gimli.

The room turned into darkness again.

The End!

THE END?

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Author: Is it really the end? I'm sorry I took so long to put up this chapter. I've been really busy. But now, you can all be happy that you finally found out who was behind this whole thing. Read and Review! Oh and the answers to what the Monty Python references in Chapter 5 were: Get on with it! Obviously True fans would know this and the other one was: the P.S in the letter. It was the Sorry to mench; if you finished with the lawn edger can you pop it in the post? Well read my other story called: " Oh I'm Here And I'm Queer!''

Disclaimer: For the last time, the Author does not own Lord Of The Rings just Mary Sue. She does not own the " Lumberjack Song." I forgot about Another Bites the Dust. Woooooooooooo! Now I can eat some free food!

Eats some free food.