Chapter Six

Dean slept fitfully, waking up several times in the night after dreams that made him feel claustrophobic. The last time he woke saw him staring at his clock at five-thirty in the morning, so he didn't bother trying to get back to sleep. He got up and dressed, rubbing his eyes that still prickled with tiredness, and wandered downstairs.

Ever the early bird, Mary was already in the kitchen in her dressing gown, sitting at the table with a book and a cup of coffee. She looked up and frowned at Dean as he poured himself a cup and sat heavily at the table.

'You're up early,' she said quietly.

'Couldn't sleep,' Dean mumbled.

Mary reached out and stroked his hair. 'What's wrong, sweetie?'

'I don't feel so good,' he said.

Mary grimaced. 'Do you want to stay home today?'

Dean was sorely tempted, but he eventually shook his head. 'I promised I would do better this year, and besides, I don't want to ditch Cas again.'

Mary gave him a tight hug. 'That's my Deano.'

Just then, Cas shuffled into the kitchen looking disheveled, with heavy bags under his eyes.

'Morning, Cas,' Mary said, 'everything all right?'

'You were talking in your sleep,' Cas said to Dean, grabbing his own cup of coffee.

'Oh, sorry,' said Dean. 'What did I say?'

'Nothing that made any sense.' Cas leaned against the counter, slowly sipping his coffee.

Dean again considered skipping school, and forced himself to drink his coffee and put his mind back on track.

'Who wants breakfast?' Mary said brightly, trying to break the tense silence.

'I'm not hungry,' Dean mumbled.

Mary's face fell until Cas said, 'I wouldn't mind some.'

'I'll get some pancakes going,' she said, getting up from the table. 'Just let me get dressed, I'll be right back.' She patted Dean's shoulder on her way out.

'What's wrong?' Cas asked quietly once she was gone.

Dean shrugged. 'Just not feeling good today.'

'Is there - is there anything I can do to help?'

'No,' Dean said, but did his best to smile. 'Thanks though.'

Mary returned, fully dressed, and set about cheerfully making breakfast. Dean didn't eat any pancakes, but he did manage to pick at a few of the blueberries Mary was topping them with.

Eventually, though, they had to leave for school. Dean reluctantly picked up his bag and followed Cas out of the door. He didn't say much on the bus, and tried not to think about all the time he'd wasted carefully choosing his classes so he wouldn't have to see Rhonda at all. The sight of her already sitting in homeroom was almost enough to make him turn right around and leave again, but with Cas once again sitting in a seat close to Dean's, he was able to ignore her, focussing on Cas instead. He let out a breath as he sat down, resisting the urge to watch Rhonda, to make sure she didn't move from her seat. The sound of her voice churned his stomach, and he knew the others could tell something was off, but no one wanted to ask him what it was.

Determined as he was to get through the day, Dean only made it to third period. He was late to class after a quick rest stop, and ran right into Rhonda on his way out of the bathroom.

'I hope you washed your hands,' she said, laughing lightly.

Dean's heart leapt to his throat.

'What's the matter?' Rhonda said. 'Do I still take your breath away?' She stepped closer to him, forcing him backwards until he was against the wall, her hand on his chest. 'I thought so,' she smiled. 'You never know, maybe this can happen again. I'd be up for it.'

Dean's jaw clenched.

Rhonda laughed again and finally stepped back. 'See you later, Dean.'

Dean didn't move until she had disappeared around a corner. His knees were shaking, and though he intended on going to his next class, he found himself outside in front of the school, dialling Mary's number.

'Hey, sweetie, is everything okay?' Mary said when she picked.

'Can you - can you come and get me?' Dean said, loathing how small and shaky his voice sounded.

'Yeah, of course I can. Sit tight, I'll be right there.'

Dean sat down on the grass, hugging his bag close to his chest, until Mary pulled up and he climbed into the passenger seat. He didn't speak, he just curled into the door of the car, his legs bouncing anxiously.

'Do you wanna talk about it?' Mary asked.

Dean shook his head firmly, worried that he might throw up if he opened his mouth. Mary tried to put a hand on Dean's knee, but he jerked it away, even the thought of being touched seemed overwhelming.

Dean threw himself out of the car as soon as they arrived home, and retched over the kitchen sink.

'All right, honey,' Mary said softly, hurrying over to stand next to him. 'It's okay.'

He filled a glass of water and gulped it down, his hands shaking. He slammed the glass back down on the counter, very narrowly avoiding smashing it, then sunk to the floor, breathing heavily.

Mary knelt down next to him and waited while he wiped his face and slowed himself down.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, shuffling over and resting his head on her shoulder.

She wrapped an arm around him and shushed him gently. 'It's okay.'

'She - um - she cornered me and…'

'And what?' Mary said, fighting to keep her voice steady.

'She said - she said she wanted to go out again.' Dean's chest constricted. 'I'm sorry, Mom, I tried so hard, and I got through homeroom and everything-'

'Hey, hey,' she said gently, rubbing his shoulder, 'it's okay, you did so well. I'm not mad at you.'

'You're not?' Dean stammered, looking up at her.

'Of course not. I'm proud of you for doing your best, but also for knowing your limits.'

'Really?'

'For sure!' Mary said. 'Now listen, I gotta get up. I'm not as young as you, and my knees hurt.'

Dean gave a weak chuckle, finally calming down.

'What do you want to do now, do you want something to eat?' Mary asked, groaning as she got to her feet.

Dean got up and shook his head. 'I'm just gonna go lay down.'

'All right,' Mary smiled. 'Can I give you a kiss?'

'Yeah.'

Mary reached out and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. 'Go get some rest, honey. I'll keep it quiet down here.'

'Thanks, Mom. You're the best.'

Dean climbed up the stairs, closed all the blinds on his side of the room and pulled the curtain across Cas's, then dug his "I wuv hugs" shirt out of the drawer he'd stashed it in. He kicked off his shoes and crawled all the way under his blankets, holding the shirt close to his chest where it could soothe away the lingering feeling of Rhonda's touch.

Deep in the cocoon he'd made, Dean fell asleep again, but his dreams turned dark and pressed in on him. He felt trapped again, running as fast as he could in his dream but getting nowhere at all, until a hand touched his shoulder.

Dean opened his eyes with a gasp, and yanking his arm away from whoever touched him.

'It's me, it's Cas. You were having a bad dream.'

Dean sat up, staring at him. 'What?' he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. 'Why aren't you at school?' He looked around and saw that he'd kicked off the blankets in his sleep. He was still clutching his shirt in his hand.

Cas gave him a confused look. 'It's four-thirty, Dean.'

'Four-thirty?'

Cas nodded and Dean groaned.

'I only meant to take a nap,' he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. 'Listen, I'm sorry I ditched you again.'

Cas sat down on the edge of the bed. 'You didn't ditch me,' he said firmly. 'You were sick, so you came home.'

'Right.'

'And I wasn't on my own, Crowley was very helpful.'

Dean rolled his eyes. 'Of course he was.'

Cas opened his mouth hesitantly. 'It's that girl, isn't it?' he said tentatively. 'The one with the pink hair.'

Dean flinched, but nodded.

'I gather things didn't go well between you.'

'That's one way to put it.'

Cas grimaced. 'Do you want anything?'

Dean smiled. 'Are you offering to bring me stuff 'cause I'm sick? That's real sweet of you, Cas.'

Cas rolled his eyes. 'Not if you're going to be like that.'

Dean chuckled. 'I'm good, but thanks.'

Cas nodded and got up. 'Your mom says dinner's in an hour.' Cas disappeared behind his curtain and Dean rolled out of bed.

He treated himself to a long hot shower, to rid himself of the crawling feeling and sweat all over his skin. A good scrub later, Dean dried his hair just in time for dinner, and sat down at the table next to Cas.

'Why'd you let me sleep all day?' Dean said to Mary.

'Oh, I just couldn't wake you up, you look so cute when you sleep,' Mary said, as she placed the plates on the table.

'Mom,' Dean complained, blushing, and John came in from the garage, mussing Dean's hair as he went.

'Feeling better, kid?' John asked, sitting down.

'Yeah, thanks, Dad.'

'How about you, Sammy, how was your day?'

Sam grinned. 'It was good, Dad.'

John nodded. 'And Cas?'

Cas bit his lip and looked down at his plate.

Mary glanced at John, then tilted her head to try and catch his eye. 'Cas?' she said gently. 'Is there something you want to tell us?'

'It - it's nothing,' Cas said hastily.

'I'm sure it isn't.'

'It's just that - well - they want me to compete. There's a track meet at Eudora next week… Nevermind. Don't worry about it.'

'Cas, look at me,' Mary said. 'Do you want to go?'

Cas glanced at her, then gave a small nod.

'Then we'll go.'

'Are - are you sure? I don't want to be a bother.'

'Are you kidding? I'd love to go!' Mary said delightedly. 'This is so awesome, I've always wanted to do the sports thing, but these two were never really interested.'

'Hey, I played sports,' Sam said indignantly through a mouthful of pasta.

'Don't talk with your mouth full,' John said.

'Come on, you played lacrosse for like two months,' Dean teased.

'Boys, please,' Mary interrupted. 'We're supporting Cas right now, not sniping at each other.'

Sam nodded. 'Can I come? I wanna see Cas race.'

'Yeah, me too,' said Dean.

'Really?' Cas said uncertainly.

'Absolutely. I'll come too,' said John. 'I'm sure the guys at the shop can manage without me for a few hours.'

'Um… All right,' Cas said quietly, not sure how to take their interest in him.

'So what do you need, do you have to get like a uniform or something?' Mary asked eagerly.

Cas nodded and she clapped her hands together.

'Oh, this is so exciting. What races are you up for?'

'Two hundred and fifteen hundred meters.'

John nodded approvingly. 'A good sprint and an endurance run. Nice.'

'Are those the ones you like? Did you choose them?' Mary asked.

'Uh, they're the ones the coach thinks I would be best at.'

'Oh okay, so do you have a personal best on them at the moment? That's what it is, right, you get a personal best?'

'Mom, calm down, he doesn't need the third degree,' Dean said.

'All right, all right, I'm sorry,' she said, still smiling.

'I think the shoes you got for me helped me stand out,' Cas said kindly and Mary beamed at him.

Cas and Sam disappeared up to their rooms shortly after dinner, but Dean lingered in the living room with Mary and John, dragging out the time before he'd have to go to bed for as long as possible.

John eventually made his way upstairs too, but Mary scooted closer to Dean on the couch.

'You okay, honey?' she asked, pulling her legs up and turning to face him.

'Yeah, I guess,' Dean said, folding his arms.

'Do you want to stay home tomorrow?'

Dean thought about it, but shook his head. 'I mean, I want to, but I shouldn't.'

'I'm giving you an out here,' Mary smiled.

'I know, but it's so easy to fall behind. You know how it is.'

'Sure.'

Dean sighed loudly. 'I'd better go to bed and try to sleep, after someone let me sleep all day.'

Mary gave him a sheepish look. 'Don't be mad, Dean, you're going to college next year, I only have so long left to watch you sleep.'

'Okay, I want you to say that again, and really listen to how creepy that sounds.'

Mary playfully slapped his knee and he laughed. 'Go on, then. I'll see you in the morning.'

Dean leaned over to kiss her cheek, then made his way upstairs. Cas was still awake, watching something on his laptop with his earphones in. He was digging through his drawers for a fresh set of pajamas when he heard Cas's voice.

'Your mom's right,' he said.

'About what?' said Dean, turning around curiously.

'You are adorable when you sleep.'

Dean gave him a stunned look.

'You know, the drool and the snoring-'

'Okay, all right-'

'Very cute,' Cas smirked.

Dean chuckled. 'Thanks, Cas, I appreciate that.'

'You're welcome.'

Dean laughed again. 'Do you want this across?' he asked, pointing at the curtain. 'I know I'm adorable and everything, but maybe some privacy?'

'Oh, go ahead.'

''Night, Cas.'

'Goodnight.'

As soon as he was hidden from Cas, Dean rooted around under his bed for a small box that he stashed a supply of sleeping pills in. It had been a long time since he'd needed them, but he was glad now that he hadn't thrown them away. At least now he could get a good night's sleep.


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