Chapter Eight
In all the excitement from Cas's win, Dean almost forgot that Rhonda was still hanging around, and his mood dropped dramatically the moment he saw her. As usual, Cas took on the task of distracting her, and was doing his best to look interested in what she was saying.
'But enough about me, what about you?' Rhonda said, flicking her hair so that it hit Dean in the face. 'Where are you from?'
Cas suddenly looked nervous, fiddling with the cuffs of his hoodie and looking anywhere but at her. 'I don't know,' he mumbled.
'What do you mean you don't know?' Rhonda said with a slight laugh.
'I was very young when my parents died. I don't remember where we're from,' Cas said in the same anxious murmur.
'Oh. Bummer,' Rhonda said, and Dean's blood boiled at her lack of empathy. 'What happened to them?'
Cas just shrugged and chewed the end of one of the drawstrings.
'Come on, you can tell me.'
'He doesn't have to talk about it if he doesn't want to,' Dean said hotly, earning himself a cold look from her. He clamped his mouth shut, shivering slightly.
'I don't remember asking you,' she said. 'Come on, Cas, we're friends. Tell me what happened.'
'You don't have to,' Jo said, glaring at Rhonda.
Cas bit his lip, looking from Rhonda, to Dean, to Jo and back again. 'My father died in a car accident. My mother was devastated. She couldn't live without him so she - she jumped off a bridge.' With that, Cas snatched up his bag, leaving his lunch untouched, and dashed out of the cafeteria.
Dean wanted to follow, but found himself rooted to the spot, unable to risk brushing against Rhonda if he moved.
'Jeez, what's his problem?' Rhonda laughed.
Dean ground his teeth, until finally Rhonda moved, and he leapt to his feet, racing in the direction Cas had gone. It took him a while, but he found Cas in the showers, sitting in one of the cubicles with the shower in the next one switched on. Dean knocked gently on the door.
'Are you okay?' he asked.
'I didn't want to talk to her anymore,' came Cas's muffled voice.
'Yeah, she has that effect on people… Do you want to go home?'
'Yes.'
The door unlocked and Cas came out with his bag on his shoulder and his hood up, hiding his bloodshot eyes.
'Come on, I'll call a cab.'
'You don't have to come with me,' Cas muttered.
Dean shrugged. 'I don't want to stay here, so…'
Cas nodded, and didn't say anything else for the entire ride home. He went straight upstairs to their room, and Dean wandered into the kitchen to make them some sandwiches.
'Hey, Mom, you out here?' Dean said, sticking his head out of the kitchen window and calling out to the back yard.
'Hey, sweetie, what are you doing home?' Mary said, dusting herself off and coming in through the back door.
'Cas is here too,' Dean said, grabbing a pack of ham from the fridge.
'Really? What happened?'
Dean closed the fridge but didn't look at her. 'Rhonda,' he muttered. 'She got to him too.'
'Oh, Dean,' Mary said sympathetically. 'Do you want to do anything about this?'
Dean shook his head. 'Only a couple more days 'til her kitchen is done and she can go back to having lunch at home. It'll be fine.'
'If you say so, honey,' Mary said, coming over to rub his back. 'Let me know if you want my help, okay?'
'Thanks, Mom.' Dean shrugged her off and took the sandwiches he'd made upstairs.
Cas was sitting on his bed, staring at the ceiling with his hood still up.
'Here, I made you some lunch,' Dean said, placing the plate on the end of the bed.
Cas pulled the plate towards himself but made no move to eat the sandwich.
Dean sighed and hovered next to the bed. 'Listen, I'm sorry about her, she's… I don't know, I guess it's my fault she hangs around-'
'How is that your fault?' Cas interrupted, frowning at Dean. 'She can make her own decisions, can't she?'
Dean just shrugged. He came so close to opening his mouth and telling Cas what happened, but he just couldn't force it out.
Cas shook his head. 'It's all right, Dean. Not everyone understands that some people grew up differently to them. It's just how people are.'
Dean nodded, but Cas's words didn't make him feel any better, so he drew the curtain across the room to give them both some space.
Dean was quiet at dinner, listening to Sam and John laughing and joking, glancing at the stairs every so often, hoping for Cas to come down. It wasn't until John and Sam had gone to bed that Cas finally emerged, his eyes and nose red and his hood still up.
Mary saw him first, looking up from her evening cup of tea. 'Hey, honey, what's up?' she said in concern.
Cas hesitated. 'I've been thinking about my mom,' he mumbled.
'Come sit down,' Mary sat, patting the seat next to her. 'Dean will make us some tea, won't you, Dean?'
'Yeah, sure.'
Cas sat down, his hands clasped in his lap, and he waited for Dean to stop making noise. 'I don't like thinking about her,' he admitted.
'Why not?' Mary asked gently.
Cas took a deep breath. 'I was there when she… I mean, I was in the car… I - I didn't see anything, I was asleep, but when I woke up, she was gone and there were so many people everywhere. They were yelling at me, but I didn't understand.' Cas stopped to wipe his face with a shaky hand. 'I don't like to think about it,' he repeated.
'I don't blame you, that sounds like it was really scary,' said Mary.
Cas nodded. 'She sang me to sleep. She seemed fine, and then… I didn't notice anything.'
'It wasn't up to you to notice,' Mary said softly. 'You were only little.'
'I know, but I - I never understood why she couldn't love me enough to stay.' Cas broke down, sobbing into his hands.
Mary too welled up. 'Do you want a hug, sweetie?' she said.
Cas sniffed and nodded, and continued to cry into her shoulder as she enveloped him in a warm, comforting hug.
Dean watched, reminded of the many times he too had cried on her shoulder.
'I don't want to feel bad anymore,' Cas said, holding her tightly.
'I bet,' Mary said, pulling away slightly. 'Have you ever been in therapy, Cas?'
'No.'
'Not even once?'
Cas shook his head.
'Do you think you want to give it a try?'
'Yes,' Cas said, his voice cracking.
'All right, I'll make some calls first thing, okay?'
'Thank you.'
Mary rubbed his back. 'Here, drink your tea, it'll make you feel better.'
Cas took a shaky sip. 'It's nice. Thank you, Dean.'
'You're welcome.'
'So, when's your next race?' Mary asked, attempting to distract Cas.
'Oh, uh, Lawrence is hosting the counties next Friday.'
'Awesome, we'll be there,' Mary smiled, patting his shoulder. 'You should both get to bed though, you've got school in the morning.'
'Thank you. I feel much better now.'
'Oh good,' Mary said. 'I'm always here if you need to talk.'
Cas finished his tea and got to his feet. 'Are you coming?' he said to Dean.
'Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I'm coming. 'Night, Mom.'
'Goodnight, boys.'
Dean climbed the stairs, patting Cas on the shoulder when they got back into their room. 'You all right?'
Cas nodded. 'Your mom is nice,' he said before disappearing behind the curtain.
Dean sighed quietly and went to the bathroom to splash water over himself.
'Okay,' he said to himself. 'No more skipping school, you can do this.' But no matter how much he tried to pep talk himself, it didn't prevent the claustrophobic nightmares, nor the sick feeling he woke up with the next morning.
He could barely stomach the cup of coffee that Cas made him, but he forced himself onto the bus anyway, promising himself he'd get it together after homeroom.
'Whoa, you look like warmed up crap,' Jo laughed when she got on the bus.
Dean just grumbled and rested his head on the window, dozing off and not listening to anything else she said on the way.
Cas gently shook him awake when they arrived. 'Come on, Dean,' he said softly.
'All right.'
Dean shuffled into school and sat heavily at his homeroom desk.
'Hello, angel,' Crowley said with a wink when he saw them, and Cas squinted at him.
'Good morning, Crowley,' Cas muttered, sitting at the desk in front of him.
'Morning, boys,' came Rhonda's bright voice from the doorway.
Dean's stomach lurched and he felt himself beginning to sweat.
'You do know I'm here, right?' Jo said thornily, but Rhonda ignored her and leaned on Kevin's desk behind Dean.
'Dean?' said Cas, catching his attention.
'Mm?'
'Are you all right?'
Dean looked up at his concerned eyes and soft expression, and suddenly he didn't feel so bad. 'Yeah,' he said, even managing a small smile. 'Yeah, I'm okay.'
Cas smiled back. 'Good. Are you going straight home today, or do you want to come with me to the track later?'
Dean's chest loosened. 'I'll come with you, but don't expect me to do any running or anything.'
'I wouldn't dream of it.'
Somehow, the prospect of hanging out with Cas after school got Dean through the day. He still felt awful, but he made his way to the track and sunk onto the first bench he came to.
'You actually came,' Cas said as he came out of the locker room, smiling at Dean again.
'I said I would, didn't I?' said Dean. 'So, what do you do first?'
'Some warm ups, and then sprints.'
'Cool, show me what you got.'
Cas nodded and jogged over to the track.
Watching Cas was oddly calming, and Dean followed him back and forth with his eyes, occasionally catching Cas's eye. He wasn't ready to go home when Cas was finished, however, and dragged Cas to a nearby diner, texting Mary along the way to let her know they were eating out.
'Are you feeling better now?' Cas asked, munching on a handful of fries.
Dean shrugged. 'I guess so,' he said, but his stomach was already tying itself in knots at the thought of homeroom the next day.
'What happened between you two?' Cas said, looking Dean right in the eye.
Dean shrank down in his seat and put down his burger. 'I don't want to talk about it,' he eventually mumbled. 'Listen, I'm gonna walk home, I'll call you a cab.'
'No, I'll go with you,' said Cas, wiping the grease off his fingers.
'You can't do that, you just spent an hour running,' Dean protested.
Cas shrugged. 'I have a lot of stamina. If we're walking we should go now.' He got to his feet and left a tip on the table for their waitress.
They walked together in silence, both having things they wanted to ask about but knowing the other didn't want to answer. Eventually, Dean worked up the courage to stammer, 'We - we flirted for a while. She was never really my girlfriend. It didn't end well.'
Cas nodded and patted Dean on the shoulder.
Dean wanted to say more, but settled for rubbing the spot on his shoulder that Cas touched.
It was late by the time they arrived home. John was dozing on the couch, and Mary was reading in the kitchen.
'Hi, boys,' she said brightly when they came in. 'How was your night?'
'It was fine,' Dean shrugged, digging through the fridge for something sweet to eat.
'Don't do that,' Mary chided, 'there's leftover pie in the oven.'
'Where's Sam?'
'Where do you think?' Mary said, rolling her eyes. 'He's playing that game with his friends again. Are you having any pie, Cas?'
'No, thank you,' Cas said, instead pouring himself a glass of water.
Just then, Sam thundered down the stairs, grabbing another slice of the pie.
'What's wrong, Sam?' Mary asked.
'Nothing,' Sam said, sighing dramatically. 'We're stuck on our campaign, 'cause they guys won't suck it up and make a move. We're probably gonna have to scrap this one, it's taking way too long and no one likes it anymore.'
'Campaign?' Cas asked.
'Yeah, dungeons and dragons.'
'Oh, I used to play that. It was fun.'
Sam's face lit up. 'Will you play with us?'
Cas raised his eyebrows in surprise. 'I don't know, Sam, it's been a while.'
'Well, what did you play as? We probably have room somewhere in the party.'
'I was mostly DM, but I played mage sometimes.'
Sam's jaw dropped. 'Oh my God, Cas, you have to DM for us! Garth is so terrible at it, please save us from him.'
'Uh…'
'It doesn't have to be a long campaign,' Sam added hastily. 'But maybe a break is what we need to get back into this one.'
Cas considered it. 'I have some short campaigns I never used, and I don't have any plans on Sunday.'
'Yes!' Sam said, pumping both fists. 'Come on, let me introduce you to the guys.'
Before Cas could argue, Sam was dragging him up the stairs.
'Oh, I gotta see this,' Dean laughed, putting down his pie and following them to Sam's room. He hovered outside the door to listen to them talking.
Sam had shoved his headset back on and switched on the camera on his computer. 'Hey, I'm back… shut up, Garth, I was hungry… Anyway, I want you guys to meet someone - Cas, come here.' Sam pulled Cas in front of the camera. 'This is Cas, he's gonna DM for us on Sunday - no, Garth, we're not giving up, we're just having a break, okay? Look, your campaign is lame, I bet Cas could come up with a way better one anyway, so just cool it. Yeah, he lives here, he's my foster brother.'
Cas blinked and turned pink. 'Sam, I have to go to sleep now,' he said quietly.
'Sure, sure. 'Night.'
'Goodnight.' He waved awkwardly at the camera and stepped out of the room, where Dean was waiting.
'Nerd,' Dean called to Sam.
'Don't listen to him, Cas, he's a nerd too, he just doesn't know it,' Sam shouted back.
Cas caught Dean's eye, smirked, then brushed past him to get to their room.
Dean stood, frozen momentarily by Cas's close proximity, and the forearm that briefly touched his.
'What are you doing, weirdo?' Sam said, breaking into his thoughts. 'Get away from my room.'
Dean rolled his eyes, but walked away, his cheeks burning.
Mary appeared at the bottom of the stairs and called up to them. 'Cas, Dean, have you washed your gym clothes? You've got P.E tomorrow.'
'Yes,' came Cas's faint reply.
'Yeah,' Dean said to her, groaning quietly. Cas in gym shorts was the last thing he needed, and he couldn't stop thinking about it until he fell asleep, clutching his pillow tightly.
Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Natasha Walker for the review!
I'm sure you're wondering where I've been. I was recently made a manager at my job and instead of starting me off slowly, they immediately dumped fourteen new hires on me that I had to train, so it's been a bit chaotic and scary, so I haven't had much focus time.
Anyway, please accept updates to all my works in progress - SPL - Order of the Phoenix, Lionheart and Little Things, as well as a new story Mykonos as an apology, and an optimistic view that updates will be more frequent now that things have settled a bit, but maybe not as frequent as before.
Thanks for all your support if you're still sticking around :)
