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Chapter 4

Natalie and John stayed in her car and talked for hours, it was close to six in the morning when they realized the sun was coming up, Natalie was exhausted but she was having a great time just talking with him, it was light, nice. They sat and watched the sun as it rose, it was even a bit romantic she thought, he held her hand a bit but not for long, he seemed shy about it, she wasn't sure if he was shy about her or just shy in general when it came to women.

They stared at the sun as it rose and a new day began, John turned briefly to Nat and gave her a small smile, the same small smile he had been giving her all night, all morning as they talked about everything, and anything.

Natalie had told him so much about herself she was amazed. She had never told anyone all those things, what she went thru as a child growing up with Roxy, without a father, with caring for her brother and then him being taken away when they were little and then her being left with nothing, she also told him about Rex getting into a bit of trouble when he ran away and came back to be with her. She even got into the facts of why she would hustle people for money, how she didn't enjoy it but she needed the money to help get her out of this town, this town that was eating away at her, this town for which she always felt as if she didn't belong. It just amazed her so much how she felt comfortable with him so soon.

John sat in the car with her all night, and most of the morning, they watched the sunrise, they had talked so much before the sunrise and now they were just watching the sun start its new day. He was so caught up with how much he was enjoying her company that he even held her hand, he reached for it, took it, he intertwined their fingers and they fit so perfectly he thought.

As he watched the sunrise with her, holding her hand he thought about how open he had been with her, how he couldn't believe the things he told her as if he knew her forever as if they knew each other longer. He knew she was only eighteen but she was so much more mature than that. He told her about his dad being a cop, his death, how it affected him, his mom and even his brother Michael. He told her everything and wanted to tell her everything. But he did more than just talk, he listened, listened closely to every word she spoke, he felt every emotion she spoke about as she told him about her miserable childhood.

A few minutes after the sunrise John turned to her, he smiled and then got serious for a few minutes. She saw him get serious and it was really one of the first few times she had seen that face the whole ten hours that they had just spent together.

"What's on your mind?" she asked him as she to got a serous look come upon her

"Was just wondering... "

"Wondering what? I think you can ask it, what ever it is, I mean.. I've just about told you everything there is to know about me, and ... and .. well just ask it?"

"Do you have any dreams Natalie? I mean what are your dreams, your plans for the future? Do you even have any?" he asked her still serious and she was a little unraveled by the question, what did he mean what was her dreams? She told herself.

"John, do you mean goals, like goals in life, what I want to do with my life?"

"Yeah, sort of? But I really meant your dreams, what it is you dream of when you close your eye's and if you were to see it, it would be perfect"

Natalie hesitated for a few minutes before answering

"I'm not much of a dreamer John, goals are more my thing"

"What do you mean you aren't a dreamer?"

"Just what it sounds like, dreams to me aren't reality, they are fake, fictitious and they cloud our lives with nonsense sometimes"

"That's ridiculous, that's not what they do," John told her a little upset by the fact that she didn't dream, didn't believe in dreams. After a few minutes of silence Natalie spoke.

"What are you dreams John? Since you must have them or you would've brought it up," she asked him and he hesitated before answering

"I dream of being in the FBI someday, of making my dad proud, maybe...maybe having someone to spend my life with, maybe a few kids, a house. Don't tell me you don't have dreams and ones like that," he asked her

"I guess I do, I just consider them goals to achieve but I guess they are sort of the same things"

"So what are they?"

"You really want to know?" she asked and he shook his head

"Okay, My biggest goal is to get out of AC, go somewhere pretty, nicer, be around nicer people that don't expect something in returns for a favor. Maybe you could say I dream about a better life for myself, a better place to be" she told him seriously, she looked into his blue eye's and she saw something in them, she wasn't sure of what it was.

John was silent for a few minutes and then he heard Natalie speak.

"I've got class in a few hours, let me drive you back for your car" she told him and he nodded yes, John watched straight ahead of him as they drove, he didn't look at her and he wasn't still wearing the smile that he had been since he saw her in the bar yesterday.

John was thinking, lost in thought, wondering, no hoping, no wishing she was just a bit older cause he was feeling something for her, something already after only knowing her for a few days. It seemed like they got each other, him and her, and when she explained her situation, and how she felt like she had no one, it almost seemed like they were the same, two loners, two lost souls, they were the same. How he thought for a few minutes that they could be everything to each other, maybe even be meant to be but.. But she wasn't at the same place he was, not if life; their age difference put them in two different places with two different things on their minds. Friends, he told himself, they would have to be friends.

Natalie pulled up to the bar parking lot near his car.

John turned to her and looked into her ocean blue eyes and almost forgot what he was going to say.

"I... I... I feel something for you.. I mean.. Is that weird? Do you feel it too? Wait.. wait don't answer that, I really enjoyed our.. our talks tonight, I.. really enjoyed our kisses tonight too and I would love nothing more than maybe to see where the kiss part and stuff would go but.. but it just seems we are in two different places in life, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, I understand and I've really got to get for class" she told him annoyed, it almost felt like she was being dumped or something but they just freaking met.

"Natalie I.. I'm Not" he tried to get out

"Listen John, don't beat around the bush, alright, tell me straight, you didn't enjoy yourself and now you are giving me the brush off, I really don't care, I've been alone, never had anybody my whole life, no biggie if your don't want more or to even be my friend like you mentioned earlier" she told him and he was taken back a bit, he wasn't sure why cause after spending the whole night talking with her getting to know every intimate part of herself that she would let him into, he should've known how she would take this, and be so blunt.

"That's it, I want us to be friends, I mean... I don't have many, and you and I seem to hit it off, seem the same, we both seem to be alone in a sense and I think we could be good friends, I enjoyed playing pool with you tonight and talking"

'Yeah?" she asked softly this time, she did enjoy herself that was probably why she was a bit upset by this words a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, friends, agreed" he told her and he put his hand out to shake on it.

Natalie thought about it, she definitely wanted to be his friend but she got a wicked smile on her face, she leaned in with her hand to shake and faked him out with it as she again took his lips with hers. He accepted her kiss and deepened it; she pulled away, and looked at him. He shook his head as she laughed and he got out of the car.

John came over by her window, banged on it, she rolled it down.

"Wanna play pool tonight, Friend?" he asked as he smiled

"I've gotta work till nine"

"Ten o'clock then?" he asked her and she nodded her head