Chapter Nine

Dean watched Cas pack his bag, throwing in the bright red pair of shorts they all had to wear. Up until now, Dean had always managed to miss gym, but he could no longer justify skipping the class. He would just have to deal with it, but even as he thought it, his imagination was already running away from him, and he was sure the real thing would be worse. The slight scent he caught of Cas's body spray told him that much.

'Hey, what do you wear, by the way?' Dean blurted out, before he could stop himself.

'Um - clothes?' Cas said.

Dean snorted, relaxing slightly. 'No, I meant your spray or whatever.'

'Oh, here.' Cas tossed him a bottle and Dean examined it. 'It's nothing special.'

It was a Bath & Body Works, bourbon scented.

'Thanks,' Dean mumbled, throwing it back to him.

'Why do you want to know?' Cas asked curiously, tucking the bottle into his bag.

'No reason,' Dean said, too quickly. 'You smell nice.'

Cas blinked rapidly, confused. 'Thanks?' he said, then turned and walked out of the room.

Dean slapped a hand to his forehead, groaning quietly. 'Great. "You smell nice", what a loser. Come on, Dean.' He followed Cas down the stairs and grabbed some toast before they both headed out to catch the bus.

Thankfully, Cas didn't seem to have noticed how awkward Dean was being, and was distracted by his phone for most of the ride there. Unfortunately, this also had the added effect of Dean remembering that they were headed to homeroom first.

Rhonda was there, as usual. She'd dyed her hair a brighter, bubblegum pink, so she was impossible to ignore, and she'd decided to take Dean's usual seat.

'Hey, Dean,' she said, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.

Dean froze for a moment, then turned around and left again, his legs moving of their own accord, bumping into Mrs Neilsen on his way out.

'Hey, where are you going?' she called after him.

'Library,' he lied, not looking at her.

He ended up in the bathroom, disappointed with himself for letting Rhonda get to him again. He refused to go home though. Instead, he locked himself in a stall and called Mary.

'Hey, sweetie, are you okay?'

'No, I don't think I am,' he said, his voice cracking slightly.

'What's wrong?' Mary said, alarmed.

'It's fine, it's just… Do you think - maybe - we could get back in with my old therapist?'

'Yeah, of course we can,' Mary said, her voice softening. 'You coming home?'

Dean took a deep breath. 'No,' he said eventually. 'I can - I can do it.'

'That's my Deano.' Dean could hear the smile in her voice.

'Thanks, Mom. See you later.'

He hung up and sat in the stall for a while, but froze when the door opened.

'Dean?' came Cas's voice. 'Are you in here?'

'Yeah,' Dean replied.

'Are you all right?'

'I've been better.'

There was a brief moment of silence. 'I got Rhonda to move if you want to come back to homeroom.'

Dean smiled. 'Thanks, but I'll just skip it today.'

'All right… Her kitchen is finished, so she won't be at lunch with us today.'

Dean's shoulders relaxed at the thought of a Rhonda free lunch break, and getting through the rest of the day all of a sudden seemed much more achievable.

'Thanks, Cas,' he said softly. 'I'll see you in English.'

The door opened and closed as Cas left, and Dean let his head thump against the wall.

'You can do this,' he whispered to himself. 'You can do this.' The bell rang and Dean forced himself to his feet and out of the bathroom.

Every so often, Dean would catch a glimpse of Rhonda's bright pink hair, down a hallway or across the courtyard, but thankfully she never noticed him. He was almost calm by lunch, and was relieved when she didn't turn up, just as Cas said. All that was left to get through was gym, which Dean was dreading almost as much as having to see Rhonda.

If it wasn't bad enough that he himself was self-conscious about the uniform, now he had to see Cas in it, and, even worse, Cas would see him in it.

'They should ban these,' Dean said grumpily to Jo, as they trudged into the gym, tugging on the white polo shirt he was forced to wear. As a rule, Dean was a layers man, and on the odd occasion he had to wear something light for the heat, white clothes, and shorts of any kind were never in consideration.

'Get over it already,' Jo said, rolling her eyes. 'It's not like it's fun for the rest of us either, well except for him.' She nodded over at Cas who had just walked into the room.

He looked completely comfortable in the uniform, seemingly unbothered by the amount of skin he was showing. Dean couldn't help but stare, heat creeping up his neck. Luckily, he wasn't the only one staring, so no one noticed that he was.

'Damn,' Jo muttered.

Dean glanced at her. 'Keep it in your pants, Jo,' he laughed, just as Cas jogged over to them.

'It's odd to see you wearing that,' Cas said, amused and looking Dean up and down. 'Are you all right?'

Dean, who had been distracted by the fact that Cas's shirt was slightly too small for him, stammered out something completely incoherent.

'What?' Jo said.

Dean cleared his throat, blushing. 'I'm actually not feeling so great,' he said, in an attempt to excuse his behaviour. 'But it's the last class, so it'll be fine.'

Cas seemed to accept this, nodding.

A moment later, their teacher came in, taking the attention away from Cas, and Dean by extension.

'Basketball today,' the teacher said lazily, taking a seat on one of the benches at the side of the room. 'Pick your captains and go.'

Dean and Cas ended up on opposing teams.

'I can't wait for college so I never have to do this again,' Dean complained to Jo.

Jo rolled her eyes. 'Dude, if you put as much energy into the game as you do complaining, you might actually enjoy yourself.'

Dean groaned dramatically, but he looked over at Cas, who seemed to be taking it very seriously. He had a sparkle in his eye, and was listening to their team captain intently.

'Fine, I'll play,' Dean said.

'Like you have a choice,' Jo snorted.

Dean regretted his decision immediately. Cas had apparently been assigned to mark him, due to their similar heights, he assumed. He played terribly, completely distracted by Cas's presence, his smell, his arms brushing Dean's. The last straw came when the ball was passed to him, but it went a little long. He moved back to catch it, and backed right into Cas. At that moment, they both discovered that the shorts were much thinner than either of them would have hoped, and Dean felt Cas in his entirety against his hip.

Dean dropped the ball in shock and Cas jumped away from him. Then, to his horror, he could feel himself responding to the touch. Thinking quickly, he bent over double, clutching his stomach, pretending to be sick. He dashed out of the room, and into the changing rooms, where he could hide in the shower in peace.

'God damn it,' he muttered. He ran the shower freezing cold and started singing in an attempt to distract himself.

Just when Dean thought it couldn't get any worse, he emerged from the shower only wearing a towel around the waist, and there was Cas looking startled, his cheeks red. Dean jumped and nearly dropped his towel. Dean grabbed at it and tried to slip back into the shower, but the door had already closed.

'How long have you been there?' Dean stuttered. 'Were you listening to me sing?'

'No,' Cas said quickly, blushing an even deeper red. 'I just came to see if you were all right.'

'I'll be better with clothes on,' Dean said with a lame attempt at a lighthearted laugh.

'Of course,' Cas said, then immediately disappeared among the lockers, leaving Dean to snatch up his clothes and throw them on.

'Hey, so I'm gonna go home,' Dean called out when the bell rang, knowing that Cas was still around somewhere. 'I know you've got track tonight, will you be okay getting a cab or do you want me to come pick you up?'

'I have Uber,' Cas called back.

'See you at dinner then.'

Dean made a hasty exit and all but ran to the bus. Jo plonked herself down in the seat behind him.

'Hey, why are you being weird?' Jo asked, poking him in the back head.

'I'm not being weird, you are,' Dean snapped.

'Wow. Excellent comeback.'

Dean sighed. 'Sorry. Just a rough day.'

Jo hesitated. 'You know you can talk to me, right? About anything. We've known each other forever.'

Dean bit his lip. He wanted to tell her, but, like with everyone else, he couldn't force it out of his mouth. 'I know,' he said eventually. 'I appreciate it.'

He left her on the bus, then tried to sneak into the house, so he could slip unnoticed into his bedroom. Thoughts of Cas were already creeping up on him again and he needed some privacy, but unfortunately for him, John was outside with the Impala, washing the windows.

'Dean, will you pass me that wax?' John called as Dean approached.

Dean cringed, extremely uncomfortable and almost certain that John would notice, picked up the tub of wax and handed it to John without looking at him.

'What's for dinner?' Dean asked.

'Oh, your mom's making enchiladas,' John said. 'From scratch and everything, since Cas told her he's only ever had the microwave kind.'

'Yikes,' Dean said, wrinkling his nose as he remembered the last time he had microwave Mexican food. He turned to go inside, but John stopped.

'Hold on a sec, I want to ask you something,' John said, wiping his hands on a cloth.

Dean hesitated, but stepped over to John. 'What's up?' he said. His heart started hammering. There was no way John could know what was going on, could he?

'Do you think I'm connecting enough with Cas?'

Dean blinked rapidly, surprised. 'What?'

'Well, your mom has a pretty good relationship with him already, which is great, but do you think I should be doing more with him?'

Dean thought about it. 'No, I think you're doing fine, Dad. You know as well as I do what the system can be like, so we have no idea what kind of issues he could still be carrying from it. Not to mention we still don't know who gave him that fat lip when he got here, but I'm sure you have your suspicions. I think taking a back seat is exactly what he needs from you right now.'

'You don't think he's worried I don't care about him?'

Dean shook his head. 'Nah, you always ask him how he is and what he's up to, so I think now you just wait for him to come to you.'

John nodded thoughtfully, then grinned at Dean. 'How'd I get such a smart kid, huh?' he said, slapping Dean on the back.

Dean laughed. 'From Mom, duh.'

John chuckled and turned back to the car.

Dean went inside, still hot and bothered, and made for the bathroom, but it was already locked. He groaned in frustration and considered putting a sock on the door, but he couldn't bear to think about Cas knowing what he was up to. It was embarrassing enough the first time, and Cas could be back any moment. He groaned again and went back downstairs, sitting at the table with his homework while Mary cooked.

'Hey, Sweetie,' she said, kissing him on the head.

'Ew, Mom, you've got minced beef on your hands,' Dean said, pulling away.

Mary just laughed. 'Oh, by the way, I'm proud of you for today.'

Dean blushed. 'Mom, you don't have to do that anymore,' he mumbled.

'Do what?' she said innocently.

'Come on,' Dean said, rolling his eyes. 'Celebrating the little victories, like the therapist said.'

'I don't know what you're talking about,' Mary grinned, turning back to her cooking.

Dean smiled to himself, her words glowing in his heart despite his protest.

Cas arrived home just before dinner was ready and hurried up to their room, as he normally did. Dean got up to go and see how Cas was, but he stopped outside their bedroom, seeing that the door was closed with a sock draped over the door handle. Don't think about it. Don't think about it, Dean thought desperately to himself, turning away from the door and hurrying back downstairs.

'Hey, Mom, do you need any help?' Dean asked, his voice slightly higher than normal.

Mary gave him a suspicious look. 'Sure, you can make up the salad. The bowl's over there.'

Dean sighed and got to work chopping tomatoes.

'Are you okay, Dean?' Mary said. 'You're looking a little red.' She reached out to touch his cheek, but he flinched away.

'I'm fine,' he said hastily.

Mary narrowed her eyes at him.

'I don't want to talk about it,' he muttered.

'All right, honey,' she said, patting his shoulder.

Dean and Mary finished plating up the food and Mary called everyone to dinner.

John was at the table first, followed by Sam, then Cas came down, but he refused to look Dean in the eye. He must have heard Dean come up the stairs and stand outside the door.

Oblivious to the tension between them, Mary and John struck up their usual conversations, asking everyone how their day was and what homework they had. Cas was quiet in his answers, but he used track practice as an excuse when asked if he was all right.

'Oh, by the way, you dad and I are going away next weekend,' Mary said casually. 'You can have your friends over if you want, but no wild parties.'

'Dean's not cool enough to throw wild parties,' Sam said immediately.

'Hey, cheap shot,' Dean protested.

'It's true though,' Sam sniggered. 'Who would you ask over? Jo and Kevin? Snore - Kevin especially.'

'Crowley too,' Cas added.

Sam rolled his eyes. 'Sure, Crowley too. How about that girl you liked? What was her name with the pink hair?'

It was like a punch in the gut, having Rhonda brought up by Sam. Cas's eyes flicked over to him for the first time that evening, and Mary gave Sam a stern look.

'That's enough, Sam,' Mary said firmly.

'But-'

'I said that's enough.'

An awkward silence fell across the table, until Dean cleared his throat and said, 'Yeah, I'll probably have the guys over if you're cool with it,' in a bright voice.

'Yeah, Jo's a pleasure to have over. Oh, that reminds me, we should catch up with Ellen and Bobby sometime,' Mary said to John, and normal conversation resumed.

Once everyone had finished, the table emptied. Sam went back to his room, Mary and Cas sat together in the living room, Mary asking Cas what other food he wanted to try, and John sat in his chair, struggling against sleep so he could listen to Mary talk.

Dean stayed in the kitchen to do the dishes, grateful for a moment of solitude.

'Hey, Dean,' Mary said softly, coming back into the kitchen when Cas went upstairs. 'You okay? You never do the dishes without me asking.'

Dean smiled. 'Yeah, I'm okay, I just wanted a minute alone, that's all.'

Mary set about making them both a mug of hot chocolate. 'How are you feeling really?' she asked, motioning for him to sit back down at the table. 'Your dad's asleep,' she added at Dean's uncertain glance towards the living room.

Dean sighed and sat next to her. 'I don't know,' he admitted. 'Disappointed, I guess.'

'Oh, why?' Mary said, holding his hand.

Dean shrugged. 'I worked so hard to be okay, but all it took was her coming to homeroom to ruin it. It's like all that work didn't matter at all.'

'Aw, honey, don't think of it that way. Everyone slips up, and I think you're handling it really well.'

'Really?'

'Oh yeah!' Mary said. 'You're pushing yourself, you're walking away when it gets too much. You're still using all your techniques, even if you don't think you are. I think you need to give yourself a little more credit.'

Dean exhaled and took a sip of the comforting drink. 'I don't want to miss any more school though. You know I'm not doing it on purpose, right?'

'Of course I do,' Mary said softly. 'Have you thought about switching homeroom?'

Dean shook his head. 'I like the one I'm in, all my friends are there. Besides, she'd probably just follow me, and then what? Just me and her in homeroom?' Dean shuddered at the thought, so he took another long gulp of his hot chocolate. 'I can do better, I know I can.'

'You're beating yourself up way too much,' said Mary.

'Yeah, maybe. Maybe it'll be better now she's not hanging around at lunch.'

'That's the spirit,' Mary smiled, patting his cheek.

Dean took a deep, cleansing breath and finished his drink. 'Thanks, Mom,' he said, getting up and stretching.'

'You're welcome. I got these cups, you should go up and finish your homework.'

'All right. 'Night, Mom. Don't let Dad nap too long, he won't sleep tonight.'

Mary laughed. 'Goodnight, Dean.'

Dean climbed the stairs to their room. The lights were on, but the curtains were drawn across, so Dean assumed Cas wouldn't want to talk. He sat down at his desk and pulled out his phone.

Dean

Parents out next weekend. Drinks at mine

BYOB

Jo H

Awesome I'm there

Crowley πŸ˜ˆπŸ†

Will Cas be there πŸ‘€πŸ‘€

Dean

No I'm kicking him out of his own house so I can have a party πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘

Kevin u in?

Kevin Tran

What do you think?

Crowley πŸ˜ˆπŸ†

Can't wait. You've got curtains in your room right Dean?

We'll probably need them πŸ˜‰

Dean

Gross

The thought of Crowley with Cas left a sour taste in Dean's mouth, so he said goodnight to them and switched off his notifications.

He spent another hour on homework, then knocked on the wall next to the curtain. 'Hey, Cas?' he called. 'Can I switch off the light?'

'Go ahead,' came his response.

With the light off and his pajamas on, Dean finally crawled into bed, curling up under the blankets. It was easy for his mind to drift in the dark. Thinking of Cas and how it would feel to be with him. It took a while for him to fall asleep, comfortable in the little cocoon that he had made, but a few hours into the night he started to dream.

Cas was there, just holding him at first, stroking Dean's hair and lightly kissing the top of his head, but then the dream changed. He realised they were naked, and Cas's hands began to wander. His heart thrilled and Cas's mouth found his. Everything was hazy, and Dean reached out for Cas, running his hands over Cas's warm, soft skin, shuddering with pleasure as Cas touched him. Cas leaned over him, trailing his mouth up Dean's neck and murmured, 'Dean', in his ear.

Dean started awake, gasping quietly, cheeks blazing as he realised his pajama pants were wet and sticky. He rolled onto his back, his hands over his face, listening intently to make sure Cas was still asleep and, more importantly, hadn't heard anything, before he gingerly climbed out of his bed. He grabbed a fresh set of pajamas and crept into the bathroom to clean himself up and change, then bundled up the old ones with his sheets. He snuck downstairs and into the garage where he could wash it all.

He thought he'd been quiet, but he must have made noise at some point. Mary came into the garage in her dressing gown.

'Dean, it's two a.m, why are you doing laundry?' she said sleepily.

'I thought we agreed that you wouldn't ask me why I'm doing laundry in the middle of the night, and I wouldn't tell you,' Dean said, sitting on the floor next to the washing machine.

'Right,' said Mary, running a hand through her hair. 'You're okay, though?'

'Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to bed, Mom.'

'All right. G'night.'

Dean watched her leave and waited for the cycle to finish and transferred it to the dryer. By the time he was done and climbing back into bed, the first feathers of dawn were peeking over the horizon. He went back to sleep, grateful that it was the weekend.


Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Dizzybunny for the review! See you again next time :)