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Chapter 11

John continued to hold Natalie for a few more minutes when they heard a loud cry come from the intercom system on the wall of the living room. Natalie pulled away from John, she looked into his eyes briefly and then walked up the stairs anxiously to see what was wrong with her son. John heard the baby cry out and he saw Natalie get a bit of a worried face on as she walked quickly up the stairs, he stood still for a few minutes but then followed her up to her son's nursery.

As John approached the room he heard the boy cry louder and louder, he saw Natalie walking him back and forth the room trying to calm him, to make him feel better, her back was to the door and him till she heard him speak, till she turned and saw him.

"Is there something wrong with him?" he asked her softly as he walked closer to them, he took his finger and touched CJ arm slightly and rubbed his finger up and down his soft feeling baby skin, he smiled slightly as she began to speak.

"He's warm, I think he has a fever" Natalie told him as she walked away from him and over to the changing table in the corner, she was trying to go thru all the draws in the table looking for fever medicine when John walked right over to her and took CJ out of her arms, so she could look for the medicine with both hands. Without words she watched him hold her child, it came natural for him, the baby even seem to calm a bit when John was holding him, she found what she was looking for and gave the medicine to CJ as John held him.

Natalie put the medicine away and went to take her boy from John when John stopped her.

"No, let me hold him a bit and get him settled for you"

"You don't have to do that John, I can take care of it"

"I want to Nat, let me" John told her and he held her son on his chest, as he started to quite more.

After a few minutes C.J. was still awake but quieting with every minute that john continued to hold him.

"John, why don't you at least sit wit him or lay in my bed with him, he can get a bit heavy " she told him, he looked at her, the boy was getting a bit heavy for some one to hold for the past half hour, he nodded his head and he followed her into her room.

John walked into her room with her son almost asleep on his chest when he couldn't help but look around, it was nice, her room, warm looking, home feeling, he could tell she loved her room, the way it was set told him she was comfortable in it.

"Lay down with him on your chest"

"What" he asked softly

"Slide across gently and lay down, he just fell asleep he needs a few more minutes to be in a good sleep before you can move him on the bed next to you" she told him as she watched him with her son, how could she have acted so cold to him earlier, it really was him, he really was the same person that he was back then, back when she was so young and he had all his dreams ahead of him. She saw him start to slide CJ onto the bed; Natalie took a seat on the other side of the baby as john placed him in the middle of her bed. Successfully the baby was on the bed and off of John's chest, he turned to Natalie after he looked at her baby boy for a few minutes.

"Its amazing isn't it?" he asked her softly

"What is?" she asked him as she followed his gaze over her son.

"He is, you are, you have a baby Natalie, a son, and he's amazing, I just can't believe it, he's perfect from his head down to his toes" he told her and she smiled at him

'Yeah, he is, you should have seen it the first time I saw him, the first time I held him, it was unbelievable, the feeling, it just can't be described, I fell in love with him when I was pregnant with him but then when he was born it was so much more than that, he was just so perfect you know, I looked into his eye's and I knew I had to do everything I could in my power to take care of him, to keep him safe cause he was mine and I loved him so much."

She told John and he blinked, that was how he was feeling right now, about them, about Natalie and her son, he wanted to do everything he could to take care of them, to keep them safe, he had always felt like that all those years ago with her but now, now after all this time had passed he still felt it and even more, and now with her son, with just holding him, watching him, he was in love and not just with Natalie again, with the precious little thing that laid between them.

John smiled across her sleeping child to her, she looked back at him for a brief second, then she turned away and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes till she spoke

"How's your life been John? Have you been happy? Did you ever find those things you were looking for back then, you know things to fulfill your dreams" she asked him and what she was really asking him was if there was anyone in his life, a wife, a girlfriend, anything, he didn't have a wedding ring on his finger so she doubted he was married, the way he asked about and spoke about CJ made her belief he didn't have any children, but she was curious to the facts, facts of how and what life has been like for him these past five years.

John knew what she was asking, he got the picture the minute she beat around the bush which was different then how she use to be, Natalie was always direct, straight forward if nothing else back then, it was different but not a bad different just..just.. just a mature one.

"There's no one in my life Natalie, I'm not married or even seeing anyone, I've really only been about the job for the past five years, haven't had time for anything else, never took the time for anything else"

"And why is that?" she asked him softly, softly so they didn't wake C.J. who was still asleep in between them in the bed.

"I don't know, I guess I just never wanted to, never wanted to try with anyone, probably because no one ever compared...compared to you" he told her as she turned from the ceiling and looked at him, she got teary eyed and he saw it, saw a tear escape her eye.

"I looked for you, you know, after I complete my training in Quantico, I asked around, no one saw you, or knew where you were, it was like you vanished off the face of this earth. Then.. then after trying for a little while I.. I gave up, you obviously didn't want to be found, and with everything that happened before I went to VA, you probably didn't feel for me anyways or not the same as I did for you." John told her all that, he laid things out in the open for her; she looked into his eyes for one brief minute and then looked away to the ceiling.

"He's in a good sleep maybe you should go now" she spoke into the ceiling

"I don't wanna go yet, and with the way you just asked me, I know you don't really want me to either" he told her and she did face him again, no tears this time

"Why? Why don't you want to go?"

"I want to hear about it, about how you got here and how you are a Buchanan? You are a Buchanan right? And that guy from earlier, he's the brother, Rex, the one that was taken away from you and Roxy when you were a kid, right?" he asked her and she sank further into the couch

"Yeah, I'm a Buchanan, and Yeah, that was Rex