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Chapter 13

Natalie started to stir and tossed her body over on her other side to face her son when she opened her eyes' slowly and he was gone, she didn't panic, she turned her body back the other way and looked straight ahead of her to see John watching her as she did. He was rocking CJ in the rocking chair as the baby boy took his bottle. She smiled curiously as she sat up and they never wavered their eye contact.

"Hey, why didn't you wake me? You don't need to be taking care of him," she told him as she got up and walked over to them in the rocking chair

"I didn't mind, I don't mind, you look like you needed the sleep" he told her as she stood in front of him and CJ, she put her arms down to take the boy but her son didn't move to come to her, she shook her head thinking how odd that was, how comfortable he was in Johns arms, how attached he seemed to be, and already, it wasn't like CJ to be this comfortable or attached to someone especially a man and so fast, he went to woman, he almost shied away from men. She shook her head and backed up.

"Do you want coffee, I'm making some," she asked as she started to walk towards the door, she stopped in front of her mirror near the door and looked at her messy hair and the rumbled clothes she was wearing.

"Look at what a mess I am" she said as she grabbed her brush from the nearby dresser and started to brush it out. John just stared at her, she looked beautiful and as she brushed her hair he had to look away before he got himself excited, he was holding her son, that would be really awkward he told himself as he got up too, Natalie finished brushing her hair and straightening her clothes a bit and they both walked down stairs for coffee as he answered her questions from before.

"I would love some coffee," he said as he followed behind her carrying her son.

Once downstairs she took CJ from him and put him in his highchair to play as they sat with coffee at the kitchen table. They were quiet and Natalie could tell by looking at him that there was something on his mind.

"What's going on? What are you thinking about?" she asked up front, just like the Natalie he knew.

"Nothing.. Really.. "

"Just spit it out John" she told him and he smiled, just like the Natalie he loved.

"I'd like to help get you out of this mess, this mess with the FBI, I mean, if I can figure out what's going on, what they are so desperately looking for, maybe then you'll have peace, peace and quiet"

Natalie stood quiet for a minute, she was beginning to get a bit bitter when she decided to calm for a minute and ask a few more questions, and tell him a few things.

"I don't know what the Feds are looking for? They won't tell me, and they have made my life so miserable over the past year, and I don't even mean with the death of my husband and all the shit about him working for them, every time I start to move on or am happy for a few minutes, they come back into my life and take all I've got, my grandfather is a very powerful man, he's even had them stop by pulling connection and they do, they leave me alone for a little bit but then they always seem to send someone else, this time its You John."

"Its got to be something really important Natalie if they don't just stop"

"I get that John, but I Don't Know what it is they are looking for and I don't have it! They have ruined so many things that should have been happy times for me this past year and I will not cooperate with them any longer so if you have any FBI or case related questions you can get the Heck out of my House Now!" she told him, calm at first but then she got short towards the end, John just looked at how upset and mad she got when she thought he was asking her questions and turning back into a Federal agent rather than her Friend, rather than a man that was in Love with her once and still was.

"Natalie" he said as he approached her cautiously

"If you tell me everything you know then maybe we can move on with things wit life, you and I and your boy" he told her and she got a bit more mad, something about what he just said set her off

"Get out John" she told him, he looked at her confused

"Natalie?" he asked softly

She shook her head as she looked at him.

"I think you may be the worse of them all, coming here pretending to still be my friend, so that you can get information from me, that was the plan all along wasn't it, the feds knew we knew each other and that's why you are here cause you know they've already sent someone to befriend me, someone undercover to try and get nonexistent information from me, and that didn't work so now I guess they figured they send in the heavy guns so to speak, GET OUT!" she screamed a bit to loud and scared CJ. She walked over to her son took him out of the Highchair, walked towards the door and opened it for him to leave.

"Natalie that's not it, I would never, I.. I" he said as he got closer to the door and her, he saw the look in her eye and he knew there was no talking to her at this point

"Just leave John," she told him a bit more softly and he wasn't sure why, why her voice was softer, was it because her son was in her arms or was it because she was coming down from her anger. He didn't care why she was softer, he needed her to know he didn't want to help her because of the job but because he loved her and he knew telling her would be a huge mistake but he just couldn't leave without her knowing some how.

John was about to walk passed her as she held her son in her arms, he walked in front of her and he stopped quickly, he brought his lips to hers in a quick but urgent telling kiss and then he backed up and saw her face, she wasn't expecting it, she was shocked by it and frozen by it.

"I'll leave Natalie, but I'm not going far, and I'm not leaving you this time, we will figure this out and finally have our chance to move on, to have a life like we should have all those years ago." John said as he walked out the door to her house, leaving her and her son standing in the doorway shocked and still frozen.

When John was successfully out the door and on the path to his car he touched his lips with his fingers as he walked, he smiled weakly with the feeling of her lips after all this time on his, he could still taste hers on him and he shook his head as he got in his car.

John pulled out his cell phone and made a call.

"Thompson, Its Mcbain, I need a little help with something, are you still in the AC office?"

"Okay, then it'll have to wait till tomorrow, what time can we meet? Good, what I need is inside info on a case that the Vegas office isn't telling me, they are keeping something from me and Its very important that I find out what it is. I need to know everything they aren't telling me about Christian Vega and why they are hounded his wife. Its personal, okay thanks I owe you tomorrow at noon at Finnegan's bar and tavern"

Natalie was standing still by the front door, John had just kissed her and walked out the door, right after he basically said he wasn't leaving and giving up, did he mean he still wanted to be in her life after all these years? That was what it sounded like but how? How could he after what she put him thru and how could she let him in completely, he's a fed, he would allows be one, that was his dream and even if he helped her with this, helped to clear things up, she could never be with a Federal agent not after she knew the tricks they'd do to anyone, the way they'd use anyone to get what they wanted and needed, she shook her head, she let him in last night, told him things as a friend but not anymore, she had a lapse in judgment last night, she saw him as her friend, the man she once loved last night but not anymore, she couldn't afford to.

Natalie went up stairs with CJ and they got dressed and ready for the day, she had work to keep her busy today, and then even tonight she had plans with a few friends to have dinner, CJ was spending the night at her mom's. She so needed to have a good time, she so needed to get John Mcbain and the FBI out of her head and just have some fun.

John walked into the police station, he went up to the Commissioners Assistant and asked to speak with him, the Assistant again was a bit cold to him and he ignored it, he was told to go into Bo's office and he did.

"What can I do for you Agent Mcbain?" Bo asked as he motioned for John to take a seat.

"I want to be on the level with you, honest, about some stuff and maybe then you can help me to figure out why your niece is being hassled so much, figure out exactly what us Feds are looking for" John told Bo and Bo looked on leery at first.

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why do you want to help my niece so desperately, what is in it for you?" Bo asked as John smiled she was definitely a Buchanan, it seems Buchanan's don't hold punches.

"Honestly and to the point?" john asked and Bo shook his head

"I'm in love with her, been in love with her since she was eighteen" he told Bo and Bo was now confused.

"She and I knew each other five years ago, before she knew she was a Buchanan" he saw Bo's face soften towards him a bit

"And why am I suppose to believe you, you know we have had all sorts of Feds here pretending to be all sorts of things, although this one would take the cake if it was fake, none the less why should I believe you?"

"Because you are a man who goes on instincts, I can tell and I can tell you believe me, that your gut is telling you that I am telling the truth. You could always ask your niece although see seems to be pissed at me at the moment and being stubborn, so she might not tell you or tell you the truth."

"Well... my gut is telling me something about you, not sure what it is, haven't quite put my finger on it, maybe I believe you, and say I did and you turned out to be just as bad if not worse than the others, I wont take kindly to it, Natalie is the closest thing I have to a daughter she and I are extremely close and if I was to ask her about you she would tell me the truth, she tells me everything, like when she fell in love with that asshole Vega and why she named her son what she did." Bo told John and John was a bit confused by that last part of his statement but ignored it for now.

"So, does that mean we can work together on this for your nieces sake or what? Cause for some reason the FBI is keeping me in the dark about this case, so maybe together we can figure things out" John asked him and Bo nodded.

Bo told him everything he knew about the case and John informed Bo of all the stuff the FBI has given him which wasn't anymore than Bo knew, they worked on it a bit for several hours and Bo could tell the type of person John was by how he acted, how he talked about Natalie, John even commented on his great nephew CJ. Bo didn't want to admit it but he was starting to like John and like him a lot.

John was just getting ready to leave the station, it was around 7, he didn't get much more info than they already knew and he was starving when Bo approached him.

"I'm heading over to get some dinner at Capricorn, if you don't have plans why don't you join me?" he asked and John accepted.

John and Bo walked into Capricorn and John spotted her the minute he walked in, she was with a few man and she was laughing, he stood frozen as he saw how beautiful she looked. He saw the back of one of the men approach her, he watched as she went with the man out onto the dance floor to dance to a slow dance, John felt the jealously build up inside of him and instead of following Bo to a table he approached her and the guy on the dance floor, he tapped the man on the shoulder roughly and aggressively as the man turned.

"Johnny is that you?" Michael McBain asked as John looked on at him stunned to see his brother that he hadn't seen to years stand in front of him, in front of him and dancing with Natalie.