Chapter Nineteen
Dean woke up late. He slowly opened his eyes, dazzled by the bright light streaming through the window. The curtain was open and Cas was gone. Dean sat up, baffled, and checked his watch.
'Ten?' he muttered. 'What?' He rubbed his face and winced, and unexpected stinging radiating from his cheek. He ran a finger down his face, more carefully this time, and found that he'd gouged his own skin in his sleep. He sighed, then wandered downstairs to find Mary, but the house was empty.
Perturbed, Dean went to the kitchen for something to eat, and found a note stuck to the fridge door.
Dean
Cas switched off your alarm, he thought you should stay in bed for a while and it was so sweet I couldn't argue with him. I'm at a care meeting so I'll be out for the morning.
Enjoy your lie in sleepyhead
Love from Mom xx
Dean smiled and pulled out his phone to message Cas.
Dean
Thanks for letting me sleep
Cas
You're welcome
I hope you're feeling better
Dean
Much
I'll come pick u up after track
Cas
See you then
:)
Dean smiled to himself. He had to admit that Tessa had been right. Sharing with even one person felt like a weight off his shoulders and he felt lighter than he had in weeks.
With the house to himself, he almost didn't know what to do with himself, at least until he found himself thinking about Cas in his gym clothes again and went back to his room, happy to indulge himself in some alone time without the need to sneak around and finish quickly.
With the last of his stress relieved, Dean was finally able to focus properly, and caught up on his homework.
Mary arrived just as Dean was helping himself to a sandwich, and she placed a fresh pie on the table.
'Hi, honey,' she said, hugging him. 'Feeling better?'
'Yeah, thanks,' Dean said, sitting at the table while she made coffee. 'So, care meeting for Cas?'
Mary sighed. 'Yeah, pretty much just transferring responsibility to me and your dad officially. Making sure we get the next steps done.'
'Which are?'
'Firstly, making sure he gets his college applications done. You should really be thinking about that too, you know,' she said pointedly.
Dean gulped. 'Yeah. Right.'
A few hours of relaxed afternoon passed until Dean sped towards the school in the Impala to pick Cas up from track. His hair was fluffy and still slightly damp, and his scent was as intoxicating as always.
'Good practice?' Dean asked, rolling down the window slightly.
'Yes, thank you,' said Cas. 'You look better.'
'Thanks,' Dean grinned.
Once home, Cas took off his shoes and put away his bag, then nervously approached Mary fiddling with the cuffs of his red hoodie.
'Um… Mrs Winchester?'
'Oh, Mary, honey. What's up?
'Well… It's the state championship in a couple weeks, I wondered if - if - um - could my friend Charlie come to visit? I'd really like her to watch me.'
Mary's face lit up. 'Of course she can!'
Cas looked relieved.
'Will she be all right on an airbed?'
'Absolutely,' Cas smiled. 'Are you all right with it, Dean?'
Dean grinned. 'For sure, I'd love to meet Charlie.'
Cas beamed at him, and he thought he might melt on the spot. Cas excitedly ran upstairs, phone in hand, to let Charlie know the good news.
Dean felt ready to return to school by the next morning, and was surprisingly optimistic.
Rhonda was waiting for them in homeroom, and though Dean's stomach dropped slightly, Cas's quiet fury and disgust at her acted as a shield. It almost made him wish he'd said something sooner.
'Please get off my desk,' Cas said shortly as he sat down.
Rhonda's eyebrows rose. 'What?'
'I want you to get off my desk and leave me alone,' he said, grinding his teeth.
Rhonda smiled sweetly. 'Come on, Cas, we're friends,' she said, tossing her hair slightly.
'No, we're not,' Cas snapped. 'Go away.'
'But-'
'He said go away,' Jo interrupted, narrowing her eyes.
'I wasn't talking to you,' Rhonda said coldly.
'But I was,' Cas said. 'I asked you to leave.'
Rhonda just stared at him, stunned, until Mrs Neilsen entered the room.
'Sit down please, Rhonda,' she said briskly.
'I am sitting down,' Rhonda snarked.
'In a seat,' Mrs Neilsen said firmly. 'There's a desk back there, go and sit down.'
Rhonda threw her a nasty look and stomped the only desk left at the back of the room.
Mrs Neilsen smiled at Cas, then went on with the roll call, and let them relax for the rest of homeroom.
'Cas, can I talk to you a minute?' she said as the bell rang, and the rest of them began filing out of the room.
Dean looked over his shoulder and stopped just outside the door. 'You guys go ahead, I'll wait for Cas.'
Jo and Crowley exchanged confused looks before walking away, though Kevin didn't notice anything different.
Dean leaned on the wall, just out of sight.
'Is everything all right?' he heard Cas say nervously.
'Yes, I just wanted a word in private… The staff have heard some quite serious allegations concerning one of the students in this class. I wanted to ask if you had been affected at all? I've seen that the… person in question… has been - let's say friendly - with you. We weren't given a name as to who she was - inappropriate with - but you can tell me if she's done anything to you, I can help-'
'No ma'am,' Cas said, politely, but with an edge. 'Pardon me for saying, but if you weren't given the name of the person she was inappropriate with, then perhaps there's a reason for that.'
Mrs Neilsen didn't answer, shocked into silence.
'They clearly didn't want it getting out, especially with their name, so please don't ask me - or anyone - again.' Cas didn't wait for her to respond. He stormed from the classroom, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Dean waiting outside.
They both stood, staring at each other for a moment.
'Thanks,' Dean murmured, and Cas nodded. Even though Dean had given Tessa permission to alert the school, he hadn't expected them to take it so seriously. He went through the rest of the day feeling eyes on him, whether they were there or not.
Dean distracted himself by looking at colleges, and by the weekend he and Cas were beginning to tackle their applications.
He was making a list of application fees for the places he wanted to apply for, and a thought occurred to him. 'Hey, do you need any help?' he asked, looking up at Cas on his side of the room.
'What?'
'This stuff comes with a lot of fees, I can pay for that, if you want, I mean.'
Cas suddenly looked uncomfortable. 'Um… no thank you, Dean.'
Dean nodded, but he thought more about college costs. 'Are you gonna be okay? Are you gonna get loans or something for your tuition?'
Cas looked even more uncomfortable and glanced at the closed bedroom door. 'Can I tell you something in confidence?'
'Yeah, of course,' Dean said, getting up and sitting on Cas's bed, so he wouldn't have to talk across the room. 'What's up?'
Cas hesitated.
'Whatever it is, if you're not ready to say, you don't have to,' Dean said gently.
Cas shook his head. 'It's okay, it's just that I've never really told anyone. People knew, but I've never… Anyway… I'm going to be fine at college. My father was an investment banker, and he was very good at it. We - my siblings and I - all have a trust fund. Locked up tight until we turned eighteen,' Cas told him. 'It's enough to cover college and its associated costs, as well as an internship if we wanted to do one.'
Dean whistled. 'Wow, that's great, Cas,' he said. 'It's nice that things are gonna be a bit easier for you.'
Cas looked surprised. 'I - I suppose.'
'You never told anyone? Maybe someone could have helped you get it sooner.'
Cas gave a wry smile and shook his head. 'It doesn't work like that in care. The only way of accessing it before I turned eighteen was if a guardian was appointed and it went through them. I couldn't trust anyone to do it, not in the system.'
'What about your brother?'
Cas sighed deeply. 'No, not even him. I love Gabriel, but he has a problem. He blew most of his quite quickly. Gambling. It was hard to see him go down that path, but I had to protect myself.'
'I understand.'
Cas looked down at his lap. 'That - that's actually why I had to leave my last place,' he admitted.
'Oh?'
'We never got along, not really. They kept to themselves and so did I. I was only going to be there a couple years at most, so no one really made much effort. But then they found out about my fund. I don't know how, but they did. They decided they were going to adopt me and become the appointed guardians of my fund. I fought against it, of course, but no one would listen…' Cas stopped and wiped his face. 'The day I had to leave, I - I kind of lost it.'
'What happened?' Dean asked softly, hand protectively on Cas's knee.
'They stole my only family photo,' Cas explained, his voice constricting. 'They threw it away and said I didn't need it because they were my family now.' Cas cleared his throat. 'I don't know, I just snapped. I don't really remember… I know I yelled a lot and threw things out of their cabinets and drawers looking for it. But then he hit me… and he kept hitting me…'
Dean squeezed Cas's leg.
'I ran away. Called the cops, got removed and here I am,' Cas finished bitterly.
Dean scooted closer to him. 'I'm sorry that happened to you,' he said sympathetically.
Cas sighed. 'Maybe if I'd kept my cool things would have been different.'
'Hey, don't say that, it's not your fault,' Dean said firmly. 'It doesn't matter how upset you were, no one should put their hands on you. Okay?'
Cas nodded.
'Thank you for trusting me with that,' Dean said, nudging him with an elbow until he smiled. 'Seems like you needed to get it off your chest.'
'It's easier to talk about now that I have control of it,' Cas admitted.
'I get it, but just to make it clear, you're safe here,' Dean told him. 'None of us want your money, I promise.'
'I know,' Cas smiled, nudging Dean back. 'In a way, I'm glad it happened. I got to come here and meet you, at least.'
Dean grinned, blushing. 'Well, I am charming. I make a great silver lining.'
Cas chuckled.
'I'm glad you got to come here too,' Dean told him. 'I wish you didn't have to go through so much to get here though.'
Cas turned slightly pink and shuffled away. 'I should get back to this,' he mumbled, looking anywhere but at Dean.
Dean took his cue to get up and give Cas some space, returning to his own side of the room, warm butterflies blooming in his chest.
By Sunday night, Dean had completed two applications. He knew his transcript had been inconsistent to say the least, but he hoped his personal essays would make up for it, as well as the experience he had at John's garage.
Dean and Cas walked into school in high spirits on Monday, until all the seniors were called to an urgent assembly in the gym.
'What's going on?' Jo asked.
'Got me,' Dean shrugged, sitting down in one of the hastily arranged seats, saving Cas one on the aisle.
Voices buzzed throughout the room speculating on what was going on, until everyone had found a seat. Mr Jackson, the principal, strode into the room looking grim. He switched on the projector and microphone, and all the teachers stood around the edge of the room.
'Settle down, everyone,' Mr Jackson said through the microphone, and the room fell silent. 'Let me begin by saying that I'm disappointed in some of you. I would have thought, as seniors, we wouldn't need to have this discussion, but here we are. Since some of you need reminding, today we're going to talk about consent.'
A groan rippled around the room, but Dean's blood ran cold, and he saw Cas glance at him out of the corner of his eye. This had to be because he'd let Tessa contact the school. He knew he should be grateful they were all taking it so seriously, but at that moment, he wished he were anywhere but in that seat. His whole body tensed, and he balled his fists on his knees. With nowhere to go, he had to force himself to sit still and pretend everything was fine.
As Mr Jackson talked, painfully slowly, Dean dug his fingernails into his palms. He jumped slightly as Cas put a hand over Dean's, and took an exaggerated deep breath. Dean followed his lead, trying not to draw attention to himself.
Mr Jackson soldiered on, his disdain cutting through the increasingly solemn atmosphere in the room.
'Now that we've established that no does, in fact, mean no,' he said angrily. 'Can-'
'This is stupid,' Rhonda hissed loudly. She got to her feet, but Mr Jackson snapped at her.
'Sit down, Miss Hurley, this assembly is mandatory.' His voice rang through the room, amplified by both the microphone and the uncomfortable silence.
Even Rhonda did not dare ignore him, and she sat down rolling her eyes.
'See me in my office when we're done here,' he said sternly. 'Now, as I was saying: if you have already agreed to sexual activity, can you change your mind?' He looked at them all expectantly, and a 'yes' was murmured throughout. 'That's right,' Mr Jackson continued. 'You absolutely can change your mind.'
Dean closed his eyes. His chest constricted and he couldn't shake the feeling of fabric filling his mouth and nose. Cas squeezed his hand and he focused on that instead of the presentation. He didn't hear much else of what Mr Jackson said, letting the warmth of Cas's hand consume his thoughts instead, until Cas nudged him gently with a foot so he could catch the end of the presentation.
'Now then, if I ever hear of anything untoward, any concerning behaviour at all, from any of you, we'll be having a meeting with your parents and seriously considering whether or not you have a place at this school. Do you all understand?'
There was a general mumbling of agreement, but this wasn't good enough for Mr Jackson.
'I said, do you all understand?'
'Yes, sir,' came the resounding reply.
'That's better. You're all free to go, except for you, Rhonda.'
A loud scraping of chairs as people stood up, followed by low, less than enthusiastic chatter, filled what had previously been silence.
To his horror, Dean discovered that his knees were shaking too hard to allow him to stand up, and Jo gave him a questioning look.
'You all right?' she asked. 'You look pale.'
Dean nodded. 'Bad breakfast,' he mumbled.
'You guys go ahead,' Cas said.
Jo shrugged. 'You should go to the nurse,' she said, before following Kevin and Crowley out.
'Take your time,' Cas murmured.
Dean forced himself to take a breath, one after the other, and wiggled his fingers, then his toes. He felt Cas's hand on his shoulder and allowed his muscles to relax. First his shoulders, radiating from Cas's touch, all the way down his back, and finally unclenched his hands. Dean nodded. 'Okay. Let's go,' he said, though his voice was weak. In that moment, he hated how pathetic he sounded. He slowly got to his feet and walked out, but ducked behind a corner and leaned against the wall where no one could see him.
'That wasn't nice,' Cas said sympathetically. 'They should have warned us.'
Dean shook his head. 'Anyone who needed to hear it wouldn't have come,' he said, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans.
'Do you want to go home?'
'No, no, I'm okay,' Dean said. 'I'm just gonna go hang out with the nurse for a while.'
Cas nodded. 'All right.'
'Hey - um - thanks. You really helped me - in there.'
Cas smiled. 'You're welcome. I'll walk you to the nurse.'
To Dean's surprise, Cas looped an arm through his, and the knots in Dean's stomach untied themselves as Cas walked him through the school. Cas said goodbye at the nurse's door, but Dean watched him walk away before he went inside, already feeling miles better.
See you next time :)
