This came to me oddly while listening to the happiest song in the world. Or the oddest, whichever comes first.

Anyway, mild Angst for all my lovelies out there.

Pairings: Mild RoyxEd

Rated: I'll say K, just because there's nothing bad in this to be considered T

Disclaimer: this would be an extreamly sad episode ifI did own, not to mentionI wouldn't be writing ABOUT it, it'd be in the show.

Reviews are adored.


Pain & Forgiveness


Roy felt trapped inside the walls of his mind.

Lightning flashed outside, casting his shadow against the wall. Thunder soon barked at it's heels, rumbling across the sky like drums. Rain pattered the windows relentlessly, making anything outside it hardly visable.

Everynight he was alone he cried. Always, when no one was around to see him at his weakest moment.

Everynight he would try and free himself from the chains that kept him from running.

And the door that kept his memories locked inside, replaying over and over again.

The black haired alchemist sat huddled in a corner, hands griping his hair as he struggled with the pain racing through him. Pain of years gone past, scars from old battle wounds searing like flames, tourturing his allready ripped sanity.

Sobs escaped him, his shoulders trembling like a leaf in a gale "Please..I didn't mean anything...I didn't want to...it's not my fault..." he whimpered, begging to be released from his torment.

Nothing could relieve him from the ache he felt inside. But each passing day sent him closer to the edge of the abyss. He'd escaped death before, only by murdering hundreds.

"I never wanted to kill anyone..."

They called that a 'Dog eat Dog world' but just merely bringing up the thoughts of the memories of the Ishbalan war made his stomach heave, and bile rise in his throat. He remembered killing the two doctors who'd helped so many people, and then losing it. He remembered every face of every person who met theire death at his hands.

"Stop...stop showing me what I've done...I can't take this...I can't..."

He'd almost puled the trigger on himself after that.

When he lost Maes, his sanity was shreaded again though he never showed it.

And now. Everything was crashing down around him.

"Just let me go..."

He felt terribly alone. He felt like any moment he'd die begging someone for forgiveness, knowing he could beg for eternity and never truly make up for all the people he had killed in the past.

The door to his apartement below creaked open, though he paid no attention to it, still whispering to himself about wanting to be forgiven.

"Forgive me..."

He almost screamed as a hand rested gently on his shoulder.

Tear filled onyx eyes looked up into softgold ones, and he let out a shaky breath, his form still racked with sobs, pale face streaked from crying. Two smaller hands, one of cold steel, the other soft and warm, pulled his hands down from their spot nearly ripping his hair out, and Ed's lithe form fitted snuggly against him and the younger blond tried to ease his lovers pain. It was never easy for him to watch or listen to Roy's suffering, he'd done so so many times he'd lost count. Usualy, he'd sit downstaires, listening to the pitifull whimpers and cries, heart aching as he thought about what theman had gone through.

He felt the other calm slightly and began softly stroaking raven black hair, whisperingfour words ever so softly.

"I forgive you, Roy"

And those words were enough to return a glimmer of hope in Roy's painedeyes.


sniffle there, done

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