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Chapter 19

John returned five minutes later with CJ and a Bottle. Natalie lay in her bed and watched john as he walked in with her son. She was mesmerized by him holding her boy as he took his bottle, she smiled, she couldn't believe it, he still loved her, she still loved him after all these years, after all this heartache, all the heart ache and drama she had been enduring the past two years, he was her silver inning. He came and brought CJ in the bed next to her, and he got back in bed with them now.

"Morning Mommy's boy, how are you?" she asked CJ as she reached over and kissed him, she pulled him towards her a bit more as the boy drank, he smiled back at her as he sat there in between the two of them. They both watched CJ drink his bottle in silence for a few minutes when Natalie spoke.

"I can't believe it, I'm so sorry, I mean. I know I said it last night but I really am so very sorry... about giving you such a hard time, about being with the FBI, I never should have doubted who you were inside and even how you felt, even after you told me" she told him apologizing again.

"I'm quitting you know"

"What?" she asked softly, trying not to form a smile on her face as he too sat up in the bed, they both looked passed CJ in between them and locked eyes.

"When this is all over, not sure maybe I should just do it now, but all I know is I don't need to believe in that dream anymore. I would have already, that is quit but... I'm still confused about whether I should now or wait till I can get us Feds off your back. Maybe if I'm still one of them, maybe I can figure this out faster, easier even, and then... then we can put all them hassling you and CJ away and for good. I...I don't want you to have to worry about it, you know, them, I just want so to be happy"

"John, I'm not sure how I'm going to feel if you give up your dream for me, or if you were to resent me for doing it later on in life."

"You still don't get it do you? The thing is...I'd give up all my dreams for you, to be with you, back then and now, you are so much more important than that dream, you always were." he said and she crawled passed her son on the bed, she went to him on his side, she kneel on the bed in front of him, teary eyes and she leaned in and kissed him.

"John, you really mean that don't you?" she asked and he nodded his head and took quick kiss before sitting back some and looking back into her eye's.

"I need to tell you something about that night, the night you... you" Natalie started to tell him and he cut her words off

"I know, I know Nat, I ran into Kenny yesterday while I was in AC getting info on your case, he told me the truth" he told her and she was shocked for a minute there.

"John...I need to tell you the rest, the rest of it, the part he didn't know about...what you saw... what you think you saw... it was a con, I mean... that guy...Mark, he was a old friend and we... he and I... I never slept with him, I... I... couldn't do that, that's just not me" she told him and he smiled, he reached over and took her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it, he continued to hold it.

"I know, I'm ashamed to say I hadn't figured it out sooner, all those years earlier but once Kenny told me, I kinda figured you conned me into believing it." he said as he smiled again. They sat for a minute staring at each other when he picked her hand that he was still holding up, he looked at it, it was her left hand.

"I think we need to get you a ring," he told he and she smiled.

"Why don't we go shop for one today" he asked her as she continued to smile, she grabbed his other hand and pulled him into her for a kiss, they were still kissing when they felt CJ crawl himself in between them and start to tug on Natalie. They pulled apart and laughed

"I guess he's gonna have to get use to sharing me huh?' she said as she pulled her boy in for a hug, she kissed his head and the boy tried to wiggle out of her arms.

"So... how about going for that ring today, its Sunday, you don't have to work do you?"

"No, I don't have to work but... but... how about you go tomorrow for that ring and surprise me, today... today lets just stay in bed all day" she told him and he smiled as CJ started crawling towards the edge of the bed, John was closest so he grabbed him before you fell off onto the floor.

"Yeah... I don't think us staying in bed all day is going to work," he said and he laughed.

'I guess you could be right" she said as she too laughed

"But... he does take a two hour nap in the afternoon, we could just hang around here, relax, catch up on things till then, then we can nap to" she said with a devilish smile on her face.

"That sounds good, we'll really need that nap, " he said with a grin.

Natalie started to get off the bed, she had already thrown her nightgown back on earlier when he went for the bottle and CJ, she was about to take CJ from his arms when she heard her phone ring. She paused for a minute as to decide if she should answer it and she did.

"Hello, Yeah Hi Jess, what? Oh Kevin and Kelly's anniversary party, tonight? No, no I didn't forget, six at the Palace, We'll be there, thanks, Bye" she watched him the whole time she was on the phone; he was smiling and playing with CJ.

"Ummm... are you... I mean"

"So we're having dinner at the Palace tonight? That's great, I can't wait to meet the future in-laws," he told her in his joking voice, she smiled

"You sure? Sure you want to do this, come tonight? Marry me even?" she asked getting a bit nervous and insecure. He nodded his head yes and she leaned into the bed, kissed him quickly, grabbed CJ from him and then took him inside to get him dressed for the day.

Forty -five Minutes later Natalie and CJ came down the stairs to the smell of Bacon. They walked into the kitchen to see him cooking breakfast.

"Oh My Gosh, that smells terrific, you're still a good cook huh?" she asked and he smiled, he motioned for her to sit and she did, she put CJ in his hi chair and they all ate breakfast.

A little while after breakfast, they took CJ in the living room and put him down in the pack and play to play with his toys as they sat on the couch, they looked at each other, they knew, they both knew if they were going to make this work, build there life together now, they needed it Fed free, Chris free, they needed to talk. John needed to know everything there was to know about Christian Vega, and Natalie needed to trust him enough to tell him every little miserable detail of her relationship and brief marriage to him.

"Where should I start?" she told him and he smiled knowing how good they still knew each other, still being able to know what the other was thinking, well most of the time anyways.

"Start at the beginning. Where and how you became involved with Chris Vega," he told her and she took a deep breath.

Natalie proceeded to tell him how she met Chris at his mothers diner in town, how she was still missing him, missing John although it had been a few years since she had seen him, since he had left, she told him about there on again, off again courtship, even his painting, his beautiful paintings which she later learned was smuggling drugs to clients for Flynn Lawrence.

Natalie said she was unaware of his dealings with Flynn till that night in Vegas, the night of the tournament, two nights after there wedding night, he night Chris was taken by Flynn and killed, the night the Feds just let Flynn take him away and didn't even try to stop them. She informed John of how they locked her up that night, the Feds, they held he in some room at there headquarters, no food, no water, no nothing for at least 36 hrs, and the only way they even let her go then was because her family pulled in every connection they had, he uncle went to some buddy who use to be in charge of the bureau or something, "Davies" she told him, I think that was his name.

Natalie continued to tell John of the horrible way they treated her as if she was some sort of criminal, as if she was apart of this, of it, questioning her over and over about some recording, a recording they kept insisting she must have had.

"I was even having morning sickness, I knew I was pregnant, only about a month and I told one of them, they just ignored me, and kept me there"

She explained how one of the Agents was kind to her, she couldn't remember his name, he tried to explain things nicely to her and asked her nicely but then... then after she swore she didn't know anything about it, the agent got mad, angry, she was conned, tricked, and it wasn't the only time they had tricked her, they had sent several agents over the eighteen months to Llanview, a few even worked undercover at BE to try and get close to her, she even interviewed one for a babysitter for CJ. She told him how it was Roxy with her Cop senses who picked them out fairly early before they got to deeply into there role.

John just sat and watched as he saw the pain flash across her face, over and over as she told of there cruelty towards her, he even had to get up for a moment and walk around the room to not show his rage when she spoke about them showing up in the delivery room when she was having her son. Although Michael had told him of that he still felt her pain more as she told it, she stood strong thru it she told him.

"I ignored them...I mean... I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of taking the joyous occasion of my sons birth from me, I was in to much pain anyways, so I pretended they weren't there, and you know what... I did it, I found some kind of inner strength and stayed strong...until... well I didn't really lose it til I brought my son home, til CJ and I walked into the house with Rex, the whole house was trashed, everything I set up for Cj was destroyed, the nursery was almost destryoyed to, almost like a warning, like bullies trying to intimidte me, that was when I lost it, not sure, probaly had something to do with my hormones but how dare they, I mean, come into my home, my house, I mean, they had trashed it before but.. But it was different when I was brining my son home, to start of lives together."

Natalie took a break after that part of the story, she was wiped out, exhausted, he took his hand and pushed a piece of her hair that had fallen in her face away.

"I'm sorry," he said as he stared at her and her teary eye's, his too were a bit teary

"You have nothing to be sorry about"

"Yes I do, I wasn't here to help you, to even stop them, if I didn't go all those years ago..."

"And if I didn't trick you to go, it's not important John"

"Yeah, but I can't help being sorry, If I wouldn't have gone, you never would have met Chris, CJ would be my son in blood right now"

"John, You did go, I forced you to go, I did met Chris, and CJ isn't your son by blood, I wasn't ready to have a CJ back then, I wasn't ready for a forever with you or anyone and... and well... CJ may not be your son by blood but he was always yours in my heart" she told him and he smiled, his eyes swelled up with tears and he kissed her just as they heard CJ scream from the Pack and play to get there attention. They broke off their kiss and smiled at each other as they John got up off the couch, he went over to the Boy, CJ had his hands already out for John to take him, John took him out and he looked at him as he was in his arms.

"I'm your dad CJ, I won't let anything happen to you or your mom, I promise"