DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Ratchet or Perceptor. They just came over from Hasbro to visit and be general pains-in-the-aft. Aegis is from Mechamorphosis, which belongs to Fantasy Flight Games. Slipstone and all the humans in the story are mine. The dog, Rags, is mine too.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a character sketch I wrote to get a feel for some of the NPCs in a Mechamorphosis game I'm creating. All the TFs mentioned in the story are Exiles. They have only been on Earth a few months. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are in Alternator form; they have never been Lambos. Aegis looks like Machine Wars Sandstorm. Ok, on to the story.
DREAMS
The femme laughed as she ran. He laughed as well, enjoying this game. He chased after her through the park. He caught her and took her into his arms. She laughed again, smiling up at him. He smiled back, reveling in her softness. He reached up to touch her hair…
WAITAMINUTE!
Soft! Hair? With a startled yelp Sunstreaker threw himself out of stasis rest. He sat up in the darkness, pulling air into his intakes to cool his speeding systems.
What a horrible dream!
That's when he realized that though he had woken himself up, the dream continued, unabated.
With a low growl, he threw himself to his feet and looking every bit of the Lord of Destruction that he was, glared at his resting twin on the upper bunk. Swift as a striking snake, he seized his brother by the shoulder and yanked him off the bunk.
CRASH!
Sideswipe scrambled to his feet and stood at battle ready. Seeing only his brother glaring at him in the darkness, he lowered his fists and stood there in sleepy confusion.
"You were projecting again moron. If you want to have sick, perverted dreams, kindly keep them to yourself. I like to be able to wake up from my nightmares."
Sideswipe blinked. "Uhm… what was I dreaming about?"
"Gah! Use that sorry excuse for a CPU and think back."
"Ah… ok, it's coming back to me now. What's your problem?"
"What's my problem? What's my problem? My problem is my twisted brother keeps sharing his perverted, impossible fantasies about alien women with me. I – " Sunstreaker never got to finish.
"What do you mean impossible? Humans can make love."
"Don't you know anything? They can't do it like we do."
"Then how do they do it, smart-aft? Betcha you don't know either."
Sunstreaker groaned. He didn't want to be having this conversation, ESPECIALLY at two in the morning. He was sincerely grateful he didn't have offspring where he would actually have to answer that question.
"That's a bet I should take, dumb-aft. I do know. I paid attention when Judy and Andre explained it to Ratchet, Perceptor and Slipstone. You can ask one of them TOMORROW. Just let me know when, so I can watch you explain why you want to know." With that, Sunstreaker climbed back onto his berth. Sideswipe shrugged and climbed back onto his berth as well.
Sunstreaker tried to shut back down into stasis rest again but a thought kept nagging him. Sighing, he rolled back over. Might as well ask and get it over with. He was already awake.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Sideswipe responded sleepily.
"Why are you dreaming about shagging a human? I don't see the appeal."
"I've always liked small and pretty. And they give great wax jobs, as you well know."
Ask a stupid question. Sunstreaker shook his head. And people thought he was the crazy one.
"Small and pretty, eh? So who is it you are 'waxing' over?"
Sideswipe leaned down over the edge of the bunk to glare suspiciously at his brother. It would have been more effective if he weren't upside down; instead the effect was a little comical.
"Why do you want to know?"
Sunstreaker smirked. He had the upper hand in this verbal battle.
"So maybe I could give them fair warning. Small and pretty? I should warn Gwen to lock up her daughter."
"Now wait just a slagging minute! And you are calling me twisted!" The normally genial twin was a little incensed with the implied accusation.
Sunstreaker ignored him and continued. "And her dog too."
With a growl, Sideswipe somehow managed to propel himself off the top bunk and pounce on Sunstreaker in one smooth movement. He proceeded to try to pound his brother while Sunstreaker, who was laughing too hard to mount a counterattack, managed to block most of his blows. They fell off Sunstreaker's bunk and onto the floor where they rolled around wrestling and cursing until they bumped into something that felt suspiciously like a foot. They looked up to see Aegis looking down at them, arms crossed.
"Hey Aegis."
"Yeah. How was your trip?"
Aegis fixed them with his best "the guy in charge is not amused" look.
"The trip was fine. I am a little tired from the flight back though and I find that I'm unable to rest. Care to tell me why?"
Sunstreaker grinned, surprising Aegis. That smile usually was found on the red Viper, not the yellow.
"Well Sides here hrmph…" Sideswipe hurriedly put a hand over Sunstreaker's vocalizer.
"Just brother stuff Aegis. Nothing really. Sorry for waking you. Won't happen again."
Aegis looked from one brother to the next, weighing his next words carefully. He really was too tired to want to deal with a couple of grown mechs acting like sparklings. And the smiling mirth on Sunstreaker's face was so rare, he didn't want to do anything to lose it.
"Fine. Keep the noise down or you'll be spending tomorrow with Ratchet."
"Will do."
"Okey-dokey."
"Goodnight then." With that, Aegis left to get his much needed rest.
Sideswipe turned a supremely annoyed look towards his still chuckling twin as they picked themselves up off the floor.
"You don't actually think –"
"Of course not. It's just fun getting a rise outa you."
"Hmph." Sideswipe crawled back onto his bunk.
Sunstreaker chuckled some more. It was so much fun razzing Sideswipe, mainly because it was so hard to do, even for him. And he wasn't done yet.
"So who is she?"
"Slag off and go to sleep."
"C'mon Sides. Give."
The red Viper let out a huff of exasperation. "Fine. But only if you tell me how humans make love."
"Fair enough." This should be good. He was awake enough now to remember something he could use as an example. "You first."
"Fine." The red Viper sighed. "Tonight it was Lucy."
"Lucy? Tonight? You mean…"
"That I dream about others too? Yeah. Except for Andrea and Rags of course."
"Ok, ok, I believe you." Sunstreaker realized that Sideswipe wasn't being weird, he was just lonely in a way that Sunstreaker could never ease.
"Yeah? Well smart-aft it's your turn. Answer my question." Sideswipe rolled over and stared at his twin with a challenging look.
Sunstreaker winced. He didn't want to tease Sideswipe anymore but he did agree to explain. "Ok. But remember, you asked for it."
"Spit it out already."
"Remember when you went to that petting zoo with Gwen and family?"
"Yeah."
"Remember those llamas you told me about." Sunstreaker leaned on the edge of the bunk.
"Yeah. Gwen said they were making baby llamas."
"They were making llama love."
"Ooohkay. What does that have to do – "
"Humans aren't much different."
Sideswipe's optics went wide. He stared at his brother, vocalizer struggling to form a coherent sound. Sunstreaker stared back, nodding solemnly.
"But llamas are just animals!" Sideswipe finally managed.
"Humans are advanced animals. They'll tell you so themselves."
Sideswipe looked like the coolant supply to his CPU had stopped. "Eeww!"
"Yup."
"Ugh."
"Yup."
"Glah."
"Yup."
Another idea paged for priority in Sideswipe's thought processes. "Human babies…"
"Yes, the same way."
"Gah!" Sideswipe's optics somehow managed to get wider. "That would mean Gwen… agh!"
"More than once too. Seeing as she has Andrea already."
Sideswipe was looking decidedly ill. Had he been human, there would have been a greenish cast to his features. Sunstreaker cuffed him lightly.
"Don't say I didn't warn you loverboy. Good night and sweet dreams."
"Slag off, will you?"
Sunstreaker smirked to himself as he crawled back into his bunk to finally get some quality downtime.
