Disclaimer: This one will be better. Just don't be so stupid as to think that I own anything in this story.

Chapter 2 Crazy Hand's plan unfurls!


Now the plan is simple. Kidnap anybody that is considered royalty or is royalty in the minds of their fans. That includes of course Peach and Zelda. But then we cannot forget Ganondorf! And lets throw in those anime Jackasses Marth and Roy just for the hell of it.

Ok, first off is Ganondorf!


Now lets have it make sense. Pichu normally wouldn't be able to kidnap somebody like Ganondorf. But he has a dumbass writer and Link on his side.

"How the hell am I meant to kidnap the infamous King of Evil?" Said Pichu to Crazy Hand, "That being Ganondorf!"

"What?" Replied Crazy Hand who had forgotten that Pichu even existed. "Oh, talk to some dude in green. His names Link."

"And how do I get to Hyrule to meet the Hero of Time?" Asked Pichu with a hint of Sarcasm in his voice.

"Oh you're still here?"

"..."

"Fine."

And in saying so crazy hand inadvertently grabbed Pichu and violently chucked him towards Zelda's castle.


"CHUUUU!" Screamed Pichu as he flew threw the air towards the courtyard that Link was in. Sadly though he missed and wound up slapping into the actual castle, making a loud Crack!

"Chu..." Pichu managed to say before slipping down to the ground, wherein he was crushed in just a little more. Luckily for Pichu the courtyard was filled with fairies that of course, healed him fully.

"Well that was a tad strange." Said Pichu as he looked around the courtyard for Link. "There he is."

"Uh..." Said Link as Pichu approached. "Are you some evil creature that has come to kidnap the Princess?"

"Nah." Replied Pichu. "You must be Link. I need your help in finding Ganondorf."

"Meh." Said Link, already bored. "He's probably in his dessert doing whatever the hell Kings of Evil do. I'll take him to you if you want, his guards aren't really that tough."

"Ok." Said Pichu as he climbed aboard Link's horse, Epona.

And so they set off to the Gerudo's Fortress. Which was actually just across the field.

"Ok." Said Link when they arrived at the Fortress's entrance. He then pulled out his bow and showed it to Pichu. "You ever used one of these before?"

"Yah, kinda..." Said Pichu as he remembered the great Pokemon vs. Digimon war.

"Good." Said Link. "Just shoot one of the Guards and they'll be knocked out for a little while."

"Ok." Said Pichu as he pulled out a cross-bow from out of nowhere.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Asked Link, confused.

"Well I'm to small to use that big thing and people keep throwing these weird balls at me."

"So you shoot them right?" Asked Link

"Nah I usually just eat parts of their legs and some of their arms."

"O...K..." Replied Link. "Just shoot the guards and get inside. You'll find Ganondorf somewhere in there."

So Pichu aimed at one of the female Gerudo guards and fired right at its neck. Thus the Gerudo fell down to the ground trying to stop the flow of blood shooting out of her neck, all the while making strange chocking noises.

"Oh shit." Said Link, shocked. "That was not supposed to happen."

"Well what else did you expect?" Asked Pichu, surprised at Link's reaction. "I did shoot it with a frikin' arrow."

"Yah but... They're... Not... Supposed to die..." Said Link freaking out, because he had rarely seen any actual blood in his life. "Here try this. This usually stuns enemies."

So Link handed Pichu his Longshot (Hookshot if you're all confuzled) and proceeded to shoot at a different guard. This of course resulted in the ripping off of the poor Gerudo's arm. Blood spurted out of the wound as the guard ran around screaming, thus alarming all of the other guards.

"What's wrong?" Asked Pichu before he started gnawing at the arm he had stolen. "You look like you just saw your mom naked or something."

Just then Link passed out. Too much violence I suppose. But sadly, to our utter dismay, Link had the rest of his Ocarina of Time weapons in his shirt of infinite space.

"Oo... What's this?" Pichu asked to himself as he pulled out Din's fire, a cool little crystal used to burn everything around you.

"Yay its all shiny!" Said Pichu as he happily rolled around on the ground playing with it.

But sadly he got a little to exited and wound up burning himself a little.

"Grr." Said Pichu losing his temper. "I hate you!"

So Pichu chucked the magical crystal into one of the doorways of the Gerudo's fortress. Then laughed as he saw dozens of Gerudo's running to the outside on fire. Then he proceeded into the fortress to slaughter whatever else was still alive in there, and of course to find Ganondorf.

Eventually Pichu stumbled into the kitchen where Ganondorf was. He was just sitting there eating cookie dough when Pichu walked in and pulled out his crossbow.

"Alright Ganondorf." Said Pichu as he powered up his Crossbow's bolt with Light, thus making Light bolts. "You're coming with me."

"Why." Asked Ganondorf, rather calmly anyways. "I mean... I have this cookie dough and all of these woman. Besides the only means of weaponry you have against me is that stupid Light 'thing'."

"Fine!" Said Pichu as he switched it to Fire mode. "How bout now?"

"Nah..." Replied Ganondorf still stuffing his face."Now all you got is some little torch."

"How bout' now?" Asked Pichu as he switched to Ice. "This freaks you out right?"

"Depends." Replied Ganondorf as he put down his cookie dough. "What's that one do?"

"Lets see!" Said Pichu happily as he shot Ganondorf with his Ice Bolts. Thus freezing him solid.

"Ok..." Said Pichu to himself. "Now where is my evil lair going to be?... Since I need to... What was it... Kidnap him..."

"I know!" Yelled a voice from the stove. "Pick me!"

Just then JoebTheGreat popped out of the oven on fire.

"What... The hell..." Pichu once again asked to himself."

"It is I! The great one that haunts your bathrooms and steals your babies!" Replied JoebTheGreat "And I've come to help you on your quest..."


End!

Ok... So I was descriptive... took a long time... But it hardly had any humor! But don't worry! I'll update a hella lot sooner that I did this time and JoebTheGreat will have a horribly violent and twisted role.

R&5! ... What?