Disclaimer: Lol. The only thing I really do own is that poem that I wrote back in 5th grade that all of my teachers shat themselves over. So don't be stupid P

Also if you don't like really really sick violence. Then skip this chapter...

Chapter3: Ganondorf's in trouble...


Now where were we... Oh yah... JoebTheGreat.
We join Pichu talking to JoebTheGreat about where Pichu's evil fortress should be.

"We can store him here, in the desert." Said Pichu to JoebTheGreat.

"Nah..." Replied JoebTheGreat with a hint of laundry detergent in his eye. "Just give him to me... I know where to hide him."

"Ok then." Replied Pichu. "I guess I'll go look for Peach now. Wherever she is..."

Meanwhile, back outside, Link was getting up from his little fainting spell. Looking around, he remembered where he was and what had just happened...

"Oh my god..." Link said to himself when he noticed all of the various shredded/burned/mutilated/my cupcake/bodies laying around everywhere. "Wait what's that?"

What Link saw was strange... There was a flaming figure walking out of the fortress and it was carrying what looked like the frozen corpse of Ganondorf.

"No... Must... Save... " Link began to say as he fought the heroic morals in his head. "Must... Save the King...The King... From evil... Kidnapper... Must..."

So Link babbled on as he followed the strange figure that was carrying Ganondorf towards the Lost Woods.. Wherein the flaming figure stopped, grabbed a black mushroom, took a bite, and then proceeded onward until he found a grotto in the ground that he then jumped into.

"Hm... Should I go in?" Link thought to himself as he stood outside of the Grotto. "Hell why not? I do have the Triforce part of Courage anyways. And that means that nothing in there can scare me so..."

So Link jumped in and looked to the Grotto's back wall where a door was. He then proceeded further in through the door. In the next room he noticed Ganondorf, hog tied in the corner. Right next to Ganondorf was a door that had a steady stream of what looked like blood coming out from under it...

Just then JoebTheGreat came out of the door and closed it quickly behind himself when he noticed Link standing at the door.

"Hi..." Said JoebTheGreat, swaying back and forth, obviously messed up from the shroom' that he had eaten not even five minutes ago. "Do you like baby heads?..."

"Wha... What type of sick question is that!" Retorted Link. "And what are you planning to do to the King of Evil!"

Just then JoebTheGreat started doing the worm on the wall like some sort of tapeworm trying desperately to get out of a jar, all the while chanting...

"Baby heads... Baby heads..." Chanted JoebTheGreat as he rubbed himself on the wall.

"Oh my god..." Thought Link. "This guy needs serious help."

JoebTheGreat then proceeded to start doing the worm on the ground still chanting "Baby heads..." and before Link could stop the madman he was dancing some sort of arcane voodoo magic dance.

Then something even more horrible happened... It worked... Various dead, demon-like, babies were coming up from out of the ground.

"HSS!" Went one of the satanic children to JoebTheGreat. "Why did you kill us?"

"Why did you kill us? What did we ever do to you!" They all said together at once.

Then they all proceeded to leap onto JoebTheGreat in an attempt to tear him limb from limb! But JoebTheGreat just happened to have a katana in one of his pockets, and a chainsaw in the other!

"Dammit!" Yelled JoebTheGreat, more to Link than to the evil babies. "Now you see why I have to take there heads off!"

In saying so JoebTheGreat turned on the chainsaw and charged into the crowd of oncoming babies...


Censored for the sake of humanity and all things good in the world. Including Chocolate and Ponies and anything with a hint of green in it.
... letting the limbs fall to the ground and get dirty before he decided to just leave the body parts where they were. They would make a pretty good meal later.

"Well that was fun!" "Said JoebTheGreat happily until he remembered that Link was standing in the front of the room watching everything. "What? I had to kill them. They were trying to kill me!"

"..." Link was speechless. The only thing he could think to do about his situation was to kill this lunatic. So he pulled out his bow and arrows.

"... Now I'm not sure what the hell you just did." Said Link aiming his bow at JoebTheGreat. "But all I know is that babies are innocent! Dead or not!"

So Link fired. And in JoebTheGreat's failed attempt at an anime style dodge he had his hand nailed to the wall with the arrow.

"Wah!" Yelled JoebTheGreat, actually crying. "Kazzjaff why did you let this happen to me!"

"Would you shut the hell up about your voodoo...stuff... " Said Link before he fired another shot. This one sticking JoebTheGreat right in the eye.

"Oo!" Said JoebTheGreat, obviously not feeling any pain whatsoever. "That hurt."

And in saying so JoebTheGreat removed the arrow out of his hand and let it fall to the ground. He then removed the one from his face, taking the eyeball with it.

"So you think you can kill me?" Said JoebTheGreat like some type of DBZ bad guy. "Me? The Kazzjaff's messenger and holy one?" Then JoebTheGreat looked down at arrow that had his eyeball on it, and sadly to our dismay, ate it like a kebab.

"..." Link was on the verge of fainting once again. But he knew if he fainted then it would all be over for him and for the King of Evil.

"So how should you die?" Asked JoebTheGreat as he picked back up his katana that he had dropped on the ground when Link stuck him to the wall with the arrow. "I think I'll start with your legs and work my way..."

Luckily for us though, while JoebTheGreat was saying this Ganondorf finally woke back up. And him, being the uber strong dude he is, snapped the ropes that bound his arms and legs together. Then he pulled out his sword that has always been seen on SSBM but never used and turned to JoebTheGreat.

"Only one!" Yelled Ganondorf to JoebTheGreat. "Only one person is allowed to leave Link speechless enough to where he starts using '...'! And that's me!

"Kazzjaff give me strength!" Yelled JoebTheGreat like some sort of Anime war fighter. Sadly though Ganondorf was already about 5 ft. away from him when JoebTheGreat started saying this... So he was cut in half before he could finish the word strength.

"Die!" Yelled Ganondorf as he started smashing JoebTheGreat into a bloody pulp.

JoebTheGreat died. Thank god...

Sadly though, Link had fallen into a violence induced coma and was left in the grotto while Ganondorf left to find the one who had kidnaped him with those stupid Ice Bolts...


End!

Well that was a tad strange. Not really humorous. Unless you're some sick freak that thinks that people eating their own eyeballs is funny... Anyways now that JoebTheGreat is dead we can get back to Pichu on the next Chapter! Who know's... JoebTheGreat's dead. But his invention of Goog still hasn't come into play. 'hint hint'

Mad Props to JoebTheGreat! He's my favorite writer besides that Mr. Yum Yum guy. Now he knows how to make a woman happy! jk noob...

R&R! And I'm still waiting for a good flame!