Disclaiming: Oo! What now? I just came up with an almost original idea of saying Disclaiming instead of Disclaimer! That's about the only thing I own so don't be stupid (insert Tongue smiley here which symbolizes being silly not rude.)


Chapter 8: Pain and Redecorating!

OK... I am so dearly bored that I might actually update this the same day as my other update! But what's the use? Even that Comix dude has left me! Besides I plan on having a lot more people die in this chapter so R&R (Maybe that's it... I keep putting R& R at the bottom of my fics...)


Last time Pichu and JTG had found candy... Let's continue with seeing what happens next...
"Yay!" Pichu yelled with delight as he swam through an exceedingly large pile of candy that wasn't there last time he was in the castle.

Meanwhile JoebTheGreat was digging through all of the various rubies inside of Zelda's dresser.

"Yah." JTG said as he stuffed his pockets. "I'm gonna get tanked tonight! Whatever the hell that means..."

"Candy Candy Candy!" Pichu screamed as he began stuffing his face. "Yayz!"

Pichu then began to bolt around the room as a stream of electricity as he did before only this time he spelt out "THIS P00NS!" with his little electric light show.

"Yah. I know." Replied JoebTheGreat as he began digging through the other drawers looking for more valuables.

"LOOK AT ME GO!" Pichu yelled as he bolted out the bedroom door and went speeding down the hallways.

This whole ordeal went on for about three more hours until eventually...

"What the hell..." Said JTG as he pulled out various nude pictures of Falco and Captain Falcon making out. "What the hell..." He continued to dig through the dresser until he found a picture of Bowser naked. This site was far too much for him to stand so he dramatically passed out. And by dramatically I mean he stumbled around the room about sixteen times pulling down curtains and mirrors and pictures, and candy, and stuffed animals in an attempt to keep from falling.


Meanwhile Pichu was still Speeding through the hallways so fast that it'd make Sonic the Hedgehog jealous.

"Wee!" Yelled Pichu as he started to die down to a small, quick-moving, spark. "Need a refill."

And so he zapped his way back into Zelda's room and grabbed another mouthful of candies.

"Woot!" Yelled Pichu as he began bolting down the hallways once again this time his destination being the front exit.

"Yay yay!" He screamed as he approached the drawbridge at even higher speeds. Of course he was going to fast to notice the object coming but it didn't really matter anyways because he broke right through!

"Woot woot!" Screamed Pichu after he noticed what he had just lived through. "Wee!"

Pichu then headed up to the clouds and conjured up a massive storm that started making the Zora's river overflow, though this is unrelated and is only stated to show that it was a violent storm.


Scene change from bright mid-day to stormy dark afternoonish day...
"Huh?..." Muttered Ganondorf as he slowly sat back up. "What the..." He was looking up at the sky and was seeing a more than spectacular light show inside of the storming clouds that read "PICHU PWNS JOO!"

Ganondorf then started following the flight pattern that Pichu was doing. It seemed that after he did his light show five times he would zip back into the castle to refuel himself. Pichu also seemed to pass by Ganondorf about five feet away every time he went back into the castle..

"Ok..." Said Ganondorf as he splinted back up his leg. "Just need to... to..." He was pushing the bone back into his leg while squealing an eerie high pitched squeal. "Ok..." He said as his eyes watered. "I just need to time this right."

He then crawled his way over to where Pichu was regularly passing.

"OK." Said Ganondorf as he followed the stream of electricity with his eyes. "On three... On three." He panted as sweat fell down from his face and tears began streaming from his eyes.

Now his plan was simple. Perform a well aimed punch that would hit Pichu right between the eyes as he passed by. Thus splattering him all over Ganondorf's fist.

"One..." Ganondorf pulled back his hand. "Two..." He cupped it into a fist... "Three!" He shot his hand forward.

CRRAAAAACK!... Yet another sickening crack was heard as he made impact with Pichu's head...

"Hah!" Ganondorf laughed menacingly. "Got you good didn't I you little yellow prick... Huh?"

He then looked for Pichu who evidently didn't stop his flight pattern... But this time there seemed to be a small spatter of blood where the impact occurred.

"Oh no!..." He said in disbelief. "Where did the crack come fro-..." He then looked down at his hand... Which of course was no longer a hand... More of a bloody mesh of bones and ligaments.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed in horrific agony. "Why! Why?"

He then got up and started running around the court yard in such horrific pain that Satan himself would likely be jealous. And it just had to get worse when he tripped while he was running which made the bone in his leg stick out once again but this time even further.

"Gunh..." He managed to mutter before he coughed out a thick wad of blood. "This... This is the end..."

Ganondorf just laid there on the ground in the middle of the courtyard as the rain landed on him and as the camera zoomed out to show the whole scene from a dramatic birds eye view.


Now back to Pichu...

Pichu then slowed down because he started feeling weird and his head was hurting for some reason.

"Huh?" Said Pichu as he stopped to sniff the air around him... "Wait..." He looked down at his body...

"AHHH!" He screamed as he noticed that he was on fire. "I'm on fire!"

He then ran through the courtyard on fire until he tripped over Ganondorf's body and fell into the moat. Praise the lord the moat was filled with rupees instead of alligators or crocodiles or leaches...

"Pi...Chu..." Muttered Pichu as he floated on the surface of the water, steam rising from his recently burning fur. "Now that's... Some good... Candy..."

It continued to rain as he floated there, passed out, on the waters surface...


Meanwhile back with Crazy Hand...

"Hmm..." Said Crazy Hand as he started staring at a wall that lay in the direction of Hyrule Castle. "I sense... Something bad's going on..."

"Nah you're delusional." Replied Peach who had untied herself.

"What do you know? And why haven't you tried to escape yet?" Asked Crazy Hand who had just realized that she was redecorating the room.

"Nah I'm used to being kidnaped." Replied Peach as she started putting up various magical pictures from Mario 64. "Besides Bowser never let me redecorate his place. Maybe I can touch this place up."

"That's... Sort of... Nice of you... Especially after you've been kidnaped..." Replied Crazy Hand as he saw what was happening to the once bloody and dank grotto. "Maybe I am just delusional... I mean I was stoned about three hours ago... Maybe it's still in effect..."

"Drugs are bad." Replied Peach as she started up a tractor.

"Now what are you doing?" Asked Crazy Hand, confused. "And where did you get that tractor?"

"Nah I'm just making this place bigger. It's way to claustrophobic in here." She replied as she began drilling out another room.

"Damn!" Replied Crazy Hand happily. "Do whatever you want I guess... Just don't leave."

"Why would I leave when I can stay here redecorating your hideout? And besides it's not like I ever do anything around the house besides getting kidnaped by Bowser."

"Damn why didn't I ever kidnap you before!" Asked Crazy Hand as he began falling madly in love with Peach.

"Cause you're an idiot drug abuser..." She replied casually.

"Oh yah..." He replied stupidly...


End!

Damn this chapter is freaking even better than the last! I have to congratulate myself! (Pats self on the back) And I'm sorry about the way JTG passed out... I just had to get him out of the scene for a bit...

And now to rant about Angst!


When I asked my dear friend JoebTheGreat what angst was he replied simply "Emo." Now "Emo", as we know... Wasn't always what it is now (I'm not gonna talk about Angst in correlation to this site so if you don't wanna hear about it skip this huge paragraph). Emo used to mean that the song was Emotional (Thus what Emo stands for.) Yet nowadays it's classified as a bunch of high pitched teenagers wearing tight pants that are destined to deform and reduce their sperm count. Also you have to add in that they're likely to start screaming random bull shit that you can barely make out... Now this new age Emo is simply a crock of shit. Something that wasn't really ever meant to exist. Anyways the old style of Emotional music as done by bands such as The Cure and DeathCab for Cutie (don't know how to spell that... Should Google it...) And Coldplay is fine by my watch. I mean I was even listening to the .Hack/Sign original soundtrack (one of the few things Japan's done right so far when it comes to Anime...) And I couldn't help but notice how Angsty the lyrics sounded. But they didn't have to scream it! It's amazing! They got out an emotional message without pounding it into your eardrum and into your thick skull (aka mine... I have a thick skull... Had to tell you...) Plus there are cello's and other classical instruments playing in the background and as the melody/counter melody . Then add on the fact that only 2 of the 19 tracks are in Japanese! I highly recommend this CD and you can classify it as your own Emo...
Now I'm gonna get this story out... One way or another... It's a good story... But nobody reads M Rated Fan Fics... And the fact that I've started swearing gives it an even more 'immature' feel... Just please! If you're reading this spread the word that it's a good story!...

R&R... Sorry... It's an addiction...