Here is the parody of First Strike (I passed over First Choice)-- Finally! I got really busy, then got caught up in the 'will make it or won't it?'blitz surrounding the show. After news of the cancellation, I was mostly uninspired. But now with a possible movie - let the fun continue! Thanks everyone for your awesome reviews! I hope you enjoy this one too - more lighthearted fluff on the way.
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Previously on CiCHiatus – Congress signs into existence the Amy Bill; Mac chooses to keep Jim on as her Chief of Staff, not so much because she completely trusts him yet, but more as a "in your face/watch my winning ways steal your guy right from under you" kind of decision to spite Templeton after that whole teleprompter incident; Mac surprises everyone and picks a wildcard to be her VP.
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The scene opens as the newly inaugurated president, Mackenzie Allen, is steadily rowing up the Potomac River. As she makes her way through the relatively tranquil waters, she thoughtfully reflects on her situation.
"I can't believe the sun is shining this brightly on such an early October morning in Washington, D.C.," She thought. "It sure feels like 10 or 11."
She rows on, unaffected by the security motorboats ahead and behind her, the choppers whirring overhead, the underwater security detail swimming alongside her, the snipers positioned as best possible in the trees along the banks, the security motorcade driving along I-95 adjacent to the river, and the Secret Service positioned at various mile markers on the trails that ran through the park that surrounded the river.
Agent 1 to Agent 2: "We have to suggest jogging."
Eventually Mac docks on a bank under an overpass where Vince has been waiting to meet her. "Morning Mam. You have a meeting with the Chair of the APAC in the SRTC with the RANB at 8:30."
"OK," Mac responds, signaling to the security force that her workout is officially over. "What should I know?"
"Uh," Vince began consulting his notes. "Let's see. You have a meeting with the Chair of the APAC in the SRTC with the RANB at 8:30?"
"No, no. Give me the important details. Is he a lover or a fighter?"
"That info is above my security clearance Mam, but word on the street is that he's a hugger."
Mac processes this news as Joan rappels down the side of the overpass to meet up with the President.
"Joan. Tell me everything," Mac calls.
Joan at first looks perplexed, but then breaks into a huge grin. "Well, last night Billy finally asked me out and we went salsa dancing and let me just say…"
"Everything about my kids," Mac says in an exasperated tone just as Joan was reaching for her camera phone to show the prez some pics of her evening.
"Oh. Everything is in place – posts, surveillance, background checks, metal detectors, drug sniffing dogs, student spies…"
"Good. Big change. Maybe I should take them myself," Mac suggests.
Vince and Joan look at each other and laugh until they see Mac shooting them serious glares. Then Mac begins to laugh.
"Psyche!" Mac says in this unusually jocular moment. "I haven't taken the kids to school in yeeeaaars! And they're going to the same school! Besides. I have meeting with a hugger."
All kidding aside, Mac turns to Joan and issues a stern warning. "I'm trusting you with my kids here."
Joan thought this last statement was a little over the top. "Does she tell everyone this?" Joan pondered as she strapped up to climb back up the overpass. "Better me than the bus driver. And what about Waverly who sneaks sweets in to Amy at night? Or that mysterious nanny who shows up for one scene and then disappears forever?"
Meanwhile…Templeton, Jayne and Congressman Willie Wilcox have been in Templeton's backyard discussing ways to bring the Allen Administration down by way of Mac's choice for VP. Templeton had little faith in Willie as a source after he called his very small lap-dog a "magnificent beast".
After much thought, Willie offers some possibly damaging info. "You know how she thinks Keaton doesn't have a duplicitous bone in his body? Well he's duplicitious alright!"
Templeton rolls his eyes.
"He pinky swore he'd enter as a Republican and then he went Democrat!" Willie continued.
"Sounds pretty dup boss," Jayne added.
"Why he…he…" Struggling to find the right word, Willie pulled out his Fake Words That Start with the Letter 'T' That Can Be Used for Dramatic Effect Reference Guide. "There's a good one. He turncoated!"
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Back in the hallway of the residence, Becca, the straight-A student, is on the phone with Stacey.
"What's that Stacey? Oh yeah I missed it. Remember? I was out looking for my diary. Remember I called out on the front lawn of the White House thinking no one could see me and that I could simply catch a cab. What's that you say? Stupid? I know," She laughs. "Wait 'till I have you and some other classmates over when my parents are out of town!"
On her way into the kitchen Mac stops short noticing the brown crumbs all over Amy's face and new "I Support the Amy Bill" t-shirt.
"Amy what's that you're eating?" she asks.
"Oh just a bran muffin Mommy. Just like you told me," Amy says while hiding the chocolate chip pancakes under the table.
Mac grins in approval as she sits down to her own stack of pancakes that have been buttered generously and loaded up with syrup and whipped cream.
"Ready for school gang?" Rod asks looking at his less than enthused kids.
"Dibs on driving," Horace calls out.
Rod and Mac exchange proud nods, pleased their kids were taking so well to the whole "pretend like nothing has changed" routine.
"Secret Service will take you," Mac answers back. "And I want you guys to be prepared. Now that I am the Prez, you all are celebrities."
"Overnight sensations really. Way more popular than when you were just the VP's loser kids a week ago," Rod adds. "Now we're all somebodies. Everyone will be dying for pictures and autographs."
Becca was skeptical. She tried to think of the last time the American President's kids were hounded by paparrazi on the way to school. She couldn't. "Whatever," she sighed.
Just then Jim enters with an urgent look on his face. "Mam you're needed in the SitRoom. We'll have to push our prep sessions with Keaton."
Rod, hearing this, pushes back the slice of humble pie he has been eating, grabs his briefcase and races out of the kitchen. "I'm on it," he shouts as he hurdles over Nora who was on the way to see him.
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As Mac approaches the SitRoom, the door is swung open and the call for 'AttenTion' goes out and all rise and salute. Mac couldn't help but admit to herself that hearing that command and having everyone snap to attention really gives her a thrill.
"It wouldn't harm anyone to do it again," she muses and then walks backs out.
Just as everyone, a bit perplexed, begin to sit again she reenters. "AttenHut!" Everyone jumps back up.
"Oh, one more time," Mac thinks. "they don't like me anyway." She turns and walks back out and then back again and again until she is practically jumping in out of the door with one half her body. The guard tries to keep up with disjointed calls of "Atten," "Ate, "Ah," "tion?"
"I'm sorry everyone," Mac says laughing hysterically. "Please sit down," she says to the room who by now is out of breath, half standing and half sitting. "What's the situation?"
General Wolfe responds. "Agents have been killed in San Pasqual."
"Does anyone know their names?" Mac asks.
"Yes Madame President," Wolfe answers. "Preliminary intel reports indicate their wives, children, some neighbors and all of the major credit companies."
Attorney General Melanie Blackstone who is seated at the table dressed in fatigues with an oozie strapped to her back joins the conversation. "Its time to take action. With all dis respect Mam, this is no time for a weak leader."
Mac silently wonders how many more episodes there would be before she could give Melanie the axe. "I want to talk to General Sanchez."
"Mam," Wolfe starts. "The leader of the free world does not give audience to a…a…" Wolfe, who just so happens to have the same Fake Words with the letter 'T' reference guide that Congressman Willie has, flips through a couple of pages until he finds something really fake and really dramatic.. "…to a Thugocracy!"
Melanie, who has been adding combat paint to her face, interjects again. "We need to fly Sanchez in here, strap him to the Oval's desk and torture him."
"He needs to hear my ultimatum," Mac solemnly notes. "He needs to hear it from the President and he needs to hear it in…my Spanish."
Gasps could be heard around the room. A baby cries. Jim faints.
"Make the call happen."
Moments later the President is patched through to the Thug-o-cratic General.
"Are these tourists you are calling about?" Sanchez asks.
Jim jumps in. "Yes General. Its mere coincidence that they happened to all be men built like fighting machines with the same buzz haircut."
"I see. Well have a nice a day," Sanchez starts to hang up.
"One moment General," Jim says reaching for his soundproof earphones. "We're calling for an investigation."
"Or else what?" Sanchez taunts.
Jim signals Mac to go ahead. "General," Mac starts in Spanish. "General?"
Silence. Then a shook Sanchez weakly responds. "Wait, wait…"
"General, este es un anuncio importante…"
"Ok, ok. You win. Please please. No. No more Spanish," Sanchez shrieks out between cries and unitelligble babble. "I surrender. Whatever you want. Aye dios mios!"
Mac hangs up and issues the order to get President Juan Valdez (who fled to Georgetown and has since been trying to open a coffee chain big enough to rival Starbucks) back to San Pasqual and its burgeoning coca, er, coffee trade.
Meanwhile…Amy and Tommy meet up on a weird middle-of-the-school-day field trip-ish romp through some part of the White House.
"Hi," Tommy says. "My mom's busy today."
"Why is she still here?" Amy wonders.
"This is my nanny," Tommy motions to a lady standing to his left.
Amy nodded towards the lady shadowing her. "This is my dietician slash personal trainer."
"Interesting fact. This sign is wrong." Tommy points to a plaque on the wall.
"Mmmm. Not that interesting actually," Amy comments.
"Well you'll never see your mommy again."
"Well actually I bust into her bedroom uninvited every night. Besides as long as I've got Waverly giving me the goods, I'll be fine." Amy winks and then heads off for her daily weigh in.
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The rest of the day moves rapidly along.
-After a meeting with Mac in the Oval, Templeton suffers what he thinks is a mild heart attack after realizing by way of flashback that he could have been president if he just accepted Teddy "Bear" Bridges offer so many months ago. Then he realized he was just suffering from acid reflux and reasoned that perhaps those AF1 cookies weren't all that great after all.
-Rod spends the day trying to shake Norabox (half robot, half Botox gone bad) and lay the smackdown on Keaton.
-The Twins arrive to school and step out of the limo to only be met by a few local access stations including PBS, NPR and WETA.
-Becca admits that she hates public school and mingling with the "regulars." Her mother tells her that even though she and her father went to public school in the sixties in an upperclass, suburban Connecticut neighborhood, it was important that she too make history by being one of the first First Children to go to one of D.C.'s public schools. And then reminds her about her public school pals Jenny and Mimi.
-Mac receives praise and honor from across the globe due to her amazing tactical abilities. Juan Valdez is successfully reinstated as President. Sanchez is committed to a mental institution and his militants are disbanded. Millions of kids across America struggling in their language classes are encouraged by the Presidents shining example, now realizing their troubling foreign language accents can be an asset in the "fight against terrorism."
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Next Time on CiCHiatus…Mimi and Jenny drop out of high school…Becca makes a new fake friend with a shady guy named Mike…Mac commissions an investigative team to find out who has been smuggling goodies into Amy at night…Templeton spends the afternoon with his magnificent beast trying to come up with witty remarks, puns and double entendres to try and rattle the President out of office…Mac throws the administration a curve ball and speaks Russian - well.
