A/N: Wah! I really hate to be nit picky, or whatever, but my confidence is fragile, and no one has updated in over a week! Please, please, please, R&R. This next chapter took a little longer than I thought. School and after school clubs have been killer! Oh, well. Hope ya like this one.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter, and I never DID, and I never WILL.


Chapter 2: Reaching for a dream

Tuesday, May 12, Hermione, The Gryffindor guard ship

Hermione weaved through the crew as they walked idly along the ship; most of them were only feigning work to keep from being yelled at. Mostly, they ignored her , like usual, though a few, like Neville, Seamus, and Dean, who had known her before she came aboard the Gryffindor, offered a small hello, or a polite smile.

She made sure to answer back in kind. It was frustrating when they ignored her, as if she wasn't even there, and hadn't been for the last few weeks.

Hermione pulled her cloak closer to her, and steadied herself against the stern railing. It was a beautiful day, though a little chilly.

"Hey, Hermione," called out a familiar voice. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

Harry came to stand next to her, then Ron. She noted that they looked worried. But she wasn't sure if they were still worried about their conversation the other night, or her. She didn't think they'd have a reason to be worried about her, but apparently she was wrong.

Her two best friends looked at her sympathetically. "What?" She questioned them, cautious.

Ron spoke first, "You okay Hermione? I mean you've been moping around a bit lately."

Hermione blinked confusedly, then looked to Harry for confirmation. He nodded at her. She sighed, and slumped down, leaning on the railing. Now that she thought about it, she'd felt overwhelmed and exhausted recently. Not physically so, but emotionally. She felt her spirit being pulled this way and that for no apparent reason. It must have just been one of those weeks for moping.

"Yeah, I guess I have," she admitted. "I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just a little tired, you know." She eyed both of them, and they seemed to get it. "Maybe tonight I'll read that book I brought with me, and turn in early."

She knew she wouldn't do it, well, except for the part about the book... This was to keep them from worrying about her. Sometimes they seemed more like big brothers than anything else.

She tried to change the subject. "So, how much longer do you plan on staying out here?"

Ron warmed to the subject immediately, but Harry gave her a wary glance. He wasn't entirely convinced, but at least he dropped it.

"Well… the weather has been nice, and all is quiet, so we'll probably be returning soon. I'd say within a few days. Right Harry?"

"Yeah, that's probably it. The pirates have been pretty calm recently." Harry added.

"And," continued Ron, "There are some things that might need our attention back on land." Ron smiled at something. Hermione was reminded of the conversation about the Malfoys the other night. She guessed they expected Dumbledore to put them in charge of getting new information, especially since Neville was part of their crew.

"Really?" Hermione cocked her head and feigned innocence. She wanted more information. And a little something else that she's been badgering them about enough times. "Like what?"

Ron opened his mouth to speak, but Harry interjected, "Ah nothing. You know. Nothing too important. They just think they have a lead on the whereabouts of another pirate, or something."

Hermione obviously wasn't fooled. She tried the guilt trip technique next. "What? Really? I haven't heard anything. Something you guys forgot to tell me?" She raised her eyebrows, looking a little shocked.

"No, of course not, Hermione. It's, ah… nothing real important, that's all. I mean you probably have better things to than listen to pirate rumors," Harry tried to cover up.

"Oh, so I have more important things to do." She was getting angry, quickly. She didn't really mean to, but the thing pulling at her inside was building up unwanted frustration, and it seemed to want to start a fight at this very moment. "You obviously don't know me very well, Harry. That's then only thing I do want to do. Or haven't I told you enough times?"

Ron and Harry visibly swallowed. "I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean that…" He paused, thinking hard. Then it looked as if a small realization dawned. Look, Hermione, I know you want to be a sailor and part of the crew, and all, but I can't let you. You know that."

Hermione shook her head, he'd found her out. What this fight was really all about. She kept trying to find ways to get him to make her part of the crew. But, nothing she did ever worked. "Come on Harry. I'd make a good crew member. I'd work hard and all. You can't just shut me up behind some doors and expect me to stay."

She sounded whiney, but that was also how she felt. "Hermione you can't be a crew member, so stop trying to push it. You probably would make a good sailor, but first of all you're father would never agree, and neither would the rest of the crew, or captains of the other ships. They'd never let it happen."

"But you've never even tried. Or asked." She turned to Ron, desperate, "Come on, Ron, can't you at least give it a shot?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, Hermione, really I am, but I have to agree with Harry. It's not even worth trying."

Hermione tried to keep her rage in check, but it was like trying to quell a thunderstorm. It just couldn't be done. "This isn't FAIR! All because I'm a girl. I'm a girl and that automatically means 'incapable'. I can't stand this much longer! I'm not gonna be content as some fat ol' mans little housewife. Never! You can't just lock me away again!" She screamed at them, defiantly.

Ron was defensive, shooting back with almost equal rage. It seemed as if moods changed here, like the shifting tides. "Oh, you mean locked away like when those pirates attacked last month? Like when you knocked Neville over the head, so you could join the fighting, when we specifically told you 'no'?"

"Yeah! Like that!" She had no better argument. "Neville wasn't hurt, and I helped out a lot. I can take care of myself Ron." She replied in a low, threatening voice.

And, before he could retaliate again, Harry came around, and held Ron back. "Look Hermione, we're just worried about you. One of these days, you'll get in over you're head. We don't want anything to happen to you, that's all. We're worried."

He sounded sincere, and even without the calmness of his voice, Hermione could see it in his eyes. He was really just worried about her. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, but even still, he didn't believe in her. The fight was fruitless, and she didn't really want to quarrel with her two best friends, at least not now. She needed some time alone. To sort everything out. Perhaps in the morning she'd feel a little better about everything. She took a deep breath, counted to ten, and let it out.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so mad at you guys. It's just… It's just frustrating, ya know?"

They nodded, but she could tell, they had no idea what she was talking about. But did she really expect them to? They were men, they would never really understand. But, they were also her friends, and at least they always tried.

"You two should go. You're busy. I'll just stay here for a while. Just some time alone, 'kay?" They nodded again, and walked away, most of the former tension disappearing.

As they themselves disappeared into the crowd of sailors, down on the lower deck, Hermione turned back around and stared out over the horizon. The sun was high in the sky, with great puffy clouds to frame it. Seagulls called a small warning to any that might hear that they were coming.

The breeze reached out to touch her face, as her hand reached out toward something in the distance. Something she could feel. Not with her hand, but more with her heart. Somewhere out there was the one thing that could fill the emptiness inside her. Whether it was tangible or not, she couldn't tell, but nevertheless, she reached her hand out toward it like a child reaching for its mother.

Hermione need the rest of her soul, and somewhere. Somewhere out there, it had patiently rested. But, now, as the Gryffindor slid smoothly over the waves, it called to her. And her soul would never rest until it was full again.

Sadly, Hermione took her hand back.

And closed her eyes.

And prayed to whoever was listening.

Then she turned back around and crept into her little cabin, having a lot to think over, and little time to use for that purpose.


Wednesday, May 13, Hermione, The Gryffindor guard ship

Hermione woke up as a thunderous boom rang out. Then another. And it sounded... Hermione racked her brains, trying to place it. And in her subconscious, cowering in fear of it.

Another boom resounded, shaking the Gryffindor in her perch on the sea. Hermione grabbed the table bolted to the floor to keep upright. Screams of rage issued in through the space underneath her door. She heard Harry's voice above all others, shouting orders.

Suddenly, it hit her. The booming she heard was from the shots of a cannon! Her fear and mixed excitement tingled through her bones, as she hurried to her door, and flung it open, wanting to be a part of the impending battle.

The door swung on its hinges only to show an angry Harry, ordering around the crewmen that stood crowding the small hallway. Harry spotted her immediately.

"No, Hermione. You're not gonna force your way into this one. Not this time." Harry must have seen the look in her eyes. The one that combined a thrilling exhilaration, and a sense of oncoming adventure. He could probably see the thoughts brewing in her mind, skipping past the prospect of danger.

He also must have seen her plan unfolding in her eyes, because the next thing he did was shout to Seamus. "Hey, I want you to guard this hallway. No one gets in, and no one gets out," He emphasized, staring straight into Hermione's brown eyes. His own held a small challenge. One that he knew Hermione wouldn't step up to. Not now. She knew the consequences for disobeying him this time. He's already laid it out plain and clear.

The door to Hermione's cabin shut on a pair of furious, slitted eyes.

Turning back to face her room, Hermione tried to hatch another plan, but her mind was despairingly empty. It wasn't fair! She could help, and they knew it! She could be useful. She needed to be useful. Feminine idleness was destroying her. She simply couldn't stand it any longer.

And now! She had the perfect chance to show what she was capable of, and let her building frustration vent. I mean, REALLY! She could take on a couple of scarred pirates. She could help. She'd done it before.

Hermione almost screamed aloud, and at the same time had to hold back from kicking at the cabin door.

By now, the cannons had stopped, and she assumed they were only an arrogant warning that something was coming. The pirates weren't taking the advantage of surprise. She thought it stupid. Though, of course, it worked in their favor.

Breathing deeply, Hermione put her hands to her head and thought. She thought long and hard. So hard, that it was like she wasn't thinking at all. All her thoughts were concentrated on getting past Seamus.

She couldn't knock him over the head. Harry and Ron would kick her off the ship. Permanently. She couldn't persuade him. Seamus wouldn't be swayed, at least not easily. It wasn't worth it to take all that time talking when she could be fighting.

There had to be a quick, effective way, but as hard as she thought, nothing came to mind. Then… Hmmm, maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. If I could slip past Seamus without his knowing…Instantly, Hermione's gaze came to rest on the small window, high up on her cabin wall.

It was PERFECT! She could use the chair to reach the window. It was only just big enough for her to squeeze through. And, even better, if she put on her breeches and sailors shirt, and hid her hair in a cap… Harry and Ron, and the crew might not notice her for who she was. Just another crew member. And just before the fighting would end, she could creep back through the window, and they would never know!

It was almost too good to be true, reflected Hermione as she threw off her bulky skirts, and threw on her hidden breeches, and sailor shirt. Then, as the final touch, she curled her hair into a ball (thankful that it wasn't too long) and shoved it into a ratty hat that had once belonged to her father.

A grin spreading across her face, Hermione carefully, and almost ceremonially, pulled out her most prized possession. It was a thin, light, but incredibly strong, shining sword. The hilt fit her hand almost perfectly. The blade reflected her now anxious features.

The sound of battle cries broke the reverie that was starting up in her conscious mind. She quickly fastened the sword to her leather belt, and grabbed the chair that would give her a lift toward freedom.

Ah! The cool, salty breeze was a welcome feeling, blowing across her face. Lightly and freely. And for a moment, Hermione had a crazy wish to be a bird. Floating on the high winds, and viewing the people below with a mild interest. And being FREE! The very word made her heart sing.

Hermione swallowed her dream and swung one leg over the ledge, then the other. She carefully balanced her weight on her two arms gripping the fine wood. She made a silent prayer to a god she had never much cared to pay notice to. She didn't know what made her do it. It just felt right at the moment.

Glancing up, the ships topmost railing rose about five feet above her. Perfect, once again. Hermione slowly brought her feet back to rest on the ledge, and held herself in place with both hands resting on the windows upper side.

Here was the hard part. Willing her very soul to keep her eyes open, and her mind clear, Hermione stood up. Her hands still clutched the window, just barely keeping her in place. And preparing herself for the next challenge…

One… Two… THREE! One hand shot up to grip the very top of the ships full railing. Then, the other hand followed. And, using all the strength her body commanded, Hermione pulled herself up until her arms were straight below her, supporting her weight on the railing, and bringing her head up to see the battle around her.

It was getting a little bloody, she realized, finally recognizing the danger in her little stunt. Well, this was what she wanted, she was reminded, as she steeled herself against any feeling except the needed that started to burn in her. She wasn't even sure what that need was, but just like when she prayed, hanging from her window before, she simply had a vague sense that it was something that had to be done. Something that just had to be.

And swinging her legs over the railing, and drawing her sword, Hermione plunged into the sea battle, her heart and soul screaming louder than her voice.


Hey again. didya like it? Didya? I'm a people pleaser, and I can't please people unless I know what they want. You know how I can find out? Yes, you do! Click the little button down to the left. The one with the word 'review' on it. Please? Don't make me get down on my knees!

Hmmmm... clears thoat In other news... Ok I have no other real news, just that the next chapter will probably take as long as this one. My homework just keeps growing... and growing...

Thanks for reading, and thanks for reviewing. I just hope you like it enough to find out what happens next.

Tastetherain (PEACE!)