Amenadiel pays a visit to his little sister after Linda tells him about her 'new male friend' at the hospital, a specific Dr. Cullen.
CHAPTER EIGHT
RELIEF IN A MONSTER
Despite Ariel's acceptance of Carlisle's reassurance, it brings little reassurance to Carlisle himself. The reminder that no matter how they talk or banter, the bud of their friendship will always be haunted by the fact that he is a vampire. He doesn't even think about the implications of Alice's vision - knowing that she isn't always right and the future can always change. What if the reason it changes is because someone snaps? What if someone loses control and he loses the small bit of friendship that he has with someone outside of their coven?
It bothers him more than he'd like to admit and to his relief, Edward doesn't mention anything about his thoughts out loud to anyone nor does his 'son' try to talk to him about it either.
There's so many unknowns - the biggest one being Ariel. It leaves so much room for so many things to go wrong and for regret. Unknowns that could get people hurt - people like Ariel or his coven. He could always take whatever regret or hurt may come to him, he always will if it means the people around him can be safe. But she could regret this someday whatever this may be - whether it is the beginning of their friendship or if they were ever to become something more like Alice is still pushing for.
He really needs to stop thinking about that, honestly, but Alice's vision still comes up in his mind every so often. Especially on the days where Ariel laughs or when she piques up some obscure fact from history that even he didn't know. Her intrigue, her focus on helping the patients with little patience for the drama of the other nurses, it fascinates him. The idea that she could be like him - someone inhuman who is trying to atone for their sins or someone inhuman who is simply trying to use their gifts for the better of mankind. It kills him to try to figure out which it is.
"Dr. Cullen," Ariel's voice almost startles him. He didn't hear her come up from behind him, leaving him a tad flustered and surprised. She notices and her eyes twinkle - as if she likes the idea of sneaking up on him. "You have a patient in Room 3 waiting for you, I didn't mean to surprise you."
She grins wildly at him and he can hear her laugh as she begins to saunter off. Yes. Maybe it would be a good idea to avoid her for a while - just until he figures out if she does know for sure and is okay with whatever this is. Just until he figures out why it makes him so nervous.
She is running late for lunch. Despite being faster than humans, it's a feat that she has managed quite a few times due to her losing herself in the work, always making sure everything is perfect for the next patient and never missing a detail on her notes. She goes to the break room knowing that her break is going to be short and limited, but she still finds herself looking forward to it due to not having a chance to see Dr. Cullen at all throughout the day; their schedules seemingly never fitting together for a moment of greeting or banter.
The food is gone; she expected this and yet it still disappoints her when the offered plates of usual fruits and odd-ends are empty. Most of the break room has already emptied out by now too, leaving crumbs and discarded plates. She doesn't necessarily need food - but she does like it. Just like Lucy likes alcohol, she relishes in sweet fruits and juices. The refreshing taste of her lunch has become a highlight of her day, something that recharges her to finish a shift, keep her going.
She glances outside toward the patio area - her usual oasis, but finds it empty. Still no Dr. Cullen - a Dr. Cullen that had before made a point to arrive earlier to reserve her some food. No Dr. Cullen means no food; but on a dimmer note, it also means no Dr. Cullen's company.
Ariel isn't pleased at the change of direction that her friendship with Carlisle is taking. She has to admit that it has been over a week now that she's missed his presence at lunch, but today he hadn't even offered her an off-colored excuse for it. It's a shame, really - something that leaves a hollow feeling in her chest that makes her skin itch.
She regrettably enjoyed his company, had gotten used to it, and fallen into an easy routine with him that she, through banter and dancing words, enjoyed. She loved toying with him - she could see why Lucy did it so much, it was fun to make them wonder. But she also loved the honest conversation, telling too much while telling him nothing at all. Opening up about the little things, yet still staying tight-lipped about others.
It shouldn't bother her this much. Humans have come and gone in her life many times before - none of which bothered her, she had brushed it all off easily enough, had gotten used to the death of the few people in history that she found tolerable. But Carlisle isn't dead; he is just acting as if she is.
She's not used to this type of hurt - this type of annoyance. She can feel the twitch forming under her eye as she glances at one of the few people still left in the room. The nurse glances at her with a bit of concern, but Ariel gives a tight-lipped smile and an excuse of being disappointed about missing lunch, but that she'd live. Her words are hollow, but the other nurse doesn't question it - doesn't question her.
She decides that maybe her break is better spent working today; that it's one of those no break types of days, that she can busy herself and stay busy until she has a chance to go home to process the raw, unfamiliar, underlying emotion that is starting to build up in her chest.
She grows infuriated, an odd rage bubbling under her skin, when she sees Carlisle in the lobby. He stands with his back to her, talking softly to the woman behind the counter as he shuffles through notes on a clipboard; something about his nonchalant behavior of not going to lunch with her makes her boil.
As if he senses the change in energy, he glances behind his shoulder briefly and meets her eyes as she stalks toward him with every intention of getting some answers. He almost takes a step back at the fire in her eyes - the stiffness of her posture mimicking that of a predator finally coming for the kill. He's never really been scared of someone before - not a singular person and especially not after he became a vampire. He almost forgot what it felt like, being the prey.
He wonders if he can get away fast enough or if he should swallow it down and face whatever justice Ariel seems to be wanting to file. It should be expected - his avoidance of her had become less subtle within the last few days as he distracted himself with work. But he had never quite expected this level of rage from her - the boiling in her eyes, the posture of an animal ready to strike, and the absolute primal fear that hits him deep in his bones.
"Excuse me, Miss Ariel."
The second woman behind the counter lights up as she spots Ariel behind Carlisle. Carlisle visibly relaxes when Ariel's attention is turned away from him, the sudden wall of energy that had hit him weakening.
"You have a visitor - I almost turned him down - but he insisted and you're on your break… and he's very charming."
The woman flushes, whispering the last part as she glances in Carlisle's direction. Carlisle raises a brow, which causes the flush on her cheeks to deepen, but doesn't voice any objection to the visitation as curiosity blossoms in his chest.
Meanwhile, Ariel swallows down rage as she wonders which brother chose to visit, but she gets her answer as she spots a familiar dark face wandering up to the counter with a friendly, tadley forced grin.
Carlisle watches the newcomer closely, mixed emotions stirring. He looks as if he could rival Emmett, being large with broad shoulders and muscled arms; he looks strong and big, despite the way that his cleanly pressed clothes and friendly smile soften his edges, his size is even more apartment compared to Ariel. Though he is a few inches taller, his overall silhouette shadows over her, looking as if he could snap her into two pieces. Ariel has always felt off - slightly surreal, almost ethereal at times when she laughed and the world looked brighter. But this man feels old - out of place like an odd time traveler, slightly awkward posture that makes it obvious that he is not fully comfortable in his surroundings, but it doesn't stop the soft smile on his face or the intelligence that beams in his eyes.
He doesn't smell. The scent of blood is even fainter in him. Unlike Ariel, there's no overpowering smell of nature and pines. He doesn't even really smell like anything - just clean. Carlisle meets his eyes - not dazzling yellow like Ariel's, but darker and older. However, Carlisle can't explain the way that the man's eyes make him flinch.
Why couldn't it have been the other one, Ariel wonders tiredly; while a visit from Lucy would always cause mayhem, it would be welcome if it meant she gets to see her little brother, even more so on a day that seems to continue to kick her in the crotch (as Lucy would say). She almost prays out to her father, but washes her mind of the fleeting thought.
"Delia" Ariel's voice draws out, "What did I do to owe the pleasure of your company?"
Ariel's smile is forced while Amanadiel's is natural, charming and deep as he thanks the woman behind the counter for her help before he greets his sister. She knows that come tomorrow, she is going to be the center of a lot more rumors. She doesn't lean into his embrace or really accept it, but it doesn't stop him from throwing his arm around her shoulders. At the contact, the long day begins to really hit her as she sighs and lets Amanadiel gently lead her to a more private location for their visit.
She doesn't miss the look he throws over his shoulder to Carlisle and her shoulders begin to sag as she realizes that the talk she is about to have is not going to be an easy one.
The worst part, Ariel decides as Amenadiel drags her into an empty room as if it's their own private office, is that she knows that Carlisle is going to hear every word out of their mouth - vampire hearing is a bitch that way. She still feels a lingering pettiness toward him that she can't bring herself to care - not fully - and judging from the look in Amenadiel's eyes, he knows - and he is not happy.
Ariel leans against the wall, her head resting as she closes her eyes and prepares herself as this goes from a bad day to a worse one; the type of day that is so bad that this may as well happen. The rage at Carlisle is still boiling at a low simmer in her veins as she takes deep breaths through her nose, trying to solve one problem at time.
"Linda told me that you mentioned making new friends," Amenadiel starts, his voice stiff. "She was thrilled that you were branching out and frankly, I was too. But really Ariel? I know that you know what he is."
"Of course I know what he is, Deila." Ariel's voice is tired as she speaks slowly, "I'm just surprised that you do - I didn't think you or Lucy paid that much attention."
Oh. She can feel Amenadiel's energy - the tension, the string that is tightening and is about to snap. A part of her knows that his reaction is justified - but it's also the exact reason that she didn't mention Carlisle's true nature to either him nor Linda.
"I'm a big girl, Amenadiel. I can take care of myself if it comes to it. I'm the second oldest for a reason… Besides, Carlisle and his coven don't pose any threat to Forks or anyone and I don't think that they will. Yellow eyes and all."
The rage that has been simmering is starting to burn, her mind spinning with reasoning - this is exactly why she doesn't tell him anything. Perfect child Amenadiel - you'll never be as good as Amenadiel - Amenadiel can do no wrong. Amenadiel is the soothsayer, the one everyone has to listen to, no one goes against God's favorite, the messenger. Stop treating me like I am a child, Amenadiel.
"Yellow eyes," Amenadiel scoffs, "What good are yellow eyes when they're killers, Ariel? Monsters? What will it take for that doctor friend of yours to turn on his patient? How long will it take?"
"Carlisle has the most self-control I've ever witnessed," Ariel's voice is a vice, tight and restricting as she spits the words out between locked teeth. "More than any human I've met. More than even you - he has more self control than I do. He operates on humans all the time, Diela. Day in. Day out. I've seen it for months now - months of acting human when blood is seeping through scrubs, months of not even flinching when he is stitching up a human heart. Months of nothing but the strongest self-control."
"How many times have you lost control, Diela? In just these past years alone," Ariel's voice turns accusing, "How many times has Lucy?"
"We don't kill people if we lose our control," Amenadiel stresses, but he is losing the argument and he knows it.
He wishes that it would be easier, but Ariel's stubbornness combined with her own strong sense of belief makes her the hardest one to talk to. He's never been able to get through to her - not the way Lucy has, not the way that Uriel did, or the way Mom could. Out of everyone, he dares to say that they're the ones who have always clashed the most - dangerously so after Lucifer got thrown out.
Ariel cocks a brow and Amenadiel back tracks.
"Not in the way that they do, Ariel. We're not made to hurt people like they are…"
His words only turn up the heat on the rage that is brewing in her veins as it goes from a simmer to a roaring boil. A fire grows in her eyes and Amenadiel can feel the thick tension that brews in the air between them, the heavy energy of a fight waiting to happen. He can see it in the tenseness of her shoulders, the way her nails are digging into her fists. He almost humors it - almost matches the aggression, almost takes a step forward ready to take whatever hits that she wants to throw his way.
"You're not made to hurt people, Amenadiel," Ariel hisses, "You're the one not made to hurt humans - you're not the one who used to like it."
But her nails are making small cuts into her palm. Ariel doesn't seem to notice - or care - nor does it seem to really hurt her, but Amenadiel can see the small thin lines of blood forming under her fingers. He takes a step back and takes a deep breath as he rolls his shoulders, refusing to match her energy. He can practically feel the thin tethers that are holding them together start to break apart.
"They have a choice, Delia, a choice that all living beings have - and Carlisle chooses to not hurt anyone. Just like the rest of his coven. They all choose to at least try. If they lose control - as all creatures do at times - then I will handle it. But do not call them monsters, Delia."
It's a choice that she is trying to make too; a choice that she struggles with when patients aren't polite or grateful for what the nurses are doing, when male coworkers make bad comments, or when all the girls on the unit have decided that she is their enemy because father-forbid that she's friends with Dr. Cullen.
But Carlisle doesn't struggle with it. She sees it in his eyes. The way he doesn't falter during surgery or when a patient is causing trouble. He shows only kindness. Warmth. If he can do it - she likes to think that she can too.
Ariel's fire is starting to go out, her eyes dimming as she relaxes her shoulders and releases the nails from her palm. Amenadiel can see it now more than ever, the tired, almost hopeless gleam to her eyes and the exhaustion that is settling in her bones.
"I'm getting too old to be arguing with my older brother," she admits softly, the amber of the fire burning away to nothing as she rests her head against the wall.
"And I don't like arguing with you either, but Carlisle is an amazing man. You wouldn't believe how many people I've seen him help - how many broken bones that he's set, how many smiles he's put on patients' faces, how many lives he's saved. And I've seen the look in his eyes when someone comes in that can't be helped. Vampire or not, he puts everything into this hospital, into this town, too much so to ever be called a monster."
Amenadiel watches her carefully - curiously. Linda had told him about Ariel's friendship with this Dr. Cullen, but considering that nothing is ever that simple, he should have expected this. And of course it's with a vampire, he bemoans.
"Ariel," Amenadiel takes a step forward, "I'm just worried about you, sister."
His words are a broken record - something she's heard a thousand times before, but she still doesn't object when he embraces her. She rests her forehead on his chest, not having the strength to return it.
"Why are you visiting here, anyway." Ariel's voice is slightly muffled and soft.
"Well - I -"
Amenadiel falters and he can feel the stuttering shaking laughter from Ariel before she moves, looking up at him with knowing eyes.
"You heard that your little sister had a male friend," Ariel teases, her voice becoming almost sing-song as she pokes fun at him. Her eyes are still tired, but Amenadiel has to admit that he feels relief that she isn't angry, that they're still siblings.
"-Linda was curious too," Amenadiel admits, not denying the reason for his prompt visit.
Ariel hums as they start to leave the room, the pressure on her chest still present but not as heavy. The few nosy nurses that glance their way doesn't go unnoticed, a few glancing into the room that they just left as if there would be evidence of some sort of scandal.
"Just promise me that you'll call us if something happens," Amenadiel's hand lands on her shoulder, "We're always here for you, Ariel."
She really wishes that he would just leave, her cheeks starting to burn at the accusing eyes of a few stand-off nurses, feeling oddly flustered as she knows that as soon as in an hour, the entire floor is going to be flooded with rumors.
Carlisle tries to give them as much space as he possibly could. A part of him hopes, as he sees the larger man escort Ariel into an empty room, that if he puts enough distance between himself and that room then he wouldn't hear anything he's not supposed to - that he wouldn't even be tempted to eavesdrop. It didn't matter how much he wanted to. If anything to get a glimpse into who the man was - why Ariel is so casual with him, being more relaxed than he's seen her around anyone else in the hospital? Why did the man glare at him like that?
But his next patient isn't too far from the room that they've chosen - it's just one over in fact. While the patient flinches, hearing loud noises and the brink of what seems to be muffled yelling in the next room over (something that Carlisle does his best to calm and gives half-hearted excuses of arguing couples), Carlisle hears every word clearly. Too clearly. He hears too much, he admits, and he hears things that he probably shouldn't.
A part of him can't help but feel that he violated some sort of trust by listening in, but he can't help the wave of relief that washes over him as he puts the pieces together.
Amenadiel. Odd name - it reminds him of his bible days and almost makes him feel some sort of odd melancholic nostalgia. Ariel's older brother - the oldest of all of their siblings while Ariel stands second.
It brings him more questions than answers, his mind spiraling with possibilities. It makes it more likely that her family is chosen like his coven, but something about their relationship with each other runs deeper, deep like a real, blood-bonded sibling.
But it also brings confirmation. Ariel, as well as this Amenadiel, despite their physical differences (not even sharing the same eye color like all vampires do), are not human. It almost makes him relieved - excited, more eager to pursue a friendship with someone who can understand. As to what she is - that still is the big question. It makes his head spin as he absorbs everything they say as if they may actually reveal what they are, if they will give him the answer to his puzzle. But they don't. They dance around it. We're not made to hurt people. But he thinks of Ariel's blazing eyes, the primal fear that had rattled his bones. You're not made to hurt people, Amenadiel. You're the one not made to hurt humans - you're not the one who used to like it.
Her voice wavers with her argument with her brother as she cries about the sins of her past and it is a painful reminder of many members of his own coven - and himself. That they're much more similar than he thought - almost painfully so.
She also knows what he is. There's no doubt about it - as Amenadiel spits out the word monster like venom while Ariel defends his coven - defends him - to her own brother with vicious passion. She doesn't hesitate to use the word vampire, just as she doesn't falter in her confidence of handling them should something happen despite the way that her tone suggests that she really believes that it won't. That she trusts them. She trusts him.
Carlisle is an amazing man. Her words ring in his ears - she doesn't use vampire, creature, being. She uses man. With conviction, confidence and security. He feels an odd sensation build in his chest, something akin to fascination, awe, but he can't quite name it. He's almost too scared to.
He exits his patient's room with a soft smile on the edge of his lips and has the unfortunate luck to run into both of them as they exit. The nurses that are scattered about don't escape his notice either - but it gets pushed into the back of his mind. He will handle the chaos of the gossip later.
Ariel's back is to him and he can catch the scent of her hair in the breeze of the hall. She doesn't notice his presence as she watches her older brother leave. Amenadiel, however, does notice him as he whispers a goodbye to Ariel, giving her a tight embrace. His eyes don't leave Carlisle's from behind Ariel's back. His dark eyes linger on the doctor, almost warning him, but it's softer this time around. Not the unwavering threat of death, but the vice of a protective sibling not wanting their little sister to get hurt.
Carlisle gives him a subtle nod - an understanding.
I promise I won't hurt her.
